Standing In The Sun
by What'sHerName1
Summary: [SEQUEL to 'After Darkness Comes The Dawn'] Fifteen years on from the last instalment and Jim and Spock's relationship hangs in the balance. Having already been tested time and time again, the strength of their bond is once again challenged by a drastic turn of events that turns their world upside down.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi!**

**This story (as mentioned in the description) is a sequel to 'After Darkness Comes The Dawn'. You'll need to read that first, or this will make pretty much no sense to you!**

**I don't own Star Trek or any of the actual Trek characters, but I do however own Seren, Christopher, Leo, Emily, David and a few others that we haven't met yet ;)**

**Let's see how this goes shall we...**

* * *

**Chapter One**

Christopher George Kirk rolled over onto his stomach, face nuzzling into the soft pillow.

He was tired. It had been a long few days with moving into their new apartment and of course celebrating the big move.

He planned on going straight back to sleep, allowing his aching body a bit more time to recover.

"Chris? Jim wants to talk to you," his twin's voice interrupted his slumber and he groaned, reaching one arm out of the nest of blankets to accept the communicator. Leo fumbled as he searched for his hand, but eventually handed over the device.

"Wassamatter?" he slurred sleepily.

"Morning sunshine," his father greeted cheerfully and Chris groaned loudly, burying his face into the pillows.

"I was just wondering why every time I look out of my office window I'm met with your pert little _ass_? You said modelling Christopher; you never said anything about butt modelling."

Christopher sighed.

"Because I got paid a lot of money for that underwear campaign. Like more than you earn in a month, for three hours work and my ass on a couple hundred big screens. Sounds like a good deal to me, and if that upsets you then you should see the other picture," he mumbled.

"Just because you've got it, doesn't mean it needs to be flaunted outside my office window. Spock is going to flip a table when he see's it," Jim warned and Chris snorted.

"I'd love to see that. Maybe something I do will finally get some kind of reaction out of him. Is this all you wanted to talk about? Because I'm trying to sleep here," he whined and Jim chuckled.

"Meet me later for dinner? Both of you?"

"Can't. I have a hot date."

Jim sighed loudly.

"Well fine, I'll just take Leo out for dinner."

"That's fine. I'd rather get laid," he shrugged and Jim snorted.

"You're too much like me for your own good," he said, ending the communication. Chris groaned again and snapped the communicator shut, throwing it carelessly aside and listening to it clatter across the floor.

"You in trouble or something?" asked his twin and he peeked his eyes open. Leo was still standing by the bed and had been for the whole conversation.

"Yeah, he's worried about how bad Spock will be offended when he see's my ass up on that big screen by HQ," he said, causing Leo to smirk.

"I still don't believe that it's even true. I think we're both ugly as trolls and this entire 'I'm a male model' thing is some ploy to boost my confidence."

"Yeah well you keep thinking that if you want, but the evidence is all there that we are two damn good looking cross-breeds," he said as he threw the blankets off and swung his legs around to get out of bed.

"One day maybe I'll find out," Leo said and Chris placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Sure you will, and on that day you'll just want to stare at yourself in the mirror all day and touch yourself inappropriately because you're just so damn sexy, little brother!" he grinned, clapping his brother on the back before leaving the room to raid the fridge.

Leo followed him, and Chris flinched as his twin bumped his shoulder into the doorway. He wasn't quite used to their new apartment yet, but they had only been there three days so he had plenty of time to learn the place.

"Hey don't get bruises or Jim'll accuse me of beating you!" he warned as he flung the fridge open.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Leo said.

Chris looked at his twin and smiled. They were both incredibly fortunate in the looks department, but Leo definitely edged him slightly. There was just something about him that made him ever so slightly better looking, and Chris wondered if it was the complete innocence in his deep brown eyes. Having never seen the world, he'd never been corrupted by it.

"So when I meet Jim for dinner later I might go home with him and sleep at the house. You were kinda loud yesterday with that girl and… I… yeah… it made me uncomfortable," he admitted as he fumbled in the cupboard for a box of cereal.

"Sorry… not my fault if they're screamers," Chris shrugged and Leo screwed up his face.

"But it's your fault that _you're_ a screamer," he pointed out and Chris laughed.

"You should have felt what she was doing to me and see if _you_ could have kept quiet."

"This is hardly a conversation to be had whilst eating, Christopher," said his brother in a mock-posh accent.

"That's right. Hey I'm going out soon for a casting, you'll be OK here by yourself?" he asked and Leo sighed loudly.

"I'm blind, not retarded. I can take care of myself, you should know that by now," he said indignantly.

"Well yeah I know, but I feel bad leaving you. We've not been living here long and I know you still can't find everything all the time."

Chris had done his best to put everything away as quickly as possible so that there would be less risk of his twin tripping over or bumping into anything. He'd done a good job, and so far Leo had only ended up falling over once and that was his own fault for leaving his own shoes in the middle of the room.

"Chris I'm fine, I swear. You should go. Go get your cute little butt on some more posters," he said and Chris smirked.

"You should come with me. I bet they'd pay _big_ money for twins-"

"No. Not doing it," Leo said, cutting him off stubbornly.

"OK that's fine. At least let me bring over some friends to introduce you to?" he offered and Leo ran a hand through his hair.

"Now the last time you said that, I found out the girl I had been talking to all night was a hooker who you'd paid to have sex with me… so how can I trust you?" he asked and Chris laughed out loud.

"You can't trust me. And would you just hurry up and lose it already? Jesus. You're twenty years old and a virgin. I swear your balls are going to explode or something," he muttered and it was Leo's turn to laugh.

"No. There's no way I'm going to do it with someone when it doesn't mean anything… I want it to be… right," he said and Chris snorted into his cereal.

"You mean you only want to have sex with a woman you love?"

"Yeah I guess."

"A woman like Emily McCoy?" Chris teased and Leo blushed vivid green right up to the tips of his ears.

"Be respectful. Bones would kill me… you remember when we had the birds and bees talk? I think his exact words were 'and if either of you stick anythin' in my little girl I'll cut it clean off and give it back to you in a jar'," said Leo in a perfect impression of Leonard McCoy's voice. Christopher laughed.

"True. And I like that particular appendage being attached to my body."

"I hear rumours she's going to be back in town though, soon. Haven't been around her since we were what… thirteen?" Leo asked and Chris agreed through a mouthful of cereal.

"Yeah. I bet by now she's got a great pair of-"

"Chris! Shut up," Leo whined and his twin laughed at him. "Although… could you… y'know, tell me how big they are?" Leo asked hesitantly and Chris grinned. Maybe they weren't so different after all.

"Not unless you have practice sex with someone else before you make a fool of yourself in front of her. You're way too much of a child you know," Chris said and Leo shook his head.

"Yeah well… at least I'm not a filthy little man-slut that fucks anything with a pulse," he mumbled and Chris gasped, throwing a spoonful of cereal across the table and spraying milk all over his twin's face.

"Did… did you just throw food at me?" he asked.

"Oh that's it. It's on!"

* * *

James T. Kirk almost choked on his coffee as he rounded the corner onto Eighth Avenue.

He was met with an enormous illuminated screen on the side of one of the buildings, and his son sprawled across it.

Christopher was posing suggestively, draped across a brown leather couch in only a pair of _obscenely_ tight white boxer briefs, legs spread wide and a look on his face that said 'come and get it, ladies'. The bulge he was displaying had Jim feeling all of a sudden _very_ inadequate in that department, and the way every muscle in his young body was clearly toned and defined made Jim feel his age just that little bit more.

"God damn… little slut," Jim muttered as he walked quicker, head down now as he did his best to get away from the image of his once innocent little boy in almost all his glory.

He knew when Christopher had been spotted by a talent scout that it was only a matter of time before he landed a big contract. The twins were aesthetically perfect, almost so much that it was painful. They'd taken the best from both their parents, with Spock's dark eyes and piercing stare, pointed ears and strong jawline, and Jim's blonde hair, tanned skin and facial structure, they were never going to be unattractive.

His communicator bleeped in his pocket and he pulled it out.

"Hey Jim, I need a favour," Bones' voice rang out.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Could you get that picture of Chris taken off that billboard? It's just I've got such a raging mega-hard _boner_ from looking at him that I can't focus on working," he teased and Jim sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to start calling you 'Boneser' you know," Jim said and Bones gasped.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I would if you keep saying such obscene things about my little boy, stop it Bones! It's weird enough for me to see it all over the place without you being a pervert."

"Little boy? _Little?_! Jim have you _seen_ the size of-"

"Yes! Bones! I've seen it. I've seen it all over town. I'm mortified and humiliated and so angry I could punch him right in the pointy ear, but he's an adult now, and if he wants to whip his cock out for a little bit of money then there's nothing I can do stop him, especially now that they've moved out. What do you want anyway?" Jim asked as he sped up, walking back towards Starfleet HQ.

"I don't really want anythin', just to bother you while I'm on break. Oh. And Emily is comin' home, for good this time too, we're throwing her a little 'welcome back' party next Friday. Think you can round up the three musketeers and bring them along?" Bones asked.

"If I can convince Seren to ever come home from Chicago then maybe. You maybe want to get a drink later?" Jim replied.

"Well, give it a try. That sounds good. Normal place, normal time," Bones said as he cut off the communication.

Jim stuffed the device back in his pocket and hurried into the building, doing his best to ignore the large billboard right outside with Christopher's picture looming over him.

* * *

"Are you alright? You seem kind of quiet," Jim asked as he watched Leo carefully eating his food.

"Hm? Oh no, I'm fine," he said quickly and Jim set down his own knife and fork, staring hard at his youngest son.

"Stop looking at me like that," protested Leo after a few moments and Jim smiled.

"Sorry. Are you sure though? I mean you've barely touched your food either."

Leo sat back slightly in his chair.

"I haven't been feeling too well today, just a little bit of a headache is all. I think it's from not being able to meditate too much lately… my mind is getting all… clogged," he said and Jim nodded.

"Yeah. Spock get's like that too sometimes. Is it Chris behaving like an asshole that keeps disturbing you?" he pressed and Leo sighed.

"The other night he brought home this girl…. And I don't even want to know what they were doing to each other, but it was so loud I couldn't ignore it and I couldn't sleep. I'm wondering if moving in with him was the best idea. I mean, he doesn't need me there to help pay bills, he's got all of that covered… I'm just the talking point to get him introduced to the women, and then he leaves me at the bar to find my own way home," he said and Jim scowled.

"He shouldn't be doing that. Using you to pick up girls? That's wrong. And leaving you in unfamiliar places by yourself too?"

"Relax. It's nowhere completely unfamiliar, plus I've got ways of finding my way places," he smiled and Jim raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? Like how?"

"Well, the one I've been using a lot lately is to wander into the ladies bathroom. Sounds crazy right? But then a girl will spot me and normally start yelling or something, at which point I tell her I'm completely blind and have no idea this was the ladies bathroom. So then their tone will change from 'you asshole pervert' to 'oh you poor, _poor_ man'… they lead me back out, I ask them for the address of wherever we are. Bingo, I can find my way home."

Jim grinned at the ingenuity of the plan. Leo knew San-Francisco by heart. How many paces were in each block, where there were steps and kerbs and dreaded trees in the middle of the pavement. Once he knew where he was, he could find his way to any other point within the downtown area. The Vulcan part of his brain never failed him, and his ability to memorise and problem-solve was like nothing Jim had ever seen before.

"Very clever. I like it," Jim smiled and Leo shrugged, picking up his glass of water and taking a sip.

"So how's the life of the Commodore? Still just as fun as ever sitting at your desk lining all your pens up perfectly straight?" Leo asked and Jim chuckled.

"Yeah something like that. I hope Spock is having fun with my ship out there though…" he sighed.

"When is the great Captain home next?"

"Soon, I hope. He's damn well been gone long enough." Leo could sense the hostility in Jim's tone.

"Are you guys fighting?" he asked and Jim made an indecisive noise.

"Not exactly. I think not speaking would be a better way of putting it," he said and Leo pressed further.

"Why? What happened?" he asked and Jim paused before giving his answer.

"He wants me to force you and Chris to go to the academy… and I don't want to do that. I mean you're one year off your own degree, and Chris is… off having fun and catching STD's or whatever the hell else he's doing. I don't think you guys have ever wanted it, therefore, I'm not going to push you. I mean… he never tried to push Seren into the academy, and I think the three of you should be treated equally," Jim explained.

Leo finally set down his knife and fork, deciding that his headache had ruined his appetite so completely that he didn't want anything else to eat.

"She didn't need to be pushed into the academy, she was at medical school at the age of fifteen," Leo pointed out and Jim nodded.

"True. But you're going to get your Engineering degree next year, and then if you want to join Starfleet, well, that's up to you," Jim said and Leo sighed.

He did want to. He wanted nothing more than to join and go off into space on great adventures as his fathers had done before him. It was just that being able to see would be a requirement of that, and a requirement he couldn't fulfil.

"So you guys aren't talking because of that?" Leo asked and Jim sighed.

"Can we not talk about it?" he asked quietly and Leo nodded.

"Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, really, it's fine. I just don't believe in parents putting their kids in the middle of their fights. Anyway. Shall we head out? I'll give you a ride home," Jim offered and Leo nodded, ignoring the way his headache was now trickling down his spine.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Jim offered as Leo fumbled with the door handle to get out of the car.

"Yeah. I'm fine, honestly, I just need to sleep," he said stubbornly, doing his best to force his hands to stop trembling and to ignore the pounding in his skull.

He stepped out of the car and ended up flat on his back as his sense of balance failed him completely.

Within seconds Jim was out the car, had grabbed his hand with both of his own and was hauling him up to his feet.

"Come on, I'll make sure you get to bed OK," Jim said firmly and Leo knew not to argue.

He couldn't help but notice as Jim led him up the stairs into the apartment building, still gripping his hand.

He wished he hadn't noticed.

Jim's left hand that was on his was completely naked.

_His ring was missing._

"Dad is everything alright?" he asked as they stepped into the lift, Leo grabbing for the bar he knew ran at round waist height to support himself on his wobbly legs.

"Right now I'm more concerned about you," Jim said as they ascended the building.

Leo didn't say anything further.

He allowed Jim to lead him into the bedroom and untie his shoes for him so he could kick them off, but then insisted he was fine and sent him on his way.

Relaxing back into the soft mattress he focused on the exact source of the pain in his head. It was near the back, and relatively low down, sending the occasional jolt of pain down his spine if he moved incorrectly. He closed his eyes tightly and did his best to slow his breathing and attempt to sleep.

* * *

"You get smaller every time I see you," said Bones as Jim approached.

"Well, what can I say," he shrugged, sinking into the bar stool beside his friend.

"I'm serious Jim. Your uniform is like a tent on you, it's not a good look."

"Shut up! Alright! First Leo and now you… just… stop grilling me," Jim exclaimed and Bones looked taken-aback by the outburst.

"Alright then Mr. Pissy! Jeez... What's up anyway?" he asked and Jim sighed deeply, resting his elbows on the bar and letting his head fall into his hands.

"We're having a… trial separation," Jim said quietly and Bones took a sharp breath.

"Didn't realise you were quite at that point," Bones said bluntly and Jim nodded. He gratefully accepted the drink Bones slid across to him, taking a large sip of it.

"Neither did I. He suggested it," Jim said glumly.

Bones shifted in his seat, subconsciously twisting the gold band on his own finger.

"When does he get back?"

"A couple of weeks. I guess we're going to talk about it all then… I just… for him to be the one breaking up with me, that's what really takes the cake, you know?" Jim took an aggressively large swig of his drink, almost draining it in one go.

"I gave up… _everything_ to stay at home, to be there for them, and that's fine… I mean, I expected to. But him? He's missed more of them growing up than he's been here for. It was almost like nothing changed for him. Then he got promoted too and that was that… he's off out in space for months and months at a time, forgetting that people at home might actually… need him," Jim finished weakly and Bones signalled the bartender to place two more drinks in front of them.

"Does he know you feel like that?" Bones asked and Jim laughed loudly, but there was no happiness in it. It was the cold, sarcastic laugh of a man who was well on his way to becoming completely bitter and cynical.

"Knows? Yeah. He knows. _Cares?_ Now that's a whole other question."

They fell into silence, Jim just draining glass after glass until Bones cut him off at eight.

"What about your mental… link thing? Won't that always be there?"

Jim shrugged.

"It's kind of like the ones we have with the kids. It still exists but hasn't been used in such a long time it's gone… dormant. The ones with the kids haven't been active since they were old enough to care for themselves, and Spock and I have ignored ours for the better part of the time he's been away." Bones stared down at the bar. He knew Spock had been gone just over a year this time, and it was taking a serious toll on Jim.

"He missed Seren's graduation… he missed our fifteenth anniversary, after missing our tenth too. He wasn't even there to support me when... when..." Jim was unable to say it, and Bones understood.

A little under six months after they had returned from the five year mission and Jim and Spock had got married Jim had found out he was expecting again. They had agreed it would be their last child. One last baby that Jim had so _desperately_ wanted, but it wasn't to be. At eight weeks Seren had found Jim passed out on the kitchen floor at home, Spock off world on New Vulcan. She'd been the one who'd called him in the middle of the night, panic in her voice, the most emotional Leonard had ever known her.

Jim had miscarried, and with no way for his body to eject the embryo, it had started to poison him, septicaemia spreading rapidly through his body. The damage was severe, and to save Jim's life Bones hadn't had a choice but to remove the entire reproductive system.

He always felt like Jim had never fully got over it, and never fully forgiven Spock for not being there to help him through it.

"He just… he doesn't care, and I'm done being hurt by it," Jim said firmly.

"I know you all too well Jimmy, as soon as he gets home you'll throw yourself at him an' everythin'll be fine. You've been talkin' like this before and you always change your mind. You're just makin' it into a bigger thing than it really is… I mean, sure, he's been gone for a lot of time-"

"Bones in the twenty-one years we've been together he's been around for nine years, four months and twelve days. Five years of that was the mission. So… he's been away the _majority_ of our relationship. I just… I'm sick of waking up in an empty bed when I'm no longer even convinced that the person supposed to be sleeping there even loves me anymore," Jim said, finally meeting Bones' eye.

His blue eyes were just as bright as they always had been. Unnatural almost. Age had been kinder to him than it had to the Doctor, and the lines on his face were shallow, still not a single grey hair in his head of caramel strands. Bones theorised it had something to do with Khan's blood and the vastly longer life-expectancy of the Augments, but he had never done any research to prove it. Jim's face did reveal something though.

Pain. Hurt. Misery.

It hadn't been the life he'd wanted when he'd said his vows that day up on the ship. He thought Spock would be there for him, as he'd promised that he would, and he'd been let down. Finding a way to cope he'd thrown himself into caring for the kids and working, rising quickly to the rank of Commodore and staying there so he could keep his desk job, the kids becoming his main focus.

Now the twins had moved out and Jim was all alone, Bones felt a strong surge of sympathy for the man who had put his faith in someone who had done nothing but stamp all over his emotions for the past fifteen years.

"Jim… do you want to come over? I'm not working until tomorrow afternoon, we could get out a bottle of-"

"Thanks… but I should probably go home," Jim said, interrupting him before he could finish his invitation.

"Sure. Who's more drunk? I only had five to your eight." Bones asked as they stood up.

Jim wobbled a little and the Doctor grabbed his upper arm.

"Take it I'm driving," he said and Jim smirked.

"You know how it is Bones, five and drive! Just like the academy days," he said, clapping his friend on the shoulder as they left the bar together.

A short drive later (and a careful one at that) Leonard McCoy pulled up outside the familiar house and Jim looked up at him from where he had spent the last fifteen minutes examining his own fingernails in great detail, trying to avoid conversation.

"Do I have to throw you out?" he asked and Jim smiled weakly, looking up at the house all in darkness, not a single light on.

"No, I'm going. Thanks Bones, I needed this today. Say hi to Carol for me."

Jim closed the hover-car door with a dull thud and walked up the path to the front door, his feet crunching on the grey gravel. He gave his friend a small wave as he pressed his palm to the reader and the door unlocked to allow him in.

Sighing, he stepped into the house, not even bothering to turn on any lights as he kicked off his shoes by the front door.

They were the only pair sitting there.

There were no small purple sandals that Seren had worn until they fell apart as a little girl. There were no Converse classic basketball sneakers favoured by Leo his whole life as the thin soles allowed him to feel the ground better as he walked. There were no eccentrically coloured shoes in whatever the current fashion was, belonging to Christopher.

And to top it all off, Spock's black boots were thousands of light years away.

"Asshole," Jim muttered under his breath as he stomped upstairs to his bedroom.

He peeled off his clothes before padding down the hall in only his boxers to brush his teeth.

On the return trip to the bedroom he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror in the hallway, scowling at the man he saw staring back at him in the half-light.

He crawled into bed, finding himself once again sleeping on Spock's side and cuddling a spare pillow.

He lay still and alone with his eyes open and staring unseeingly at the wall, listening to the silence of the house and longing for the days when it had been full of life.

* * *

**Reviews appreciated :)**

**Oh. And just bare with me with the Jim and Spock stuff.**

**I wanted it to be realistic, real marriages face troubles and tests and hard times, and I didn't want them to be exempt from that.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well hello again, back for more I see!**

**This is un-beta'ed (I'm in the process of sorting that out) so all mistakes are my own.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter two**

Jim let out a strangled yelp as he was woken abruptly by someone diving on him. Someone tall, slender and _heavy_.

"Get up!"

"Get off me!"

"No! Get up!"

"Oh my god you weigh a ton!" Jim grimaced as he heaved with all his might and sent Christopher tumbling onto the floor. He blinked sleepily and sat up, met with the sight of both twins standing in his bedroom, Christopher straightening his clothes from where he had been pushed off the bed.

"What are you doing here?" Jim asked and they both smirked identical smirks._ Dangerous_ smirks.

"We think you could use a little cheering up, old man," Chris said with a wicked grin as Leo snatched up Jim's communicator from the bedside table where he knew he always kept it.

"Leo-"Jim began in a warning tone but Chris grabbed him firmly and held his hand over his mouth.

"Hello Admiral Bennett? Yes this is Kirk here. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make it in today, I'm feeling terribly unwell," Leo said in a _perfect_ impersonation of Jim's voice, adding a slight hint of weakness to it to make him sound convincingly sick. Jim's eyes widened and he struggled feebly against his sons grip. Leo had always been incredibly good at doing impressions. His hearing was off the charts sensitive, and Jim felt it has something to do with it, he could pick things up in voices, subtle things that he could replicate through practice. His own voice and Spock's voice were his standard two, but he did a mean Leonard McCoy and his Scotty was always good for a laugh.

"Kirk? Hmm. Well. OK, but make sure you get straight over to medical and report back later," said the Admiral, he sounded slightly suspicious.

"Thank you Sir, I'll be sure to do that right away. Kirk out," said Leo, snapping the communicator shut. Leo laughed triumphantly and punched the air, Chris releasing his death-grip on Jim.

"You… this isn't… what the hell are you two playing at?!" Jim demanded.

"_Excellent _job on the voice there!" Chris said, giving Leo a hearty pat on the back.

"Why thank you, thank you," he said, taking a theatrical bow.

Jim shook his head and groaned loudly, flopping back down onto the pillows.

"Get up! We're going on a field trip! We've decided you need to be pulled out from being stuck up your own ass sulking and taken out for a full day of fun," Leo said enthusiastically.

"What time is it?" Jim asked without opening his eyes.

"Too late already, now get in the shower before we throw you in there!" Chris demanded, dragging Jim's warm duvet off the bed and throwing it on the floor, leaving him laying in the middle of the bed with no blanket to hide under.

"God damn it! You two are in so much trouble!" Jim hissed as he threw himself off the mattress and stormed down the hallway to take a shower.

Ten minutes later once he was showered and dressed in casual clothes Jim noticed Leo fiddling with a small handheld device.

"What you got there?" he asked and Leo tucked it behind his back.

"Never you mind," he said, sticking his tongue out.

"Headache better?"

"Much. I told you I just needed sleep," he said and Jim shrugged his agreement.

"Whoa, what the hell is- are you doing this?" he demanded as tiny white sparkles began to swirl around the three men. Leo grinned as they dematerialised.

"This is not fun for me!" Jim protested loudly as they rematerialised a few seconds later.

"Sure it is, being kidnapped is fun for everyone," Chris grinned as they began to drag Jim along the street. Jim looked around to be met with a familiar skyline.

Chicago.

"_What_ are we doing in Chicago?" he asked and the twins shook their heads.

"Can't tell you."

"Nope. Not saying. You'll have to wait and see," Leo said as they continued to walk.

Jim knew vaguely where they were, but he wasn't overly familiar with the city. The most time he had ever spent there at once was a fortnight whilst Seren was in her first year of medical school. She was only fifteen years old, and moving into student dorms had been an intimidating experience for her. Jim had stayed with her and slept on her couch for a whole two weeks until she could finally sleep alone.

Jim smiled as he noticed the familiar figure standing looking out over lake Michigan. Her back was turned but she was unmistakable even from behind, her long dark hair cascading down her back in soft waves.

She glanced around and noticed them, then turned to face them, leaning casually back against the railings behind her.

She had Jim's lopsided smile on her face and her blue eyes were shining. He felt a twang of hurt at how much she looked like Spock, but he forced it down.

"I have missed you," she said as she hugged the three of them at once.

"Can't say I've missed you," Chris said and Leo laughed.

"Nope. We haven't missed you at all. Well. Maybe your cooking," he grinned.

"You two are terrible," she said with a small chuckle, shoving them away.

"Commodore," she smiled at Jim.

"Doctor," he nodded and she laughed.

"I still don't quite feel like it's real. It doesn't feel like all those years have finally led to something, although, the eighteen hour shifts certainly feel real," she said and Jim grimaced.

"Bones used to do twelve hour ones when we were at the Academy, he'd get home so tired I'd have to help him change clothes," Jim said and Christopher pulled a face.

"Didn't realise Bones used to be gay with you."

"Oh shut up! It was nothing like that," Jim protested and the four of them stood together and laughed.

"So. You've abducted me from my bed, you've committed an act of identity theft to convince my boss I was too sick to go to work, and you've brought me somewhere against my will. _What_ are we doing here?" Jim demanded and Chris and Seren looked at each other, grinning.

"Just, come with us," they said as they began to practically drag him down the street towards where Seren's sleek silver car was parked around the corner.

* * *

"Oh my god, I swear if I go on this one more time I'm going to spew, but It's _so_ much fun!" Chris bobbed up and down on the balls of his feet as they stood in line.

They'd spent all day at the enormous amusement park located just outside of Chicago.

Jim had been manhandled and coerced onto the first few rides, but was now bubbling with excitement for the next one. They'd certainly done a top class job of distracting him and he was really touched that they had gone to so much trouble all to try and cheer him up.

"You're looking a little green," Jim pointed out and Chris shook his head.

"No. No I'm fine," he said stubbornly.

"I would suggest you do not ride again," Seren said and Leo laughed at his twin.

"What's the matter big shot? Roller coaster got the better of you?"

"Hey! Shut up! It's scarier when you can actually _see_ what's coming up!" he said and Jim sucked in a breath.

Any kind of joke or comment about Leo's blindness had _always_ been off limits. Always.

"I'm not scared of anything," Leo said, perfectly calm. His facial expression gave nothing away. He either wasn't hurt, or was very good at hiding it.

An awkward silence descended as the four stood waiting patiently in line.

"So… Leo when does your next term start?" Seren asked her brother who started talking animatedly about his studies and how much he was looking forward to getting back to them after summer break.

Jim zoned out until he noticed Christopher staring at him.

"You guys are going to work things out right?" he asked and Jim looked at the floor.

"Yeah, sure we are," he said, trying to inject some positivity into his voice.

"You don't sound entirely convinced."

"I guess I won't know until we see each other," said Jim honestly.

Chris nodded and dropped it, and the four moved forward until they reached the front of the line.

* * *

"I've never seen you look so terrified in all my life!"

"Shut up, I hate you all," Chris whined, putting his hands over his ears.

"Fear is an illogical emotion Christopher," said Leo in an uncanny impersonation of Spock's voice.

The twins continued bickering as Jim got to talk in depth with Seren about her job at the hospital. They were sitting in a small pizza place near the Chicago river, waiting for their food after their long day of keeping Jim distracted at the theme park.

She was working primarily as a surgeon, but was also working on several research projects, though she kept the details a firmly guarded secret no matter how much Jim tried to worm some information out of her.

"Hey this time next year I will have graduated!" Leo pointed out excitedly and Jim smiled.

"You will. You'll be ready to steal Scotty's title as the finest engineer I know."

"Pfft. He's an amateur, I'm already better than him," he said and Jim laughed.

They sat and talked, laughing openly, sharing stories. They didn't get to do this often, especially with Seren and Jim's schedules both being so hectic.

After practically force-feeding Jim more pizza than he could comfortably eat they settled into a contented quiet, just enjoying each others company until a shrill beeping rang out from Seren's bag.

"I have to go," she said as she glanced at the pager. Jim nodded and stood up to hug her goodbye.

"You can make it next Friday, right?" he asked and she froze.

"I will try my best," she said sincerely.

"That's all I'd ever ask," he said with a smile as he watched her leave after saying goodbye to her brothers.

"Well boys, are we going home?" Jim asked and Leo yawned and stretched.

"Better had or I'll be too tired to work the portable transporter," he said with a sly smile.

"Where did you get that?" Jim asked as he placed it on the table. Jim picked it up, turning it over and over in his hands as he inspected it.

"I built it. Just… y'know, over the summer. I was bored so I got to tinkering. It won't go off planet, and from San Fran to here is about it's maximum range, but it comes in handy in sticky situations," he said and Chris smirked knowingly.

"I take it you two have been having adventures with this huh?" he said and they both smirked. He sighed and shook his head.

"I never should have had kids. Passing on my wild streak into you two was irresponsible for the wellbeing of society," he said and both boys laughed.

Jim's wild streak had been on the back burner for a long time now. Long gone were the days of drinking and fighting, and fucking anyone who'd stay still long enough. Spock had tamed that out of him, but he knew it was still in there beneath the surface, buried deep.

As much as he wanted to hate Spock, he knew Bones had made a valid point the previous evening. Jim would often get like this when Spock was away for extended periods of time, but as soon as he'd come home he'd forgive him of all the nights he promised he'd call and didn't. Of all the times he hadn't been there. It was almost like it was all instantly forgotten the moment they locked eyes on each other.

The last time Spock had been home Jim had been ready and waiting for him, standing in the living room as he heard the front door open and his footsteps in the hallway. Jim had rounded the corner, fists clenched, breathing heavy, ready to march right up to his husband and punch him square in the jaw and demand of him how the _fuck_ dare he come home after how little he'd bothered to communicate in the time he'd been away.

But he hadn't. He'd rounded the corner and their eyes had met, blue meeting brown actually in person for the first time in seven months.

Before either of them could get a word out Jim had thrown himself forward, pinning Spock roughly to the wall, kissing him with savage intensity, hands clasping fistfuls of his black shirt.

They hadn't even made it upstairs. They'd barely made it to the couch.

Jim thanked every god in existence for the kids being at Carol and Bones' house that night.

But this time was different. Jim could feel the change in himself. He felt… drained. He didn't even know if the raw heat that existed between himself and Spock would even be there when he got home this time.

"Jim? Dad?"

Jim snapped back to his senses, aware of a hand waving in front of his face.

"Hmm? Sorry," he said quickly.

"What were you thinking about?" Chris asked and Jim smiled.

"Oh uh… just about when you were kids," he lied quickly.

"Go on?" Leo pressed and Jim mentally cursed himself for now having to concoct a story.

"Nothing really. Just about the time when Spock and I sat you down and explained after you started school and you noticed that most kids had Moms and Dads that I was actually the one that carried you and everything, and then you started getting weird about calling me 'Dad', and then from then onwards I was always Jim to you. One of the guys at work was asking me the other day, he heard you on the comm. when I was in my office. He thought it was disrespectful… but then I explained that to us it's always been well… normal. As normal as we could ever be anyway," he said. Both twins seemed to accept the explanation.

"You should try being five years old trying to understand the difference between boys and girls and then being told that your 'dad', who is a 'boy' is also a 'girl' and actually was the one who gave birth to you," said Leo, shaking his head.

"Yeah. You traumatised us," Chris interjected jokingly.

"Me?! Traumatised you?! I took six months of your minds being joined to mine! And neither of you are exactly the most logical of part-Vulcans," Jim pointed out and both boys shrugged.

"So, _Jim_."

"Jimbo."

"Jimethy."

"Jimmeny-Jim-Bob."

"Enough," Jim laughed. "Are we going home?" he asked and Leo nodded.

Christopher insisted on paying for their food before they left, walking a little way before beaming themselves back to San Francisco.

Jim went back to the boys apartment with them, Leo having fallen strangely quiet.

"You tired again?" Jim asked and Leo nodded slightly, a curious expression on his face.

"Yeah. And I mean I slept ten hours last night, and that can usually last me a week, but I feel like I need to do the same again," he said and Jim felt a niggle of concern for his son.

"Do you want to go and see Bones tomorrow? Get checked out?"

"No, I'm fine, really," he said and just as Jim was about to argue Chris started babbling excitedly about a message he'd just received from a modelling agency, saying they could get him a lot more work based on the success of his first major campaign.

"This is _awesome_!" he grinned, flashing the message at Jim who read key parts of it out for Leo.

"Uh… yeah, well done," Jim said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

He had concerns about his son's career choice. Serious concerns.

He was very bright, but he had completely rejected the Vulcan side of his mind at a young age. He could still use his telepathic abilities, but he had shunned logical thought and meditation in favour of fully embracing his inner Kirk.

Leo had gone for a more middle ground, there were strong traits of Jim present, but he was quieter, more logical, more reserved and more careful with his thinking.

"I'll be the best, I can do it," he said firmly and Jim nodded, giving him half a smile.

"Yeah, You can. You've sure got the looks for it kiddo; and the ass too apparently."

Leo settled onto the couch, laying down on his side and closing his eyes, holding himself with his arms wrapped around his chest, as if he was cold.

Jim looked at him curiously.

It was strange behaviour, something he might have expected of Chris, but not of his twin.

Jim was about to cross the room to check on him when his communicator sounded from his jeans pocket. He removed it and glanced at the ID, taking a small breath and holding it for a few seconds before answering.

"Hi Spock."

* * *

"You want to talk about it?" Joanna asked her younger brother.

"No," he grunted from the passenger seat of the car, surly expression firmly etched onto his face. She chuckled.

"You know you'll pass it next time, I just know it," she assured and he sulked, sinking further into the seat and looking pointedly out of the window, away from her.

_Just like Dad_, she thought to herself as they neared home.

She slowed the hover-car to a stop and David was out first, bounding up the steps and through the door, discarding his red cadets jacket on the way into the room.

Joanna followed, picking up the discarded item of clothing and carefully hanging it over a chair.

"Dad? Carol? You home?" she called.

She heard a muffled thud and a giggle from upstairs and sighed, rolling her eyes as she slipped off her heels and padded into the kitchen.

It had been a long day at the office, and there was only one remedy for a long day as her Daddy had taught her a long time ago.

She groped around under the kitchen sink, knowing where he kept it hidden from Carol.

"Leonard McCoy you sly dog," she chuckled as she carefully extracted the bottle of Bourbon and poured herself a small amount into a glass before stowing the bottle carefully where she had found it.

By the time her father appeared her glass had been emptied and re-filled with water which she sipped slowly as she sat at the kitchen table.

"Hey Jo, didn't realise you were coming over tonight," he said, trying to play down the fact he was wearing sweatpants that looked like they'd been pulled on very hastily, and his shirt was inside out.

"Yeah. I picked David up from campus, he didn't want to sleep there tonight… which I can understand," she said and her father nodded, running both hands through his hair as he sank into a chair on the other side of the table.

David had failed his pilot's exam for the second time that afternoon, whilst all his classmates had passed. They were all moving into their third year, but he would be stuck, repeating the entire year again due to failing twice.

"He's got the skills, he just don't have the confidence," he said and Joanna nodded.

"Hi sweetheart, how are you?" asked Carol as she entered the room. Joanna smirked. Her hair was a hastily fixed mess and she was only wearing her bathrobe.

_Like a pair of teenagers, even after all these years._

"Hey Carol. I'm pretty good, another day another dollar you know," she said and Carol smiled.

"Have you heard anything back from your application to join the translation department at Starfleet yet?" she asked and Joanna shook her head.

"No… but it's pretty slow. They get so many applications that it must take them forever to get through everyone. I'm fine doing what I'm doing for now," she said and her father gave her half a smile across the table.

Joanna was working in a shitty job. An office in a grey cubicle, shared with two others, translating what were essentially gossip magazines ready for publishing across the galaxy. But it paid her bills and kept her busy, so she couldn't complain. She'd always been far too laid back to be worried about something as silly as diving immediately into her career at a young age, wanting to find herself a bit more first.

"I'm going out," David's voice echoed from the hallway.

"Where?"

"Out."

"David McCoy! _Where_?!" his father demanded and he stomped into the room.

"Out. With Chris Kirk and a few others. I'll be back later," he said as he shrugged on his leather jacket.

Leonard opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it again.

"Be safe," he said. Carol stood silently watching the exchange.

"I'm always safe," David scoffed, turning on his heel and leaving the house.

"He's picking up a real attitude from that Kirk kid… I don't like it," Leonard huffed and Carol walked over, her hands resting on his shoulders, rubbing the knots out of them.

"Maybe you should have a word with his father," she suggested and Bones snorted.

"Jim can't control him. He knows he can't. The only person that kid has ever listened to is way out in space where he can't do anythin' about any of it. I swear it's only a matter of time before somethin' blows up, and I don't want David involved," he said firmly.

Joanna understood.

Christopher Kirk was building himself a reputation, and it seemed some of his behaviours were definitely rubbing off on her younger brother. He'd always looked up to the twins like older brothers, and they'd always protected him like a younger brother, but David and Chris were both as bad as each other when it came to being competitive.

When the first images of Chris in his underwear had appeared, David had immediately joined the local gym and begun exercising relentlessly until he was as large as the Kirk twins. He'd cut his hair, he'd started to dress differently, to talk differently.

"He'll come out of it. Remember when I was eighteen? I dyed my hair black and went through that stupid punk phase? He'll be fine. He'll see that Chris is an asshole in his own time," she said and Bones grunted his agreement.

"You heard anything more from Em?" Joanna asked.

"They've got their last show in Paris on Thursday and she'll be arriving home on Friday morning," Carol said with a small smile.

Emily McCoy could give Christopher Kirk a run for his money in the 'who is more famous' stakes. She'd spent five years at music college in London, to leave at eighteen and join a pop-rock band that called themselves 'Warp Five'. They'd achieved a reasonable level of fame, enough to keep Emily away from home for two more years whilst they toured, but the bubble had burst and they were splitting. Emily was coming home to regroup whilst she decided what to do next.

Joanna yawned widely and stretched.

"I'd better go home, I'm pretty tired," she said, getting to her feet.

After being seen out by her father and Carol, Joanna drove herself home to her apartment. It wasn't big or fancy, but it was perfect for just her and she was happy there.

She fixed herself a quick dinner and changed out of her work clothing, settling onto the couch she pulled out a PADD and trawled through her messages, looking for the reply she'd never confess to desperately wanting.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**Hi there! Here's the next part, things are picking up a little bit of pace and I'm getting really into writing this :) I'm a bit more certain about the direction I'm going with this, so I'm feeling more confident. Again still not beta-ed so any mistakes are my own. It's getting a little angsty, and the scene is being set for bigger things in later chapters. Oh. And Spock is here. You're welcome!**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

"Hi," Jim said nervously as he stepped into the room. His heart was pounding so fiercely in his chest that he was worried Spock would be able to hear it.

Spock stood and straightened his uniform, turning to look at him. His facial expression was neutral, but his eyes always gave him away. Today they looked like… remorse.

"Was surprised to hear from you, and even more surprised that you're back so soon, I thought it would be a few more weeks at least," Jim said as he walked straight through the room and into the kitchen.

Spock didn't reply and Jim didn't particularly want him to.

He stood in front of the fridge and opened it, surveying the contents in detail.

_Do I want a glass of orange juice? I mean I'm kind of thirsty. Do I want water. Hmm. Decisions decisions._

A strong pair of arms snaking around Jim's waist caused him to tense. Warm breath on his neck caused him to fight against the grip and take a large step away, slamming the fridge door closed in the process.

"I'd appreciate if you didn't do that," he said firmly, trying his best not to glare at Spock who was looking at him with that same expression.

For a few long moments they stared at each other. Jim crossed his arms protectively across his chest, standing up a little straighter.

"I understand that my behaviour in recent weeks has caused you emotional distress," Spock said and Jim laughed.

"In recent weeks? Spock. Jesus. It's been the last I don't even know how many years that have caused me emotional distress. You don't _get_ it, do you? You don't see why it's a big deal?" Jim tried to keep the volume of his voice down. All he really wanted to do was yell at him. Maybe even hit him. He wanted to see any kind of emotion come to the surface.

Spock looked at him carefully.

"Start at the beginning," he said and Jim leaned back against the countertop, looking at him strangely.

"The beginning of what?"

"The beginning of when I started to hurt you. I am certain I can justify my actions on every occasion, putting to rest your illogical fears over-"

"Spock. Would you just... _shut up_?" Jim cut him off. It didn't come out like he wanted it. Angry. It came out almost… pleading.

Spock stared at him for a few seconds and opened his mouth as if to say something, before closing it again. Jim felt rage surging up inside him, and did nothing to control it. He launched forward, snatching his husband by the shirt and shoving him into the opposite countertop, a surge of heat rushed through their usually ignored bond but this time Jim was adamant their lips would not meet. They wouldn't have angry make-up sex on the couch. This time everything that needed to be said would be said.

"You want the beginning? You want to know when this started going wrong for me? Let's try the time when you left me here alone with the kids for the better part of the last fifteen years? Remember that? Oh and the time when you've missed every milestone, every important day, pretty much every birthday and Christmas… and it isn't even just the big days, its all the little things and you weren't here for any of it. _Ever_. You weren't here when our daughter graduated high school aged thirteen, you weren't here when Leo had that surgery on his heart and he was _terrified_ he wouldn't wake up, and that he'd never see you again. You weren't here when I, when _we_ all needed you. When we finally moved into this house, where were you?" Jim demanded and Spock held his gaze.

"The Laurentian system, I believe-"

"On some _stupid_ fucking mission that they could have sent _any_ ship on! You were always jumping at any little thing they offered you Spock! You never thought about the fact that we needed you here! You've missed everything. The kids are gone you know, none of them live here anymore, it's just me. They've all grown up and left. Seren stayed in Chicago and she's working at the hospital where she did her training, Leo is going to graduate a year early, ahead of all his classmates that can actually _see._ Chris is… making these decisions that I don't agree with and can't control, and I feel like it's because of you. It's because he wants to rebel against you, it's the same reason he stopped acknowledging his Vulcan side, because he wants nothing to do with you Spock."

Jim paused, his grip on Spock's shirt tightening.

"And when I almost died. You weren't here. Seren was six years old then. She was the one holding my hand when I woke up in that hospital, not you. And do you remember what you said, when we talked about what had happened?" Jim asked and Spock gave a small nod.

"What was it?!" Jim demanded, voice finally rising to a yell.

"That it was incredibly unfortunate that-"

"UNFORTUNATE! You remember that? You remember how I was about ready to just… let everything go, how I was so god damn low that I never thought I'd feel alright again? Well you weren't there to fix it. It was the kids. It's always been them, and you've been hurting them too."

"Illogical. They have been highly proficient in caring for themselves since the age of-"

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT THEM CARING FOR THEMSELVES!" Jim roared and Spock fell silent.

"This is about caring about them, not for them."

"Of course I care about them, I care deeply about them. I also care about you, as much as you choose to believe I do not. I stayed away that time because I knew that if I saw you I would be unable to maintain control over my emotions. I was just as… devastated by the loss of the child as you were. Perhaps it is you that does not listen."

Jim narrowed his eyes.

"Oh no. Don't you _dare_ turn this around to be about me, don't you fucking try it!"

Jim relaxed his grip and took a step back, Spock's eyes widening slightly as he caught sight of Jim's left hand and the white tan line that remained in place of the gold band that should have been around his finger.

"You have removed your ring," he said slowly and Jim sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"When you suggested a trial separation, I figured why not trial taking that off too," he said coldly.

Spock looked positively heartbroken.

"I suggested a trial separation out of hope that in each others absence we would come to realise the depths of the feelings we still have for one another. I do not wish to terminate our relationship. As you are aware, Vulcans select their bondmate for life," Spock said and Jim allowed his shoulders to slump.

"I meant it that day on the ship too, til' death do us part," Jim said quietly.

They were both silent for a few moments, the only sound Jim's slightly heavy breathing as he allowed the rage to leave his body, to melt away into nothingness.

"Would this be an acceptable moment to initiate physical contact?" Spock asked and Jim looked at him.

"You mean like a hug?"

"Affirmative."

"Spock I…" Jim paused, sighing again before trying to find the right words.

"I love you. I do. Part of me always will no matter how much we fight. The problem is right now that as much as I love you, it's all kind of mixing with how angry and hurt I am. The fact of the matter is that you haven't been here enough, and the length of this mission has been kind of the last straw. If we're going to work things out, then certain things have to change. Unless you think you can change… then… we need to separate," Jim said and Spock nodded.

"It's late, can we talk about this tomorrow?" Jim asked, trying to stifle a yawn. The kitchen clock told him it was nearing two in the morning.

"I will be debriefing, and explaining to Starfleet command why I saw fit to end the mission three weeks earlier than scheduled," he said.

"Why did you?"

"Because your mental shields are, and always will be, inadequate. I could sense your emotions and decided that three additional weeks away from you would have been… unacceptable," he said. Jim turned away but felt a small tingle of hope.

"You know that's the first nice thing you've done for me in so long I can't even remember," he said.

"I will ensure I am available in the evening, so we can talk for as long as is necessary," Spock said and Jim nodded, turning back to look at him again.

They were silent once more, just staring at each other. Jim didn't really know what else to say. He was tired, and his emotions were running high and in danger of getting the better of him.

"Would you like me to leave, Jim?" Spock asked and Jim froze for a minute.

"I don't want you sleeping in my bed," he said quietly and Spock nodded.

"But you don't have to leave the house or anything… there's three empty beds up there," he said and Spock left the kitchen in silence.

Jim buried his face in his hands, trying to figure out how he was going to untangle his mess of conflicting emotions.

* * *

Christopher almost didn't believe what he was hearing.

"Hey darlin', are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten _I_ see," said David with a cocky grin and a Southern drawl, leaning confidently against the bar next to her.

He almost choked in his drink as the girl _actually went for it_.

A few seconds later and they were making out sloppily and Chris chuckled, finishing the rest of his drink before setting it down.

He scanned the crowded room again, but nobody really stood out, nobody held his attention. That is until his eyes reached a couch over in the corner, and locked onto a being he decided would be spending a lot more time with him very soon.

Getting another drink and leaving David at the bar, he crossed the room, a little swagger in his step as the music blared around him. He neared the girl and decided she was on her own before walking right over and sitting down beside her, putting on his best 'little boy lost' impersonation.

"Excuse me? Yeah hi… I've uh… lost my communicator, I was just wondering if I could borrow yours?" he asked and she looked up at him, a small smirk forming on her lips. Up close he could tell she wasn't human, at least not entirely, but he couldn't put his finger quite on what the differences were.

"Sure," she said shortly, removing the device from her purse.

He accepted it, careful to brush his fingers against her hands as he did so, funnelling as much raw lust through the brief contact as he could. If Vulcan telepathy was good for one thing, it was getting girls to notice him.

He entered his own number into the device and handed it back to her, she looked at it with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Oh you see, that's for later when you want to give me a call," he said, leaning back and taking a sip of his drink as he held her gaze.

"And why would I want to call you later?" she asked and he smirked.

"Why _wouldn't_ you want to call me later?"

"Because… you seem like a complete and total asshole?" she asked and he grinned.

"Do I? See because I always thought I was pretty awesome."

"Have a good night, kid, don't let your Mom catch you out this late," she laughed, getting to her feet and strutting away, leaving him feeling pretty foolish but trying not to show it.

He noticed David being dragged towards the bathrooms by the girl he was with and decided it was time to immediately up his game. Digging into his pocket he fumbled with the small plastic bag he had there, pulling out a single, tiny white pill. He popped it in his mouth discreetly and swallowed it. Now he was ready.

He spotted a pretty Orion girl at the bar and walked over, sitting in the seat beside her and looking her up and down.

Orion women were not a route he had yet explored, but he'd heard stories about them so he was keen to try and prove if the rumours were true or not.

Luckily, she was much friendlier than the girl who had shot him down a few minutes earlier and it wasn't long before her lithe tongue was flicking over the point of his ear, making his jeans painfully tight as he fought to remain in control.

"Shall we get out of here?" he asked breathlessly and she pulled away.

"Well that depends," she said as an even more beautiful Orion walked over to them.

"Can my friend come too?" she asked, right in his ear.

He made a sound that he wasn't sure he knew he was capable of and stood up; ignoring the way the bulge in his jeans was obvious. There was a brief introduction to the other girl before he had an arm around each of their waists, walking outside to get a cab back to his apartment.

Sitting in the back of the cab with one girl rubbing his thigh, getting steadily higher and higher and other sucking on his neck he sent a text message to his friend, smirking as he did so.

_Christopher: 2 David:1._

* * *

Leo rubbed his temples, trying to get his head to clear. He peeled his shirt off and threw it aside, raising the room temperature before settling on the middle of his bed, sitting with his legs crossed and his back straight, hands on his knees.

He cleared his thoughts, focusing on emptying everything from his mind. Today though, it just wasn't working.

The dull throbbing in his head was becoming unbearable at times, causing him to lose concentration at vital moments. He'd lost count of his steps whilst he was out and had ended up lost, stumbling around until he admitted defeat and called Chris to come and find him and bring him home.

His twin hadn't been happy about being disturbed. He'd been resting after spending the night with two Orion women and despite his protests, had told Leo about it in graphic detail.

_"So… what does it… you know, feel like?" Leo has asked._

_"Sex?"_

_"Yeah... I mean… yeah…" he trailed off._

_"Go find out for yourself! You wouldn't struggle to find someone. You should come out with David and I next time we go," he offered and Leo hesitated. Lately he'd been a lot more curios about sex, and decided that it was something he definitely wanted, it was just a matter of finding the right woman._

_"I want to actually get to know her first though, like go out on a few dates and stuff," Leo had insisted._

_"Yeah yeah, I get it. I can find you someone, no problem, give me a few days. I'll keep the Orion girls for later though, they'd eat you alive, I don't think I'm going to be able to walk properly for a week…"_

Leo flinched as a sharp pain rushed through his head. He knew that after almost a week of headaches it was time to talk to Bones about it.

He stood and fumbled for his communicator, dialling the Doctor at work, knowing that was where he was most likely to find him.

When he didn't get a reply he shoved the device in his pocket and searched for his shirt, making sure it was the right way out before pulling it back on. If he couldn't get Bones on his comm. he'd go down to Starfleet medical to try and find him.

_Seven paces. Door. Fourteen paces, turn left fifteen degrees. Shoes. _

"Chris! If you're here I'm going out," he called out into the apartment.

There was no reply so he assumed his brother had either gone to the gym, or back to bed, and not wanting to interrupt his meditation had left him alone to it.

_Door. Left turn, Ninety-degrees. Twenty five paces. Elevator, last button on the right hand column. Nineteen paces through the lobby of the building, down eight steps to the street. Turn ninety degrees to the right, and walk…_

Leo focused hard. A few times when he reached the end of the block he'd realise that he must have miscounted as he once went over the end of the kerb, and once was almost two steps away from it when he thought he was right by it. His head was hurting more and more as he neared his destination, and he was almost certain he could actually feel his own pulse inside his brain. It wasn't pleasant.

He reached the Doctor's office at last and spoke briefly with the Receptionist who told him to take a seat whilst she went to find Bones.

He sat and waited, relieved when he heard familiar footsteps approaching.

"Hey Leo, what can I do for you?" he asked and Leo got to his feet.

"Hey Bones. I have a headache; I was hoping you could take a look at it."

"What, the drugstore don't sell painkillers now?" he asked gruffly and Leo chuckled.

"You and I both know that I need something a little stronger than I can buy over the counter," he said and Bones nodded knowingly. All three of the Kirk children were affected by both their Vulcan heritage and Khan's blood. They were incredibly strong, and healed very quickly when injured or ill, but the trade off was that they were incredibly tolerant to medications and sedatives.

When Leo had his last heart surgery aged twelve they'd ended up having to use Klingon grade sedative to ensure he didn't wake up halfway through the operation.

"Alright you little troublemaker, go take a seat in my office, I'll be right there," he said and Leo smiled, walking towards where he knew the office door was.

He missed the door slightly and tried to hide his fumble as his shoulder bumped into the frame, curing under his breath he gratefully sat up on the edge of the bio-bed, relieved to have made it at last.

A few moments later he heard the Doctor bustle into the room.

"You're lucky I like you so much, I've got a jam-packed schedule today," he said and Leo obediently lay back as he felt the Doctor's hand on his shoulder.

"Aww. Thanks Bones, you're so sweet," he said and the Doctor sighed.

"You're so much like Jim that it horrifies me," he muttered and Leo smiled again.

After examining him for a few minutes, Bones gave Leo a hypo that almost immediately alleviated the throbbing in his brain, causing him to let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, you're a miracle worker," he said gratefully as he sat upright.

"A Doctor, not a miracle worker," he corrected. He sounded… odd. Strained almost.

"You alright Bones? Everything ok?"

There was a pause.

"Yeah, fine kid. You're dehydrated, drink at least two or three more glasses of water a day and that should help the headaches," he explained quickly.

"Thanks again," Leo said as the Doctor practically threw him out of his office, rambling about his fully booked up day.

The young Kirk twin walked home by himself, his steps measured and counted precisely. He made it back without tripping or getting lost, and only bumped into one person the whole way, and that was right outside the apartment building.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there-"

"Leonard, is it wise to be walking around alone?"

There was only one person who called him by his full name.

"Sa-mekh," Leo greeted, raising one hand in the Ta'al to his Father.

"My son. It is pleasing to see you again."

Leo wanted to say the same, but he really couldn't. Jim had been so torn up over everything that he didn't really know how to act around Spock.

"You're home sooner than I thought," Leo pointed out.

"As I have been informed by both Jim and your brother," Spock responded.

Leo fell silent, he didn't really have much to say to Spock. He felt as though he barely knew him. Growing up he'd always been a voice on a comm. or a guy who'd come home for a few weeks, fuck Jim's emotions all up and then leave again.

But he knew he was half of him, and he needed to at least try and maintain some sort of relationship with him, not matter how distant he was at times.

He was just thinking about inviting Spock inside for a drink when the older man spoke first.

"I must return to Starfleet to resume my debriefing," he said and Leo nodded.

"Sure. Are you leaving again… you know, like, soon?" he asked.

"I have no plans. At this point in time I believe I may be on Earth for the foreseeable future, there are matters here that require my attention," he said flatly.

"Like unbreaking Jim's heart?" Leo asked. He knew it was out of line, but he just had to say it.

"I believe that would be an adequate description," Spock said, he sounded… sad.

Leo allowed Spock to walk him to the elevator before bidding him goodbye, agreeing to meet the following day to spend some time together.

Leo felt uneasy about it, and knew he would check on Jim before he went to bed that night. If Spock was home Jim was bound to be getting himself into a state.

* * *

Jim was in his office, poring over strategic diagrams for a mission to free some slaves from a prison world. He chugged down his coffee, crumpling the disposable cup in his hand and throwing it into the trash under his desk. He ignored the fact there were five other coffee cups already in there, and it was only mid-day.

He'd barely slept. Knowing that Spock was only a few feet away in Leo's room had been agonising. Part of him wanted to drag him into their bed and show him just how much he'd missed him, but another part of him wanted to drag him out of bed by his infuriatingly perfect hair and beat him to a bloody pulp.

"Uncle Jim?" a voice broke into his thoughts. He looked up to see someone he didn't expect to see in his doorway.

"David! Come on in buddy, oh, shit you don't look so good," he said as he noticed how pale the young man was.

"I'm hanging," he confessed and Jim smiled. He remembered those days, hangovers so bad he could barely believe he survived them.

"Out with Chris last night?"

"Oh yeah. I don't even remember how I got home," he said with a sigh, settling into the chair across from Jim's desk.

"So what can I do for you?" Jim asked.

"I… well… it's kinda awkward, I mean, I feel bad," David squirmed.

"What's wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything," Jim pressed.

David had come to see him, so he obviously needed to talk to him badly enough to have come to his office in person.

"It's about Chris. I'm… kinda worried about him," David said and Jim leaned back in his chair a little bit.

"Go on," he prompted.

David was silent for a few moments before he opened his mouth again.

"I… well…last night I saw him… talking to this guy, I don't know who he was, but he was talkin' to him and Chris gave him a handful of money, and the guy gave him… I don't know, it looked like pills," he said and Jim felt his heart skip a beat.

_Drugs._

"I mean, you can't tell him I told you! He'll kill me! It might have been innocent, but the guy… he didn't look so innocent. I'm only tellin' you because I worry he might get hurt or somethin', I don't want anything to happen to him," he added quickly. Jim nodded, his face stony.

"Thank you for telling me. I mean really, that must have taken a lot of guts to walk in here and tell me that, I appreciate it," Jim said gratefully and David nodded, looking away.

He was the perfect mixture of his two parents, Bones' dark hair and Carol's blue eyes, his face a mixture of them both. Jim always joked that he was much better looking than Bones was.

"Did he seem like he was on anything when you were out last night?" Jim asked and David shook his head.

"No, he seemed pretty normal. I never saw him take anythin' out of his pocket or take any pills… but I wasn't with him the entire time," he said and Jim nodded.

"Yeah, ok, I'm glad you told me," Jim said.

His mind was reeling. He thought he'd raised his kids better than that, better than to be using drugs.

Jim rose from his desk and David looked alarmed.

"You aren't going to tell him I was here are you?" he asked and Jim shook his head.

"No, I'm not, of course not. I'm not going to confront him, don't worry," Jim said, trying to put David's mind at rest, he was obviously conflicted about having told him.

David stood up and scampered from Jim's office with a mumbled goodbye, leaving Jim standing at his desk with his mind all over the place.

He didn't think Chris was the type to use drugs. Ever.

Could he have misjudged his own son so much? Did he really know him as well as he thought he did?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**Thank you for all the reviews, faves, follows and views so far! This chapter causes things to take a bit of a turn... as I said in my last A/N, the story is starting to pick up pace. Stay with me though, I promise you won't be disappointed in the end :)**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

***One week later***

The word she had become so sick of hearing, so fed up of hearing was the word _prodigy._ It had been following her from an early age, and she had been hoping it would have died down a bit by this point. Apparently being a highly qualified surgeon at the age of twenty-one was something quite unusual.

As far as she was concerned, she worked to the same standard as any other doctor who shared the same level of qualification, she was just a little younger. _A lot younger…_

This shift had been particularly difficult, and even with her 'legendary' surgical skills, there had been one patient she had been unable to save, a young man who had been in a hover-bike accident. The head trauma had been far too severe, really he'd never stood a chance, but she tried anyway, for almost two hours, until finally reaching the conclusion that the damage was irreparable.

Forcing her emotions into their little Vulcan box in the corner of her brain, she'd carried on working, another patient needed her, they always did.

At the end of her shift she did not head home, instead to the research labs where she was coming to the end of a lengthy and highly experimental trial.

For the past four years she had been working on something that she was keeping a closely guarded secret, but she felt finally ready to reveal it, as her confidence that it could be successful had reached a peak based on recent positive results.

She picked up the two small white mice from their container. They had been the first trial. They were both doing well and had been for months.

The Tribbles had been more tricky, being larger and more complex than a mouse, however she had managed to achieve a successful result after two attempts. She didn't feel so guilty about the unfortunate demise of the first pair of Tribbles due to the fact that the current pair were breeding at a somewhat alarming rate and she thought there was at least one extra new addition each time she checked on them.

The final test subjects had been a pair of small monkeys, and these were the easiest, which relieved her as their brains were the most similar to that of a human.

Through extremely precise use of a transporter device, she had removed the Occipital lobe of the brain from one monkey when they were young, leaving the specimen blind in the same way her younger brother was blind.

Once the two subjects reached maturity she was able to clone the Occipital lobe of the other monkey and successfully transplant it into it's counterpart. Their vision became functional around two weeks after the surgery, and from her best assessment was now at almost eighty-percent functionality after having spent a few more weeks healing and grafting successfully into the brain. She anticipated that within three to six more weeks, their vision would be perfect.

Christopher and Leo would make the ideal subjects as genetically identical twins. She was nervous though. Not only were the risks of both surgeries high, the risk of it not working was higher. She calculated around a sixty percent chance of failure, or at least partial failure, but she felt it was time to reveal her findings, to offer Leo the opportunity. She felt confident that she had found a solution, should he choose to accept it.

She gathered up her data PADD containing her research findings to take with her to San Francisco to show to Leonard McCoy. She would need his assistance if this was going to be a success.

Returning home to her apartment briefly to change into casual clothes, she then boarded a shuttle to San Francisco. Emily McCoy was returning home to stay for the first time in years and Seren had booked a weekend of vacation time to spend a few days with her family, having learnt that Spock was finally back on Earth.

Jim had seemed tense when he told her, and Seren had pried maybe a little too far. Jim had explained that Spock was staying at the house, though he was sleeping in Leo's room, and that they'd talked everything through. Years of things that should have been said, finally all out in the open. Jim felt relieved, but not particularly comforted. Now he had the ball in his court, Spock had told him that he knew he had no right to expect forgiveness for his actions. Jim had told him he'd think about it.

The shuttle ride was over quickly and she made her way to the McCoy family home in the outskirts of the city, allowing herself a small smile at the 'welcome home' banner draped over the door as she pressed the bell.

"Seren! So glad you could make it, come in," said Carol as she answered the door.

"Thank you Carol, it's good to see you," she said politely as she entered the house.

There were quite a lot of people there, some she just barely recognised, others she knew well.

She noticed right away that Jim and Spock were as far from each other as physically possible whilst staying in the same room.

She headed for Spock first, having not seen him for over a year. He looked no different, apart from maybe a dozen more strands of gray starting to fleck his dark black hair.

"Seren," he said with a small smile as she approached.

"Father," she said, leaning in to hug him. He awkwardly hugged her loosely in return.

"I am relieved that you have returned safely," she said as she let go of him and stepped back.

"As am I. Jim tells me you have remained living in Chicago?

"I have. It was the logical option," she said, immediately regretting her choice of words. Though she listened to her Vulcan side, perhaps moreso than even Leo did, she did not believe logic should govern everything.

"If you are… happy, then I am certain you are making the correct decision," he said. She nodded.

It was so odd seeing him again, especially when other than that tiny flicker of a smile, he didn't seem overly thrilled about it.

Their awkward conversation was cut off by loud cheering as Emily was led into the room by her father. Seren blinked, the young woman now almost unrecognisable from when they had been children.

Emily had always been something of an awkward child. She'd been very skinny and tall, looking almost stretched, her blonde hair always hanging in two plaits on either side of her head. She'd worn braces on her teeth the last time Seren had seen her in person at age thirteen, and she'd looked every bit as awkward as ever, but now she'd truly blossomed.

Her hair was long, hanging in soft curls around her shoulders and she had dimples in her faintly-freckled cheeks as she grinned at the room of people, her hazel eyes shining. She had certainly inherited her mother's enviable curves, and Seren felt slightly inadequate in comparison as she let her eyes take in her perfect figure.

"Oh my gosh! Thank you all so much!" she exclaimed at the room full of people all there to see her.

Even her voice sounded like beautiful music, a bright tone to it. Seren spotted her two brothers across the room near Jim, Christopher's jaw looking like he was struggling to keep it from dropping, Leo completely oblivious to just how _beautiful_ Emily had grown up to be.

"Alright everybody, break out the drink, let's get started!" Bones ordered loudly.

"Hear hear!" Interjected Scotty from across the room. Uhura slapped his chest playfully and he grinned, kissing her on the cheek. Their fourteen year old daughter Molly was standing with them, looking like she'd rather be anywhere than there.

Seren took the opportunity to escape to the kitchen to get herself a drink, making a detour to say hello to David and Joanna McCoy on the way. She'd wait to say hello to Emily later as she was currently being swamped by people.

* * *

Several hours later and the party was dying down.

Leo was sitting on the couch listening with mild interest to Seren and Bones talking about experimental interspecies organ transplantation when the cushions dipped beside him.

"You ready to leave? I can give you a ride home," Jim offered. Leo sighed a little but then nodded. He hadn't spoken to Emily, she'd been really busy talking to everyone else, and he guessed that she'd forgotten about him.

"Yeah sure," he said, heaving himself to his feet and straightening his shirt.

"You want hand?" Jim offered and Leo reluctantly accepted, putting his hand on his father's shoulder so he could be led through the room that had become a complete hazard for Leo with all the people scattered around.

"Leo! Don't tell me you're leaving already?!" a voice drifted over to him through the room and he turned towards the source of it.

"Oh, so you _do_ remember I exist," he said in a light, playful tone.

"'Course I do! Wow, look at you all grown up!" Emily grinned. Leo shifted awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. Jim knew he had no real confidence and hid behind a lot of humour and self-deprecating comments; and not knowing how he looked wasn't helping with that.

Before anyone could say anything Leo froze to the spot as Emily wrapped her arms around him in a friendly hug.

_Oh my god. Her hair is touching my face. It smells incredible and it's so soft. Her boobs are touching me. Her actual BOOBS. Holy shit. Keep it cool. Keep. Cool. But her arms are actually around me…_

"Leo, are you alright?" she asked and he opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, just nodding in response.

She didn't seem in any hurry to let go and he relaxed a little bit, wrapping his arms around her in return. She was the perfect height, a few inches shorter than him so her chin could rest on his shoulder.

He felt almost heartbroken when she pulled away, the loss of her warm body pressed against his leaving him feeling… empty.

"So how have you been?" she asked.

"Hey, I'm going to get out of here buddy, here's cab fare. Good to see you Emily," said Jim with a knowing smile as he tucked a couple of credits in Leo's jeans pocket for him.

"I don't need your money," Leo laughed, removing the credits and holding them out for Jim to take back.

"Sure you do," Jim said, pushing his hand away.

"Bye Uncle Jim! I'll be holding you to that offer of dinner next week!" Emily called after him as he walked down the driveway. Leo felt lost now that Jim wasn't beside him.

"So… how have you been?" she asked again and he cleared his throat.

"Uh… good, y'know, just studying and everything. What about you? How's the music business?" he asked and she smiled at his awkwardness.

"Shall we go and sit down?" she offered and he felt a blush creep into his cheeks. He didn't want to have to walk back through the crowded room of people.

"I uh… I should probably go…" he said lamely and she laughed.

"You are every bit as sweet as I remember you being, I wish I'd had more time to keep in contact with you and Chris," she said as she grabbed his hand and started to drag him along. He stumbled as he tried to follow wherever she was leading him, relaxing when he heard the door slide open and felt the cool night air rush up to greet him.

They were going to sit on the bench on the porch. He was relieved that at least he knew the environment.

"Chris has turned into such an asshole the last few months," Leo sighed and Emily giggled.

"Yeah. This billboard went up right near my college in London of him flaunting his ass in tighty-whiteys. I almost didn't recognise him all grown up at first but then I saw the pointy-ears and I'd know those ears anywhere," she said and Leo sighed, bringing his hand up to cover half of his embarrassed face as Emily laughed.

"It doesn't seem to hold him back though, not if the sounds I hear coming from his room at night are anything to go by," Leo said, rolling his eyes and making Emily giggle again.

He immediately decided it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

"He's a bit of a whore isn't he?" she said and Leo nodded. Her accent was strange… a bit of British, a bit of Southern USA and a bit of general North America. It was cute the way she'd almost fumble over some words.

"Oh yeah. A complete nightmare to live with. I might actually move back home for a while, he's driving me crazy," Leo said before quickly changing the subject. "So are you going to be living here now you're back?" he asked and she nodded, feeling foolish as she remembered he of course couldn't see her nodding.

"Yeah. I am, for a while at least, until I get everything figured out," she said and he leaned back slightly on the bench, causing it to creak a bit under his weight. She looked over him more closely. He certainly worked out, the way his well worn t-shirt was too tight across his chest and shoulders told her that much.

"I mean my boyfriend and I might be getting a place, but I don't really know just yet," she said and Leo felt his heart sink.

_Boyfriend. Great. Should have acted on this stupid crush ten years ago. Nice job you big fucking idiot._

"That sounds cool," he said and she seemed to tense.

"I'm not sure. He's in the Marines, so could leave at any time… I don't like the idea of living on my own," she said and Leo felt his heart sink even further.

_A military boyfriend who could probably kill me with one finger! Even better._

"He met Bones yet?" Leo asked with a snigger.

"Are you serious? The only time he'll meet any boyfriend I ever have is when he gives me away to them at my wedding! He'll kill any man that gets near me, so yeah, keep it a secret," she said and he put on his best fake smile. He'd at least be her friend, even if he couldn't be more.

"Sure, I can do that," he said, trying to hide his twitch as his head throbbed painfully. Over the last seven days the pain had changed from a steady ache into sudden, sharp jolts of searing pain that sometimes went right down his spine.

"Are you alright?" she asked and he nodded quickly.

"Yeah, I'm good, why wouldn't I be?" he asked defensively.

"I don't know, you look tired and kind of pale," she said and he silently cursed himself for not being able to tell when he was tired looking.

"I'm kind of tired," he admitted.

"It's pretty late. I think Chris and David are heading into the city if you wanted to share their cab?" she offered and he nodded quickly.

"I'm sorry I'm kinda… quiet today, I can meet you next week for… I don't know, coffee or something? When I'm less tired, and you're less… busy," he said, trailing off awkwardly.

"That'd be good," she said warmly and he did his best to suppress the somersault he wanted to do. He'd take being her friend happily, then maybe when army-boy went off on deployment somewhere he could be her shoulder to cry on…

"Great! Awesome, I… yeah… let me know when and stuff, I'll make sure I'm not doing anything else," he said. She didn't need to know that he wouldn't be doing anything else anyway.

Chris was acting a little weird. He and David had spent a couple of hours up in his room with the door closed and had both emerged acting slightly hyperactive and reckless. Leo got in the cab with them regardless.

As soon as he got out he knew right away that he wasn't outside the apartment.

"Tonight, little brother, I'm getting you laid whether you like it or not," Chris said and Leo tensed as his twin put his hands on his shoulders and pushed him forwards towards a club with a heavy bassline pouring out of the open door.

"Now now Leo, don't fight us, we'll get you what you want," David said as he helped Chris shove him towards the door.

Leo stopped fighting them, he didn't have the strength to in his aching body.

He allowed himself to be dragged into the strange place, counting twelve steps down into the underground room. A shot glass was pushed into his hands a moment later and he threw it back, vaguely interested in the sweet taste and slight burn as the liquid went down his throat.

He'd never been drunk before, much to Chris's annoyance. Leo couldn't allow himself to get intoxicated, ever. He needed to maintain his concentration as without it, he'd lose track of where he was and where other things were. Important things that hurt to walk into, like walls and doors and furniture.

But tonight he didn't care. He'd spent years waiting for the day Emily McCoy would walk back into his life after having been a voice on an occasional comm. for such a long time, and she had a boyfriend. A _boyfriend._

"Another?" Chris offered and Leo nodded, accepting the now larger glass and starting to force the liquid down as quickly as it would go.

"Oh damn, he drinks like you," David laughed and pressed another full glass into Leo's hands.

"Well keep him going, I'm going to go find him a woman," Chris said determinedly, leaving Leo and David at the bar as he went on the prowl.

* * *

Leonard McCoy blinked hard as he went over the image for what must have been the thousandth time that week. He just couldn't wrap his head around it, couldn't and _wouldn't_ accept it.

He was grateful for the knock at his office door and let in his visitor, who he'd been expecting but not for another thirty minutes.

"You're early," he said.

"I was excited," said Seren as she settled into the seat on the other side of his desk, a PADD clutched in her hands.

"You've figured it out, haven't you? A way to fix him," Bones said. He could tell just by looking at her, by the way although her face was stubbornly neutral, her blue eyes were practically grinning.

"Yes," she responded simply, handing over the PADD.

Bones read the entire document thoroughly. It took him almost twenty minutes, she waited patiently and silently, watching the way his face would change slightly, sometimes an eyebrow would raise, sometimes his lips would press together.

"The risks are… significant," he said and she nodded. "But I think it's completely possible. I think it's worth trying."

"I am aware and I agree."

"But… shit. Seren, I have to tell somebody. I have to tell him and I just can't." Bones sighed deeply and ran his hands through his hair.

"What? What can't you tell him?" she asked, confused.

"Leo was in here last week with a headache. I took a look at him and… I… well. See for yourself," he said as he pulled up the scan results again on his PADD, handing it over the desk to her.

She read it, eyes darting back and fore rapidly, widening slightly as she reached the end of the report and the attached images.

"How… how long have you known?" she whispered.

"That scan was six days ago," he said, his voice sounded… hollow.

"Oh god… he's… he's got no chance," she said, shaking her head as her blue eyes brimmed with tears.

"About eight percent, actually," McCoy corrected. "And that's if we start treatment within the next two weeks. I've been trying to work up the nerve to tell Jim, but with everything going on with Spock it's been the last thing he needed."

"Don't tell Jim. We'll only tell Leo, then he can decide if he wants Jim to know or not," Seren said. Her voice was slightly higher than usual as she let the first few tears escape her eyes.

The last time she'd cried she had been six years old. Jim and Spock had sat the three of them down and explained that the reason Jim had been so ill was because they'd tried to have another baby and something had gone wrong, and there wouldn't be a little brother or sister for them.

"Darlin', c'mere," said Bones, getting to his feet and walking around the desk.

He held her close as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Between the two of us, we'll find a way to get him better. He's come through so much, I'm sure he can-"

"Do you not see it?! The size of… it's a miracle he can still even walk around and function and… god. He's going to die, isn't he?" she whispered. Bones pulled back enough for her to see his face was also wet with tears he couldn't hold back.

"He might. But I know him, he'll fight it until the very end, he won't give up and roll over and let it win, he's got the strength in him to fight and to fight well," he said firmly and Seren felt herself nod.

She snatched up the PADD again, her eyes locking onto the scan image of her younger brother's brain, focusing on the large white mass that shouldn't be there.

The cancer.

The tumour that was killing him. Silent until this point where the pressure on his brain was causing him enough discomfort to notice it.

"We… need to tell him," she said quietly and Bones nodded, wiping his face on the back of his hand.

"We can't keep this from Jim, or Christopher either, or even Spock. They all have a right to know," he said and she swallowed the lump in her throat.

_They needed to know because he wouldn't last long._

"I'll call everyone, tell them to get down here as soon as they can," she said quietly.

Her emotions were entirely out of her control as tears streamed silently down her face.

Her little brother, who'd fought through being born three months early, with part of his brain missing, a hole in his heart, further complications and infections and a heart rhythm problem in his early teens. Her little brother who was the most genuinely wonderful, positive person she knew, who never let anything stand in his way, who shone so bright with his infectious smile and loveable, cheeky nature.

And she could lose him.

They could all lose him.

* * *

**A/N**

**A few people had guessed in the reviews that I was heading in this general direction, well, you were right. I'm evil. I know. I'm sorry. Prepare for bucketloads of angst, but as I said before, please stay with me, this story wont be ALL angst.**

**What do we all think is going to happen? (I'm always curious to see who can read my mind haha)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

**Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter, and thanks for staying with me through the direction I'm taking the story in. A bit of a patchy chapter here, but things are moving forward as I want them to. Sorry for being a little slow with updates, my real life is just EATING my time at the moment. I'm hoping to continue with my current rate of two chapters a week. As always, reviews are much appreciated and I'll have the next chapter out ASAP :)**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

It was moments like this that Leonard McCoy wished he'd chosen a different career path.

He looked at his best friend, blue eyes brimming with tears that he was struggling to contain, Spock beside him looking pale and shocked. Leo sitting between them looked as if they had just been having a casual conversation about nothing in particular.

"You understand what I'm saying, right?" McCoy asked gently.

"Yeah, sure. When are you cracking my head open to get a look at this thing?" he asked casually and Jim took a sharp inhale of breath, quickly wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"Uh… you'll need to do a full six week course of chemo. We're going to try and shrink it first, with it being the size it is, it's too risky to go right ahead, we could do more harm than good. Are you ok, kid? Do you want to talk to… I don't know, a counsellor or something?" he offered and Leo shrugged.

"Don't see why I'd want to waste time doing that. When's chemo starting?" he asked.

Jim looked stunned.

"Well… tomorrow if you want to," Bones said after a small pause.

"Yeah I'm not doing anything; that sounds fine."

Everyone was silent. Jim sniffled and Bones looked away from him, he looked away from all of them.

"Will I have to stay here overnight?" Leo asked and Bones shook his head.

"Not if you don't want to. I can arrange for you to go home afterwards. You'll need someone there to look after you though, it's probably going to make you really sick," he said and Leo nodded in acceptance.

"How long of a recovery time are you predicting? I mean am I going to make it back to school for spring term?"

Bones sighed slightly. The kid was in denial.

"Sure, kid. I'll have you all patched up in time for January," he said and it was Spock's turn to take a deep breath.

"And if all treatment fails, how long will I have… you know, left?" he asked and Bones took a deep breath.

"Based on the current scans… the estimated rate of growth… I don't know. Three to six months. You're doing the right thing to go ahead with the treatment, as hard as it's going to be, it's not incurable, it's not terminal. Not at this stage." He'd already gone over the slim odds of full recovery.

"Eight percent huh? Sounds reasonable," Leo said brightly with a lopsided smile.

"Stop it," Jim whispered, getting to his feet.

"You… are you not hearing this? You could die, Leo. This is your _life_ we're talking about here, it isn't a game or a joke!" Jim said and Leo sank down into his chair a little bit.

"Sorry, Dad. I guess I don't want to let this change how I'm going to be. I'm going to deal with it in the same way I've always dealt with my problems, with a shrug and a smile and a 'well shit, life has dealt me a bad hand, but there's gonna be a way around it somehow'… I hope you can understand that. That's how I'm going to cope. And I'm not going to tell anybody either, this stays between us. Not even Chris. I'll block our bond, we barely use it anyway, but he can't know. I don't need him stressing over it."

Jim put his hand on his son's shoulder and smiled slightly.

"Wish I had your outlook," he said quietly.

Spock stood silently and left the room.

"You should go after him, I'm fine here. I had a few questions about chemo and stuff too," Leo prompted and Jim nodded, almost tripping over the chair in his haste to follow Spock into the corridor outside Bones' office.

"Spock," Jim said as he saw him standing a few feet down the corridor, his back turned. Jim approached him slowly, putting one hand on his shoulder and turning him around to face him.

"How can he remain so calm?" Spock asked quietly.

Jim shook his head.

"I don't know, Spock, I really don't," he said just as quietly.

Before he really knew what he was doing he had wrapped Spock in his arms, his face buried in his shoulder, holding him tightly. Spock hugged him back so tightly he was certain his ribs would be sore all day. He didn't care.

"Did you hear that they might be able to make me _see?!"_ burst Leo's excited voice from the door of Bones' office.

"They're having a moment kid," Bones pointed out and Jim and Spock reluctantly let go of each other.

"How?" Jim asked quickly. This certainly lifted the terrible news slightly.

"Seren has been doing years of research and she thinks she can clone the part of Christopher's brain that I don't have, and then put it in my head. How awesome would that be?" he said with a grin.

Jim felt like his heart was breaking clean in two. _How could he still be smiling at a time like this? After finding out he was probably going to die?_

"Pretty awesome," he said with a small smile.

"We just need to get Chris to agree to donate some cells and we can go ahead with it!"

"Will his treatment affect this procedure Doctor?" Spock asked and Bones shrugged.

"It's worth a try," Bones said and Leo grinned wider.

"See, I might die but at least I can see all your ugly faces first!"

Jim took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second.

"Too soon?" Leo asked at the silence following his comment.

"Much," said Spock shortly.

The three of them left the hospital together. Leo decided to go home with them, rather than to the apartment. Chris had partied hard last night and although Leo had got well on his way to being drunk, he'd snuck off halfway through the night and had left him and David in the bar and got a cab home alone.

"I'll go up to my room so you guys can talk about me in peace," Leo said as they arrived home. Jim couldn't speak. His hands were shaking. He felt sick to his stomach.

"Just… come here," he mumbled, grabbing his son and hugging him tightly.

"Don't cry," said Leo as he felt Jim's warm tears soaking into the shoulder of his shirt.

"I'm not going anywhere, not if I can help it," he said defiantly, rubbing Jim's back and passing him over to Spock who took over the hugging. Leo was relieved, maybe they were getting somewhere in fixing their relationship?

"Hey, I promise you, I'll be fine. Do you know where Seren is? I need to ask her about this sight thing, and get her to explain it to Chris so we can get started on it," he said.

"She is with Joanna and Emily, I believe they are spending the day together," said Spock.

"Oh. Well I'll give her a call later," he said, turning and walking carefully up to his room. His bed smelled like Spock had been sleeping in it.

_Maybe they haven't got so far with fixing things yet_… he thought as he settled under the covers. Bones had advised him to get well rested ready for the beginning of his treatment, and he was going to follow the Doctors orders.

* * *

"I can't lose him Spock," Jim whispered as Spock held him, one hand gently stroking the back of his head, the other settled on his lower back.

"Have faith in his strength," Spock said. He wasn't convinced even himself that Leo could win this fight, though he knew he would try as hard as he possibly could.

"I do have faith in him, but I mean… the odds are pretty bad."

_I am aware, but have faith. He has always excelled at beating the odds when they are not in his favour._

Jim clung to him tighter as he used their bond to communicate for the first time in months.

"You are tired, Jim, perhaps rest would be advisable at this time?" Spock suggested and Jim looked up at him with red eyes from crying.

"Yeah I could really use a nap," he admitted, looking away momentarily.

"I will accompany you as it is clear you do not wish to be alone at this time. If that is acceptable to you?" Spock asked and Jim sighed.

They'd talked everything through. From the beginning to the end. Every fight, every unresolved issue. Spock had always felt secure enough in their marriage that he didn't think it would be a problem for him to spend long periods of time away from his family, but Jim had abandonment issues from his Mother leaving him as a child, and Spock had unintentionally made these issues much worse.

After the miscarriage Jim had become distant. He was heartbroken, that much was obvious, and he mourned for a long time, taking a full three months off work on medical grounds. He spent hours in therapy as Spock was away, and he didn't want to trouble Bones with his problems all the time. When Spock returned all Jim could think about was how many days it would be until he would have been due to have their fourth child.

The day came and went. Spock refused to acknowledge it, and Jim had slept on Bones' couch that night after hacking his way into the house, Joanna finding him there after sneaking downstairs for a midnight snack and covering him over with a blanket.

They both agreed that it was by failing to talk about this issue that the cracks had started to form. They lost faith in each other and their ability to work as a team, maybe because they hadn't done so in so long. Jim wanted so desperately to make everything work, but he was hurting and scared of giving Spock any opportunity to hurt him any more than he had already done.

"I'd like that," Jim heard himself mumble. Spock took his hand gently and led him to their bedroom. Jim allowed him to. He also allowed him to carefully remove his clothing piece by piece until all that remained were his black boxers.

Jim suddenly felt very self-conscious under Spock's gaze as he pushed him gently so he fell onto the soft mattress.

Spock rid himself of his own clothing and climbed into the bed next to Jim. Just as Jim was about to speak, to tell him he didn't want any form of sexual contact Spock turned him onto his side and settled behind him, holding him close, one hand finding his and lacing their fingers together.

Jim felt only comfort being passed through the bond, there was no sexual advance behind the touch. He understood that ridding them of most of their clothes was to allow maximum skin to skin contact.

"Sleep, T'hy'la," Spock soothed and Jim closed his eyes.

"Don't leave me again," Jim mumbled with his eyes closed.

"Never," Spock said sincerely, placing a kiss on the back of Jim's neck and holding him safely in his arms until exhaustion took him.

Jim's short nap turned into him sleeping right through until morning, Spock never left him, and the times when he would stir or mumble in his sleep he was there to gently smooth his hair and kiss his neck, lulling him back to sleep until the cold morning light pierced through the curtains.

In a few hours Leo would begin his treatment, and there would be no going back.

* * *

"There we go, raise your right hand a little more – PERFECT! Stay right there."

Chris held his pose as the camera clicked, his right hand curled around the throat of the pretty young girl standing in front of him, his teeth tugging at her earlobe, eyes closed. He'd put no pressure on her neck, but he could feel her tense, scared even.

He let go as soon as he was given the order and the girl flounced off, pulling on a large sweatshirt to keep warm between sets of images.

"Right. Next we're thinking we'll get you on the front of the car and Jessie will-"

Christopher zoned out as the photographer spoke. Just nodded brainlessly along with whatever he wanted.

"You're ok with being naked?"

Chris nodded.

"You ever done nude before?"

Chris shook his head and the director looked him up and down. He was only wearing a pair of leather pants so tight that they left little to the imagination.

"Well I don't think you'll have a problem. In your own time," the photographer said and Chris didn't hesitate in stripping off completely, smirking at the way the two female models eyes widened slightly.

"Well?" Christopher asked, raising his arms in a sort of shrug. The photographer looked like he'd just been told he'd won the lottery.

"You ever thought about porn, kid? You're twenty right?"

Chris paused for a moment. _Jim would be disappointed. So, so disappointed._

"Never really thought about it," he dismissed. "Where do you need me to stand?" he asked, trying to move the conversation onwards.

"Over there, the girls are going to stand in a way that'll mean you'll be able to tell you're naked, but you wont really see anything in the shots. It'll be a shame, but that's what we've been told to do today. I'll pass your number on to my contact, because he'll _definitely_ be wanting to talk to you."

Christopher just nodded again and did as he was told. All he wanted was money in his bank account, and he was getting kind of sick of this particular photographer. He was tired, still getting over partying hard after welcoming Emily home.

The rest of the shoot passed relatively quickly and before long he was pulling his clothes back on, getting on his hover-bike and speeding towards home.

"Leo, you here?" he called as he walked through the door. He was met with silence and ran a hand through his hair, sighing. He reached out for his twin through their bond but was met with… nothing. Blankness. It had been blocked from the other side.

Leo and Christopher had always shared a strong mental connection. It had stemmed from being twins, developing together from an embryonic level, their brains so close they'd become bonded together so tightly it was similar to the bond shared by Jim and Spock.

_Leo?_

Christopher kicked off his shoes and walked through the living room towards his bedroom, wanting to get some sleep. He paused as he noticed some of his things weren't where he had left them.

"Take a seat, Christopher," came a voice from the couch. He turned quickly, eyes locking onto Jim who was sitting there staring at him.

"What's going on?" Chris asked as he cautiously walked over.

"Just… sit down," Jim sighed and Chris obeyed, sitting on the other couch opposite him.

"Fun photoshoot? You've got lipstick on your ear," Jim pointed out and Chris reached up one hand to wipe it off, not taking his eyes off his father.

"Yeah it was… good. What's wrong, you look like something is wrong," he asked suspiciously.

Jim didn't look right. At all. He looked tired, even by his standards, and his eyes were puffy and red as if he'd been… crying.

"Oh god. Are you getting a divorce? Is it over? Is that it?" he asked quickly and Jim shook his head.

"There are two reasons I'm here. The first one, is these," Jim said, lifting his left hand for Chris to see. Clasped between his thumb and forefinger was a small, clear bag containing white pills.

Christopher swallowed hard. _Fuck. Jim had searched his room._

"Had a feeling something was going on. The other night, your eyes weren't quite… focusing. You seemed a little too enthusiastic about everything. Seems I was right to be suspicious," Jim said. The disappointment on his face was clear.

"You had no right to come in here and rummage my room and-"

"Looks like I needed to though, huh?" Jim interrupted calmly.

Christopher was quiet as Jim's blue eyes bored into him.

"Why?" he asked quietly.

Chris shrugged.

"I don't know. Drink doesn't affect me like everyone else. I can't get… enough from it. It started as a bit of fun, and now it's just for… I don't know, comfort. I feel better, with them," he stammered.

"What are they?" Jim asked and Chris shook his head.

"You can tell me, or I can get them analysed, it's entirely up to you."

Chris leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes.

"Diazepam," Chris said quietly. Jim's face screwed up.

"Sleeping pills. You get high off sleeping pills? What are you stupid or something? Jesus. I thought it was… I don't know, ecstasy or something, but really, you're playing with something people use to _kill_ themselves?!"

"I had… a freakout. A few months back. I got drunk, and I had a freakout. I saw a doctor about it, he told me about the medication but that it'd go on my record if he prescribed it. I didn't want that, so I found a different source," he explained as Jim stared at him incredulously.

"That is the dumbest thing you've ever… these could be _anything_! Whoever you're getting them from could lie, you could be putting yourself in danger and… _what_ did you freak out over?!" Jim demanded and Chris flinched. He hated it when Jim yelled. He didn't do it often, but when he did it was like he really meant it.

"I… honestly don't know. One minute I was fine, I was with a girl actually, but then my whole body started to feel… wrong. I don't know how to describe it. I was overheating, I couldn't breathe, my heart was pounding… every molecule of my body was telling me to… run or fight or… I don't even know. It was horrible. I didn't want it happening again."

Jim stared at him before moving to sit beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"God, I'm relieved. I was worried you were some kind of junkie," he sighed and Christopher smiled a little.

"No." Christopher hesitated. Part of him wanted to tell Jim he was getting in over his head. That the fun of rebellion with the modelling work had worn off. That he was sorry for being a pain in the ass. That he knew however hard he tried to provoke him, Spock wouldn't react and he knew it. But he didn't, he kept quiet and carefully studied Jim's face.

"You'll stop though, right? Or at least do everything legitimately?" Jim said and Chris nodded.

"Good. Now the second thing. Uh. Shit. Could you come with me? Home for a bit? We need to all be together for this," Jim said and Chris felt uneasy.

"Yeah, let me get a jacket," he said, getting to his feet.

He could feel something was wrong, he could sense it.

_Leo, what's going on? Is something wrong?_

His twin ignored him, the bond blocked from his end and leaving Chris feeling more and more nervous.

* * *

"You want to put part of my brain in Leo's brain?" Chris asked and Seren nodded.

"A clone of it," she corrected.

"And that'll fix him, make him see?"

"It could, there is a chance it will work, however as I have explained there are also considerable odds of failure."

Everyone was looking at him expectantly and he nodded.

"Yeah. I'll do it. You can take whatever you need from me," he nodded and Leo smiled.

"I owe you one," he said.

"We'll see if it works first," he said and Seren nodded. Spock watched them all carefully. Jim was staring at the floor.

"Is there… something else going on?" Christopher asked suspiciously.

"No. Nothing. Just that. I uh… I'm going to sleep here tonight though, if that's alright?" Leo said cautiously. He looked off, a little pale and peaky, like he maybe had a fever or something.

"You sleep where you want to sleep, I'm not going to force you to come back to the apartment," he said, standing up to leave and fumbling in his pocket for his keys.

"I wish you'd wear a helmet when you ride that damn thing you know," Jim sighed as he saw him out.

"Helmets are for losers," he smirked as he swung one leg over the bike.

"I'm sure the patient I lost last week in a bike accident would argue otherwise," Seren pointed out.

Christopher hesitated and then sighed, opening the compartment and pulling out the helmet he hadn't worn for months, jamming it on his head roughly.

"Happy?"

"Very. You need to keep that brain of your protected now remember?" Seren said with a small smile. Spock just stood in the doorway watching them.

"I'll see you tomorrow so you can steal part of my brain then," he said. He wasn't scared for the surgery. Not really. He knew it wouldn't be much, Leo's half would be much worse. They could take what they needed from him in donor cells through a tiny hole, but Leo's skull would have to be opened to allow them to introduce the cloned section. Chris shuddered slightly at the thought.

"Indeed," she nodded. Jim offered a small wave as he started walking back up to the house.

Christopher was still suspicious that there was something else going on as he revved the bike and then sped off into the faint orange glow of the setting sun.

* * *

It was several more hours until Seren heard the faint sound of retching coming from the bathroom.

Jim and Spock had gone to bed an hour or so before, whether it was to sleep or not she didn't really want to know.

"Leo?" she asked gently as she knocked the bathroom door.

The door opened a moment later. Her younger brother was sweaty and pale, but hadn't actually vomited. Yet.

"I don't feel so good," he mumbled as she took his hand and led him back down the hallway to his room.

"I know," she soothed as she helped him into the bed, one hand gently stroking his drenched hair.

"You throw up if you need to, don't worry about me seeing or anything, I see worse things," she said and he nodded.

"I tried, I just… can't. I don't know. My body won't let me," he sighed.

She kept hold of his one hand and he held it back tightly.

"Can you hand me my glass of water?" he asked in a whisper. She squeezed his hand reassuringly and handed him the glass, watching as his hand shook as he raised it to his lips and took a small sip.

"Everything tastes like metal," he said with a grimace, handing the glass back.

"I know," she mumbled, gently applying pressure to his shoulder to encourage him to lay down. He did and she pulled the blankets up around him.

"Don't leave me," he whispered after a few minutes of silence.

"I'll be right here," she said with a sad smile, bringing one hand up to push his hair back off his forehead.

"It's going to get worse isn't it?" he asked after a few more minutes.

"Leo… I don't want-"

"I know it is," he cut her off and she sighed.

"It is. Focus on something in the future. What's the first thing you're going to do after you successfully finish your treatment?"

He thought for a moment before smiling.

"I'm going to go into space, to see all the things Jim talks about, because by then I'll be able to see," he said determinedly.

"And then I'm going to come home a man, and tell the girl I've been crushing on for the better part of fifteen years that I'm completely in love with her," he admitted and Seren allowed herself a small chuckle.

"And if the fact she already has a boyfriend comes in the way of that?"

"Then I'll hog-tie him and lock him in the basement," he grinned and Seren laughed.

"I'll help," she smiled, giving his hair one last affectionate ruffle up before leaving him alone to get some much-needed sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**

**Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews, the follows and the faves :) I'm kind of overwhelmed but it's a lovely feeling!**

**I'm starting to break the story into little threads, all their mini-stories combining into one... following everyone separately but together at the same time, if that makes sense? Bleh. I don't know. I'm sleepy, it's silly o'clock and I have work in 4 hours... *shoots self in face* **

**ANYWAY...**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

_"Won't you fly high, free bird, oh yeah!"_

_Spock allowed himself a small smile as he listened to Jim singing in the shower. He always did this, every morning, sometimes more tunefully than others._

_Today he was pretty good. _

_He emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later with a grin on his face and a towel around his waist, water droplets running down his chest and over his ever-so-slightly rounded stomach._

_"You're showing," Spock pointed out and Jim grinned, both hands rushing to his stomach._

_"I know. Isn't it awesome?" he beamed, walking over to Spock sitting on the edge of the bed and straddling him, his towel stretching to the limit as he spread his legs._

_Spock placed a kiss just below Jim's belly button and looked up at him._

_"A whole new person, Spock, another little pointy-eared wonder child. Hey do you think Seren will be jealous of the new baby? Like do you think she'll get clingy? I've heard that happens sometimes but I like to think she'd be able to cope," Jim rambled._

_"I am certain she will cope well with being the eldest child, Jim," Spock said as he trailed his hands up Jim's muscular thighs under his towel, lightly squeezing at the damp skin._

_Jim smirked at him._

_"She's asleep you know," Jim pointed out and Spock glanced at the time._

_"I will be late for the start of my shift if we were to engage in any sexual activity at this time," he said matter-of-factly._

_"Well," Jim continued to smirk as he lowered his lips so they were level with Spock's._

_"I'm sure if you ask the Captain nicely, he'll let you off being a little late," he whispered against Spock's lips before trapping the bottom one between his teeth and tugging insistently on it. Spock bit back the moan rising in his throat and grabbed Jim's towel-clad backside firmly, pulling him down onto his lap._

_"You are certain she is asleep?" Spock mumbled against Jim's lips as his hands slipped between them, fumbling with his pants and trying to get them unfastened._

_"Positive. I checked right after I got out of the shower," Jim assured. They had been sleeping in Jim's room and had moved Seren's crib into Spock's quarters next door, using it as her own room. They wanted more privacy, and she was old enough now that she didn't need to be watched at all times._

_Jim got his pants undone and slipped his warm hand inside, grasping his already half-hard cock, that same smirk firmly on his lips._

_"I could order you, Mr Spock," Jim whispered slowly and Spock narrowed his eyes._

_"As your First Officer, it is my function aboard this ship to observe and obey your orders, Sir," Spock responded, causing Jim's lips to curl in another smirk._

_Both of them sighed as a small cry echoed through the room. Jim had set up the comm. system so there was a one way link into Seren's room, working like a baby monitor._

_"I'll get her," he said, clambering off Spock and adjusting his towel a bit._

_"How we ever found time to make another one of those I have no idea," Jim grumbled as he headed for the adjoining door to check on the baby._

Jim didn't sing in the shower anymore.

Spock listened to the water running and the silence surrounding it as he lay in bed. Jim's side was still warm, and smelled of him strongly.

Spock now knew what he'd done wrong, that Jim hadn't wanted him to leave for such long periods of time, but he had no idea how to fix it, where to _begin_ fixing it. He couldn't travel back in time and never go on missions, so he was at a loss as to what other solution there could be. Last night he'd held Jim as he slept, got closer to him physically than he had allowed so far since he'd been home, but it was going to take a lot more than that to fix things. Jim was worried sick about Leo; that much was obvious, perhaps he'd just needed Spock's comfort and had no intention of fixing their relationship, if Spock showed him he could rely on him once again things would naturally improve.

The running water stopped and Spock sat up in bed, looking expectantly at the door of the room, waiting for Jim to come back.

He didn't.

He went out of the other door and down the hallway, Spock listening to the sound of his retreating footsteps and wanting to punch himself in the face for hurting Jim so much that he would barely speak to him.

Jim checked on Leo before getting himself some breakfast. His son was still sleeping, and had a better colour in his face than he had the previous evening. Deciding he wasn't hungry, Jim made himself a cup of coffee. Black, strong, and just a little bit too hot as it passed his lips, leaving his mouth stinging slightly.

As Jim sipped his coffee at the breakfast table Seren crept into the room, wearing pyjamas that he recognised as belonging to one of the twins.

"You forget your pyjamas in Chicago?" Jim smiled as she sat down opposite him.

"Yes. Though I'll be able to collect them later when I return to collect the rest of my things. I'm going to stay here to supervise and assist with Leo's treatment and surgeries, I have already informed the hospital in Chicago of my intentions and they are not opposed," she said and Jim nodded. He'd expected as much. Seren was fiercely protective of both her younger brothers and he knew there was no way she'd allow another doctor to be in charge of his treatment, even Bones.

"I'm glad it's you and Bones treating him, feel like he's got the best possible chance; and this vision thing sounds really promising," Jim said, his voice coming out decidedly unenthusiastic as hard as he tried to inject some positivity into it.

She looked at him sympathetically then reached across the table and took both his hands in her own.

"I promise you he'll make it," she said quietly. He broke the eye contact and retracted his hands, clasping his coffee cup as if it was a priceless artefact.

"Don't ever make promises you can't keep."

He rose to his feet and downed the rest of his coffee in one, straightening his uniform and keeping his eyes on the ground as he headed towards the door.

Seren sighed and leaned back in her chair, about to leave the room as Spock appeared in the doorway Jim had just gone through.

"Did he speak to you?" she asked.

"He did not so much as look at me," he said as he sank into Jim's recently vacated seat.

"He is convinced Leo is going to die," she said slowly and Spock kept his eyes locked onto hers.

"I am not convinced either way," he said and she nodded.

"If it were any other person, I would agree with Jim, but Leo has so much strength in him… he won't give up, he'll fight as hard as he can until his very last breath, I know it, and that last breath wont be for a very long time, not if I have anything to do with it," she said firmly and Spock stared at her.

"You sound like Jim so much sometimes, your determination, your drive, your loyalty," Spock said as he looked at her carefully.

"I am like you both in different ways," she said, getting to her feet and going to check on her brother.

Leo was just beginning to wake up as she crept into his room.

"Jim?" he asked tentatively.

"No, it's me, Jim's gone to work for the day," she said as she walked over to him. He sat up and stretched.

"How are you feeling?" she asked nervously.

"I feel pretty damn good. A little groggy, but I need a few minutes to fully boot-up before I can really give an honest answer," he said with a smile.

She couldn't help but smile in return. He had always been so completely adorable in the morning, with his hair all over the place and his face completely relaxed. She just wished Emily felt the same way for him as he obviously did for her. He'd been so obviously besotted with her from a young age and Seren always wondered why he'd never made a move.

"You sure you're not lying to me?" she asked and he shook his head.

"Honestly. I feel fine, no more nausea, no headache right now, I feel fine."

His face didn't suggest that he was lying, so she accepted his answer as the truth.

"Where's Chris, is he here?" he asked and she shook her head.

"No, not yet. He went home last night and nobody has talked to him since then. I'm going to get those cell samples from him later today and then I can get working on helping you see," she said and he grinned, scratching his head and messing up his hair even more.

"I can't wait."

"I'll leave you to get dressed and everything," she said, leaving him alone and breathing a sigh of relief that the treatment wasn't making him too sick, at least not yet.

* * *

David McCoy walked faster, fastening his jacket to try and keep out the cold. It may have only been mid-September, but winter was certainly approaching fast.

He'd just been meeting with his instructor to discuss re-taking his pilot's exam for the third attempt, and was now heading home to sulk about the response which had been a resounding 'no'.

He'd have to re-take the whole _fucking_ year at the academy.

Brilliant.

He let his mind wander as he walked; wander to all the partying, all the drinking and the women and the time spent with Chris and sometimes Leo too.

As his best friends, he'd rarely ever go a day without seeing at least one of them. But recently something had shifted; there had been a change in the way he felt. Something about Christopher was making him uncomfortable.

He of course knew that as part Vulcan's they possessed telepathic abilities, but he could feel something strange resonating from Christopher whenever they were around each-other. Something that didn't make sense, as he was under the impression they had to be touching for his telepathy to be effective. He'd allowed both twins to mind-meld with him in the past, it was always an interesting experience, but the last time Chris had suddenly backed away.

Even after he'd backed away, for weeks afterwards David could have sworn he could still feel the tiniest trace of his friends mind inside his own.

Just as he was trying to move his thoughts onwards, his communicator sounded and he pulled it out of his pocket, the very object of his thoughts on the other end of the line.

"Didn't think you normally saw this time of the morning," he smirked.

"Oh well aren't you just _hilarious_," Chris responded.

"What do you want?" David asked roughly.

"If you're going to be so rude I can just leave you to it!"

"No no I'm kidding. What can I do for you?" he asked with a sigh.

"You want to party later?"

David thought for a moment.

"Not really. I'm not in the mood today," he said shortly and Chris groaned.

"Why not?"

"Because, Christopher, we partied too much this year, I have to re-do my entire year at the academy because I failed so badly. My parents are going to freak the fuck out," he muttered.

"Oh shit. Sucks to be you!"

"Fuck you Kirk," David hissed and his friend laughed.

"Well if you ask pretty enough I might just let you," Christopher taunted.

"Fuck _off_!" David snapped the communicator shut and crammed it back in his pocket.

As he continued to walk home he tried to figure out why he was blushing redder than his cadet uniform.

* * *

Christopher laughed to himself as David cut off his call, getting up from the couch and strolling over to the kitchen. He pulled out a box of cereal from the cupboard and a large glass mixing bowl, emptying the entire box into it before drowning it in a full pint of milk.

He returned to the couch with the bowl balanced in one hand and a spoon in the other, ready to feast. He and Leo would do this occasionally. A gigantic cereal binge for no apparent reason other than being too lazy to cook any real food. Jim always found it hilarious, Spock not so much.

Before he got comfortable on the couch the door buzzer sounded.

"For the love of all that is fucking good in this world, can't a man eat his cereal in peace?!" he hissed as he put the cereal down on the small table in front of the couch, getting up and storming over to the door to answer it.

"What?" he demanded as he hit the button to open the door.

"Oh… uh... sorry, hi," he mumbled as he realised it was Spock standing there.

"Is this an acceptable time to talk?" he asked, cutting the crap immediately in a way that let Christopher know he was really in trouble. Spock's dark eyes looked downright dangerous as he surveyed his eldest son.

"I'm having cereal time, but as long as that doesn't offend you, you're welcome to come in," he said, stepping aside to let his father into the apartment.

He entered the room and looked around before his eyes locked onto the giant bowl of cereal.

"I can put it away if it bothers you," Chris offered and Spock shook his head slightly before sitting down on the other couch.

Chris sat back where he had been a few moments ago and picked up his bowl, beginning to stuff his face.

Spock watched him with what looked like mild curiosity until he was done.

"Sorry, yeah, I needed that. What's up?" he asked, lounging back a little bit into the couch.

"It has been brought to my attention that during my time away Jim has been far too lenient in tolerating your increasingly bizarre behaviour. From my understanding of his descriptions and the information I have available, I believe I may know what is causing you to behave so erratically," he said and Chris narrowed his eyes slightly.

"What are you talking about? There's nothing _bizarre_ about my behaviour, I'm just having some fun and that isn't a crime-"

"You are being driven to mate. Am I correct?" Spock said matter-of-factly. Christopher snorted, unable to keep the smirk off his face.

"If you want to call it mating, then yeah, I guess so," he said. "Why is my sex life any of your concern?" he asked and Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Believe me when I say I have no desire to know any details of any particular activities you choose to indulge in. I am concerned because your behaviour would suggest you may be approaching something I did not encounter until I was much older than you are," he said and Chris sighed. He knew what Spock was talking about. The burning, aching desire in him that he couldn't get out of his system, the little murmur in the back of his mind telling him he needed to find his mate, his _bondmate_.

"I feel it but I can suppress it. I ignore it… then it gets too much again, so I sleep with a few people, it goes away again, but then it always comes back. My mind and my body are searching for… I don't know. My bondmate I guess. I'm not ready for any of that though, I can keep pushing it down and-"

"You cannot. If you continue to ignore it, you will enter Pon Farr and become consumed by the Plak Tow. I can only assume the reason your time is approaching so early is because you were never pre-bonded to a selected partner as a child. Jim forbade it; he stated that the three of you were to choose your own life partners when you were old enough. I warned him of the possible complications, but he would not listen."

Christopher was silent for a few moments.

"Why isn't this happening to Seren first? She's older, surely she should be first to experience this?"

Spock looked at Christopher carefully before giving his answer.

"The reason is because you have already met your T'hy'la. Your mind had already begun to form a connection to this person. Do you know who this person is?" he asked and Christopher laughed loudly.

"It could be any one of the girls I've been sleeping with," he said and Spock raised an eyebrow.

"If I were to enquire as to the quantity of-"

"A hundred and seven," Christopher cut him off. He was certain he saw a faint green blush creeping into Spock's face.

"It could be any person with whom you have shared such a strong physical connection. I would suggest that you find them, as you are already displaying symptoms of the early onset. Jim has informed me you have been using a medication incorrectly to attempt to control it. Do not. Do not ever do this again," he said firmly and Chris paused a moment before nodding.

"I already said I was sorry to him about that," he muttered and Spock narrowed his eyes.

"He did not mention your apology to me."

"Well I'm sorry to you too then. I'm sorry to everyone for being a man with needs and I didn't know what was happening to me. Hell, I don't know pretty much a damn thing about my Vulcan side! Everything I know I had to find out from Jim because you were never here to explain it!" he found his voice raising before he could stop himself. He had recently been getting angry so fast that it scared him a little.

"When Leo and I asked him about it he told us you… were aggressive. Am I going to be violent?" he asked in much softer tone. Spock tensed before opening his mouth and then closing it again, looking at his son carefully.

"Do you recall your sixth birthday?" Spock asked and Christopher nodded.

"Of course I do. We were staying with Uncle Pavel, because you were off planet and Jim got called to an emergency… oh," he said as realisation hit him.

"That was my first experience of Pon Farr. My second was seven years and two weeks later, fortunately I was on Earth at the time. I will experience it again before the end of this year, as it has already passed the anticipated date. You must understand it is a matter of urgency that you locate your T'hy'la, your bondmate, as your mind has already selected them for you whether you are consciously aware of it or not," he warned and Chris screwed up his face. He could remember Jim coming home from an away mission with a split lip and an angry red mark on his neck, moving gingerly like he had maybe broken a rib or two, he said it was from a fight with a pissed off Romulan, but the timings would fit for Spock to have inflicted the injuries.

"So you're telling me, it could be any of the girls I've slept with? And that I'm going to completely lose my mind?"

"It is deeply personal. You may be affected very differently than I am. Discussing such things is very challenging," he said, looking incredibly uncomfortable and even guilty.

"Why, because it makes you remember hurting him?"

Spock froze, his eyes showing he was hurt by the comment even though his face remained stubbornly neutral.

"I deeply regret the fact that I am unable to protect him from myself when I am overcome by the fever. I sincerely hope that you and your brother will not be affected in the same way as me. I am fortunate that Jim had always been accepting of the fact I am entirely out of control during that time and would never wish to hurt him deliberately," he said clearly and Chris nodded, running his hands through his hair and sighing.

"Great. I guess I need to get working on figuring out who it is then," he said and Spock nodded.

"Urgently. And if you could also please refrain from appearing in various states of undress in images which are to be published I would be most grateful," Spock said as he got to his feet. Chris couldn't help but smirk. He'd definitely bothered him alright.

"No promises," he said as he also rose to his feet. He glanced at the time. He still had a few hours before he needed to get to the hospital for Seren to take details scans of his brain.

"Whilst I cannot deny you are aesthetically pleasing, it does cause me significant embarrassment when I hear comments being made by others about your physical form," Spock said and Chris chuckled to himself.

"Well, I can't help you with that I'm afraid. How are you and Jim doing? You made friends again yet?" he asked and Spock took that opportunity to excuse himself and leave the apartment.

Christopher knew that would successfully get rid of him, and returned to the couch where he would sit and wait before spending the afternoon submitting to tests to try and give his twin his sight.

* * *

"Did you talk to him?" Jim asked as Spock entered his office without knocking.

"I did. I believe you were correct in your assumption that he is experiencing the very earliest onset of Pon Farr. I have explained clearly to him that he must find his bondmate."

Jim breathed out slowly and ran his hands through his hair.

"Does he know who it is?"

"He does not."

"Probably because he's drunk all the time he's around these girls he's been sleeping with… god damn it Spock, I'm such a fuck up. I completely neglected him, you know? I was always so focused on Leo… I wasn't fair to him. This is all my fault," Jim said and Spock cocked his head to one side.

"Illogical."

"Explain," Jim said, reaching into the bottom drawer of his desk and removing the silver flask he'd started to keep there, taking a large swig from it and putting it back. Drinking at work. He spent too much time around Bones for his own good.

"If he was always going to seek attention, he would have done so regardless of parenting and external influence. I believe one day he will find where his true skills lie, and he will find his purpose, however as he has yet to do so, he is seeking our attention by behaving in a way which he believes will elicit the greatest response from us."

"Still sounds like my fault to me," Jim shrugged and stood up, stretching slightly and adjusting his too-large grey uniform jacket.

"I'm so worried about him, about both of them. Chris seems out of control, and this entire thing with Leo hasn't even _begun_ to sink in properly yet and I just feel so-"

Spock interrupted Jim by crossing the room to him and placing his hand on the side of his face.

"Spock what are you-"

Jim was silenced as Spock placed his lips against his, gently, tenderly. Jim froze and didn't kiss back, but wished he had when Spock removed his lips a second later.

"You are an excellent parent. Never doubt your abilities," Spock said quietly and Jim gave a small nod. Spock used his thumb to gently caress Jim's cheekbone before retracting his hand.

"I am… so sorry, Jim. I have reflected on our conversations over the past days and I wish to apologise again. I understand that I have no right to expect your forgiveness at this point or any given point in the future, but I ask of you, please do not shut me out. I wish to assist in supporting you at this difficult time, all I wish to be is a comfort to you, I will not request to reinstate our relationship in it's previous form and-"

"Our relationship never changed, Spock," Jim interrupted and Spock looked at him carefully. Jim wasn't looking at him like he hated him, it was a nice change.

"We're still married and bonded and T'hy'la and all of it… we just got a little lost along the way. I don't just want you there to support me, I want to support you too, that's what we need to do for each other right now, is just be there, and be getting along. I'm not angry anymore. I'm just… I'm scared Spock," he finished in a low voice and Spock felt a surge of emotion at the sickeningly-familiar words. He'd never forget the day Jim spoke them to him through the glass of the warp-reactor door over twenty years ago.

"I… am scared too," Spock confessed as he took a small step closer to Jim, tentatively wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him close. Jim wrapped his arms around him in return, burying his face into Spock's neck and breathing deeply.

"You owe me nine years worth of waking up in the same bed," Jim mumbled and Spock smiled slightly.

"I am fully aware and intend to rectify this error at the first possible opportunity," he said and he felt Jim smile against his neck before placing a small kiss there.

"You promise you won't leave? Especially not right now?" Jim asked. The insecurity in his voice caused Spock pain in the knowledge that he had been the one to cause it. He pulled back far enough that he could look Jim in the eyes.

"T'hy'la, I will not leave. I will provide support for you and our children as I should have done all along," he said sincerely and Jim smiled.

"I'll hold you to that."

* * *

Emily McCoy was bored.

After living such an exciting lifestyle with the band, to be back at home and not doing anything was exceptionally dull.

Her mother and father were both out of the house at work, Joanna was at work, and David had gone into the academy to meet with his instructor. The house was so silent it was almost painful.

She glanced around her room. It didn't look like her room, there were no personal items, it could have been a hotel room. No pictures stuck to the walls. No gifts from friends or souvenirs from adventures away from home littering the surfaces. Just a neat and tidy room that hadn't been lived in for the better half of a decade.

She took her guitar from its case and played for a while, enjoying the sound echoing through the house as it sounded much better than the silence.

As she played her mind wandered. She didn't want to sit in the house all day by herself that was for sure, but she didn't really have any friends in San Francisco.

Remembering her promise to Leo Kirk at her welcome home party she picked up her communicator and entered his frequency, waiting a few moments before he answered.

"'lo?" greeted a deep voice, scratchy as if he hadn't used it yet that day.

"Are you sleeping? Gosh I'm so sorry, I thought you'd be awake by now and-"

"Emily? No, I wasn't sleeping I was uh… resting my eyes," he said, sounding a lot more alert.

"So sleeping?" she asked with a smile. He chuckled.

"Maybe. What can I do for you?"

"Well… I'm bored Leo. Everyone is at work or out of the house, and I'm all by myself and I'm bored. Want to come over? We could… I don't know, make cookies or something?" she offered and he chuckled again.

"Take it you haven't heard about my incredible culinary skills then?"

"No, are you a good cook?" she asked and he actually laughed.

"I can burn water. Honestly. I shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen. Period. _Ever._ It's just a disaster zone," he said and she found herself giggling.

"Ok, maybe not cooking. We should catch up though, I mean, we didn't really get to talk the other night and we have like… seven years to talk about. You want to maybe meet for coffee or something?" she offered.

"Yeah, I can do that," he said, maybe a little _too_ quickly.

"Do you know… uh… you know actually I don't know any coffee shops around here. Do you know somewhere we could go?" she asked.

"Sure, I uh… should I text you the address?" he offered awkwardly and she smiled.

"Yeah, that'd be good."

"Alright, I'll send it now. Thirty minutes good for you?"

"Sounds perfect."

The call ended and she grinned as she received a text message a few moments later that was riddled with spelling errors. She got enough of the gist to figure out the address.

She killed some time around the house sorting some of her things before pulling on her jacket and leaving in plenty of time to get to the coffee shop. It was a surprisingly cold day and she wished she's worn a larger coat as she walked the ten minutes to where Leo had told her to meet. He was already there when she arrived, hair still damp from being hurriedly towelled dry after his shower. He was wearing a grey hooded sweatshirt that was a bit too big for him, but it looked warm and complimented his golden skin tone nicely.

"Hey stranger," she said as she slipped into booth sitting opposite him.

"Hi," he said with a small smile. She found it amazing that his eyes would always follow the sound of her voice so he'd actually make pretty good eye-contact.

There were already two cups sitting on the table and she smiled at the one in her place.

"Hot chocolate with the little marshmallows. How did you know?" she asked and he smiled.

"You're a girl, it's a girly kinda thing," he said as he picked up his own cup and sipped from it.

"Well, good guess," she said as she took a sip of the drink.

"You not having chocolate too?" she asked as he noticed his drink was different.

"Uh… no. Chocolate does bad things to me," he said and she remembered.

"Oh. It makes you kind of… drunk, right? I remember when we were kids and Joanna shared her chocolate bar with you and Christopher, you guys were messes and Jim went crazy," she laughed and he nodded.

"Oh yeah. It doesn't take much of the stuff either, we're both really sensitive to it. I get to drink boring tea," he said as he set down the cup again.

"Tea is good too," she shrugged and he nodded slightly.

They fell into a slightly awkward silence until she spoke up again.

"So… my Dad tells me you're studying Engineering?" she asked and he nodded eagerly.

"Yeah. I'm in my final year, but I'm taking this semester off to… well, just spend a bit of time focusing on some other things," he said vaguely and she raised her eyebrows.

"Other things like that?"

"Oh just y'know... stuff," he said even more vaguely.

"Leonard James Kirk, do not make me torture you for this information," she warned and he grinned.

"You haven't changed a bit," he said.

"No. I haven't. Now spill."

"Well… Seren has been doing some extensive research, and it turns out she may have found a way to make me see. So. I'm being her test subject for a little while to see if it works. I mean, it'd sure as hell make life easier," he said and she leaned back into the comfortable padding of the booth.

"If you don't mind me asking, how do you… I don't know, cope? I mean I don't know if I could manage without being able to see," she said and he shrugged.

"I don't know what I'm missing out on. I have a good memory and pretty good intuition, the rest of it is just… faith, oh, and a lot of tripping over, knocking things over, and generally making an ass of myself, but you know, can't complain, life is good," he said and she smiled.

"You're such a trooper Leo."

A faint green tinge crept into his cheeks and she laughed loudly.

"Are you blushing?"

"_No!_" he protested quickly and she laughed again, poking his arm where it rested on the table.

"I think you are. Anyway. Tell me about what you've been doing, what I've missed while I've been away. You certainly look a little different to when I left," she commented as she let her eyes take him in properly.

"Is it the beard?" he asked, scratching his chin with his thumb and forefinger. He had maybe two days worth of sand-coloured stubble adorning his face.

"I don't know if I'd call it a beard," she smirked.

"Oh come on! It's totally a beard. Just because it still won't grow any more than this isn't my fault," he laughed. "Maybe I'll actually get to puberty one day and then I can grow a bad-ass beard," he said thoughtfully and she laughed.

"You're strange," she said, shaking her head and taking another sip of her hot chocolate.

"No, I'm Leo," he corrected playfully and she smiled again. She couldn't tell if he was flirting or not, it certainly seemed like it, but then on the other hand he seemed too innocent to even know what flirting _was._

They spent almost two hours talking and laughing, sharing stories about the past few years, catching up. Emily decided he was definitely trying to flirt, and doing a pretty good job of it too. She found herself blushing on more than one occasion, giggling all the time, and feeling strange little butterflies in her stomach that she knew she needed to take control of.

Leo was getting quieter and quieter though, listening more than he was speaking, and Emily had noticed.

"Hey are you ok? You haven't said much in the last ten minutes or so," she said and he blinked hard.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a little tired," he said and she looked at him carefully.

He didn't look tired, but he looked a little paler than earlier.

"Actually, I'd better go, I need to start working on trying to find a job or something," she said with a small sigh.

"You going to find something music-related to do? While you try and find another band?" he asked as they both slid out of the booth and grabbed their jackets.

"I hope so. I'd love to be in a musical or something, that'd be really great," she said and he smiled.

"Like the theatre?"

"Yeah. I don't know, it just always seemed like a lot of fun," she said and he nodded.

"Don't tell anyone but I totally love musicals, especially the good old ones. I listen to them in secret," he confessed with a shy smile and she found herself grinning again.

"I mean Jim knows, but then he loves them more than me. Never have I known another man who knows all the words to every song in _Hairspray_," he said and she giggled.

"Now I totally have an image of him dancing around the kitchen making breakfast and singing 'Good Morning Baltimore' to himself," she said and Leo laughed.

"Worst thing is I've caught him doing just that," he said as they reached the door. He fumbled a little but got his bearings quickly and held it open for her, leaving her slightly taken aback as he waited for her to go first.

"Thank you," she said as she gently touched his arm to tell him she was through the door. He followed and nodded quickly.

They walked back most of the way together, still talking and laughing until they had to split up to go to their respective homes.

"Well, I need to go this way now. Thank you for this, it was good fun," she said and he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, definitely. We should… I don't know, hang out again sometime. Maybe have a big musical movie night or… y'know, or not, entirely up to you," he said and she noticed the faint green blush building in his cheeks again.

"That sounds really good," she smiled.

"Great! Well, you know where to find me," he said and she nodded.

"Yes I do."

"Bye then, I mean; you know, not _bye_ as in goodbye because it isn't… uh… see you soon? … but I guess not _see_ because I can't… so uh… yeah. Um… help?" he stuttered and she found herself biting her lip to stop from laughing too much.

"You really don't hang out with girls too often do you?" she said and he shook his head.

"Unless my sister qualifies as a girl, no ma'am."

"Well I'm kind of like your sister, so I don't qualify either," she said. It was more to convince herself than him.

Ok. So he may have grown up to be a rather attractive young man. _A very attractive young man_. But that didn't change the fact they'd been best friends as kids. They'd known each other their whole lives. They were practically siblings with how close their families were to each other.

_And you have a boyfriend!_ Emily mentally scolded herself.

She tried to tell herself she hadn't noticed the obvious disappointment that flickered briefly across his face before vanishing as quickly as it had appeared.

"That's very true, I'm pretty sure they even used to make us all sleep in the same bed," Leo said with a sigh.

"Yeah. There's a picture on the wall in your living room if I remember correctly, all six of us asleep in one big double bed. It's the sweetest damn thing I've ever seen," she smiled and he locked his eyes onto hers.

"When I can see I'll make sure it's one of the first things I look at," he said determinedly.

"When and not if?" she said and he nodded.

"It's going to work, I just know it," he said positively.

"It will," she agreed, reaching out to touch his upper arm in a friendly gesture. It was more muscular than she expected and she withdrew her hand quite quickly as she found herself wondering what he would look like wearing nothing but his lopsided smirk…

"I'll talk to you soon," he said as he took a step back.

"Real soon," she agreed as she went her own way and started to walk home.

When Leo arrived home he kicked off his shoes by the door, removing his jacket and dropping it somewhere between the front door and his bed.

He was _so_ tired that it physically hurt him. He knew it wasn't going to get any easier. That morning he'd woken up, managed to stay awake for around half an hour before crawling back into bed until he'd been disturbed by Emily.

Ignoring the way his mind was counting down to his next chemo session the following day he curled up in bed, still fully clothed.

Emily had obviously figured out something was wrong with him, so he knew he needed to get better at hiding it if he was to keep his illness quiet.

He could still practically feel her hand on his shoulder where she had touched him.

_Snap out of it, you big idiot. She was right, she's as good as your sister in the same way you think of David as your other brother._

_Except she isn't._

_Except for the part where I'm in love with her and probably always will be._

Leo forced his mind to empty. He needed to rest.

Placing his other hand on the place on his upper arm where she had touched him, he closed his eyes and allowed the tiredness to finally pull him under, the sweet sound of her laughter still ringing in his ears.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

**Busy week! Glad I've finally got something to post for you all. Bit more Jim/Spock in this one, and a smut warning I guess, though it isn't all that graphic or long of a scene (though we'll get to that soon enough ;) )**

**Thanks once again to everyone who took the time to review the last chapter. Reviews definitely mean more than ever to me right now because this story is MUCH more difficult to write than the last one, I mean, all the OC's, mixing storylines, all very new to me!**

**It's late as i'm posting this and I wont get to proof read and correct until tomorrow morning, so if there are any silly errors please ignore as they'll be fixed very soon :)**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

_"Daddy, what's dead mean?"_

_Jim looked down at his young son and sighed._

_"It means kind of like when you go to sleep, but you don't wake up again. It means you're not alive anymore," he explained gently._

_"But why don't you wake back up?" he asked as he looked at the headstone in front of him._

_"Death means that the body is no longer functional Christopher, no longer able to sustain life," Spock said bluntly and Jim glared at him._

_"Gee, thanks Spock, way to explain it gently to them," he said sarcastically._

_"I do not believe we should, what is the term… 'sugar coat' explanations of such things," Spock said and Jim looked away from him and back to the grey headstone._

Shoving his hands deeper into his pockets Jim walked quicker through the cemetery grounds. September had quickly become October and the ground was littered with partially decomposed leaves that crunched under his feet as he walked.

He stopped in the familiar spot and took a deep breath.

"Hey. Sorry it's been a while… I've been busy. Life just… gets in the way sometimes," he sighed as he looked at the headstone. It had been over a year since his last visit and he felt guilty about it, he'd intended to come here more often.

_Christopher Pike._

There were no other words. Not even dates of birth and death. They weren't needed. The grand grey marble stone bearing just his name was perfectly befitting of Jim's original inspiration to join Starfleet.

"I… I guess I'm here to say I'm sorry to you, for letting you down. I'm going to have to leave Starfleet. I have more important things to do now, Leo is really sick, and I want to spend as much time with him as I can before… well… just in case the worst case scenario happens."

Jim shivered a little and pulled his coat higher around his neck.

"It just feels wrong you know? Leaving. I always wanted to get back out there, but things aren't the same anymore. I don't feel like I could sit in the chair and deal with the situations I used to deal with… I've spent too long behind a desk. Feel a bit like I've lost my edge," he said, glancing at his watch.

He stood in silence for around ten minutes. Reflecting. Trying to make sense of things in his jumbled mind.

"I have to go," Jim said quietly. He turned and walked away in the pale morning light, towards his car to drive to the hospital.

* * *

"I hate this so much," Leo said through gritted teeth as Dr McCoy carefully removed his IV.

"I know kid, it aint nice. You're doin' good though. You want a hand?" he offered and Leo shook his head, gripping the arms of the chair tightly before forcing himself up onto his feet.

He lasted about five seconds before sitting back down, a wave of nausea washing over him.

"Think I'm gonna puke," he managed to warn before he followed through on his words, the doctor holding a plastic basin for him as he emptied his stomach.

He gasped for air, knuckles white as he gripped the chair for support until he was done, dry heaving but with nothing left to come up.

The doctor handed him a plastic cup of water which he used to wash his mouth out, spitting into the basin then taking a sip from the water, followed by a deep, steadying breath.

"I _hate_ this," he muttered.

Bones sighed.

This was the first day he'd seen Leo this negative about his treatment. It seemed the tiredness, the nausea and the constant aching in his limbs was finally wearing him down.

"Sorry. I'm good now. Is Jim here yet?" he asked and the Doctor offered him his hand again, this time he took it and allowed him to help him to his feet.

"Haven't seen him kiddo. You told him ten right?"

"Yeah, ten," Leo nodded, letting go of the doctors hand and using both his hands to push his sweaty hair off his forehead.

How his hair hadn't fallen out was beyond the realms of the doctors understanding. The dose of chemotherapy being used was so potent it _should_ have certainly caused his hair to fall out, but the kid was stubborn and seemed to be refusing to let it.

"You know you only have five more of these, right? And then we're going to… you know, go ahead and try to remove it," he said and Leo nodded slightly.

"Yeah. I know. I'll be glad. I'd rather have my head cut open than keep being poisoned three times a week," he said and Bones put his hand on his shoulder.

"Keep it up kid, you're almost there."

Jim arrived five minutes later and barely spoke a word. Bones knew something was wrong with him, but didn't ask questions; Jim had enough on his plate without him nagging him.

"Have you heard from Chris at all?" Leo asked Jim as they got into the car.

"Uh… not for a few days. Has he contacted you?"

"No. It's kind of… weird. It's like he's ignoring me. I sent him a comm. but I got nothing back."

"Guess the bright lights of New York have got him distracted," Jim said quietly.

Leo wasn't thrilled when Christopher had announced he was moving away, but he'd signed a temporary contract to a different modelling agency and they were getting him a hell of a lot of work, the only problem being all the work was in New York City. He'd be gone for another few weeks before his contract allowed him to move back home.

Jim was quite obviously unhappy about his son moving so far away, to a city where he didn't know anyone, but Christopher told him he needed to go and make his own mistakes.

Spock had gone so far as to go to New York and hunt Chris down, telling him he had to come back immediately.

He'd returned alone, so Christopher obviously hadn't listened.

The only reason Leo was slightly grateful for his brother being away was that he didn't have to explain to him about his illness. He'd managed to maintain acting normally around him until he left, but the chemo was well and truly affecting him now, and he struggled to keep up any kind of normal behaviour.

"Are you doing anything for the rest of today?" Jim asked and Leo nodded.

"I'm meeting Emily tonight, but other than that, no nothing, just resting," he said and Jim smiled to himself.

"You see her quite often," he pointed out.

"She's a good friend," Leo dismissed. They had become firm friends in the time she'd been back, realising that though they had spent years apart they had never really changed.

"Just a friend?"

"She has a boyfriend. And it isn't me. So yeah, I'd say just a friend."

Jim was quiet for a minute before speaking again.

"You like her though don't you? I mean… you always did as a kid."

"I like her as a friend," Leo said stubbornly and Jim smirked.

"A friend you want to be more than friends with?"

Leo sighed.

"I want more than anything to be more than friends with her. You're fully aware of that. The trouble is I'll never be good enough for her, even if this sight treatment works, even if I survive beyond Christmas, I'll never be the right guy for her or it would have happened by now. I can accept that, I _have_ accepted that," he said and Jim shrugged.

"Just the way she looks at you lately… I don't know if there is a boyfriend, I think he's fictional to make you jealous," Jim thought aloud.

"Well I don't see the way she looks at me so I don't care," Leo muttered. His head was throbbing, his body was aching, he felt sick again and he was so tired it physically hurt him to keep his eyes open.

Jim knew when to shut up, and he did, driving them both home. He noticed Leo falling asleep in the car and knew he'd need to either wake him or get Spock to help carry him into the house. Even with the weight he'd lost Leo was still heavier than Jim by a substantial amount.

_Spock, are you at home?_

Jim only had to wait a few moments for a response. They'd been using their bond more frequently to communicate and Jim found it comforting, he was also beginning to enjoy Spock's company more and more and although they hadn't had any kind of sexual contact, he'd found himself wanting to be in physical contact with him. To touch him, even to kiss him.

_I am, T'hy'la. Are you on your way with Leonard?_

_Yeah. He's fallen asleep in the car; can you help me move him? We're about two minutes away._

As Jim parked in the driveway Spock was waiting for them and gently lifted Leo out of the car and over his shoulder as if he weighed nothing at all.

He carried their son up the stairs and to his bed where he carefully placed him down, Jim removing his shoes and then pulling the blankets up and tucking him in.

"I hate seeing him like this," Jim sighed and Spock nodded in agreement.

"It is… unpleasant to witness him in such a condition," said Spock and Jim bit his lip and looked at the ground.

They hadn't really discussed their worst fear, but the unspoken words hung heavy in the air of the room like a thick winter's day fog.

Their fear that Leo wouldn't make it.

That the chemo would fail and the surgery would fail and he'd die.

"I'll be so lost without him if he doesn't pull through," Jim said quietly and Spock reached for his hand.

"Do not think about it."

"I can't help but think about it Spock! Look at him. He barely eats and when he does its only a matter of time until he's sick, he sleeps for most of the day, he's barely strong enough to walk ten minutes… I just… watching him go downhill like this, so quickly, it's the worst thing I've ever had to see. The hardest part is being so _helpless_. I mean… a month ago things were so different for him, he had his whole life to look forward to… but now that could only _be_ a matter of months. What… what if he doesn't make it? What if we never get to see him get married? Have kids of his own? All these things that everyone takes for granted. What if he never gets to see?"

Spock used his thumb to brush away a single tear that had escaped onto Jim's cheek.

"I have no answers to your questions," said Spock as he looked down at the young man in the bed, his face a sickly green colour against the white of his pillows.

"Talk about me somewhere else, m'tryna' sleep," he mumbled sleepily, rolling onto his side and pulling the blanket higher so it covered the bottom half of his face.

"Sorry," Jim said quickly. He hadn't realised Leo was awake, and if he had, he wouldn't have said anything he had just let slip.

"S'ok. Just… stop stressing? I'm going to be fine, this part just really sucks," he said quietly and Jim nodded.

"I know. I know you'll be ok; it's just really scary to think that you might not be… I want you to have a… long and… y'know, _prosperous_ life," he said, not missing the small curl of the corner of Spock's lips as he played on the Vulcan greeting.

"I will. I'm going to grow up and have ten kids and get married and do all the stuff I'm meant to do. Quit worrying Jimbo," he said and Jim smiled weakly.

"You got it boss."

Jim and Spock left him to sleep, returning to their own room where Jim sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed until Spock took a deep breath as if to say something. Jim beat him to it and spoke first.

"I think I'm going to resign from Starfleet."

Spock raised both eyebrows so high they were in danger of being lost behind his hair.

"Please, elaborate," he said and Jim looked down at the floor.

"I want to have more time to spend with Leo. I mean, the admiralty hate me for squashing all of my hours into four days as it is, but the fact is that he needs me, he needs _us_ more and more to help take care of him as he… gets weaker," Jim said solemnly.

"I understand, however it is highly illogical to give up your career due to this. Seren is more than capable of caring for Leo, and my own working hours allow me to spend more time at the house than you. Between the two of us we can provide care for him when you are at work," Spock said and Jim sighed.

"I know. I know you only teach a few classes a week, and that Seren is here most of the time apart from when she's checking on the… experiment…" Jim shuddered slightly. Seren had showed him the piece of cloned brain as it developed and it creeped him out, even made him a little squeamish.

"It's just that I want to be here. I don't want to be at my desk, I can't focus at my desk. I want to be here to look after him myself. I want to spend as much time with him as I can," he said and Spock sat beside him.

"You would be unhappy if you were to resign, I know this to be a fact," Spock said as he placed his hand on Jim's knee.

"Probably. But I'm unhappy every hour I sit at that desk and think that if he slips away it's another hour with him I'll never get the chance of again. I can't regret that for my whole life Spock, I honestly can't. But I can't choose. I went to see… Admiral Pike this morning, to try and decide, but he didn't have any answers."

"As the Admiral has been dead for over twenty years it is unlikely that he could have provided you with a solution," Spock pointed out and Jim couldn't help but chuckle weakly.

"You're right. I don't know why I went there, it was stupid. I just… I've been thinking a lot about my original reasons for joining, the reasons he pointed out to me that day in Iowa… and I feel like I've lost my way. I've been so caught up in everything, in being mad at you, in being 'Dad' half the day and 'Commodore' the other half that I kind of… forgot who I am," he finished weakly and looked up at Spock who's eyes were fixed on Jim's left hand, where the well worn gold band was back where it belonged around his finger.

"Oh… yeah… I put it back on this morning… felt so weird without it I didn't want to leave it off anymore," he said nervously and Spock looked up at his face, deep brown eyes locking onto his own clear blue orbs.

"You are James Tiberius Kirk, the one and only. Captain of the USS. Enterprise, the youngest ever Captain and then Commodore. You are a most valued asset to Starfleet, able to generate bold and brilliant strategies where others draw a total blank. You are an exceptional father-"

"Spock, I'm not exceptional under anyone's definition and-" Jim tried to cut him off but Spock continued talking.

"Exceptional. Raising two children as model citizens and one who I am certain is simply in need of a bondmate to curb his more… carnal… behaviour before he too will become the brilliant young man I am certain you have raised him to be. You are a far too forgiving partner, as the longer I stay here with you, the longer I feel I do not deserve you after having left for so long and hurt you so-"

Spock was cut off as Jim surged forwards, connecting their lips in a dizzying kiss and holding him like he never wanted to let go.

Both men were breathless when they finally broke apart.

"Do you want to… I don't know, do something later? Like we used to do?" Jim asked cautiously and Spock quirked an eyebrow.

"There are a lot of things we used to do," he said matter-of-factly and Jim chuckled.

"Well I was thinking if you're in the mood to say nice things about me we could go out somewhere and I could listen to you say nice things in a nicer setting," Jim smiled.

"I recall you enjoying the colours at this time of year, perhaps an outdoor activity?" Spock suggested and Jim grinned.

"I'm off all day if you want to go somewhere now?"

"I regret that I must give one lecture at mid-day, however I will return as soon as it is complete?" Spock offered and Jim nodded.

"Sure. It's a date then… I mean, I guess," Jim smiled nervously. He felt like a giddy teenager going on his first ever date, not a forty-five year old man who'd been married for fifteen years and bonded for even longer.

* * *

Jim spent the day sitting watching holovids with Leo.

He'd always found it curious that his son enjoyed them so much, given that he couldn't see them, but Jim never asked questions. Leo dozed through half of them, struggling to keep himself a comfortable temperature even with several blankets and the heat in the room turned up to an extent that had Jim sweating slightly.

He had called Jim a _genius_ when he'd brought him a hot water bottle, gratefully accepting the somewhat primitive method of warming himself instantly and shoving it down his shirt.

Spock arrived home right on time that evening and kept his promise of taking Jim somewhere outdoors.

The pair materialised in the middle of a familiar place and Jim grinned widely.

"Yosemite! Spock we haven't been here in years," he sighed wistfully as he turned to look around.

"You always enjoyed this place," Spock noted.

"I love it here. One of the advantages of living so close I guess, but then having a genius son who can create a handheld transporter device after even Scotty couldn't also comes in useful," Jim smiled and tucked the device into his pocket.

It was late afternoon and the sun was relatively low in the sky, casting perfect 'golden hour' lighting through the forest.

"Shall we walk?" Jim asked and Spock nodded, holding his hand out.

Jim looked at it for a moment before taking it, loving the familiar feeling of warmth as their fingers meshed together.

They walked for over an hour. Listening to the quietness of the forest, to each other talking and their slightly heavy breathing as they walked. They ascended the entire time; and now had a truly spectacular view over the park as the last of the golden evening sun ebbed away. The reds and yellows and browns of the leaves painted the landscape before them like a beautiful canvas and Jim found himself wishing he had his camera. Taking pictures was something he'd become heavily interested in over the years, and the house was full of images he'd captured, mostly of the kids.

_Ashayam, it is not since returning home that I truly appreciated the depths with which I missed you whilst I was away._

Jim smiled to himself.

"That mean you're staying?" he asked.

Spock nodded.

"As I have already stated on thirty-four occasions since my return, I will not leave you," he said and Jim smirked.

"Only thirty four times? Feels like you've said it more than that," he laughed, giving Spock a playful shove and causing him to narrow his eyes.

"If you are seeking a reaction from me I will not-"

Jim silenced him by stopping walking abruptly, pushing Spock against a nearby redwood tree and slamming their lips together. He made sure to angle his hips forward so their bodies were entirely in contact, Spock sandwiched between the tree and his bondmate.

Quick as a flash their positions were reversed and Jim found himself against the tree, Spock dropping to his knees before him, long slender fingers fumbling with the buttons of his pants.

"Spock! We're outside," Jim giggled, half-heartedly pushing him away.

"And as I am entirely aware of what you were intending to do to me, I do not see how our being outside is an issue," Spock retorted as he got Jim's pants open and began to tease him with the tips of his fingers through the thin fabric of his boxers, causing Jim to tilt his head back against the tree as his knees began to go weak.

"All these years and I still forget you can read my damn mind," Jim chuckled and Spock looked up at him before glancing around.

"Might I suggest that before we become too distracted by our activities that we find a more private location?" he said and Jim nodded quickly.

"Yeah, right on the main trail might be a bad move," he agreed as he and Spock headed off the track and into the rapidly darkening forest.

Jim felt positively giddy. He felt like he was falling in love all over again, and he knew he needed to stop, to take control, to remember all the nights Spock had been away but he just couldn't help himself.

They walked far enough that the trail wasn't easily visible, and then stopped, Spock running his hand up Jim's arm and then onto his neck, finding its place on the back of his head, drawing their lips together once again.

"I think you were right about to do something, before we moved," Jim suggested, and Spock smirked slightly.

"I am unable to recall what-"

"Don't bullshit me, I'm not in the mood for games Spock," Jim said in a warning tone. It had been a long year with only his own right hand for company, and Spock certainly owed him this at the very least.

"And what is it that you are in the mood for, Captain?" Spock asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jim practically growled and pushed Spock so he dropped to his knees.

"Not Captain," Jim corrected as his fingers hurriedly finished unfastening his jeans.

Spock grabbed at his jeans, beginning to pull them down as Jim noticed the tiny flecks of white light beginning to flicker around them. Spock had inadvertently hit the button on the transporter device in his pocket to send them home.

"Shit," he muttered as they dematerialised, appearing a moment later in their thankfully empty living room.

Spock scrambled to his feet as Jim hurriedly fixed his pants, looking around quickly just in case. Not a second too soon the front door opened and Seren walked in alone, looking at them both suspiciously.

"What have I just interrupted?" she asked and Jim blushed pink.

"N-nothing! We just got home," he said, pausing to clear his throat as his voice came out _way_ too high pitched.

"You have a leaf in your hair," she said pointedly and Jim quickly ruffled his hair, grabbing the offending leaf and throwing it on the floor.

"Are you home now for the night or…?" Jim asked, trying to be nonchalant and ignore the throbbing in his pants.

"If you are requesting that I leave then-"

"No… no you don't have to leave. I mean, why would you? Nothing is going on here but I… uh…" Jim faltered. Spock stared at him but offered no help, his hair slightly out of place and doing nothing to support Jim's argument that nothing had been going on before she arrived.

"Leo is at the McCoy's, I was invited to stay for the evening also, though I declined the invitation initially I think I'll reconsider," she said with a small smile as she backed out of the door and closed it behind her.

"Shit," Jim breathed.

"Though I agree it is highly unfortunate that she is fully aware of what she interrupted, I am sure she is aware we engage in sexual intercourse," Spock pointed out and Jim pulled a face.

"What did I say about using the term 'sexual intercourse'?" Jim asked with a sigh.

"To not do so?"

"Exactly. Now the moment is gone. You've totally ruined it. It just sounds so… _gross_," Jim protested.

"Perhaps I can find a way to return you to your previous state of arousal?" Spock suggested and Jim raised an eyebrow.

"Well… what did you have in mind?"

* * *

"You going to tell me what's wrong?" Leo asked through the silence of the room.

He was sitting on the floor of Emily's bedroom; his back against her bed where she was laying sprawled out like she'd lost the will to live.

"I don't want to talk about it," she sighed.

"Sure you do, otherwise you wouldn't have let me come over tonight, so what's wrong?" he asked and she groaned, pulling her pillow over her face.

She hadn't wanted to talk to anyone about it.

"I can tell you've been crying too," he pointed out and she sat up.

"How?!" she demanded and he chuckled.

"You're sniffling a tiny bit, and your voice is a little scratchy… plus your Dad warned me when he let me in," he said with a smile. He tapped his fingers lightly on the carpet, trying to focus on ignoring the splitting pain in his head and the way he could feel sweat beading on his back though he felt frozen to the core. He was finding it damn near impossible to continue acting normally around her, but he would grit his teeth and force himself. He couldn't let her find out, he didn't want her to feel sorry for him, or worry about him, though he half-doubted she actually would.

"How can you hear that?" she asked and he shrugged.

"My eyes may not work, but my other senses have always compensated. I can hear really subtle things other people don't pick up on, little tones in their voices, come in handy to impersonate people," he said and she crawled to the edge of the bed, sitting so her thigh was only a few inches away from the side of his head.

"So c'mon darlin', what's the matter?" he said in a good enough impression of her father for Emily to shove his head and laugh at him, causing him to grin in the way she'd come to adore, that made her heart skip a beat because he just looked so _perfect_.

"Urgh… I just… promise you won't tell anybody?" she asked and he pulled a face.

"I'll make you a deal, you tell me your problem then I'll tell you a secret so you have something on me to use if I tell anyone what you've told me. Deal?" he offered and she laughed again, leaning back to lay flat on her bed with her head dangling over the side, around a foot away from his and tilted towards him to see his face as she spoke. He was staring straight ahead at the wall.

"My… boyfriend broke up with me," she sighed and he turned his face towards her.

"Who, G.I. Joe? Why is that anything to be embarrassed about?" he asked and she sighed.

"It's because of why he broke up with me," she said and he inclined his head expectantly.

"Go on…"

"Because I wouldn't sleep with him. He said I was… frigid. But I'm not, I swear, I just wanted to wait and-"

"There's nothing wrong with that," he interrupted. He looked… annoyed. "I hate when guys pull shit like this! Urgh. No wonder people think all men are pigs. Listen, if you didn't want to have sex with him and he was pressuring you then you breaking up is for the best. What a complete shit-stain to try and bully you into it. You deserve so much better than that. Want me to kick his ass for you?" he offered and she smiled. Leo couldn't help his mind racing. Suddenly he didn't feel nearly so weird for still being a virgin at twenty years old, especially if Emily had been living away for so long, and touring with a band, no doubt partying too.

"Thanks, but I'd kind of like to kick his ass myself," she said and he nodded.

"Can you wait until I can see, so I can watch?" he asked and she chuckled, shuffling slightly closer to him.

"So. Mr Kirk. Time for you to hold up your end of the deal," she prompted and he sighed and let his head droop against the mattress.

"Hey! None of this bullshit! A deal is a deal," she said, prodding him in the shoulder with one finger and making him squirm.

"Yeah yeah… uh… let me think of a good one," he said, falling silent for a moment.

_I'm in love with you? No. Too much._

_I might be dying? Also too much, don't want to make her cry again._

_I'm glad you've broken up with that piece of shit so now I can finally make a move?_

"I… pee sitting down?" he offered weakly and she snorted.

"Yeah, and find me someone on this side of the universe who doesn't already know that! Chris told everyone already!" she laughed and he gasped theatrically.

"Well shit, I thought that was still a secret! But I'll have you know it's difficult to aim without a visual reference," he shrugged but he was smirking at the same time.

She shook her head and pushed her hair back off her face. He had her blushing again, something she was beginning to find impossible to avoid around him. She was grateful he couldn't see her when she went so bright pink.

"A real secret, something nobody else knows," she said, shifting slightly closer again. He lifted his head and turned towards her, and if she didn't know he couldn't see her she would have sworn he was staring right into her soul with those damn deep chocolate-brown eyes.

"I uh… hmm," he said thoughtfully, his tongue flicking out over his lips for the quickest flash of a second before he leaned towards her.

"Where's your ear? I don't want anyone else overhearing this," he said and she took his hand and placed it on her ear, allowing him to lower his mouth right to it until she could feel the tickle of his exhales on her skin, sending shivers down her spine.

He blew a loud, wet raspberry right into her ear and she grimaced, shoving him away as he started laughing.

"You're a mean boy," she pouted and he smirked.

"I'm sorry, it was just too easy," he laughed, holding his hands up in surrender as she snatched up her pillow, hitting him square in the face with it.

"Ooooh, you're a bad person!" he said, pointing at her accusingly.

"How?" she asked as he scrambled to turn around so he could back away from her.

"You just hit a poor, defenceless blind guy," he said and she laughed.

"You?! Defenceless?! I'm pretty sure you can defend yourself Leo," she said and he shrugged.

"Never had to, but if it's a pillow fight you want… then, you know, I might have to oblige," he said as he lunged forward and attempted to grab the pillow from her, missing entirely and accidentally grabbing her side, she swung the pillow around and caught his head with it again and he laughed as he scrambled to his feet before tumbling onto the bed with her still hitting him with the pillow at every possible opportunity.

They were both giggling as he tried to catch her wrist to stop the repeated onslaught of pillow hitting him in the face.

"Come on… I… oh come on!" he cried as she hit him again. He finally caught her wrists and held them gently but firmly enough so she couldn't hit him with the pillow again and she dropped it.

"Ha, I win," he grinned and she flounced back onto the bed, laying on her back beside him.

She realised just how much she wanted him to stay in her bed at that moment.

"Emily?" Carol's voice called through the closed door.

"Yeah?" she responded to her mother.

"Your father said no boys in your bed, especially not Kirk ones," laughed Carol and Leo smirked to himself.

"She pushed me. Mrs McCoy," he defended and Emily hit his arm playfully.

"Did not."

"Did too!"

"Did _not!"_

_"_You hit me with a pillow!" he protested.

"Emily, honey, can you keep your door open? It isn't that we don't trust you, it's just that… well… he's Jim's son, and if he's anything like Jim then…"

Emily muttered something that sounded like '_for fucks sake_' and stood up, crossing the room to hit the button to slide open the door.

"There, happy? We aren't doing anything. We're just two friends hanging out. You don't make David keep his door open when Chris comes over," she sulked.

"That's different sweetie. Like I said, Dr grumps is getting all fussy about it," Carol smiled and Emily shrugged, leaving the door open and walking back over to the bed and sitting on the edge beside Leo who was still laying diagonally across the bed on his back.

"Are you sweating?" she asked as she noticed his hair was slightly damp around his forehead.

"Hmm? No. I uh… no," he said quickly, pushing her hand away as she pressed her palm to his forehead.

"You're burning up!"

"No… honestly. I'm normally this temperature. Vulcan blood remember?" he said and she narrowed her eyes.

"You're a bad liar," she said and he shrugged.

"I'm not lying."

"Yes you are."

"Well yes I am, on the bed," he smirked and she sighed and rolled her eyes at his terrible joke.

"Seeing as we aren't allowed to hangout up here because my Dad has gone completely paranoid, should we go put that movie on? I'll make the popcorn," she offered and he sat up, pushing his hair up and messing it and then nodding.

He looked… uncomfortable.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked and he nodded quickly.

"OK. Movie time," she said, leading the way downstairs.

In the time it took her to make the popcorn and return to where she left Leo on the couch he was shivering and unable to hide it.

"Maybe you have the flu or something?" she suggested as she handed him a blanket.

"Yeah maybe," he said as he covered himself with it.

"I could get my Dad to-"

"No really. I'm fine, it's getting kinda late and I don't want to bother him. Let's just watch the movie. Which part was it you're going for again?" he asked and she smiled. The first thing she smiled about was the fact he said they were 'watching' the movie, when really he was only listening to it, and the fact that he was actually taking an interest made her smile too.

"Audrey, the main girl. I'll tell you when it's her," she said as she set up the movie to play.

"And it was this week you have your audition?" he asked and she made a 'mhm' sound in the affirmative as she chewed on a mouthful of popcorn.

"I bet you'll get it," he said and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah, you're just saying that."

"No really. I have a good feeling about it."

"Well I have a good feeling about your sight treatment working. When you can see we'll have to go travelling, with David and Christopher too, go and see the world and then go and see some other worlds," she said and he nodded.

"I'd like that," he said with an unconvincing fake smile that she didn't notice as she was watching the opening scene of the movie. The throbbing in his head was unbearable and he was losing control over his ability to hide it.

"Ok this is her," she pointed out as her chosen character began to sing.

Leo nodded, doing his best to still appear interested. He smiled as Emily sang along quietly beside him on the couch, subtly moving slightly closer to try and share some of her body warmth.

"You cold?" she asked as she noticed.

"Freezing," he admitted and she got up momentarily to turn up the room temperature.

She sat down so close to him that their thighs were pressed together, joining him under the blanket. Under any other circumstances he would have been panicking about her being so close to him, but it was mere minutes before he fell asleep, his head lolling onto her shoulder being the first she knew of it.

Initially Emily froze; unsure as to if she should wake him up or let him stay there. Finally ready to admit she was experiencing a huge crush on her childhood friend, she relaxed back into the couch slightly, pulling the blanket higher as she felt him shivering again.

It was around half an hour before he stirred, almost as if he had woken up but didn't want to move. She reached up one hand to gently stroke his hair and he sighed contentedly, shifting to lay on his side with his head in her lap.

"If my Dad catches you with your head in my lap like that he's going to skin you alive," she giggled and he sighed sleepily.

"I can't see where my head is, so I'll play dumb," he mumbled.

"You'll risk the wrath of Leonard McCoy over using my leg as a pillow?"

"Anytime," he mumbled as he began to drift back off to sleep.

Emily smiled to herself as she continued to watch the movie alone, Leo fast asleep with his head still in her lap. She must have fallen asleep herself because the next thing she knew someone was gently shaking her shoulder and the warmth of Leo's head in her lap was gone.

"Hey, sorry for waking you, but I should probably go home seeing as it's like three in the morning," Leo whispered. She blinked sleepily. The lights had all gone off as well as the movie and the room was dark.

"S'three in the mornin'?" she whispered, still half asleep.

"Yeah. I guess we were both really tired," he whispered back. There was a moment of silence between them.

"You should stay, we should just stay here," she sighed, stretching her arms out slightly.

"I can't, I shouldn't," he whispered and she nodded.

"I know. But my Dad is working tomorrow and I could sneak you out in the morning?" she offered.

"I… it'd be wrong of me."

"But how will you get home now?" she asked.

"Walk. I have legs."

"But it's dark!" she hissed and he chuckled.

"It's always dark."

"Smartass. Just… stay?"

He was silent for a few long moments.

"Can I have an extra blanket?" he asked and she smiled.

"My bed is much warmer than down here."

"You… want me to… sleep in your bed? But then where will you sleep?" he asked and she sighed before chuckling to herself.

"You're so clueless it's adorable."

* * *

_I can't._

Jim held his breath and gripped the bedsheets with so much force he was convinced he was going to rip them.

_You can and you will._

He gasped as Spock's teeth sunk into his neck as he slammed into him once again, his hand stroking his length at a desperate pace.

_I can't!_

Jim whimpered. It was almost too much. Spock inside of him again, both physically and mentally, mind-numbing pleasure ripping through every molecule of his being as he tried to focus on maintaining any kind of control.

"I… Spock, fuck," Jim gasped as Spock increased his pace, each and every thrust hitting_ exactly_ the right spot, making him see stars when he closed his eyes.

He was trying to keep his eyes open though, to see the determination, the pure _possessiveness_ on Spock's face. The dark eyes so much darker than usual, hair mussed, Vulcan control entirely gone to shit as he gave himself over to Jim in a way he hadn't done in a long time, their bond fully open and causing them both to feel slightly lightheaded as they lost themselves in each other.

"Come," Spock ordered and Jim could have _sobbed_ as his third orgasm in as many hours tore through him, the peak of the pleasure so high it was difficult to distinguish from pain.

Gasping for breath he did his best to keep his legs wrapped around Spock's waist as he thrust twice more before hitting his own release, burying himself to the hilt and holding still as he bit his lip to stop the moans from escaping. Jim loved him in that moment. All control gone, bar that one little attempt at keeping quiet.

"God… I am getting way too old to go that many times in one go," Jim panted as Spock carefully pulled out. The human winced slightly and the Vulcan caressed his arm apologetically.

"Are you injured?" Spock asked as he lay beside Jim.

_Not injured, but I'm pretty sure I'll be limping in the morning_ Jim sent back through the bond, too tired to even use his voice.

"It has been, regrettably, a long time since our last encounter of this nature," Spock said and Jim chuckled, shifting closer to him and wrapping him in his arms.

"I know. Been so long I almost forgot what it even felt like. Totally worth the wait though," he smiled and the Vulcan placed a kiss on his forehead.

They both lay in silence, listening to each other breathe as they both allowed their bodies to return to normal.

"Did you hear Leo come home?" Jim asked suddenly and Spock took a moment to try and remember.

"I did not notice anyone enter the house," he said and Jim slipped from his arms and snatched up his boxers from the floor, no doubt going to check.

He returned a minute later.

"Dirty little stop-out isn't here," Jim sighed as he crawled back into bed, re-settling in Spock's arms.

"It is logical to assume he is with Emily McCoy. Perhaps she is offering him comfort," Spock suggested and Jim shook his head.

"Bones told me Emily doesn't know about his illness. He goes over there and tires himself out pretending to be fine, she's oblivious to it all so he must be a damn good actor."

"He managed to convince his own twin that he is fine," Spock pointed out.

"True," Jim agreed, fingertips starting to trace small circles on Spock's side as he closed his eyes.

"I find it odd that he'd stay over there this late though," Jim thought aloud.

"As I previously stated. Perhaps she is offering him…_ comfort_."

Jim finally caught on.

"Oh. _Oh._ Uh... maybe. Do you think that's what they're doing?"

"Their time together has increased by approximately seventy-four percent. I have become aware of a large amount of giggling, flirtatious comments, jokes containing poorly-concealed innuendo and occasionally play fighting whenever she visits him here. A logical conclusion based on this behaviour alone would be that they have formed a romantic attachment," Spock said and Jim frowned.

"I feel like he'd tell me. Especially if it was with Emily, he's wanted her for years… I think she's the _only _person he's ever wanted."

"Perhaps," Spock said sleepily and Jim kissed his neck softly.

"I'll ask him tomorrow, and talk to him about being… careful, I guess. I don't think Bones would take too kindly to it if he knocked up his little girl."

Spock chuckled slightly.

"I am certain the Doctor's reaction would be highly entertaining."

"Yeah, until he hypo's someone in the eyeball! I mean, I'm sure Leo _knows_ about all of this stuff, but he's never asked me about it."

"You worry entirely too much, T'hy'la," Spock mumbled as he began to fall asleep.

"Probably. Just… feels weird. Our babies are all grown up now," Jim whispered as he closed his eyes and tried to force himself to stop wondering if his youngest son had just left behind the last of his childhood innocence in Emily McCoy's bed.

* * *

**Please review if you feel that way inclined ;)**

**Coming up next chapter: Christopher coming back to San Francisco with a bit of a bang, David McCoy making an alarming personal realisation and Leo taking a big step.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Being woken by people arguing was never good.

Emily kept very still as she listened carefully to the conversation going on outside her door, a heavy arm draped across her waist pinning her to the bed. She opened her eyes slowly and was met with Leo's face on the pillow beside her, still completely fast asleep, hair sticking up at all angles, breathing slow and even. She smiled to herself, resisting the urge to kiss his slightly parted lips. She was now fully aware of the fact she was crushing on her friend, in a big way.

"Carol, I don't care. He _can't_ sleep in her bed!"

"Len, come on, I already checked in on them. They're both still wearing their clothes from yesterday, they probably just fell asleep watching a movie, I'm sure nothing happened," Carol soothed. Emily made a mental note to thank her mother later.

"It makes me uncomfortable!" Bones protested.

"I think you should trust them. I didn't hear a peep all night, and come on, it's _Leo._ He wouldn't do anything like that, and I don't think Emily would have deliberately had him stay over without asking our permission first. Get your panties out of their wad, Leonard, she's nineteen years old now, not a baby anymore."

"Damn it Carol, you're way too soft! If I had my way I'd be grabbin' him by the pointy ear and draggin' him home to his father, and the only reason I'm not is because of…" he said gruffly and Emily listened to his voice trailing off down the hallway, unable to hear the end of his sentence.

Her door hissed open and she closed her eyes quickly, pretending to be asleep as her mother looked in on them.

The door closed again and she snuggled closer to the warm body sharing her bed, causing him to stretch and wrap his arm around her more tightly, shifting closer and nuzzling his face into her hair.

Butterflies felt like they were going to erupt from her stomach at any moment.

He tensed and then pulled away quickly, as if he had realised what he was doing.

"Sorry, I uh… sorry," he said quietly, his voice scratchy and deeper than usual.

"Mmm no, come back, you're warm," she protested, pulling him close again. She felt him smile against her neck.

"I'm a cuddly sleeper, apparently," he mumbled and she smiled.

"It's nice. Sometimes everyone needs to cuddle."

They were silent for a few minutes. Leo's heart was pounding and his mind racing.

_I'm cuddling._

_With Emily._

_In her bed. Her actual bed. Where I slept… with her next to me._

He loved the way her body felt next to him, a perfect fit in his arms. The smell of her hair, strawberry shampoo as usual, the silky texture against his face.

_Too soon to ask her to be my girlfriend? I'll have to ask Jim._

_Oh god… Bones is going to castrate me._

"Does… your dad know I'm here?" he whispered and she giggled.

"Oh yes."

"Fuck," he whispered and she poked him in the ribs.

"Potty mouth."

"Don't care," he stuck out his tongue and she grinned.

"Is he going to rip off my balls?" he asked and she chuckled, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"Probably. But if you're lucky you'll get anaesthetic," she chuckled and he yawned.

"I can't wait. Jesus. Wish I hadn't slept in my jeans, not comfortable, might hurt _less_ to cut off my balls," he grumbled as he shifted a little, trying to get some relief from the discomfort caused by the too-tight denim.

"You're such a drama queen!"

"Am not."

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Yeah, you really are Leo," she said firmly, wriggling away from him and getting out of bed, stretching and yawning.

"So… breakfast?" he hinted with an innocent smile and she grinned at him.

"What is it with boys and food?" she asked and he shrugged.

"Food is good," he answered simply. "Ooh. Do you have cereal?" he smirked and she rolled her eyes. David had told her _all_ about Leo and Christopher's eating habits.

* * *

Jim was at his desk when his comm. sounded. He'd been early to work that day. Leo hadn't come home at all the previous night, but he wasn't worried. He knew he'd either have slept at Christopher's apartment in the city or at the McCoy's.

The fresh hickey on his neck, just peeking out above his uniform collar and the way he was walking with a spring in his step despite the occasional wince gave away to anyone who saw him just _why_ he was in such a good mood.

"Kirk here," he said cheerily as he flipped the communicator open.

"Jim. Your kid is in bed with my kid. I don't like it and I damn well don't approve of it! You need to talk to him and tell him to keep his damn lecherous hands to himself," Bones grumbled and Jim smirked.

"Wait… Leo is in bed with David? Well shit, Bones! Never saw that coming, I guess we'd better-"

"Not David, you insufferable brat! Emily. He's in bed with my little girl! Carol said they were cuddling this morning. _Cuddling._ Under my damn roof! This aint acceptable Jim!"

Jim sniggered to himself and flicked his tongue across his lips which were far too dry for his liking.

"Uh… were they naked?"

"No."

"Did you hear them doing anything? Any… y'know, screaming, or moaning or mysterious bumps in the night?" Jim's smirk grew.

"No but-"

"I'm pretty sure they're just friends Bones… they were probably just hanging out and fell asleep. Leo is one hell of a cuddly sleeper, I mean I've woken up to him in _my_ bed spooning with me before now; he just likes to be warm. I will talk to him though, he can't be staying over without asking first and not in her room if you don't give permission," Jim offered and Bones sighed.

"I just… Jim I'd love it for somethin' to happen between them someday, just when they're _older_. He's the best, sweetest damn kid I've ever met… but I just… I don't want her gettin' hurt. I don't want her bein' in the middle of… y'know, everythin' that's going on right now, especially since she's got no idea about any of it just yet," Bones said and Jim nodded to himself.

"Yeah. Sure. I understand that. Should I not talk to him? Do you want to?" Jim offered and the doctor sighed again.

"Well, let's try and establish if we think anythin' is actually goin' on first. We should go out or somethin', _all_ of us because we haven't done that for too long, and watch how they behave around each other. Chris gettin' home soon?"

"Yeah I think he gets back either today or tomorrow. We could all go out… I don't know, tomorrow night?" Jim offered and Bones mumbled a yes before saying something about having to go to work.

Jim let him go and continued with his work, feeling like he was getting through everything much quicker than usual.

Scotty stopped by his office to talk to him about a new ship in the design process, making a crude comment about the marks on Jim's neck and beating a hasty retreat when Jim offered to explain in detail exactly what he and Spock had been doing in order to leave him with those marks.

Jim looked up at the clock and upon seeing it was only quarter to ten, left his desk to hunt down a cup of coffee. Normally he would have had three or four by this point, but today it was his first, the residual glow of the previous night and the knowledge he and Spock were well on the way to patching things up keeping him contented and happy and without the need for too much excess caffeine.

* * *

_"Fuck," David whimpered as a very talented tongue circled the sensitive tip of his throbbing erection._

_"More," he hissed, trying to force their head down, grabbing their hair, short and soft and golden._

_"Ask nicely," Christopher smirked up at him from where he was kneeling before him._

_"I won't beg you," David said through gritted teeth and Chris' dark eyes glinted mischievously as he blew cold air on the wet flesh, causing David to grab at the wall behind him as his knees threatened to go weak._

_"Sure you will," Christopher mumbled as he agonisingly slowly took the entirety of his friend into his mouth, David's mouth falling open as he hit the back of his throat, a shaky exhale escaping his body. Chris swallowed hard and David let his head fall back against the wall, legs trembling as he tried to not let himself collapse._

_"Chris, please," he muttered, looking back down to see dark eyes fixed on his own blue ones._

_"That sounds kind of like begging," Chris smirked as he let David's cock slip from his lips._

_"Since you asked so nicely, I'm going to give you what you want. Get on the bed, now," he ordered and David couldn't comply quickly enough, crawling obediently onto the bed and laying on his back, looking up at the part-Vulcan expectantly._

_"Oh no. Flip over, and get on your knees," Chris said in a low voice and David forced back a moan as he did as he was told, feeling completely and entirely debauched as he put himself on show for his friend who climbed onto the bed behind him, pushing him forward so his elbows were on the bed with his ass in the air._

_"So well behaved," Christopher mumbled, trailing one rough hand over David's lower back and then down onto his ass, grabbing tightly for a moment before letting go._

_"I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't be able to remember your own name once I'm done with you," Christopher breathed, teeth gripping David's earlobe firmly and tugging as one hand circled his throat._

"Fuck!" David cried out as he woke with a start, flushed and panting as his orgasm hit him.

He went limp against his mattress as he took several deep, shuddering breaths, trying to calm his overexcited body.

"God damn it," he muttered as he threw himself out of bed, the uncomfortable wet spot in the front of his boxers very obvious as he looked down. He quickly snatched up a pair of pyjama pants from his affectionately named 'floordrobe' and pulled them on before stomping down the hallway to the bathroom for a _very_ cold shower.

This was the third consecutive day he'd been woken by an extremely vivid dream. Normally, a sexual dream wouldn't bother him. He didn't care. He was only eighteen; these things would still happen from time to time. It was the other party in the dream that bothered him.

Christopher George Kirk.

In all of his undeniable sexiness.

His _best friend. _Fucking him.

And the worst part? He fucking _loved_ it.

David removed the pyjama pants and threw them aside as he switched on the shower, getting in still wearing his boxers and removing them once they were soaked through, balling them up and throwing them into the corner of the cubicle.

Sometimes he'd forget he wasn't in his dorm at the academy.

He closed his eyes tightly as he tried to rid the images of the latest dream from his mind.

The first one had been almost two weeks ago, and he'd had a few more, but the last three nights in a row had him worried.

"David McCoy you're straight, you don't want Chris Kirk," he muttered to himself as he washed quickly, the cold water bringing his skin out in goosebumps.

The only problem was that no matter how hard he tried to convince himself, David had come to the conclusion that he _did_ want Christopher Kirk. He wanted him very much.

"Straight straight straight. Boobs. Think about boobs. And hot girls in short skirts… and not… pointy ears…" he trailed off his mumbled conversation with himself as he shut off the shower, grabbing a towel from the rail and roughly drying off with it before wrapping it around his waist and bounding downstairs to get himself some breakfast.

He walked into the kitchen and paused as he noticed Emily and Leo sitting at the table, his sister looking undeniably gooey-eyed at the younger Kirk twin whose hair was all over the place and looked like he'd slept in his clothes.

"So. You had a cosy little sleepover huh?" he asked as he put two and two together. Leo immediately fell silent and returned his attention to the stack of burnt toast on his plate.

"Yeah. Not that it's any of your business," Emily said firmly and David smirked.

"Dad'll kill you. Nobody is allowed to stay over, especially without asking first," David pointed out as he walked to the fridge and pulled out a box of eggs, setting them down on the counter and going to the cupboard to get himself a frying pan, deciding he wanted omelette for breakfast.

If there was one skill he was pleased he'd inherited from living at home, it was the ability to cook well for himself. Emily had always been a terrible cook and he often wondered how she'd survived during the years she'd lived away from home.

"She try'na kill you with her cooking there Leo?" he asked as he began cooking and Leo shook his head.

"I like my toast like this. I always burn it deliberately at home," he said and David raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? Hmm. That's interesting. I remember you liking your toast barely cooked at all. Kind of like warm bread," he said and Leo blushed slightly.

"Uh... yeah… I used to, but this is just perfect," he said as he took another bite. David could tell he was forcing himself to eat it. He looked… pained. Uncomfortable. A strange greenish tint lingering on his cheekbones.

"You don't look like you're enjoying it," David shrugged.

Leo finished the slice of toast he was eating and then stood up from the table, mumbling that he'd be right back before leaving the room in a hurry, knocking his shoulder into the doorway as he miscounted his steps.

"What's wrong with him today?" David asked and Emily shook her head.

"I don't know. Last night he fell asleep at like nine-thirty, we were watching a movie and he just like… flaked out. I've never seen him sick before or-" she stopped talking as she listened, the faint sound of someone coughing in the bathroom down the hall.

"Is he throwing up?" David asked, pulling a face.

"I don't know. Sounds like it," Emily said, running her hands through her hair and sighing.

"So he slept in your room huh? Is he uh… _identical_ in every department to Christopher then?" David teased. Emily had seen the picture of Chris in those tight white underpants too; it would have been hard to miss with it being flashed all over town, and David couldn't help but slip in the comment to see how she'd react.

"Wouldn't know," Emily said flatly, taking a sip of her orange juice.

"You mean you weren't fucking like horny rabbits in there?" David asked and Emily set her glass down hard on the table.

"No. We weren't! We didn't even kiss, we didn't do anything. There's nothing going on between us David, so butt out of my damn business," she growled, standing up from the table and going to check on Leo.

"Leo… are you alright?" she asked as she gently tapped the bathroom door. She could hear the water running and after a few seconds it stopped.

The door slid open and she looked at him carefully. His face was still damp from where he'd obviously washed it and he was very pale.

"I… should probably go home," he mumbled, scratching the back of his head and grimacing.

"Were you sick?" she asked and he hesitated, looking conflicted for a moment, then nodding as he accepted it was pointless to lie to her.

"Want me to call Jim?" she offered and he shook his head.

"No, Jim'll be at work. I don't need to call anyone though, I can walk home, it isn't far and-"

"Bullshit. You're not walking home. You're obviously sick. I'll get David to drive you-"

"No. Emily really. I'm ok," he insisted and she sighed.

She could see him visibly shivering as they stood in the doorway.

"You're shaking," she pointed out.

"No I'm not," he said stubbornly and she rolled her eyes.

"Come here," she dragged him over to the sink and pushed a bottle of mouthwash into his hands. He accepted gratefully and washed his mouth out with the lurid green liquid, before then accepting the glass of water she was instructing him to sip, leading him back to the kitchen and forcing him to sit back at the table.

David gave her a confused look as she left the room again, picking up a communicator on the side and calling a number she had saved only for reference and had never actually called.

"Spock here."

"Mr Spock… it's Emily McCoy. Leo is… um… here, and he isn't feeling too well, I don't know if he maybe has some kind of flu… I was just wondering if you'd be able to come and pick him up? He's talking about walking home, but I don't really want him to do that if he isn't feeling well," she said and there was barely any pause before the response.

"Certainly. Thank you for informing me," he said quickly and Emily mumbled a goodbye before going back into the kitchen to find Leo scowling in her general direction.

"Oh don't look so pissy. There's no way you could walk. Go see my dad too, get a flu shot or something, you need one," she said and he snorted, letting his head fall into his hands.

"What? What's funny about that?" she asked and he shrugged.

"Nothing… I… forget it," he said, falling into a stubborn silence until Spock arrived a few minutes later.

"Trouble in paradise?" David smirked as Emily saw Leo out with barely a goodbye mumbled between them.

"Fuck you," she hissed, storming up the stairs to her room and slamming the door as best she could with the stupid sliding mechanism that drove her mad.

* * *

The next twenty-four hours passed in a blur. Emily didn't understand why Leo had suddenly closed off and shut her out and had tried to call him twice and got no response. Had she known the reason for his lack of response was that he had spent most of that time asleep or trying to stop himself being violently ill, she may have been less annoyed.

Christopher had moved back into his apartment, and though nobody had yet seen him he'd spoken to Jim to inform him he was home.

David McCoy was on his way over to Chris' place to meet him before they went out for the evening. Bones and Jim had called a big family get-together, and David had reluctantly accepted the invitation.

He wanted to avoid Christopher, having had yet _another_ dream about him the previous night. He didn't quite know how he'd face him and felt his stomach working itself into a nervous knot as he approached the apartment building.

"God damn," David muttered under his breath as he noticed the part-Vulcan heading his way.

It was raining, hard, and Chris's already tight shirt was soaked through and stuck to his body, every bulging muscle on show. He was running so hard David didn't know how he was maintaining it. Each step precise, leg muscles contracting powerfully as he propelled himself forwards; face set and determined. He looked downright dangerous.

He ran right past David who was still staring at him and into the building, David following and frowning when the part-Vulcan turned around to face him, breathing hard as he finally stopped.

"Well, don't you just look all scrawny," he said and David scowled, crossing his arms across his chest. Before Chris had moved away they'd been a similar size, but Chris had gained a somewhat ridiculous amount of muscle during the few short weeks he'd been gone.

"And you look like a steroid-pumping asshole," David said through gritted teeth as he joined his friend in the elevator. Christopher snorted and ran a hand through his wet hair, flicking water on David who recoiled and glared at him.

"Good to see you too man," Christopher said as they waited to reach his floor.

"Yeah yeah, pointy-eared douchebag," David muttered as the doors opened.

He did everything in his power to _not_ look at his friends ass as he walked in front of him, but his tight running shorts did nothing to help with that and he found himself staring as Christopher let them into the apartment.

"My brother moved back home?" Chris asked as he looked around the obviously empty apartment and David shrugged.

"I don't know man, haven't seen too much of him."

"Why?" Chris opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, beginning to chug from it.

"I don't know… we don't have all that much to talk about at the moment. He's banging my sister though and-"Christopher interrupted by choking on his water and spraying a mouthful all over the kitchen.

"_What?!"_

"He was in my kitchen yesterday morning after sleeping in Emily's bed, but then he seemed kinda sick and he went home in a hurry," David explained and Chris nodded.

"He's been weird as hell lately. Maybe the last month, six weeks, something hasn't been right. It's just things like he's taking a semester off school, but wont tell me why, and he's blocked our mental link… he barely even talks to me, we haven't spoken in maybe two weeks? But anyway, he actually had sex? With Emily?" he asked and David shrugged.

"I would assume so. He definitely had sex hair, and the way she was lookin' at him was that kinda look that would make either of us run away from a woman."

"He always has sex hair; he can't see to fix it."

"True," David shrugged again.

"See I was beginning to doubt if he _could_ have sex, he's shown no interest in it… like ever, it's weird."

Christopher leant back against the kitchen cabinet and yawned, running a hand through his hair. He hadn't been sleeping and he knew why.

He knew he couldn't hold back for much longer. His blood was burning and there was only so much he could do to keep the fever from consuming him entirely. He'd need to work quickly to find whoever it was that his mind was crying out for.

"Are you going tonight? To this stupid… get together?" David asked and Chris nodded, taking another gulp of water.

"Yeah I was just going to shower and get dressed."

David nodded and Christopher looked at him carefully, their eyes meeting and lingering on each other for a few uncomfortable seconds before Chris walked away in the direction of the bathroom.

David sat and waited on the couch until his friend was ready, and the two left together to reluctantly attend the meal with both of their families.

* * *

Leo winced as his brother nudged him a little _too_ roughly from across the table.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? What have you lost like… twenty, thirty pounds?"

"I don't know, not hungry," he said and Christopher looked at him carefully.

"You're sick," he said and Leo shook his head quickly.

"No, I'm not sick I just-"

"Christopher, leave him alone," Seren interrupted with a sigh.

"Make me," Christopher snapped and Spock raised one hand.

"You are all, apparently, adults now. Stop behaving like children," Spock said firmly and Jim nodded. His piercing blue eyes were fixed on Leo and the way he'd pushed his food around his plate, barely eating more than a few mouthfuls.

Jim and Bones had shot each other a meaningful glance when Emily had sat next to Leo. They didn't talk much, but the way she looked at him told both men everything they needed to know about the pair. She'd fallen in a big way, and she knew something was wrong with him by the concern all over her face.

Jim was doing his best to be subtle as he tried to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"So you got it then?"

"Yeah, I did, but only just. I have to work on the acting side of it a lot, but the musical side is pretty good," Emily was saying. Jim leaned closer, pretending to be listening to whatever Carol was telling him about. It was Starfleet business and he wasn't all that keen on talking work during what was meant to be a social evening.

"Well, yeah I mean… everything takes practice to get it right. I told you you'd get it though," Leo said with a smug smile.

"Oh shut up," Emily said with a smirk.

Bones cleared his throat loudly to interrupt the light flirting and Carol scowled at him. Emily seemed to become very aware all at once that her conversation was being listened to and immediately stopped talking, starting to examine her fingernails in close detail.

Leo nudged Jim's leg under the table with his foot and Jim looked at him to see his face had paled dramatically.

_Jim. I need to get out of here. I need a distraction._

"Uh… hey guys, I'd love to stick around longer but I need to get some stuff done before work tomorrow, and Leo needs to give me a hand with it," Jim said quickly.

"Hey are you alright? Your nose is bleeding," Joanna pointed out to Leo who fumbled for a napkin and used to it to wipe his face.

"I'm fine," he said stubbornly, dabbing at his nose again.

"Bullshit," said Chris loudly and Spock looked at Seren who looked at Bones.

"Leo are you-"

"Emily. Shut up. I'm fine," Leo said harshly, stumbling to his feet and snatching his jacket from the back of his chair. A stunned silence descended on the table as he walked away, Emily looking like she was on the brink of bursting into tears.

"Don't talk to my sister like that!" David yelled after him, but Leo was too focused to notice.

"Jim-" Spock began as Jim followed him quickly, finding his son just outside breathing heavily, his hands curled into fists.

"It's ok buddy, I got you," Jim said, putting one hand on his shoulder.

"I… I can't anymore. I can't act… I can't, I'm not fine, it hurts, everything… hurts," he spluttered as he burst into tears.

"Hey, shh, I know. I got you, it's going to be alright," Jim soothed, pulling him into a hug. He was relieved they'd chosen such a quiet place to go, the street was empty.

"You tell people whenever you're ready to tell people," Jim said and Leo nodded against his shoulder. It had been nearly six weeks, and Leo had tolerated more than it would take to break most people. He'd almost finished his chemo, with just one treatment remaining, and then it would be a matter of surgery and careful observation.

Jim didn't know how he'd done it. He'd seen Leo at his absolute worst, sweating and shaking with hot and cold, sick and unable to eat anything, in so much pain he was silent for hours as he focused his mind on coping with it, struggling to get out of bed, or up out of a chair, but he'd seen him dig deep to pretend he was alright around Christopher and Emily and David. The amount of strength he had shown was admirable, but Jim knew the hardest part was only about to begin.

"They already know. Chris knows, Emily knows, they just don't know specifics," Leo said as he took a deep steadying breath and pulled himself together.

"Well… people were always going to notice, you know? You've lost weight, you look tired, you sleep a lot more… there are things you couldn't hide about this. There's no shame in it. You're getting through, just… maybe it is time to tell them," Jim said and Leo nodded slowly.

"Can we go home?"

"Sure, let's get the car," Jim said with a sad smile, putting Leo's hand on his shoulder so he could lead him, sending a message across his bond with Spock.

_I'm going to take him home and come back; he's just a bit overwhelmed right now._

Leo was shaking by the time Jim got him to the car and Jim removed his own jacket, draping it over his son's shoulders who put up a half-hearted struggle at not accepting it.

_I am highly concerned for his health. Is it wise for him to continue with the vision procedure? Surely he should focus on recovery at this point._

Jim cranked up the hover-car's climate control to the highest setting and drove Leo home carefully.

"Dad?" Leo asked, breaking the tense silence that had formed between them.

"Yeah?"

_I can't stop him Spock, he wants to see and the possible cure is there, he needs to try it._

"I… I don't think I want to carry on with anymore chemo stuff," Leo said quietly and Jim felt a cold wave of dread wash over him.

"You…" he paused and swallowed the hideous lump forming in his throat.

"You know that finishing the course gives you your best shot right?"

Leo nodded and ran a hand through his hair, then held it out towards Jim so he could see the few strands that had come away as he'd touched it.

"I don't want to be bald, and I feel like even one more is going to be too much," Leo said firmly and Jim sighed as he looked at the few golden strands of hair. It wasn't much, but if he were to continue with the treatment it would only get worse.

"You're smart enough to make your own decision, but you do realise you'll be getting your head shaved anyway for you know… the surgery," Jim said and Leo smiled knowingly.

"No necessarily."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"All in good time Jimbo. You'll see. Or maybe I'll see. If I'm lucky."

"I wish you'd tell me when you're doing that. I don't like all this secrecy," Jim sighed as he parked outside the house.

"It's already done," Leo said and Jim frowned.

"How did you… how did she… does Bones know?"

"Yeah. He knows. We made him swear he'd keep it a secret. Seren is probably the smartest person alive right now. She used the transporter to beam that little piece of brain where it needed to be, then she beamed me across the room once it was in there, to make it all… integrate properly," he explained and Jim felt a surge of pride for his daughter and the ingenious solution mixed with a flash of annoyance that nobody had told him this was happening.

"Bones was freaking out; he was having a complete panic attack that something would go wrong."

"I think if I'd have known I would have too. Did it hurt?" Jim asked and Leo shook his head.

"No. At least, I don't think it did. I don't hurt any more than usual," he shrugged.

"I can't see anything yet, if that was going to be your next question. It needs time to like… all graft together properly apparently. I don't have a whole lot of hope for anything happening if I'm totally honest, but it has to be worth a try," he said as he hauled himself out of the car.

Jim could barely look at the way every step seemed to hurt him as he made his way up to the house.

* * *

By the time Jim returned the dynamic had changed entirely. The atmosphere at the table wasn't nearly as friendly as it had been earlier. Christopher had left before Jim arrived, Spock silently telling Jim that he had seemed in such a rage it was probably for the best.

"I'm going to get out of here," David announced, getting to his feet and pulling on his jacket.

"Where are you going?" Joanna asked and David shrugged.

_He has been behaving strangely the whole evening._ Spock pointed out to Jim.

_Yeah… he has. I wonder what's up with him? Do you think maybe he knows what's going on with Christopher and his Pon Farr coming up and it's freaked him out?_

David said a hasty goodbye to everyone at the table before making a swift exit, pulling his communicator from his pocket as he did so.

Spock watched him carefully, and as David turned to glance back at the table, unintentionally caught his eye.

_David is going to check on Christopher. He is highly concerned about him._

Jim frowned.

_How do you know that?_

Spock leant back in his chair slightly and looked at Jim.

_I am beginning to suspect that David McCoy could in fact be Christopher's T'hy'la._

Jim choked on his drink as he took a sip and Bones glanced up at him.

"Y'alright Jim?" he asked as everyone fell silent as he began a coughing fit.

"Fine- Bones," he spluttered. "I'm fine… just… thought my water would be better in my lung," he mumbled as he set the glass down.

_Hate to break it to you Spock, but Christopher doesn't like men… and I'm pretty sure neither does David. They're pretty much the two straightest men I know._

Spock quirked an eyebrow.

_As were you, when we initially met._

Jim did his best to hide the pink blush rising in his cheeks. Spock had a point.

"Is everything alright?" Seren asked and Jim gave her a meaningful look. She knew they were having a conversation, but didn't know about what in particular. Her guilt immediately surfaced and she began to talk rapidly.

"Look, if Leo told you about-"

"He did. Congratulations on your pioneering new surgical technique, just, next time before you use your brother as a guinea pig, please warn any of us first?" he asked and she looked at Spock guiltily.

"I was aware," Spock said and Jim's shoulders slumped.

"You… knew. And you didn't think to tell me? No wait.. you actively… _hid_ it from me? Why would you do that?" Jim asked and Bones raised an eyebrow.

"Jim, I didn't know that he knew I-"

"Bones. I'm not talking to you," Jim said coolly and Seren shrank into her seat. Spock held firm.

"I believed the information would have concerned you, I chose not to share it."

Joanna, Emily and Carol were watching the conversation with increasing awkwardness.

"Spock…" Jim began but then closed his mouth, sending his message silently instead.

_We're going to talk about this later._

"Have fun in the doghouse, hobgoblin," said Bones as he leant back towards his wife.

"You're in there too Bones," Jim said in a warning tone before turning to his daughter.

"I'm not exactly thrilled with you either Seren, I don't think that was fair of you to keep from me," he said and she nodded.

"Understood. In future I'll be sure to release all confidential medical information to-"

"Stop. All of you stop it," Emily cut in.

"Leo obviously didn't want to tell you, so just let him do whatever he wants. It isn't Seren's fault he's a selfish asshole, she has to respect his decision to keep it a secret. Anway, I'm leaving," she said, getting up and storming out before anyone could stop her.

"I think it's probably best if everyone leaves, you all need to cool off, Jesus, it's like something off a bad British soap-opera," sighed Joanna and Jim nodded.

"Yeah. It's time to call it a night," he agreed and with a final glare at Bones he got to his feet.

"That went really well, huh?" Joanna said to Jim with a sorry smile as they got outside. Jim sighed and shrugged.

"Yeah. I miss the days when the extent of the arguments was who stole who's toy and didn't give it back," Jim said a with a small smile.

"I know. It's strange having everyone back here and grown up. It's almost like Emily coming home and David dropping out of the Academy was the catalyst for everything changing," she said and Jim's eyes widened.

"He dropped out? Why?" he asked and Joanna froze.

"He… didn't tell you? Oh well shit! Now I feel like an asshole," she sighed and Jim shook his head.

"No. Why did he do it? What happened?"

"He failed his pilots exam again, and he was told he had to repeat the year. But he decided to defer for a semester while he thinks about what to do… but… I mean from what I understand he isn't planning on going back."

Jim frowned. David McCoy had incredible potential at Starfleet. Jim had seen his aptitude test results and thought perhaps he was on the wrong track, that he'd do better in another field within Starfleet, but had kept his opinion to himself. David wanted to fly, and Jim wasn't going to be the one to tell him he shouldn't do it.

"Well, that's a real shame. I could probably talk to his instructor and out-rank them into making them give him another shot at the test," he said and Joanna smiled.

"I knew you'd say that."

"Well… if I'm good at one thing it's bending the rules," Jim said as he and Joanna parted with a 'see you soon' and a wave, walking to their separate cars to go home for the night.

Jim, Spock and Seren barely spoke the whole way home.

Seren felt guilty, Jim felt annoyed and Spock felt that he'd done nothing wrong.

Jim sighed as he closed the door behind him when they arrived home.

It was going to be far from straightforward to deal with the increasing amount of shit hitting the fan.

* * *

**~A/N~**

**Hey! I'm so, so sorry for taking so long to get this posted! I was really busy, then I was sick and needed to just get a shit-ton of sleep, and then I went away for a few days to like... the edge of the Earth, so I was without internet or even my laptop. SORRY!**

**Things are buiiilllddddiiinnnggggg! How long until it all explodes? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.**

**Next chapter in a few days, I should have some good amounts of time to write over this weekend so I'm feeling good about updating on Sunday :)**

**Please review if you feel that way inclined! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, glad you enjoyed my little teasing glimmer of Jim/Spock sexytime. There's plenty more of that in the pipeline ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**

**Can I just start by saying... 94 reviews for 8 chapters. I'm honestly speechless. Thank you endlessly, I really can't... I... mean seriously. Thank you. If you're a regular reviewer extra thank you for you, FOUR FOR YOU GLEN COCO, YOU GO GLEN COCO! (I hope you get that quote or I just seem weird, haha) And super, extra thanks to HogwartsPrincess7 for just being awesome and letting me bounce ideas off of her and stuff :D**

**So. This chapter goes a little back in time, talks about some more McCoy-ness, a bit of history for Emily and David, and then just... well... the beginnings of Pon Farr, so... kind of needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, smut warning!**

**Enjoy, folks! More to come soon! And do leave a review if you feel that way inclined xD**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

_"God, Carol she's so beautiful."_

_Leonard McCoy smiled proudly down at the newborn baby girl in his arms, barely an hour old, before looking up at her mother._

_"She is," she smiled. She was exhausted after ten hours in labour and a natural delivery, she'd refused even the discussion of a C-section. She'd done amazingly well, and Leonard found he respected her all the more for the sheer grit she'd shown._

_"Lieutenant Uhura," he said as he jabbed the button for the comm. panel on the wall._

_"Yes Doctor?" she responded, excitement evident in her voice._

_"Please update the ships population records with an addition of one if you'd be so kind," he said and Carol grinned as she reached out to gently brush her finger over the delicate skin of the new baby's forearm._

_"Yes Sir, right away. Congratulations to you both," she said and McCoy grinned._

_"Thanks Ny. Could you ask Jim to bring Joanna down to meet her baby sister when he has a minute?"_

_"Sure thing. Baby girl have a name yet?" she asked and Carol nodded, Leonard raising an eyebrow. They'd never agreed on a name._

_"Go on darlin', what you thinking?" he asked and Carol looked at the baby carefully. _

_"Emily Rose McCoy."_

_Leonard felt himself choke up. He hadn't cried throughout the whole thing, the last time he'd cried had been when Carol had told him she was pregnant. It wasn't something he had expected, but he'd found himself over the moon._

_"I love it," he mumbled and Carol nodded._

_"Thought you might."_

_"She don't have to have my name though, she could have-"_

_"Len. No. She's taking your name. And yes, that's a hint that you need to take steps towards me taking your name too," Carol hinted and he chuckled._

_"One thing at a time, darlin', see how you feel after the first six months of sleepless nights and if you aint killed me yet then we'll talk about it then," he said, taking Carol's hand and stroking her fingers with his own._

_There was no doubt in his mind he wanted her to be his wife one day. But he also knew, deep down, that he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment again. He trusted her, but it would take a lot of time to work up the courage to get down on one knee after how things had ended with Jocelyn._

_"What do you think, huh kiddo? Can you imagine me yelling 'Emily get your ass out of bed missy!' at you in about fifteen years time?" he asked the baby who didn't stir from her slumber. He grinned and looked up at Carol again._

_"Yeah. I love it. It's perfect for her."_

_They fell into a contented silence, Carol's eyes slipping closed as she started to give in to the exhaustion she was feeling. Leonard leaned over and brushed a few strands of blonde hair off her forehead before placing a gentle kiss there._

_The door slid open and Leonard turned his head, smiling as he saw Jim standing in the doorway, one twin clutched in his arms and Joanna at his side who immediately ran over to her father and new half-sister._

_"Daddy I want to hold!" she said firmly and Leonard shook his head._

_"No, no, what do we say?" he prompted and she sighed._

_"Please may I hold baby?"_

_"Better. Right. Hop up on here," he said, patting the side of the bed next to Carol who was already in a deep sleep._

_Joanna hopped up and sat down, eagerly looking at the bundle of blankets in her fathers arms._

_"Well hey look at that, you made a human," Jim grinned as he looked at the baby. Leonard moved the blankets back off her face so Jim could get a better look._

_"She's beautiful Bones, clearly takes after her mother and not you," Jim smiled and Leonard shrugged off the comment._

_"Wouldn't let you put him down again huh?" he asked of the twin Jim was clutching._

_"Nah he's still being really clingy. I tried to hand him over to Spock and he screamed so loud I thought he was gonna break something. Christopher is nothing like this, he'll let anyone hold him, but Leo here just… I don't know. He likes me most I guess. It's fine, apart from like when I want to sleep or shower or actually do anything," Jim sighed and Leonard shrugged._

_"Try tough love. Just put him in the crib and leave him scream himself out," he said as he carefully placed the baby in Joanna's lap, supporting her head with one hand and guiding Joanna's hand to take over._

_"She's so small Daddy," she grinned._

_"She is darlin', gotta be really careful with her head okay?" he said and Joanna nodded, peeking into the blankets again._

_"I can't even remember when mine were that small," Jim sighed as he looked at the newborn. The twins were six months old and growing so fast you could probably see it happening if you looked closely enough._

_"Pssh. Shut up Jim, it aint been that long."_

_"No, really, it feels like forever ago. She have a name yet?" Jim asked and Bones nodded, unable to keep himself from smiling again._

_"Emily Rose McCoy," he said and Jim smiled._

_"It's pretty."_

_"Yep."_

_"Carol choose it?" Jim asked and Bones raised an eyebrow._

_"How could you tell?"_

_"I don't know. It's a British name, figured Carol would have been the one to choose it," he shrugged._

_Baby Emily chose this moment to wake up and start wriggling, startling Joanna who was still holding her. She let out a few whimpers, her face crumpling and turning bright red._

_"Uh oh. Somebody is cranky," Jim smirked as Leonard took the baby back from Joanna._

_"Hungry probably," Bones said and Jim hoisted Leo a little higher in his arms._

_"Or just cranky. Here, let's switch, let me hold her, I bet Uncle Jim can make her stop crying," Jim said, offering Leo out to his friend._

_"Jim I don't know. Won't he cry? I don't wanna wake Carol," he said and Jim shook his head._

_"He looks pretty happy to me," Jim said, glancing down at his son who was staring blankly forwards, face relaxed and contented, the occasional quiet baby-gurgle coming from his lips._

_"Alright, baby-whisperer," Bones scoffed, accepting the part-Vulcan and handing over his new daughter to Jim who immediately went into full-scale baby mode._

_"Oh wow she's so awesome. Look at her little fingers Bones! I gotta talk to Spock, I want another one of these," Jim rambled and Bones rolled his eyes._

_"How did I know that would happen?! I knew as soon as you saw her you'd start talking about having more. Aren't three enough of a handful?"_

_Jim grinned._

_"Oh yeah. They run us ragged. They always co-ordinate their crying and needing new diapers with right when Spock and I are the most busy. Spock gets stressed, I laugh at him, it's all great fun, and I mean, I don't think one more would really make all that much difference at this point. I've forgotten what a full night's sleep feels like," Jim chuckled and Bones shook his head._

_"You're insane. You're gonna end up with ten kids at this rate. Breeding like tribbles," he said and Jim laughed._

_"Vulcan's are endangered. I'm just doing my service at helping them rebuild," he smiled._

_"You forget the stress on everyone else Jim, men aren't meant to have babies for a reason," he pointed out and Jim shrugged._

_"Yeah but even if I was a woman I'd still get a C-section."_

_"Lazy."_

_"If you were a woman and you were having a baby, you'd honestly choose to do it the natural way?" Jim asked with a raised eyebrow._

_"Uh. I guess you have a point. Carol is insane," he chuckled, lifting the still settled Leo a little higher in his arms._

_"How long… was like… I don't know. How long did that even take?" Jim asked hesitantly. He obviously wanted to be nosy but didn't want to appear too rude with his questions._

_"Ten hours," Bones said bluntly and Jim's eyes widened._

_"Holy shit. Remind me to give Carol like… a medal or something," he said and Bones chuckled lightly._

_"You and me both."_

_Jim shifted Emily in his arms as she started to squirm again._

_"Yeah. She's hungry, she's doing the hungry face kind of thing," Jim said as Emily started to whimper._

_Leo's eyes followed the sound and he reached out a hand. Jim smiled at his son._

_"He likes her," Jim smirked and Bones glared as they swapped babies carefully._

_"I'll leave you guys to it," Jim said as he stood up to leave the room, Leo still grabbing at the air in the direction of Emily's whimpering._

_"Thanks Jim," Bones said absentmindedly as he tried to get his baby daughter to settle._

_"Should I buy a hat now or…?" Jim smirked as he opened the door and looked back._

_"Me and Carol aint getting' married yet Jim, so hold your horses," McCoy muttered._

_"I'm not talking about you and Carol," Jim chuckled, nodding down to his son who was positively grinning and wriggling in Jim's arms._

_"Just… shut up Jim, get out," Bones ordered and with a final laugh, Jim was gone._

* * *

Emily stared at the ceiling. Everyone was already awake, she could hear movement around the house, sometimes voices, plates and cups in the kitchen, clattering on the surfaces occasionally as breakfast was eaten then put away.

She could still hear Leo's voice clearly in her mind.

_Emily. Shut up. I'm fine._

"Fucking pointy-eared, hobgoblin, green blooded, space elf bastard," she hissed as she finally threw herself out of bed and stormed downstairs.

"Morning darlin'," said her father as she entered the kitchen. She grunted a response and grabbed a glass from the counter, pouring herself a glass of juice and then settling at the table.

"A very sorry young man called earlier, I told him I'd have you give him a call back when you woke up," he said and Emily shrugged.

"He's an asshole. I don't _get_ him. I don't want to talk about it anyway. What the hell is going on with both of them? They were both being weird as hell last night," she said, taking a sip from her orange juice.

"Not my place to say darlin'," he said, eyes flicking down the newspaper he was reading.

Emily huffed and leant back in her chair.

"What exactly did Leo say when he called?" she asked and her father shrugged.

"I don't know, call him back, not my business," he said gruffly and Emily frowned.

"Fine," she said, getting up from the table and going back up to her room. She grabbed her communicator from her bedside table. She'd had two missed calls and a text message. All were from Leo.

_Jim tells me calling more than once is desperate. So maybe I'm a little desperate, but I'm a lot more sorry._

Her anger melting away instantly, she couldn't help but smile a little bit as she commed him back, he picked up almost instantly.

"Emily, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine. But as payback I get to nipple-pinch you, or kick you in the balls, your choice," she offered and he paused.

"One nipple or both?"

"Most definitely both. You owe me big," she said and he broke into a relieved laugh.

"Alright. You can nipple-pinch me, or slap me in the face, but you leave my balls out of this," he said and she giggled.

"Alright. What happened anyway?" she asked and he sighed.

"I… it's a Vulcan thing. I'll explain one day. I'm fine though, really," he said and she frowned.

"It's true what Chris was saying yesterday, you've lost weight."

"I have. But… I mean. I was kind of a fatass before," he said and she snorted.

"Hardly."

"Well… I was a little rounder than I wanted to be. Working out is a hazard when you can't see anything. I almost hit Chris in the face with a dumbbell when he took me to the gym once, pretty hilarious," he said and she smirked.

"I bet he'd have loved you for that, breaking his precious pretty face," she said and he laughed.

"Yeah I know. He was never so keen to go with me after that, also there was something of a locker-room incident."

"Oh?" she asked, curious.

"Apparently, I'm way too… like… blasé about being naked around strangers. Don't see why it's a big deal, I mean, it's the guys locker room, pretty sure I don't have anything they don't see every day, not that I know or anything, but yeah, Chris like… got upset with me for it. And then he went and posed for pictures in tighty-whiteys, kind of a hypocrite," he said and she chuckled. She could listen to him talk all day. The way he just said whatever was going through his mind, almost as if he didn't filter it at all, it all just rolled from his brain right out of his mouth.

"That's hilarious."

"Yeah well, you know, brothers are a pain in the ass," he said and she nodded.

"Tell me about it," she mumbled, absentmindedly picking up her new script from her bedside cabinet. She's got exactly the part she wanted, but she knew her acting was weak and needed a lot of work, her voice alone wouldn't carry her through it. Her mind strayed to Leo again, at how she just wanted to be around him and how terrible she'd felt when he'd snapped at her last night.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked and she smiled.

_You._

"Uh… just this play. I need to read lines or something, work on it. I'm pretty terrible," she laughed.

"Oh wow. Well that sounds fun. I'm just here waiting for my eyes to start working," he said and she froze.

"You mean you-"

"Yeah. Last week. I didn't tell anybody, not even Jim. He's having a hissy fit over it, but I just didn't want him to worry. But yeah. Any day now apparently, I should notice bright lights first, Jim spent half of this morning with a damn flashlight in my face, but nothing yet. I'm kind of… excited, but I don't want to let myself get my hopes up too high though, because more than likely it wont work at all," he said and she stayed silent, carefully considering her answer.

"You've done pretty well for yourself so far without being able to see," she said.

"Oh yeah. I know, just… it'd be nice, not to get lost, or trip over things, or crash into people," he said and she chuckled.

"You could use a cane you kno-"

"NEVER. EVER. NEVER," he cried dramatically and she laughed.

"Or not."

"Or not. I like that answer. Anyway. I'm gonna leave you to your line-practice, I need to get to a… uh… meeting," he said awkwardly and she nodded to herself.

"Yeah. Sure. Well, maybe we could hangout… later or something?" she asked and he paused for a moment.

"Uh… maybe not today, I have stuff to do. Maybe tomorrow?" he offered and she smiled.

"Sure."

* * *

_"Pilot, huh? You sure kid?" _

_"Definitely," David nodded. He was certain with his decision._

_"Alright well get your forms filled in and we'll send them off tomorrow," Leonard said hesitantly. _

_Whether it had been spending the first few years of his life on the ship, or the influence of having always been around Starfleet, David wanted to fly. He wanted to be a pilot. _

_As much as he didn't want his son off in such a dangerous job, Leonard knew he couldn't deny him his dream and his gentle encouragement to look into a profession that didn't involve him going off planet hadn't gone down too well._

_"I know you want me to get a nice desk job like Jo, but I couldn't do that," David said, as if reading his mind._

_"I know… I just… it's dangerous out there, y'know? Your mom and I have seen more than our fair share of sticky situations, and I'd hate for you to be in danger, but, that being said, you're sixteen years old and if you wanna go to the academy, that's your decision," he said flatly._

_"I'll be careful," David said and Leonard rolled his eyes._

_"It's dangerous out there in the black, kid, and sometimes no matter how careful you are, there's always somethin' to go wrong," he said and David looked down at the floor for a second._

_"It's all I've ever wanted to do."_

_Leonard nodded._

_"I know, and you'll be great at it. I'm proud of you," he said, clapping him on the shoulder._

* * *

"Come in," Bones said as he looked up.

A very shaky Leo was standing in the doorway of his office, leaning on his sister for support.

"Hey, kid, how's it going?" he asked tentatively. Seren's blue eyes swimming with tears answered the question before Leo could even open his mouth.

"Good. Yeah I'm doing pretty good. How are you?" he asked and Seren sniffled.

"Ser. I'm fine. Stop getting upset over it," Leo said firmly and she helped him into a chair then let go of him quickly, backing away and looking at the floor.

Bones had noticed her control slipping over the last few weeks, as she watched her brother fighting for his life, getting weaker, struggling to pretend he was doing fine.

"Cut all the shit, Leo, not to me. It's bad enough to the others, but no shit in here. You're not fine. Look at the state of you," Bones said and Leo's shoulders slumped.

"No. I'm not fine. I'm not. I'm done, Bones, I'm dying, I can feel it," he said, brown eyes fixed unseeingly on the wall.

Seren excused herself from the room and Bones didn't blame her. This conversation was going to be far from easy to listen to.

"You're not… dying. But you're not doing great either. Your body is going into shock from everything going on, but the tumour is shrinking. Not by a whole lot just yet, but it's going in the right direction I-"

"I… Bones stop. I didn't come here to talk about that," Leo cut him off, eyes now fixed directly on his own. The doctor fell silent.

"I came to… well… could I… hmm. Uh. Well," he stammered, eyes flicking down to the desk and taking a deep breath.

"I wanted to ask for your permission to date Emily," he said and Bones held his breath for a second.

"Leo. Kid, I… you know why I can't say yes to that, right?" he said gently and Leo nodded.

"I know. Because when I die it's going to break her heart, and it'll be everyone left behind picking up the pieces, I know that, but I… I'm really sorry, but I've never felt this way for anyone and I can't… go… without… I need to tell her, I want to make the most of-" his voice cracked and for the first time since the whole ordeal began, he began to cry in front of the doctor.

Leonard McCoy sighed. He felt so conflicted. On the one hand, he knew Leo's chances of surviving weren't fantastic. But on the other hand he'd seen his interactions with Emily, watched the way she'd blush bright pink when he made her giggle, noticed the tiny smile he'd always have on his face whenever she was around. They were good for each other. They made each other happy, _very_ happy, but it could all be so short-lived. Cruel to let it begin just for it to end so soon.

He watched as the youngest Kirk broke apart in front of him, curling into a ball in the chair, crying into his knees, sobs racking his entire body.

Leonard found himself up out of his own seat and going around the desk, one hand settling on the young mans back, rubbing soothingly.

"It's ok," he said quietly. Leo shook with silent sobs as he wrestled with his emotions.

"It's not."

"It will be."

Leo was silent, taking slow and controlled breaths, using his hands to wipe the tears off his face.

"I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from I just-"

"Don't apologise," Leonard cut him off.

"Don't apologise Leo. You've done incredibly well through this, and you're almost at the end of it. We're going to get you through it. I swear to you, I will not let you die on my watch, you got that?"

Leo nodded.

"Yes sir."

"And you know why that is?"

Leo shook his head.

"Because… you're like a son to me. You're family. And family look out for each other. I'm gonna keep you alive and get you better, I promise," he said and Leo nodded.

"Sure. Thank you," he said and Bones placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Anything, kid. Now Jim told me you're talking about not doing the last chemo, are you sure?" he asked and Leo nodded.

"Yeah. I can't," he said simply in response.

Bones nodded. He knew that finishing the course was medically the correct thing to do, but Leo was already obviously struggling and putting him through more suffering by continuing was something the doctor couldn't find it in his heart to do.

"Sure. I understand. You need a good week for your body to recover from just the shock of the last dose, and then we'll try and figure out a date for surgery," he said gently and Leo nodded again.

"Yeah. Sure. Whenever."

The last dose of chemotherapy had been so strong Leo had barely moved for two days afterwards. Jim had been beside himself with worry, forcing himself to go to work every day, leaving Spock and Seren caring for Leo. This had been two days before Chris arrived home and there had been the argument over dinner.

"I… I'll give you my permission to date Emily. Under one condition," he said and Leo smiled weakly.

"No sex?" Leo smirked.

"Well, that too, and no sleepovers either. My one condition is that you're honest and open with her from the beginning, you need to tell her what's going on with you, it isn't fair to keep that from her."

"I'm going to tell everyone as soon as I'm ready to," he said, pushing his hair back off his forehead. Bones noticed he wasn't sweating today, not like he would after the chemo, but he was still deathly pale.

"Just be honest with her. If you break her heart I'll kill you myself," Bones grumbled and Leo chuckled lightly.

"I'd expect nothing less," he smiled.

* * *

_"You ready Em?"_

_"Hmm? Oh. Yeah. I'm ready," she said coolly._

_It was their last show. The final time they'd all be on stage together as a band._

_She was relieved. What had started so nicely had ended up sour, and she couldn't wait to be away from the people she'd begun this adventure with._

_What had been incredibly fun at the beginning, living in a bus, spending every day talking to new people and every night playing on stage in a new city, had become the very thing she hated. Having spent five years at music college she'd never intended to use her voice as part of such an average band._

_She wanted something more, something bigger, better, more imaginative than repetitive pop-punk riffs and lyrics about nothing in particular._

_It was time for it to be over, she would move on to better things._

_"Paris! Let's do this!" She yelled into her microphone as she leapt out onto the stage. There were maybe a thousand people there and she wasn't nervous, just ready to have a good time and say goodbye to that part of her life._

_*!*_

_"Hey mom," she smiled into her communicator._

_"Hi honey, how was your night?"_

_"It was good, I'm glad its over though, it'll be nice to come home," Emily admitted._

_"You've got no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that," her mother smiled into her own communicator._

* * *

Christopher trembled with the exertion of just keeping himself still and under control.

His entire body was screaming, _burning_ for him to do it. To claim. To take.

And he knew, he understood now.

_David._

All those times when he'd mind-melded with him, starting when they were very young and not really understanding what they were doing, when he should have listened to Spock's advice and _never_ melded with anyone. He'd been connecting them, he just never knew what the connection was until accidentally stumbling across it during their last meld and immediately backing away.

He'd tried to fight it. He's fucked his way through half the women he'd already slept with, hoping by some fluke that one of them could be the one instead, that he'd feel an instant connection. But no.

His burning was for one person and one person alone.

Deciding that his cold shower from earlier had made him feel better, even if it only lasted a few minutes, Christopher heaved himself off the bed to go and take another one, clothes being hastily shed on the way to the bathroom.

* * *

_"Hey! That's mine!" David protested as Christopher snatched the object he was holding, a miniature replica of the Enterprise._

_"No it isn't, Uncle Scotty gave it to ME!"_

_"But… but…I was playing with it," David mumbled as tears burned at his eyes._

_"Human gonna cry?" Christopher taunted and David burst into tears, his loud wails drawing the attention of Jim who was supposed to be watching them._

_"Boys! What's going on here?" he asked and Chris immediately dropped the toy ship and began retreating out of the room._

_"Davey is being a stupid human," he said quickly and David cried louder. Jim scooped him up and picked up the toy ship._

_"He take this off you again, huh?" Jim asked quietly and David sniffled and nodded._

_"Christopher George Kirk! You get over here and apologise, right now!" Jim ordered and Chris scowled, dragging his feet and walking back over._

_"Sorry," he mumbled._

_"No. Like you mean it," Jim said, setting David down._

_"I'm sorry Davey," he said more sincerely._

_"Good. Now shake hands," Jim instructed and David held out his hand, Chris taking it, a strange tingling spreading across David's palm at the touch._

_"You're big boys now, and you can learn how to share. Chris, I already told you, if you don't start acting your age I'll treat you like a baby," Jim warned and Christopher pouted._

_"How old are you?" Jim asked and Chris mumbled his response so quietly you could barely hear it._

_"Pardon?" Jim asked and Christopher frowned._

_"Seven," he said clearly and Jim nodded._

_"That's right. And what do big, grown-up seven year olds do?"_

_"Share," Chris mumbled._

_"Good. Now are we clear?" he asked, running a hand through his hair._

_"Yes Jim," he nodded._

_"If he gives you any more trouble just yell, kiddo," Jim said, ruffling David's hair before returning to his desk._

_"Sorry Davey," Chris mumbled again and David crossed his arms across his chest. The pair of big brown eyes staring at him blinked, his head tilting to one side._

_"Hey, you want to play a fun game?" Chris asked and David crossed his arms tighter._

_"What's that?" he asked._

_"I'll show you," Christopher said, extending his left hand towards David's face._

* * *

David rang the buzzer again, grumbling under his breath when Christopher still didn't appear.

He raised his fist and used the side of it to hammer against the door.

"Hey asshole, come let me in!"

He'd avoided him since the previous night at dinner, he'd left fully intending to track Chris down and talk to him, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not after Spock had commed him right after he got home.

_"David McCoy."_

_"Uh… hi Mr Spock, is there anything I can-"_

_"Yourself and Christopher are very close friends, am I correct?" David shifted uncomfortably._

_"I guess you could say that we're pretty cl-"_

_"Have you ever had any form of sexual exchange?"_

_"What?! No! No, we're friends, nothing else," David spluttered and Spock was silent for a moment._

_"I believe from your highly defensive reaction that the process has already begun. You have been experiencing strong feelings of desire, feelings you cannot understand, am I correct?"_

_David paused before answering._

_"How do you know about this?" he hissed._

_"You are not exactly discreet if a person knows what to look for. Christopher is in danger, David. He has entered Pon Farr, and the fever must be sated. Without his T'hy'la, he will die," Spock explained and David screwed up his face._

_"T'hy'la is like… husband, right? Or wife?"_

_"Incorrect. I will allow Christopher to elaborate on the term should you go to him. I must stress the importance, do not fight him, he may well be highly dangerous in this condition."_

_David ran a hand through his hair._

_"So… what are you saying here?" he asked at last._

_"Pon Farr is the Vulcan mating drive, occurring on average every seven years in males. This cycle does not usually begin until the Vulcan is much older, however, it would appear that something had caused Christopher to enter this phase at a very young age."_

_"Mating?! Are you fuckin' serious?" David spluttered._

_"I am entirely serious, yes. As you are aware, Vulcans cannot lie."_

_"So you're telling me, that I need to go and like… sleep with him, to make him better?" he asked and Spock hesitated for a moment._

_"In simple terms, yes, though there is more involved than that. He may well bond with you, most likely he will, your minds will be joined."_

_"He… he's already in my head, sometimes, he makes me… have these dreams," David confessed._

_"Then it has already begun. I must stress the urgency of-"_

_"Yeah yeah, letting him screw my brains out, got it," David sighed._

_"He may behave in a way highly unlike his usual self, he may go for days without food or water, he may become aggressive, he may not understand you at times. Is this clear?" Spock asked and David swallowed hard._

_"Horny, pointy-eared pain in my ass. Got it," he said firmly._

_"Good luck," Spock said as David snapped the communicator shut._

After a few more moments the door slid open and Christopher stood before him, dripping wet from the shower and shivering, wearing only too-big pyjama pants with the black waistband of his boxers on show.

"What… were you in a cold shower?" David asked as he eyed the way Chris' teeth seemed to be chattering.

He nodded silently as his friend stepped into his apartment and the door closed behind him.

"Isn't that… like really bad with you having warmer blood than a normal human?" he asked and Chris nodded again, his eyes darkening as his friend crossed the room and stood over by the window, looking out at the city below.

"You could try turning some lights on you know, I'm sure you earn enough to pay your damn electric bill," he muttered as he looked at his friend through the gloom. There was only one lamp switched on in the entire large living area, and the shadows is was casting made Chris appear even more imposing as every muscle in his body flexed when he moved.

"Is something wrong? You seem pretty quiet," he asked as he glanced at the part-Vulcan again. David decided to play dumb. Maybe there was some way he and Chris could rectify the situation without having to actually have sex. Surely there was some other way.

Christopher was doing everything in his control to not grab David and drag him to the nearest available surface to fuck him silly.

"David… Davey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he muttered as he took a few steps closer.

"I just… I need. I'm going to die, David," he muttered as he took another step closer, eyes growing darker still as he approached.

"Wait… what? Are you… sick or something? What's wrong with you? Why are you looking at me like that?"

David took a step back as Christopher continued to approach him, water beading on his well muscled chest, running down his clearly defined abdomen.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked again, cursing himself mentally as he felt pink blush rising in his cheeks as his act of ignorance began to slip.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you, but now it all makes sense." David's back hit the wall as he ran out of room, Christopher advancing and trapping him against the wall with one arm on either side of him, palms flat against the cool surface.

"What the fuck are you talking ab-"

David was cut off as Christopher pinned him to the wall, crashing their lips together.

The smaller man struggled, though he knew it was useless, he was fully aware of how strong his hybrid friend was and knew that he wouldn't be getting away from him anytime soon.

Chris seemed to be struggling within himself, one moment the kiss was rushed and frantic, the next he seemed to be holding back. He pulled away, lips moist and slightly swollen.

"I'm sorry. I… this isn't supposed to happen until I'm much older, I never realised what I was doing with… the mind-melding… I never knew and I… god I'm so sorry," he muttered as he lost control again, pinning David against the wall with such force that it winded him slightly, attacking his neck with his teeth.

David's communicator started to sound in his pocket and he fumbled for it, one hand still trying to push his friend away.

"Help me!" he yelped as he got the device open, not really caring who was on the other end of the line. Though Spock's warning had at least given him some idea of what to expect, he hadn't really anticipated Christopher being quite so aggressive.

"David! Shit, you need to just… let him, let him do whatever he's trying to do. He'll die otherwise," Jim's voice was frantic.

"He's tryna' rape me!" David protested as Chris's hands pinned his wrists above his head, sending the communicator clattering across the floor.

"I'll explain everything afterwards, just, go with it. I promise you'll be ok, he won't kill you, just don't fight him. He isn't in control right now, it's a Vulcan thing, I promise I'll explain," Jim said.

Christopher growled low in his throat, brown eyes a dangerous black where his pupils were blown wide. David swallowed hard.

"Spock told me. But... is this the only way?" he asked.

"Yes. It's the only way. His mind has chosen yours… and it, well, it's not reversible at this point. David I'm so sorry, I promise I'll explain everything once he's burned himself out. It might be a day, it might be a week, everyone is different I just-"

"A week?! He might be like this for a week?" he hissed as Christopher started to drag him away from the wall and towards his bedroom. David just managed to snag the communicator with his foot and kick it along so he could hear Jim's response.

"Unlikely but he might-"

David didn't hear what Christopher might do as the communicator was snatched up and thrown full force into the wall, shattering into pieces. David found himself thrown roughly onto the mattress, trying to regain his balance he propped himself up on forearms as Chris crawled over him, like a predator would corner it's prey right before going in for the kill.

Their faces mere inches apart, David could feel the _heat_ radiating from his friend, the same friend he'd been having some very impure dreams about over the last few weeks.

"Fuck or die huh? They don't teach that in basic alien biology at the academy," he said and Christopher raised an eyebrow in a way so reminiscent of his father that David made a mental note to tease him about it later.

"If you don't… want to I can… I…" Chris started; momentarily back in control but physically shaking with the effort.

"Shh. No… I… know. I've been having dreams, where you… connected our minds… I guess. I can feel it too, the… wanting… it hurts."

Christopher gave a short nod.

"I'm… I can't hold out anymore, it's getting worse," he whispered, his voice sounded… pained. Forced.

The water in his hair was mingling with the sweat beginning to escape his every pore as his fever began to burn to a new intensity.

"Don't. Don't hold out. Not anymore. We'll get you through this and talk about it when it's all over," David said and Chris gave another small nod before his body tensed, hands curling into fists where they gripped the sheets. He was very still for a long moment, and David stayed awkwardly still beneath him, not really sure what he needed to do. He didn't need to figure it out as Chris seemed to spring back to life, beginning to pull at his shirt with urgency, David lifting his arms to allow him to remove it.

An inhumanly hot mouth trailed down his body, pausing at one nipple and his belly button, leaving a searing tingle wherever his lips had made contact. David stayed very still, knowing it was important he didn't fight him.

His jeans were lost next, boxers and socks going along with them and being flung carelessly to the floor.

Christopher's hungry dark eyes were all over his body, his facial expression one of complete animal lust. David held his gaze; he wasn't going to come over all shy at a moment like this, not a chance in hell. If he was going to submit to this, he was going to do so like a man.

He bit his lip hard as Christopher trailed both his hands down his body, slowly, agonisingly slowly, palms flat against his skin, blunt nails following the hot palms, leaving faint pink trails until they reached his hips and took a firm hold.

David couldn't hold back a strangled moan as his best friend lowered his mouth to his semi-hard cock, hot wet tongue lapping at it eagerly, bringing him to full attention in record time.

Being far too distracted by this, David didn't notice Christopher ridding himself of his own clothing. He did notice the absence of the mouth causing him so much pleasure and forced his eyes open as he felt his friends weight shift on the bed as he landed beside him, laying on his stomach with his head level to his own.

"Somethin' wrong?" David asked, forcing his voice to remain steady as he tried to return his voice to normal.

Christopher said nothing, just stared at him with those dangerous now black eyes but his face was soft, pleading, begging almost. It took David a long few seconds to realise that Chris didn't want to dominate him, he wanted to _be_ dominated.

"You… you don't want to fuck me, do you? You… want it the other way around, is that it?"

Christopher made a small whimper of agreement and David nodded.

"Ok… well… I guess I can do that. Never done this with a guy before, and I'm guessing you haven't either, right?" Chris shook his head slightly. He was still clinging onto some of his control, just hanging by a thread.

"I uh… um… do you have lube?" David asked. He felt awkward as hell. He was _straight_ goddamn it!

Christopher didn't answer his question; he grabbed David by the upper arms and pulled him so he was on top, their naked bodies pressed together and the heat radiating off Chris almost unbearable.

"Is that a no?" David asked as Christopher tilted his head back, exposing his throat fully. David took the hint and began to lick and bite at the exposed flesh, causing the part-Vulcan to writhe beneath him.

"Answer me," David said firmly, reaching underneath him and closing his hand around the other's erection where it was rubbing painfully against the sheets.

"Somewhere," Chris managed out and David scrambled off him, making a beeline for the bedside cabinet and pulling out the top drawer, emptying its contents all over the floor and sending any number of questionable objects scattering all over the room.

A small white bottle caught his attention and he snatched it up.

_Bingo._

"I'll be careful," he promised as he popped the cap on the half-empty bottle. David made a mental note to enquire as to what Christopher had been doing to himself for the bottle to already be half empty.

Christopher made a desperate, pleading kind of whimpering sound and David looked at him concernedly. He _definitely _looked like he was telling the truth when he said he would die if they didn't do this. His entire body was shaking, sweat slick-skin a patchy green as his fever raged, facially he looked like he was in real pain, and his breathing was coming in short, quick gulps of air.

"You're fucking… weird," David grumbled as he squirted a generous amount of clear liquid onto his fingers before slowly lowering one and beginning to press it into his friend, watching his face carefully for any sign of pain.

Christopher's eyes closed and the tension in his jaw eased, a sigh that sounded very much like relief escaping him.

David had no real idea what he was doing, sleeping with men was hardly a speciality of his. When Chris seemed comfortable enough with one finger, he added a second, receiving a soft moan of encouragement.

"Chris you moan like a little slut," he muttered, trying to get the blush in his cheeks to fade. He couldn't believe what he was about to do.

* * *

"DAMN IT JIM!"

After speaking with David Jim had raced over to Bones' office at the hospital as fast as he could, finding Spock already there waiting for him.

"Bones, I'm sorry, we didn't know that-" Jim stopped talking as he was flung into the wall, being pinned there by his friend who was so angry it looked as though steam could come out of his ears at any moment.

"You think I don't remember the state you were in? Huh? After this freak was done with you when his time rolled around?" He glared at Spock. "You think I don't remember the broken ribs? The black eye? Damn it Jim, if he hurts David, so help me I'll-"

"Doctor," Spock interjected loudly and the Doctor silenced.

"What the _fuck_ do you want?" he hissed, glaring at Jim dangerously who just stayed very still in his grasp.

"I do not believe Christopher will harm David," Spock said calmly.

"And you didn't believe that you'd harm Jim! Did you?! I remember that day Spock, the first time it happened to you, and you promised Jim it'd be alright, but then you just… lost it. You were like a fucking… _animal_! You threw him around like a rag doll for the better part of a week!"

"Bones," Jim said, raising a hand to try and stop the doctor from talking.

He room fell silent. The three men just staring at eachother.

"So now what, he's already got him, right?" Bones sighed, both hands running through his grey-flecked hair.

"Yeah. He's at Chris' apartment. I talked to him, I tried to warn him, but… it… well it had already started and-"

"Jim. Shut up. You know, in fact, get out, both of you, get the fuck out of here right now!" Bones ordered, shoving Jim roughly towards the door. Spock advanced on the doctor.

"I must insist you stop touching James in that-"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" Bones roared, shoving Spock this time, though he barely moved.

"Both of you. Out. Now," Bones growled, glaring at the two men.

"Spock. Let's go," Jim said quietly, keeping his eyes on the doctor.

"I'm sorry Bones. I don't think Chris meant for this to happen, but I'm sure David will be fine and-" Jim tried but Bones shut the door in his face.

Jim looked at Spock helplessly as inside the office Leonard McCoy threw himself into his chair, pulling the brand new bottle of bourbon out of the bottom drawer of his desk.

"Damn pointy-eared Kirk's," he grumbled, opening the bottle and pouring some of the golden liquid into a glass.

* * *

David felt terrible.

Not only did he not think Christopher was in any state to consent to what he was doing to him, he couldn't _stop_.

"Mm-more," Christopher gasped out as David thrust hard again. He was tired. They'd been at this for hours, Christopher splayed out and useless on the bed, just begging, pleading, desperate.

"You'll get more," David growled as a wave of heat washed over him, definitely not sourced from within his own body.

Trembling hands gripped sore and bruised hips, David panting against Christopher's neck as he did his best to keep up the punishing rhythm. David yelped as Chris bit down on his neck, so hard that he felt the skin break.

Feeling he was close, David sped up his movements, one hand closing around Chris' green-tinged erection and pumping rapidly, causing him to gasp out words that David didn't understand as David continued to pound into the overwhelming heat of his body.

"Yeah, that's right, you like that," David growled, grip tightening on Chris' hips.

"F-fuck," he stammered as he hit his release, eyes slipping closed and body tensing as he came. He'd lost count of how many rounds they'd gone, but Chris had always been the same, just laying there, begging for more occasionally but otherwise only panting and staring up with dark eyes.

Body aching, David rolled off to the side, desperately trying to get his breath back. Chris tugged at his shoulder, making needy, whimpering sounds.

"Get off, god, just, give me five seconds," he panted, shoving Chris' hand away and nuzzling his face into the pillow.

He'd expected this to all be the other way around. From what he knew of Chris, he was dominant in the bedroom, and women loved him for how he'd fully take control of everything that was going on. This couldn't be further from the way he'd behaved for the last few hours.

"I'm going to get a glass of water, do you want one?" David offered, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

Christopher stared at him blankly.

"I'll take that as a no?"

David rolled to get out of the bed and Chris grabbed him, effectively pinning him to the mattress.

"Get off Christopher, I need a drink," he said firmly but Chris didn't let go.

"Mine," he growled and David swallowed hard, noticing Chris was hard again already.

"Uh… yeah, sure, why not," he said, too tired to even argue.

"But I need to get water, Chris, you know like... to drink," he tried to explain, trying to move again. Chris gripped his arm so tightly David was worried he might crush it.

"You're hurting me," he said clearly and Christopher continued to stare blankly at him.

David shuffled closer to Chris, cautiously draping an arm around him and Chris immediately calmed, relaxing his grip and laying still on the bed.

"Chris, please, I need some water, I'm not running away or anything, I'll come right back," he said quickly. David was conscious of the warning he'd been given. It could be _days_ before this was over, and he was already starving hungry and so thirsty it hurt. At the very least he needed water, and he knew Chris would be needing water by now too.

Deciding to try and different tactic he stood up, pulling Chris with him, holding his body tight to his own.

"We're going to go take a shower, ok? We're both really, really dirty," David sighed as he pushed his hair back off his face. He stank of sweat and sex and god only knows what else. He didn't really want to think too much about it, about the things they had been doing.

He managed to practically drag Christopher into the bathroom and switched on the water, pulling him into the shower cubicle with the water still running cold. David tilted his head up and gulped down a few mouthfuls of water before Christopher had him pinned to the frosted glass wall, lips attacking his neck, stinging against the fresh bite marks there from the previous few hours.

"Mine," Chris growled again, turning David around so his face was against the glass, both hands trailing down his back to his ass. David swallowed hard, he knew exactly what Chris was going to do as a fresh wave of heat pulsed between them, mingling with his own nervousness at what he was sure was coming up next.

"Be gentle, ok? Slowly," David tried to explain and Christopher stared at him, water running down his face, getting in his eyes though he didn't blink it away.

"Shit," David muttered under his breath.

"You know what Chris, I'm going to kill you when this is all done," he mumbled as Christopher bit at his ear, hands gripping his hips as he pressed his erection against him.

David swallowed hard again, trying to force himself to relax, to not attempt to fight.

He looked back at Christopher carefully, who blinked hard, a glimmer of panic spreading across his face momentarily, almost as if he had realised what he was doing, before it faded into the same snarl once again.

"_Mine."_

* * *

**A/N**

Oops. I made Christopher all crazy. My bad :3

I just wanted to point out that I'm fully aware Vulcan's body temp. is actually lower than a human... I wrote in the first story that the temp was higher, so for continuity's sake I wanted to keep it that way during this story, even though it isn't accurate. Anyway. Moving on!

Next chapter we're getting some more Pon Farr, Emily and Leo get closer and there's a big secret being spilled...

Thanks for reading :)


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**

**What a pleasant surprise! I was able to get this finished sooner than I thought :)**

**Bit of a mixed chapter here, p0rn warning, but also very cutesy. The two budding couples are at like... complete odds with eachother, and I'm loving it!**

**I've noticed a lot of you guys are asking for more Jim and Spock... there's a little in this chapter, and there will be a LOT more coming up (if you catch my drift *wink wink*) but yeah, bare with me, I'm trying to sort out all the kids first, we'll get to them I promise! **

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

Spock was silent, peering through the darkness at the huddled form beside him.

Jim's breathing was slow and controlled, but not deep enough for him to be asleep. He was tense, his shoulder in front of Spock's face holding his arm stiffly at his side.

"I know that you are not asleep, Jim," he said quietly and Jim sighed, rolling onto his back.

The small sliver of light sneaking into the room through a gap in the blinds was falling just across Jim's face, allowing Spock to see his eyes clearly in the gloom.

"I can't stop worrying about them both," Jim whispered.

Spock inched closer and wrapped one arm around Jim's naked torso.

"Stop worrying."

Jim sighed and squeezed his eyes closed.

"I can't. Because every time I think about it… I think about… you," Jim said, the last word slipping from his lips and feeling like a punch right to Spock's stomach.

His own behaviour during his previous Pon Farr's had been wholly unacceptable. He'd seen the damage he'd caused to Jim, and though it was never anything life threatening, he'd broken a few ribs and left him battered and badly shaken.

"It is possible Christopher will not behave in the same way that I-"

"Spock don't. He's bad enough when he _isn't_ in Pon Farr. David is in serious trouble. I feel responsible, you know? I tried to raise him… the most human way I could, I was hoping somehow it wouldn't happen to them and-"

Spock brought one finger to Jim's lips and placed it there softly, stopping him from speaking.

"It is genetically programmed into every Vulcan, every part-Vulcan. You could not have stopped it. You could not have removed it from him, no matter how he was raised. This is not your fault, although I am convinced you are determined to blame yourself as you do not wish to blame Christopher," Spock said and Jim frowned, pulling Spock's hand away from his lips.

"It isn't Chris' fault either," Jim protested.

"No. It is not. There is nowhere for any blame to be placed, James. You must simply accept what is happening and we will deal with all of the consequences afterwards. Be thankful that David has chosen to save Christopher's life," Spock pointed out and Jim nodded, leaning into his husband and wrapping an arm around him in return.

They were silent for a long few moments.

"I worry about David, I worry about getting him back to Bones and Carol in one piece," Jim mumbled eventually.

"I am quite certain that David McCoy can take care of himself," Spock said, placing a small kiss on Jim's forehead.

* * *

David's eyes snapped open and he looked around quickly.

He'd been asleep no longer than thirty minutes, but was all of a sudden incredibly alert and awake, his stomach protesting loudly about how neglected it was feeling. His eyes locked onto the naked form beside him, laying on his stomach and fast asleep, breathing slow and deep, his back rising and falling with each inhale and exhale.

David's stomach growled again and he decided to chance running to the kitchen to try and find something to eat, and getting some more water too.

He carefully began trying to extricate himself from the tangle of limbs and blankets, wincing as he did so as pain crept up his spine. Christopher had been anything but gentle with him though he had managed to fortunately persuade the Vulcan to prepare him at least a little bit, and though he knew he wasn't badly hurt, he was sore all the same.

Finally reaching a standing position he crept from the room, reaching the kitchen and snatching up a plastic tumbler, filling it with cold water and drinking it all down in one go before re-filling it and drinking the entire thing again. He filled the tumbler a third time and set it aside before looking for some food.

The cupboards and fridge were bare, but the replicator unit had protein in it, so David quickly set it to make him four slices of toast with butter and strawberry jam. He knew it wasn't ideal, but it was quick and easy to eat, and sugary enough to give him some energy.

He listened carefully for any sound coming from the bedroom as he wolfed down the toast, standing naked in his friends kitchen as the pinkish sunrise glow seeped into the room, clear finger-shaped bruises sitting on his hips.

He heard Christopher shuffling around and quickly snatched up the plastic cup of water, heading back into the bedroom.

Chris was sitting on the edge of the bed, dark eyes fixed on him.

"I brought you this," David said, holding out the final piece of toast. Christopher didn't even look at it, his eyes remained fixed on David's.

"I know you're busy being an asshole right now, but you still need to eat something."

David pushed the piece of bread towards his friends face and he looked down at it, opening his mouth slightly and allowing David to shove it between his lips. Chris took a small bite and chewed, swallowing a few seconds later.

"Good, food is good," David said clearly. Christopher looked at him like he didn't understand a word he was saying. David offered him another bite but Chris' mouth stayed firmly closed this time.

"You're not hungry huh? Well you must be thirsty by now. Have some water Christopher," he said, holding out the tumbler. Chris looked at it and then up at David, eyes darkening and body tensing as if he were about to pounce.

"No no! Not yet. You need water first, or you'll get dehydrated. Look, drink," David ordered, grabbing Chris' head in one hand and bringing he cup to his lips with the other hand. He pressed it to his lips and tilted it upwards, water trickling down his chin when he didn't open up.

"Come on you big, pointy-eared idiot," David muttered, giving the back of Chris' head a persuasive squeeze. He opened his mouth slightly and David managed to get him to drink around a third of the water before he roughly jolted his head away, sending the water flying.

"Better than nothing I guess," David muttered, setting down the empty cup on the side and allowing Christopher to grab him by the thighs and throw him back down onto the bed. He turned onto his back immediately.

"Behave," David said in a warning tone as Christopher hovered over him, hot breath ticking just below his ear.

He bit down hard on his neck and David lashed out, punching him in the ribs and startling him, causing Christopher's eyes to narrow dangerously.

"Be nice," David warned and Chris seemed to relax slightly, one hand trailing up his chest but then causing David to tense as it settled on his throat.

"Get your hands off me you-" David fell silent as Christopher's hand continued to trail upwards, settling on his face, his fingers spreading apart and settling at his PSI points.

David barely had a second to grasp what was happening before Christopher was inside his mind.

* * *

"But _why?!"_

"Because Emily, it isn't safe! They're identical god-damn it! Who's to say he isn't going through the same thing? Who's to say he won't just grab you the second you get anywhere near him?!"

"Shut up Dad, you have no idea!" Emily yelled, storming out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

"Don't you speak to me like that young l-"

"I'LL SPEAK TO YOU HOWEVER I FUCKING WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU!" she roared, she could feel her face turning red, her fists shaking with anger.

Her father fell silent, staring up at her.

"Go to your room. And stay there. Don't you dare contact Leo," he said in a low voice and she shook her head, eyes filling with tears as she hurried into her room, locking the door behind herself as she began to cry.

Bones stormed back into the kitchen, his fist making contact with the wall hard enough for him to swear under his breath.

"Honey, calm down, take a deep breath and-"

"Don't. Don't tell me to calm down! I don't know how you can be so relaxed when our son is off being used as a… a fucking human _sex toy_ to that out of control, pointy-eared-"

"Leonard." Carol interrupted him firmly and he stopped ranting, taking a deep breath and looking at her. She was perfectly calm sitting at the kitchen table, eyes locked on him.

"Sit down," she said gently and he nodded, hands trembling as he pulled out a chair and lowered himself into it.

"I know. I'm worried too. But I'm sure David will be fine, he can stick up for himself, we both know that, he's a tough cookie, Len," she said, putting one hand over his and squeezing lightly.

"Tough or not, I saw Jim when Spock was done with him and it weren't pretty," he mumbled and Carol shook her head.

"But he's only half Spock. He's more human, both of those twins are more human and you know it, just because they have pointed ears and copper-based blood, you know how human they are deep down," she soothed and he nodded.

"I know. I just… the size of him… if he turned nasty… there's no way David'd be able to fight back… the kids like a fuckin' wall of muscle," he said and Carol sighed.

"Yeah, sure, he is, but that doesn't mean anything. Deep down he's still Jim's son, Jim and Spock did a good job on those kids and they spent a lot of time around us too. I'm sure he'll be in control at least to some degree," she said, blue eyes firmly on Leonard's hazel ones. He blinked hard and nodded.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"No. It's fine. I'm worried too, but there's nothing we can do, so try not to let it get the better of you. I'll go and talk to Emily," she said, going to stand up.

Leonard grabbed her arm gently to stop her.

"Don't. Just leave her simmer down for a while. She's like me when she's mad," he said with a small chuckle.

"Alright," Carol agreed, leaning down to place a tender kiss on her husband's lips.

* * *

Emily paced her room. Occasionally she'd mutter curses under her breath, or glance at her communicator that seemed to just be _daring_ her to defy her father and call Leo.

As it started to ring she practically leapt across the room to answer it.

"H-hello?" she whispered.

"Emily? Why are you whispering?" Seren asked.

"Oh. Hey Ser. No reason. Just… uh… was in character, you know, that play I'm doing, I kind of forgot for a second," she lied quickly. Seren was silent for a moment as if assessing her answer before she responded.

"I cannot understand how one person can pretend to be another… the idea just… confuses me," she said finally.

"It's just a bit of fun," Emily shrugged.

"I see."

Emily had sometimes wondered if Seren knew the concept of the word 'fun'. Sure, she'd go out and participate in family activities whenever Jim had arranged them when they were all kids, but then she got so into studying that she never seemed to do much else.

"I wanted to ask if you were doing anything? I need to go shopping and thought maybe you'd like to join me," she asked, somewhat awkwardly.

Emily was taken aback by the suggestion. Her and Seren had been friends growing up, but had barely spoken in the time she was away, and she wondered why all of a sudden she was asking to hangout.

"Uh… yeah, sure, when did you want to go, now?" she asked.

"That would be acceptable," Seren responded and Emily chuckled.

"You're so Spockish when you say things like that."

"I do not believe 'Spockish' is a real adjective."

"Yeah it is… me and Leo say it all the time to describe things…" Emily trailed off. Just mentioning Leo was making her sad.

"I see. When should I pick you up?"

"Whenever, I'm not doing anything," Emily said and the girls quickly arranged to go out in half an hour.

Thirty minutes flew by quickly and Emily bounded down the stairs and out of the house in one smooth movement, avoiding the kitchen where her father was no doubt still smouldering away.

The sleek, silver car hovering outside was so very inviting as the brisk October air ruffled Emily's blonde hair, nipping at her fingertips and making her wish she'd worn gloves.

"Hey, it's so cold today!" she said as she clambered into the passenger seat and pulled on her seatbelt.

"I am aware," she smiled, hinting at the woollen scarf around her neck. Judging by how much of a mess it was, Emily guessed it was one that Winona had knitted by hand.

"How are you?" Emily asked as they began to drive.

"I am well. How are you? Adjusting well to life at home?"

Emily shifted a little in the seat, reaching to turn on the radio.

"I'm alright. Life is pretty quiet… I guess. Besides arguing with my Dad at every possible moment. What's happening with Chris and David is pretty wild, huh?"

Seren raised an eyebrow.

"Wild is one way of describing it."

"Hey, if we're going to talk about my brother fucking your brother, I'm going to need chocolate first," piped up a voice from the back seat and Emily turned around, her face breaking into a grin as she saw Leo hiding back there, laying awkwardly across the seats curled into a ball.

"You enormous goofball!" she chuckled, reaching back and shoving him playfully.

"Well hello to you too! I'll have you know I'm risking my life by being here. Your dad threatened me with disembowelment if he catches me anywhere near you," he smirked and Emily rolled her eyes.

"He's such a drama queen."

"Well, he sounded serious, and I don't want to be cut up into chunks and fed to hungry tribbles so let's keep this quiet, shall we?" he said, sinking back down in the seat so he was invisible from the outside of the car. Emily laughed at him making a fool of himself and turned back to Seren.

"So you didn't really want to go shopping? You did all this just so we could hangout?" she asked and Seren hesitated, Leo diving in to answer before she could.

"No no, she needs to go shopping, but so do I. It's Scotty's annual Halloween party next weekend and neither of us have costumes! I'm in charge of getting Christopher's too, seeing as he's temporarily uh… incapacitated," he trailed off.

"I hadn't even thought about Halloween," Emily sighed but then grinned as she remembered the pictures she had seen from the previous years party.

"Is Jim dressing up again this year? I saw the pictures from before, that was hilarious!" Emily giggled and Seren allowed herself a small laugh.

"No. He's not. Not with Spock here, he'll be on his best behaviour."

"I still don't believe he did that," Emily chuckled, shaking her head.

"I can't wait to see the pictures of it," Leo grinned.

"I still can't believe your dad didn't kill him!" he added and Emily grinned.

"From what I heard he was pretty close to it. Everyone else found it funny, I mean, even my mom found it hilarious that Jim dressed up as her, she wasn't offended at all, she even asked him how he keeps in such good shape to fit into the blue dress so well."

Leo snorted.

"Jim doesn't eat anything. That's how he stays so skinny. He eats more though, now Spock's home," he said and Seren nodded. She'd also noticed this about her father. He was always busy, always preoccupied and often missing meals. Something about Spock being there seemed to help him remember to take better care of himself.

"They seem to be getting along better, like a lot better from what I hear around the house," Leo said and Seren nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah. They're really sweet at the moment. It's quite nice to see them like this, I was really worried Jim was going to throw him out for being away so long and acting like he didn't care about it."

"He's too Vulcan for his own good."

"Yeah. Sometimes. But anyway, Jim's got him back to being his old self again, it's like I remember him from when he were kids," Seren smiled.

Emily relaxed into her seat, just listening to the exchange between brother and sister. She jumped slightly when she felt a hand cover hers where it was hanging down the side of the seat. Blushing slightly, she smiled at Leo as he continued talking to his sister, though his eyes were firmly on her, his fingers softly touching hers and making it hard to concentrate.

"You see anything yet then?" Seren asked as they finally arrived at the large shopping complex on the outskirts of the city.

"No I don't think so. It's all the same, dark, boring, y'know, same shit different day," he said and Seren rolled her eyes.

"Be patient."

"Yeah, yeah, I am," he said with a small smile. Emily could see the doubt on his face.

"Hmm, holding hands, what would Bones have to say about this," Seren teased as she noticed their hands touching. Leo didn't move his hand away and shrugged.

"Don't care. Are we here?" he asked, feeling the car had stopped moving.

"Yeah. We are. What do you need for your super-secret costume then?" Emily asked curiously and he smirked.

"Black hair dye, that washes out," he said and Seren pulled a face.

"You're dying your hair? That seems a little extreme for a costume for one night."

"Not me. Christopher is dying his hair. Mine is staying the same, because apparently it's 'just right'," he said and Emily gave Seren a quizzical look as they all climbed out of the car.

"What are you two plotting?"

"That's for us to know and you to find out. Anyway. Let's get this over with, I hate shopping almost as much as I hate the person who decided putting trees in the middle of sidewalks was a good idea," Leo grumbled and Emily smiled, walking close enough to him that their shoulders touched. She knew he was grateful for it, as it meant she could lead him the right way discreetly without him having to walk behind her with his hand on her shoulder.

"Can I… hold your hand again? I kind of liked it," he mumbled awkwardly and she smiled.

"Yeah sure, I kind of liked it too," she said, lowering her hand and taking his, meshing their fingers together and causing Seren to laugh out loud as Leo blushed green right up to the very tips of his ears.

"What? What's funny?" Emily asked and Leo shook his head.

"You two, making out in public," Seren smirked and Emily glanced down at their hands before remembering.

"I forgot. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" she stammered, quickly repositioning their hands so they were palm to palm without their fingers interlocked, just lightly holding on.

"It's ok, I'm not complaining," he smirked and she shoved him, making him laugh.

"You're terrible."

* * *

"You're overdue," Jim said suddenly as he and Spock sat quietly in their living room.

Spock knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I am aware of this fact," he said and Jim looked at him carefully.

"Any idea on… when?" Jim asked and Spock shook his head slightly.

"None. I have felt no symptoms of the onset, yet."

"Just make sure you let me know," Jim said and Spock nodded.

"I will be sure to."

Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair, glancing at the clock again.

"It's been over twenty-four hours. How do you think David is holding up now?" he asked.

"I am quite certain he will find a way to get through it, T'hy'la. It is important after this that Christopher learns to centre his mind, the fact he has never done so could be one explanation for the premature onset of his Pon Farr."

"Yeah. I guess so. But I mean I don't know when the last time Leo meditated was, he's been so busy with… everything."

Spock leant across and took Jim's hand.

"Everything will work out eventually, ashayam, do not allow your thoughts to be troubled." Jim smiled as Spock placed a small kiss on his forehead.

"I can't seem to clear my head at the moment, everything is just… I don't know. It's all been so crazy since you've come home," he sighed.

* * *

_Chris. Stop. I don't like it when you bite._

The teeth attacking his neck didn't stop, no matter how much David silently begged them to. Hands gripping his wrists pinning them firmly to the bed on either side of his head, rendering his hands useless.

"Stop it," David mumbled, finally verbalising his discomfort.

He could still feel traces of Chris inside his mind, though the meld had been broken, and he was uncomfortable.

His entire body was burning as he tried to fight off the hybrid sprawled on top of him.

David wrapped his legs around Chris' waist and heaved with all his might, managing to flip them so he was on top. He noticed a small rattling sound from the bedpost and glanced up, noticing something silver and circular wrapped around the post and disappearing below the mattress.

Christopher had gone still, staring up at him hungrily, seeming to have accepted his display of dominance and gone into submissive mode again.

David felt at the fresh wound on his neck, removing his hand to find sticky red blood staining his fingertips.

"This is bullshit Chris, you're making me bleed," he sighed as he lunged for whatever the object was on the bedpost.

"You kinky son of a bitch!"

Handcuffs. Real, Starfleet handcuffs.

"You… oh my god, you sexual predator," David shook his head, but then smirked as a rush of heat washed over him.

"Won't be able to fight me so well with one hand, will you huh pointy?" he taunted, lowering his mouth to Christopher's and kissing him roughly, enough to distract him as he slowly dragged his wrist within range of the cuff.

Finally getting it close enough he snapped it closed and smiled triumphantly into the kiss. At least now he stood half a chance if Chris turned particularly nasty.

_David. I need-_

"Oh holy shit, you're in my head… but you're not in my head…" David gasped, breaking the kiss immediately as Chris' voice echoed in his mind.

Dark eyes pleaded with him as he stared down at the man below him, his entire body tensing as a wave of lust like nothing he'd ever before experienced crashed over him.

"Mine," David muttered, scrambling for the bottle of lube and grabbing one of Chris' legs, forcing it up and over his shoulder.

Christopher whined as two fingers were pressed into him quickly, maybe too quickly, David couldn't explain the sudden sense of desperation and urgency that had overcome him.

"Sorry… I… I don't know what's wrong with me, I just…" David trailed off, becoming entirely too distracted by every molecule of his body telling him to fuck to continue to form coherent thought.

Lips clashed in messy kisses as the fire raging between them burned out of control.

"Oh my god, are you contagious or something?" David muttered, his heart pounding in his chest and sweat beading on his body.

_Contagious in a way. Our minds are… joining, a little, enough for the fever to spread, but I can't do it properly, I don't know how._

"That how I can hear you even though you're too wound up to talk?" David asked, removing his fingers and adding more lube before plunging them back into the impossible heat, making Christopher writhe and let out a low moan.

_Yeah. I'm just projecting it right at you. And a little to the left would be great._

"Feel like I'm talking to myself a little bit." David deliberately moved his fingers further to the right.

_Well… could you hurry up? You're not going to hurt me, I'm ready._

That being all the encouragement David needed, he removed his fingers entirely and lined up, maintaining his eye-contact with Christopher as he entered, drawing gasps from them both.

_You're better in bed than I thought you'd be, I mean I'd give you maybe a six out of ten?_

"You need to shut up," David said through gritted teeth as he bottomed out, keeping still for a second.

_Not impressed you've got me tied up with my own handcuffs though, I mean that's totally unfa-_

The thoughts stopped coming as David pulled out a few inches and roughly thrust forward.

"Shut. Up."

Gripping any part of Chris' body he could get a firm hold of, David set a hard and steady pace, the Vulcan's hips rising insistently to meet his every movement.

Sweat rolled down David's chest, blood rushed in his ears, _fire_ burned in his mind.

_Mine. Fuck. Claim. Take. Mine._

Christopher whimpered and nodded before speaking his first coherent word in over thirty hours.

"Y-yours."

David bit his lip so hard he could taste blood as he struggled to maintain the pace. His body was tired, but the fever urged him on, _faster, harder, more_.

_I need to…_

Christopher struggled to raise his hand to David's face. He knew he had to do something to complete the unfinished bond, or the fever would kill him and possibly even David. He pressed his hand to David's face, focusing hard on connecting their minds.

_Stop._

David groaned and stopped moving, sprawled on top of Christopher and panting for breath.

_I'm going to try and… get this thing finished. It'll be like me offering you a rope inside your mind. You need to just take it and hold onto it until I say, alright?_

David pushed his sweaty hair back off his forehead and nodded weakly against Chris' shoulder.

Screwing his eyes tightly closed Christopher focused hard on finding secure locations inside of David's mind to tether their bond to. Strong memories they had made together, emotional moments, moments of friendship, moments of trust.

David was startled as he felt a strange warmth inside his mind.

_That. Reach for it, go to it, do whatever feels like it'll keep it there._

David focused hard on the area the feeling was coming from, the feeling beginning to spread.

_Good. More. _

"Can't."

_You need to. Just a little bit further._

David took a deep breath, delving further into the thoughts that didn't belong to him. Memories that he had of his own, but seen from the other set of eyes, conversations heard from the other set of ears.

_Is this right?_ David asked inside his mind and Chris' hand moved from his face at last, moving to the back of his neck, thumb tracing the skin lightly.

_That's perfect._

It felt like a click as everything fell into place. David closed his eyes as an overwhelming rush of information entered his mind all at once. Memories and thoughts and dreams that didn't belong to him, all being exchanged for his own which were being shared with his new bondmate. His body burned. He didn't know when he started moving again.

He was aware of his eyes still being closed, Christopher's lips against his, moaning, panting, pleasure spreading through his veins feeling like cool water relieving burned skin.

_T'hy'la. Kashkau, wuhkuh eh teretuhr. Estuhn wi ri estuhn; k'wuhli wi ri k'wuhli. _

David whimpered against Christopher's lips as his body tensed, movements becoming erratic as he reached the dizzying peak of the most intense climax he had ever experienced.

"David," Christopher managed out as he peaked simultaneously, cock straining as he struggled to ejaculate barely a few drops, gasping in pleasure all the while.

Chests heaving they lay together, hearts pounding, bodies in sync as their new bond fluttered to life.

_I don't think I can move._

Christopher opened his eyes slowly, his free hand tangling in David's sweaty hair as he pressed a kiss to the side of his head.

"I don't think I mind too much."

* * *

"You're such as asshole!" Emily giggled as Leo pulled a face.

"Come on, it's not like you can _see_ to get awkward about it!" she argued and he stood his ground firmly.

"I'm not going in a girls underwear shop with you. It's bad enough you've dragged me around this place for hours already, but no. I draw the line at underwear shopping," he said stubbornly.

"You're such a butt."

"I know you are but what am I?" he teased and she sighed, crossing her arms.

"Seren, tell your brother to stop being such a baby," she said and Seren raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think I should get involved."

"Fine," Emily sighed, grabbing Leo's arm and starting to drag him along again, away from the store in question.

"Yay! Are we done now?" he asked with a smirk and she frowned.

"I thought you wanted to hang out? That was why you broke me out of jail, right?" she asked and he chuckled.

"Yeah. But… I'm kind of tired," he mumbled.

"You're _always_ tired. Hey, Seren, could you maybe check him over or something? He's always tired," she asked and Seren gave a small nod.

"Yeah. I can take a look at him for you. I need to get one more thing, can I meet you at the car shortly?" she asked, looking in the opposite direction to the exit. Emily nodded.

Seren had spent all day feeling like an awkward third wheel as Emily and Leo flirted outrageously. She couldn't wait to get away from them, as sweet as they were together, as it only reminded her of how much was riding on Leo's surgery being successful.

"Sure. I'll get crybaby here a cinnamon sugar pretzel for being so well behaved and we'll meet you there," she said and Leo grinned.

"I'm not allowed cinnamon sugar, makes me do strange things," he smirked and Seren nodded.

"Maybe another selection of flavour would be advisable, he does tend to have an adverse reaction to cinnamon."

"Why? What happens?" Emily giggled and Leo shook his head.

"You'll see."

Seren parted ways with Emily and Leo, the pair walking back towards the food-court and the promise of sugary-snacks.

"Why did you need black hair dye?"

"Not telling."

"Why shouldn't you eat cinnamon sugar?"

"Because I get really hyperactive," he confessed and Emily grinned.

"Oh we are _so_ testing this theory!"

Emily ate the first half of the pretzel before handing it over to Leo who put it in his mouth before retracting it.

"You've already bitten this!" he protested.

"Uh... yeah, so? I thought we were sharing?"

"Ew. Gross. It's got girl-germs all over it," he pouted and she rolled her eyes, smirking to herself as she saw him beginning to blush.

She couldn't help herself and leaned across the table, placing a light kiss on his cheek.

"Here. Have some more girl germs."

He froze and his eyes locked onto her face, one hand reaching out and cupping the side of her face, thumb lightly caressing her cheekbone in a way that made every hair on the back of her neck stand up. She stared into his eyes, so excited for the day he'd be staring back and actually seeing.

He inched slightly closer and her heart fluttered.

_He's going to kiss me._

She moved towards him, the gap between their lips evaporating quickly.

_Oh my god._

Her heart was pounding in her chest so hard it felt like it might explode, palms sweaty, mouth suddenly bone dry.

His lips awkwardly made contact with her cheek and she smiled as he pulled away and frowned.

"I missed," he sighed and she smiled, one of her own hands settling on the side of his face.

"That's ok, practice makes perfect," she said softly, leaning in and pressing her lips to his gently, pulling back after a few seconds and grinning as she looked at him.

His eyes were closed, lips slightly parted, expression on his face somewhere between complete wonderment and entirely lost.

"I uh… I guess you have better aim than me," he shifted awkwardly in his seat.

"For now Captain Kirk, for now," she smiled, taking his hand off her face and giving it an encouraging squeeze.

"Don't call me that, ever," he said, pulling a face.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because… well… I heard some stuff coming from Jim and Spock's bedroom that I really didn't need to hear, and now the words 'Captain' and 'Commander' are forever tainted," he chuckled and it was her turn to grimace.

"Gross."

"Yeah. Pretty gross."

She laughed.

"That's… wow… that's a pretty traumatising thought right there."

"Yes. Yes it is. On the plus side, it's taken care of the awkward boner I was worrying about hiding on the way out, but I guess every cloud has a silver lining!" he said cheerfully as he got up out of the chair, taking a large bite out of the pretzel he was still holding in his left hand.

Emily's jaw dropped.

It was a good few seconds before she started laughing hard.

"You're terrible!"

"Yeah, probably, what are you gonna do about it?" he smirked and she shook her head as she grinned, the smile staying on her face the whole way home. Not even the thought of her daddy finding out she'd been out with Leo was enough to make her unhappy as they quietly held hands in the car, him sitting in the back and her up front with her hand dangling between the seats.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :3**

**Leave a review if you'd like! Which couple are you rooting for the most? Who's your favourite of the kids? And how do you picture them? I love hearing different views on it :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**

**Here's the next part for you guys, thanks for being patient, and sorry it took a little longer than usual. I've noticed a lot of people in their reviews asking for more Jim and Spock. I'm trying, but I can't really force scenes if they are irrelevant to the story. There is some BIG Jim and Spock story coming up, but just be patient, we'll get there :) **

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

Joanna yawned and rubbed at her eyes.

It had been a late night, she'd been kept up as she alternated talking with her parents and Jim, neither of them knowing she was also talking to the other party.

Her father was annoyed about what was happening between Christopher and David, and Jim was annoyed that her father was annoyed. She'd often find herself caught in the middle when the two men would bicker, and would try and not take sides wherever possible. On this occasion, she secretly agreed with Jim. She understood that her father was less than thrilled about the fact Christopher had practically abducted her brother for his own needs for the time being, but couldn't understand how her father was so upset at the prospect of one of his children being in a relationship with one of Jim and Spock's children. As kids they'd all been best friends, and Joanna had always had a feeling something would happen one day that would bring the two families together.

Sipping at her much-needed cup of coffee, she pulled up her first assignment of the day, an article to translate into five different Federation planet languages before publication.

She narrowed her eyes as she read it before getting up from her desk, her heart pounding in her ears as she began to fill with rage.

Reaching the door of her supervisor's office, she didn't even knock.

"McCoy! What's the delay on-"

"This! You expect me to… this is bullshit! This is untrue!" she interrupted, brandishing the PADD at her superior who stared blankly at her.

"Untrue or not, that's not your job to decide, just translate it."

Doing her best to keep calm, she made another attempt at maintaining some degree of professionalism.

"If I could request another article to translate instead, I'd be more than happy to-"

"You've been given your assignment. When it's complete, you can have another."

"But-"Joanna began, stopping as she glanced back down at the article and the headline staring up at her.

The words burned at her eyes. She couldn't bear the thought of the damage this bullshit could create if it was to be published.

A series of pictures were attached and she shook her head as she looked at them.

Jim and Emily, out having dinner together. They'd been followed and photographed what looked like the entire time. Every smile, laugh and occasional touch was being made into something it most _definitely_ was not. A sordid affair. Between Jim and his own best friends daughter.

"You know this is all fabrication! I'm not translating this, it's a pile of… no. This is fucking outrageous. I'm not doing it," Joanna said firmly, setting the PADD down on the desk before her supervisor who looked up at her with mild interest at what she might do next.

"Joanna. I'm telling you that you have to-"

"Well in that case, I quit," Joanna said blankly.

"You quit?"

"I quit. You can take your bullshit article about my sister and my uncle Jim, and you can cram it right up where the sun doesn't shine. I'm done," she said, turning and storming out.

She grabbed her things from her desk, not that there was much there anyway, just a few pictures and her bag.

She made it all the way to her car before she felt herself beginning to calm down.

"Em… there's going to be a story, it's going to come out… you and Jim were followed that night you had dinner, and it's being implied that there's something going on between you two. Call me back when you pick this up," she left a quick message for her sister to warn her of the impending storm before starting to drive.

In a daze Joanna crossed town, parking her car in a familiar spot and walking to where she was heading.

She tapped on Jim's office door, finding it unusual that it was closed at all seeing as he liked to keep it open.

"Come in."

He sounded tired and he looked no better.

"Hey Jo," he said, pushing aside what he was working on and leaning back in his seat.

"Hey Uncle Jim, how are you?"

He shrugged and ran his hands through his hair.

"Stressed," he admitted.

"Yeah, you look it, I guess I'm the same," she said as she sat opposite him.

"What's wrong?" he asked and she shook her head.

"I just told my boss to cram his shitty job up his butt for trying to make me translate a bullshit story about you for some trashy magazine," she said and Jim's jaw dropped.

"You… did what?" he asked and she smiled slightly.

"You're welcome. Not that it'll stop it, they'll just get somebody else to translate it. It'll probably hit tomorrows headlines, just figured I should warn you to be ready for it," she said and Jim nodded.

"What are they talking shit about now? Am I dying again? Or did I have another orgy with some other bunch of people I've never met?" he asked and she chuckled.

Jim and Spock had always been under media scrutiny. It seemed people were just far too interested in them to leave them alone to actually just live their lives. When Jim had taken his wedding ring off for a few weeks the rumour mill had gone into overdrive, just as it had done when a picture of him appeared emerging from the hospital looking particularly skinny, though all he'd been doing there was visiting Bones on his break.

"Well… not exactly. They got some pictures of you and Emily having dinner the other night, and… well… they think you're having an affair with her," Joanna said and Jim raised an eyebrow.

"Oh boy," he muttered.

"Yeah."

They both fell silent until Jim began to laugh.

"Bones is going to go fucking crazy when he hears about this! I mean Jesus; I thought he was mad enough about David and Christopher, and now this too? He'll have an aneurism or something," he said and Joanna smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. Probably. Have you heard from David or…?" she asked, trailing off immediately at the look on Jim's face.

He only looked his age when he was tired. Otherwise he looked almost the same as when she knew him as a little girl.

His startling blue eyes were dull today, with dark circles beneath them, lines in his face that looked shallow just the day before now seemingly much more pronounced.

"No. Haven't heard anything. I mean it's only been three days… could go on for a week. I was getting tempted to go let myself into his apartment… but I don't think that'd go down too well. I might get Leo to come let me in, but that's not really fair with him and his surgery coming up and-"

Jim stopped talking abruptly and Joanna narrowed her eyes.

"What surgery? I thought he already had that vision treatment… Seren did it with the transporter? What are you talking about?" she asked and Jim quickly backtracked.

"I uh… yeah that's what I meant."

"No it isn't. You said surgery coming up. What surgery?" she asked and Jim shifted in his seat and scratched his face, fingers scraping over two days of golden stubble.

"I can't say. I've already said too much and I… I can't talk about it," he said.

Joanna was silent for a minute, carefully considering her next question.

It was very obvious to her that Leo was sick with something. She hadn't wanted to say, and she didn't see him as often as she once did, but he had certainly changed. He'd looked exhausted and weak, and thinner, and like he was struggling to keep himself upbeat and chattering away as normal.

"How bad is it? Is it his heart again?" she asked quietly and Jim sighed, his eyes dropping and focusing on the desk before him.

"It's not his heart, but it's pretty bad," he said and Joanna was silent, just allowing him to talk in his own time.

She wasn't prepared for the answer she was given, nor did she know how she would keep it a secret from her sister.

* * *

Christopher opened his eyes slowly.

Relief flooded through him as he realised it was over, the burning in his body had stopped.

His eyes locked onto the person he had to thank for it. He couldn't remember much of what had happened, and he was relieved to see he appeared uninjured.

David's face was relaxed as he slept; hair a mess and a small amount of dark stubble on his face. He looked a lot like his father with his eyes closed. Chris took a few seconds to appreciate how handsome his new bondmate really was, with his chiselled jaw and strong cheekbones and striking blue-gray eyes.

"Stop staring at me you creep," David mumbled sleepily and Chris smiled to himself, resisting the urge to cuddle up to David and keeping his distance.

He tried to reposition and flinched as his right wrist wouldn't move. He moved his pillow and groaned as he noticed himself bound to the bedpost.

"Hey, be a pal and cut me loose?" he asked and David groaned before clambering across him, still naked, and unlocking the cuff.

Christopher winced as he brought his arm back down, rubbing his sore shoulder and where the skin of his wrist was aggravated from the cuff being around it too long.

"Thanks wifey," he smirked and David glared at him as he collapsed back into a horizontal position, laying on his stomach.

"You ever call me that again and I'll tell the whole damn universe how you just spent the last three days begging me to fuck you," he threatened and Chris sighed.

"Uh… yeah… if we could keep that between us that'd be great," he said and David smirked.

"God you were needy as hell, never seen anything like it. I'm so damn tired I don't think I can move," he mumbled as he closed his eyes.

They lay in a slightly awkward silence for a few moments until David spoke again.

"You're welcome, by the way."

"Thank you David," Christopher said quickly, responding to the prompt. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asked and David shrugged.

"Nothing I can't handle."

"So I did hurt you?" Chris asked and David sighed.

"Chris, I'm trying to sleep. Can we talk later?"

Christopher fell silent and David peeked one eye open to look at him.

"God damn it, don't sulk! Fuck. Look, you bit me a lot," he turned and angled his head so Chris could see the nasty wound on his neck, still covered in a little dried blood.

"And I'm bruised, and sore in a place you don't need to know about," he mumbled as he closed his eyes again.

Christopher stared hard at him for a few minutes as he stubbornly tried to go back to sleep.

_Really, David, thank you. I probably would have died and-_

"Cut that out. You don't need to thank me, I was hardly going to let you die if I could prevent it… just… we're never talkin' about this again, ok? Like… we didn't have sex. It didn't happen," he said firmly and Christopher nodded.

"Right."

"And this mind… thing? We can get that broken, yes?"

"Uh… it isn't really that simple, but we can look into it. I mean do you not want… to… be bonded?" he asked and David's eyes widened.

"God damn it man, you really think I wanna spend my whole life listenin' to your stupid space-elf thoughts? No. Hell no."

Christopher felt heat rising in his cheeks as he began to blush. He felt a strange tightening in his chest that he'd never before experienced and an odd sick feeling accompanying it.

"I didn't mean it like that," David quickly corrected.

"I understand. I don't really want to be bonded to you either," Christopher shrugged as he got out of bed and stretched before heading in the direction of the shower to wash away three days he'd really rather not think about, and doing his best not to show much David's comment had stung.

David lay in Christopher's bed and listened to the water running.

There was no doubt in his mind this had altered their friendship in a way that meant things between them would never be the same again, but David was conflicted. Part of him cared deeply for his part-Vulcan friend, but another part of him felt it was _only_ as a friend. Certainly their physical acts had gone beyond the boundaries of friendship but he couldn't process his thoughts clearly enough to decide if he wanted those things to continue happening.

"God damn it all," David muttered as he hauled himself out of bed, scrambling for his clothes that had been lying forgotten on the floor the whole time. He pulled on his boxers first, hunting around for his jeans and shirt, locating the jeans first and pulling them on. As he fumbled to get them buttoned he looked up.

"Running away, huh?" Christopher asked, dark eyes staring at him accusingly. He was only wearing a towel, and water was running from his sodden hair down his chest.

_Don't. Don't look. Just look at his face. Just because of what's happened it doesn't mean its forever. He's just your friend. Just your friend._

"I uh… yeah. I need to go home," David said, scratching the back of his head and ruffling his hair.

Chris nodded shortly.

"Sure. Don't let me hold you up," he said, walking past him closely enough for their shoulders to just brush against one-another and going to his closet.

David stared at his turned back, eyes following the trickles of water descending over the toned flesh before he snapped out of it and continued fastening his pants.

A shuffling of fabric announced that Christopher had dropped his towel and was scrambling for clothes.

"Dude, I'm still in the room, do you mind?" David frowned and Chris pulled a face, but kept his back to his friend as he snatched a pair of boxer-briefs from his drawer and put them on.

"Really? You're going to go weird about this, after what we've been doing for the last three days? I'm pretty sure you must know what I look like naked by now."

"I… yeah… but I mean, it's all over, right? We can go back to being buddies again and not fucking each other. What even _was_ that anyway?" David asked and Christopher sighed.

"It's called Pon Farr, the Vulcan mating drive, and it works on a seven year cycle. Basically. Vulcan's are most often pre-bonded at the age of around seven, their bondmate is selected for them and a mental link is established which when they mature will become a full bond. None of us three had this, because Jim wanted us to be able to grow up and fall in love and bond with whoever we chose, he didn't want himself or Spock picking for us. I think it was assumed it wouldn't be a problem because we're only partially Vulcan, but, then I was a bit of an idiot and started joining my mind to yours without realising I was doing it. All that goofing around with mind-melding when we were kids? Yeah. I didn't realise until lately that I'd done it."

Christopher didn't turn to look at David, but pulled a clean white tee from his closet and pulled it over his head as he continued to explain.

"Now usually, Pon Farr doesn't happen until around age thirty-five. I think because I never actually meditate or do a whole lot to control my mind I brought it on myself," he finished and David nodded once to acknowledge what had been said.

Their eyes met for a few seconds, both remaining stock still and just staring at each other.

Chris took the first step forwards, one hand settling on the side of David's face, the other on his side, warm skin soft under his fingertips as David's shirt still hung uselessly from his hand.

Their lips brushed together lightly, a short, chaste kiss very different from the others they had shared.

David jolted backwards, shaking his head.

"No. I can't do this. I… I'm straight. I've told you this. I only did this to save your life. I… well… I don't want a relationship with you, I don't feel that way about you," he said quickly and Christopher didn't visibly react at all, though on the inside he felt panic rising.

"That's fine," he said quietly and David nodded, pulling his shirt over his head quickly.

"Probably better if you leave now."

"Oh believe me, I'm going," David said as he snatched up his jacket and started heading for the door.

"In a few weeks it wont be awkward between us anymore, don't sweat it, I know you're straight too, I understand now, it was an accident right? It's cool. Let's just… not talk about it again, and speak to someone about breaking this mind… bond… whatever. Later, man," David said as he let himself out, Christopher standing damp and dumbstruck in his boxers and tee-shirt.

He stared at the door for a few seconds before running a hand through his wet hair and heading back into the bedroom to finish getting dressed so he could go and do the only thing he felt he could do at this point, run home to his parents like a scared little boy.

* * *

"Thank god you're alright," Jim sighed as he dragged his son into a hug.

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine," he mumbled against his shoulder, trying to get away from the contact.

"Are you uh… all… sorted?" Jim asked awkwardly as he let him go and Christopher nodded.

"Yeah. I'm ok. I mean, I… David is weird as hell, about all of it, I mean I can't say I blame him, but yeah, we aren't together or anything, and we'll break our bond, it isn't all that strong anyway, I didn't do a very good job of it."

Christopher was doing his best to ignore the part of his mind that was connected to David's. There were thoughts there, information flooding in from where David hadn't shielded it, but he ignored it. He didn't want to think about David.

Jim glanced at Spock who looked just as relieved as he felt that they'd got their son back in one piece.

"And David is uninjured?" Spock asked and Christopher nodded.

"Yeah, turns out I was… uh… he's fine, yeah, he's fine," he quickly averted but Jim caught his eye and understood what he meant, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Glad to hear it, maybe now Bones will calm the hell down. And you guys are sure you aren't going to… have a relationship now?" Jim asked and Christopher shook his head, though a flicker of uncertainty lingered in his eyes.

"Yeah. David decided, _we_ decided. We don't feel that way about each other, we're just friends you know, and this whole thing was just me having been really, really dumb. But it's fine, I'll do my meditation now and next time I'll be ready for it, I'm sure David will still be around in seven years as my friend."

Jim looked carefully at his eldest son. He looked hurt, like someone had said something to upset him, but Jim knew he was unlikely to get a straight answer. He wondered if perhaps the feelings between David and Christopher were one-sided, and Chris had wanted to keep their bond and build a relationship whilst David didn't want to do that.

"Well alright, so long as you're ok. Spock, how hard would it be to get their bond broken?"

"They would require the assistance of a Vulcan healer, so would likely need to travel to New Vulcan, however if they are true T'hy'la, it is unlikely the bond will be able to broken well. The experience will be highly unpleasant and a residual bond will remain between them," he said and Chris shrugged in a way that said to Jim 'what David wants, he gets'.

"You don't want to break it, do you?" Jim asked and Chris tensed.

"I… don't want to talk about it. Is Leo here?"

Jim and Spock glanced at each other before Spock spoke first with a quickly concocted lie.

"Leo is with Emily McCoy, I believe they went to the park."

Chris smirked.

"So he's still trying to get in her pants?"

"No, Chris, it's really sweet, that's not what he's trying to do. They're like lovesick puppies around each other, it's so cute," Jim said and Chris pretended to retch.

"Disgusting Anyway, you got any food? I'm starving!"

* * *

Sheepishly, David knocked the corner of his father's office at the hospital. He'd gone home first but nobody had been there, a note left on the side told him his mother had gone to Starfleet London for a conference, and his father was at work until much later.

"Just a second," his father called from inside the room.

David waited patiently until the door slid open, his father standing on the other side and blocking most of his view into the room.

He glimpsed familiar golden hair sitting in a chair over near the corner, connected to some kind of IV drip filled with a greenish liquid, before his father stepped forwards and the door was closed behind him.

"Was that Leo? Or Jim?"

"None of your damn business. Are you alright?" he asked, tricoder appearing from nowhere and whirring as it was rapidly waved around in front of his face.

"I'm fine. Really. I'm ok," he said and Bones relaxed.

"I was real worried about you," he sighed and David nodded.

"Shouldn't have been, I can take care of myself," he shrugged.

"I know that, but against sex-crazed Vulcan? I don't know, I don't _want_ to know. Right, come with me, I'm checking you over, never know _what_ you might have caught from that kid," he said and David blushed bright pink as his father began to drag him down a corridor.

"Dad! Stop it! I'm fine, really, I'm sure I haven't-"

The rest of his sentence was cut off as he was roughly sat down on a bio bed, then pushed so he was laying horizontally. Bones frowned as he caught sight of the bite mark on his son's neck before grabbing a hypospray from the side and jabbing him in the neck with it.

"_Dad_!"

"Oh quit your whinin', you sound just like Jim," he grumbled as he took a blood sample and wandered off with it.

David sat up and glared after him, bringing his knees up and curling his arms around them, sitting in a ball until his father returned a few minutes later.

"Well, you seem to be fine, but that nasty mark on your neck could do with some seeing to."

David allowed his father to patch him up. He stayed silent the whole time, trying to make sense of the mess of thoughts and feelings flooding through him. A hand waving in front of his face brought him back to reality.

"Earth to David, come in David," Bones smirked as David snapped out of his trance.

"Sorry, huh?"

"I was asking if you're y'know, are you and Kirk in a relationship now?"

"No. We're not, and we never will be," he said firmly and Bones nodded.

"It's fine if you are, I mean, I don't mind, man, woman, whoever makes you happy, but just-"

"We're not. I don't feel that way about him. I just did what I had to do to help him out… that's as far as it goes," he snapped and his father retreated a few steps away from him.

"Alright, Jesus, don't take it out on me."

"I'm not, I just. God damn it, I don't even know. I need to go to sleep," David scratched his face. The stubble on his chin was itchy, he never usually let it go beyond a day, hating the feeling of not being clean-shaven.

"Go home and go to bed, doctors orders."

David rolled his eyes and left, glancing at the door of his father's office on the way past it.

Had it been Leo or Jim he'd seen sitting in there? His mind couldn't quite process the image, he'd only had such a quick glimpse, just about catching sight of the back of their head, the familiar golden hair and then the IV drip next to them.

He turned a corner of the corridor and saw Seren walking towards him in medical uniform, striding purposefully as if she was in a hurry to get somewhere.

"Seren! How it going?" he asked and she smiled slightly.

"I'm relieved to see you survived the last few days," she said shortly.

"Yeah, me too," he said awkwardly.

"I should go, I'm dealing with a patient," she said and he nodded as she continued walking down the corridor. She looked worried, pale and tired.

_Ask her what she looks so worried about._

David flinched as Christopher's voice rang loudly through his head.

_Get out of here! What I'm doing is none of your damn business, leave me alone._

The voice fell silent and David made his way home, taking a long hot shower before fixing himself a decent meal and then curling up on the couch once he'd eaten.

Around mid-day Emily wandered into the room, still in her pyjama's and her hair a mess.

"Morning," he mumbled and she smiled at him.

"Hey stranger, you all done with your sex marathon?" she smirked and he raised his middle finger to her as she chuckled and sat down by his legs.

"I am thanks," he responded and she laughed.

"You look exhausted."

"I feel exhausted, you should try doing that for three whole days, holy shit," he complained and she laughed again.

"You slept in late," he pointed out and she shrugged.

"I was up late last night," she said with a small smirk and he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? Am I not the only one who's been gettin' some Kirk lately?"

She blushed slightly and shook her head.

"No. Not like that, but I was with him last night. We were just watching movies and lost track of time," she explained and David smirked at his older sister.

"Oh yeah? Watching movies huh?"

"Yes! That's all I swear!" she blushed a deeper red as she remembered the previous evening.

_She could feel herself trembling slightly as they sat together on the couch, movie on in the background but neither of them really paying attention. Their thighs were so close they were almost touching, and the temptation for her to take his hand was growing._

_"You cold?" he asked as he noticed her body quaking._

_"No," she mumbled and he moved slightly closer, his hand fumbling for her knee and missing by a few inches but then correcting quickly._

_"You're wearing shorts? No wonder you're cold!" he laughed as he trailed his fingertips over her kneecap, making her shiver._

_"Yeah but I'm wearing tights with my shorts, that's different," she pointed out, trapping a small piece of the nylon between her fingertips and stretching it before letting it ping back against her skin. He copied what she did with the tights covering her knee and smiled, leaning closer again._

_"You trying to flirt, huh?" she asked and he smiled innocently._

_"Is it working?"_

_"Maybe a little," she chuckled and he grinned, leaning closer again and draping his arm around her shoulder._

_"Good."_

_She cuddled in close as they momentarily went back to their movie before he began to speak._

_"So this morning I could see a little bit of light, not anymore, it's gone away again, but I could definitely see something," he said and she grinned, feeling her eyes fill with tears of happiness which she quickly got under control._

_"I'm so pleased for you," she grinned and he smiled, nuzzling his face against her cheek before placing a small kiss there._

_"You're so beautiful, I can't wait to see what I already know," he said softly and she giggled._

_"Stop it."_

_"No. Really, I know you're going to be the most beautiful girl in the-"_

_She silenced him by pressing her lips to his, kissing him gently. They broke apart after a few seconds and she opened her eyes to see him staring directly into hers._

_He moved forwards, kissing her more firmly though both of their mouths remained closed. One of his hands tangled in her hair and she whimpered against his mouth before she could stop herself as his hand on her knee moved up her thigh a little._

_She giggled and pulled his hand away from her leg, keeping it held in her own as their lips reconnected, this time his tongue tentatively pressing at her bottom lip. She kissed back, tasting him, losing herself a little bit. When she came back to her senses they were laying on the couch, tangled together and both breathing heavily._

_"Leo… you're bad," she giggled and he pecked the corner of her mouth._

_"You make me bad."_

_"Do not."_

_"Do too!"_

_"Shut up!"_

_"Make me," he smirked and she did, pressing her lips against his once again._

_They made out on the couch for the better part of two hours, until her lips were sore from the small amount of stubble on his face and both of their lips were swollen from overuse. Hands didn't wander, and he stayed respectful, keeping his hands either in her hair, on her face, or occasionally on her side or back. She was grateful for this, and felt completely at ease with his touch._

_"I should go, it's really late," she whispered and he leaned in to kiss her again._

_"Mmm don't go."_

_"Sugar, I have to," she mumbled and he pouted._

_"You should come and stay in my bed with me, I wanna cuddle."_

_"I do too, but didn't you say you had to be up early in the morning to go and meet Scotty?"_

_He frowned._

_"Yeah. You have a point," he sighed and she detangled herself from him and stood up, feeling lightheaded._

_Since their first awkward kiss in the mall, all she'd wanted to do was kiss him, over and over, and now she'd been able to she wanted to do so much more. He tasted sweet, and was soft but firm with every kiss and touch, he made her feel like he was really paying attention to every tiny detail._

_He could feel his control slipping, and desire beginning to overcome logic. All he really wanted to do was throw her over his shoulder and carry her to his bed where they'd spend all night doing things he'd only ever dreamed of, but he knew he couldn't._

"Em? So, what, you just spend all night making out or something?" David asked and she blinked hard before hiding half her face with her hand.

"Something like that."

"You know he's had a crush on you since as long as I can remember, right?"

She buried her face in both her hands.

"I know."

"So you aren't messing him around are you? You really like him?" he asked and she frowned.

"Of course I do, why would I mess with him?"

"Well I don't know, I remember when we were kids and you didn't have a crush on him and then you were seeing that other guy, which by the way Mom and Dad still don't know about. Is it because he's going to be able to see, that why you suddenly think he's good enough?"

Emily's hands balled into fists and she felt her temper rising.

"It's got nothing to do with that. Don't be such a dick," she spat, rising from the couch and storming back up to her room. She immediately tried Leo's comm. but found it was switched off. Frustrated she flung herself back onto the bed and closed her eyes.

* * *

Leo's head was spinning.

He bit his lip as he felt the needle being removed from his skin. He always hated the dragging pain of the IV line being pulled out.

"All done," Seren said and he nodded.

"And this has improved my chances, right?" he asked.

"Yes, it has, Leo I know how much you hate this, you're being so brave," she said and he frowned.

"Doesn't feel all that brave, it feels like fear… like I'm running for my life. But I'm not doing this for me anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and that needs to be a long time," he said stubbornly and Seren nodded, making a small sound of agreement.

Leo had reconsidered the last chemo. It was going to make him really, really sick and they both knew it. Bones knew it. Jim and Spock knew it.

"I love how you haven't even had an official date and you're set on marrying her," she chuckled and he grinned.

"It's gonna happen. I just know it. And then maybe in a few years we'll have a couple of kids, get a little house in the suburbs with a picket fence and we can video-comm. Jim and Spock out on their next big space adventure together and everything will be perfect," he said as he rolled his sleeve back down.

Seren smiled sadly to herself.

"You're such a hopeless romantic."

"Another way of saying it is a great big sappy mess. How do you put up with me?" he asked and she shrugged.

"I don't know, you have a pretty face, makes up for the sappiness," she said and he smiled.

"You're just saying that."

She laughed as she thought back to their childhood. Every single day Jim had made sure to assure Leo of his good-looks, and it was something Seren and Chris had adopted doing as they'd grown up. Leo would always laugh off their comments, sometimes he'd blush if Christopher was particularly crude, but Seren knew that deep down he appreciated it.

"Alright, let's get me home so I can faceplant the shit out of my bed before this crap kicks in," he said as he hauled himself to his feet.

"You got it," she nodded.

* * *

Joanna McCoy arrived home mid-afternoon, a fresh set of cadet reds tucked under her arm.

Jim had fast-tracked her admission and she was now a Cadet, he'd insisted as he argued she technically quit her job because of him so it was the least he could do. She'd join classes on Monday, going straight in as a second-year due to her previous linguistic experience.

But that wasn't what she was thinking about.

With trembling hands she set down the bundle of clothing and then sank down into the couch. Jim had broken down. He'd told her everything. Leo had cancer.

_Cancer_.

The word sounded so definitive, so final, so convincing that there was no way out of it, no way for him to survive.

He was pushing himself hard, trying to remain normal around everyone who didn't know whilst completing gruelling chemotherapy. No wonder he always seemed tired.

Joanna didn't know how to handle the information.

Half of her felt like she should tell her siblings. Emily most of all deserved to know. She was clearly becoming attached to him, and he was lying by omission by keeping the information from her. But if David found out, Christopher would find out, and it had been kept from him as Jim had no idea how he'd handle it.

Jo agreed with Jim. Christopher's reaction could be extreme to something so upsetting.

She pulled herself back up from the couch and strolled over to the small kitchen area, picking up the bottle of Bourbon she kept there on the side. She didn't have to hide it in her own apartment, not like Bones kept it stashed under the sink from Carol.

Not even bothering with a glass she unscrewed the cap, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a slow gulp, embracing the burn in her throat.

Her door chime sounded some time later, and she dragged herself to her feet, not even remembering sitting on the kitchen floor.

She swayed slightly as she opened the door, wiping away a few tears on her face with the back of her hand.

"Jim told me that he told you," Seren said quietly.

Joanna nodded and hiccupped. Seren stepped into the apartment, gently prying the bottle of alcohol from her hand. Joanna had expected her to place it on the side, and was surprised when she brought it to her own lips and took a hearty swig.

"I don't know what to do," she whispered as tears burned at her blue eyes. Jim's eyes.

"I don't know how you've –hic- kept it so quiet," Joanna sniffled.

"It has been incredibly difficult, and even more difficult to maintain any kind of control over my emotions," she admitted, wiping away the single tear that had escaped onto her cheek.

"Don't. You can talk to me about it, if you want to get it all out," Joanna offered and her friend nodded.

She walked to the kitchen counter and placed down the bottle, before walking to the couch and looking at it as though she wanted to sit down.

"You can sit, if you like, stay and talk," Joanna offered and Seren shook her head, her face crumpling as her tears began to flow freely.

Joanna hurried to her and wrapped her in a hug.

"Shh, it's ok," she soothed as harsh sobs wracked her friends body.

"It isn't. I don't know what's going to happen, and he's got these huge dreams and I want, god, I want him to have everything he wants. I'd give anything for it to be me instead," she managed out between uncontrollable sobs.

"Jim said the same thing," Joanna said quietly, one hand rubbing soothing circles into the taller woman's back as she held her in a comforting embrace.

"He wants so badly to get married and have babies with your sister," Seren sniffled and Joanna smiled.

"Known that since pretty much the day she was born, he wouldn't stop grabbing at her, I remember it so clearly."

"I want him to have all of that. I saw them kiss at the mall the other day, and he missed her mouth, it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen, he blushed so badly," Seren said with a small chuckle as she tried to pull herself together.

"Just have a bit of faith," Joanna urged, pulling back and placing her hands on Seren's shoulders who nodded in response.

"We have to tell the others now though, it's unfair to keep it secret any longer, especially if his surgery is imminent," she continued and Seren nodded again.

"After Scotty's party, once all that is done with, we'll talk to him and get him to tell everyone," she said and Joanna made a noise of agreement, letting her hands fall back to her sides.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, both undoubtedly thinking the same thing.

How would Emily, David and Christopher cope with the truth?

* * *

**Thank you again for all the reviews on the last chapter. I'm aware this one is a little chaotic, but it's to set up the next chapter which is going to be pretty explosive. Stay tuned folks, and thank you for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**

**Hi, happy Hallowe'en! Hope everyone has had fun today/tonight :)**

**Little thing I just have to say because it'll bug me otherwise... I'm not ranting so I apologise if it seems that way, but I need to say something. I've had some more negative-ish reviews (which is fine, you can be negative if you like)about how it's taking me longer to update lately... saying like "WHY haven't you updated yet, it takes you forever, I want more NOW (normally right after I post an update, haha), etc etc". **

**Now I'd love to be able to update every day, I really would, it would make me so happy to be able to do that. Unfortunately, I also have a real life outside of writing this story, a full time job, a family, a partner, hobbies, evening classes, a social life (lol good joke...) lots of things. My life is really busy, and I'm honestly really struggling to write at all at the moment. Things will settle back down again i'm sure, but for now, all I ask is please be patient and please don't make me feel bad when I can't update right away? Pretty please? :) I'll update once a week minimum, but most weeks it'll be more, and if it ever goes over a week, please do PM me and yell at me, slap me in the face, whatever floats your boat. **

**I promise I won't leave you****, and this won't be one of those stories that never gets finished, because I already have the end two chapters written and I'm sure as shit not wasting them because they're epic! ;)**

**Thanks all, sorry if that sounded ranty, just needed to be said. Hope you enjoy... and more to come soon (should be in a few days this time as the weekend is coming up xD )**

**Sorry for typo's/silly errors, will proof read in the morning, just wanted to get this posted tonight!**

**Also, warning for this chapter for self-harm I guess. It isn't graphic or sustained or even particularly deliberate, but feel I should warn anyway.**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

Montgomery Scott roared with laughter as he opened the door of his house.

Before him stood the Kirk twins, dressed as none-other than their fathers.

"Evenin' Cap'n, Commander," he sniggered. 'Spock' nodded curtly with his hands clasped neatly behind his back and 'Jim' raised his hand for a high-five.

"Scotty! Nice costume! Now direct me to your liquor, and _that's_ an order," smirked Chris, straightening his gold shirt that was too tight across the shoulders. Scotty noticed his usually dark eyes had been disguised with vibrant blue contact lenses, and if it weren't for the pointed ears, he'd have been a dead ringer for his father.

"Aye Sir! Right this way," he laughed, pointing him towards the kitchen. Leo lingered in the doorway and Scotty clapped him on the science blue-clad shoulder.

"You guys look hilarious, nice job."

"Thanks Scotty. Originally I was meant to be Jim, but I got bullied into a last minute switch, not sure how I feel about hair dye… but I've been promised it'll wash out," Leo said, fiddling with the sleeves of the blue science jersey he was wearing. His hair had been dyed black and was pressed flat to his head. It was nothing like Spock's blunt style, but similar enough to make the costume obvious who he was dressed as.

"So where'd you get the shirts?" he asked and Leo smirked.

"Chris stole them from their closet this morning. Can't wait for their reaction when they see us, should be brilliant," he said unenthusiastically. He looked tired and miserable, and his hands were shaking slightly.

Scotty wanted to ask what was wrong, but he knew better. Jim had been quiet and subdued the last time he had seen him, and Scotty had a feeling his youngest son had something to do with this.

"Yeah, I'm sure Spock'll love it," he smirked and Leo nodded.

"I need to try and stay in character, that's going to be the hardest part."

"Don' worry about it, I'm sure once everyone's had a few nobody'll notice if you slip up. Now c'mon in and let's get you sometin' t'drink."

Leo placed his hand on Scotty's shoulder and allowed him to lead him through the noisy living room and into the kitchen here his twin thrust a plastic cup into his hand.

"Down in one," he ordered and Leo shook his head.

"No, I'm not drinking alcohol, not tonight," he said and Chris groaned loudly.

"Oh come! Live a little, all you need to do is- holy shit," Chris stopped talking and cursed under his breath as the door opened again and Emily, David and Joanna entered from the living area, the three of them dressed as zombies.

David immediately looked at the floor, doing anything in his power to avoid looking at Christopher who also looked away, though he looked anywhere than at the floor, he was staring right at Emily and at what she was wearing.

"Zombie cheerleader? Bit unimaginative, don't you think?" he asked and she shrugged.

"Least I'm not dressed as my dad," she smirked as she looked him up and down before draping herself all over Leo in a way that told Chris just how much she'd already had to drink.

"Evening Commander," she purred into his ear and he swallowed hard, willing himself to stay in control of his body and keep at least _some_ of his blood in his brain to allow him to retain the power of speech.

"H-hi Emily," he managed out, shifting awkwardly as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and leant in to kiss him.

Christopher made a loud gagging noise and Joanna frowned.

"Oh grow up!"

"I am grown up, it's just gross!"

"In what possible way is it gross?"

"Because it's my baby brother! And he's got a half-naked zombie girl draped all over him," he frowned at Emily's costume. It left very little to the imagination, with a short skirt and barely-there crop-top.

"Hey! I am not half naked!" she protested and Chris snorted.

"Yes you are. You look like a slut."

Christopher stumbled forwards and almost lost his balance as his twin pushed him with all his strength.

David pointedly left the room. Scotty watched the situation unfold nervously, wondering if he'd have to call Spock to separate them if they started to fight.

"Apologise," Leo said coolly and his twin stepped forwards, squaring up to him.

Emily dived in between, one hand on each of their chests keeping them apart.

"Both of you calm down, okay? Chris, fuck you," she spat, turning her back on him and leaning in to hug Leo who continued to glare in the direction of his brother over her shoulder.

"What? What are you gonna do? Huh?" he asked with a smirk curling on his lips.

"Nothing. But you need to apologise to Emily, that's not a nice thing to say, and if anyone is a slut here it's _you_," he pointed out and green blush began to creep into Christopher's cheeks.

"Sorry Emily," he said quickly, taking a large gulp of his drink.

She shrugged and gave him a dirty look.

"Alright, gents, shake hands, no fightin'," Scotty said, finally coming to his senses and trying to mediate the situation.

_You're an asshole_ Leo growled mentally to his twin as they reluctantly shook hands.

_You should see what she's wearing and you'd agree with what I said, she looks a mess._

Chris left the room, going back into the living area with a drink in each hand.

Scotty also made himself scarce, mumbling something about Jim and Bones arriving soon and needing to fix his costume. He was dressed as count Dracula, with pale face make-up and a long black cloak.

Joanna smirked as she stood in the kitchen with Emily and Leo.

"I feel like a third wheel," she said as she poured herself another drink. She intended on getting as wasted as possible, hoping to forget what she'd learned about the younger Kirk twin a few days prior. Whenever she looked at him she could see it, the way he was starting to waste away, his pale skin, sunken eyes. He looked terrible now that she knew the truth.

"No, don't be silly Jo, you aren't a third wheel, you can stay and hangout with us," he said sincerely as Emily stood beside him mouthed to her sister 'don't listen to him'.

"I'm going to talk to David, I'll be right back," she said as she picked up her drink and left the room.

There were already quite a few people at the house. Scotty's party was an annual occurrence, and his house was suited perfectly for it with two large reception rooms and a spacious kitchen leading into a dining room, there was plenty of space for people to spread out. Their group was the youngest there, as most of the guests were people Scotty had known from the academy or during his days out on the Enterprise. He'd stayed one mission longer than Jim had, a two year stretch, before returning to Nyota and their young daughter.

Joanna had always found Scotty and Nyota's relationship odd. They were married, it had been a tiny ceremony with only a handful of guests, but each had their own house as they preferred it that way and could easily afford it, and they alternated spending time at each-other's home, they went on missions apart, splitting the care of their daughter and then cherishing the time that they did spend together. They were two independent people who behaved more like a couple who were casually dating than a couple who had been married for over a decade.

Emily stumbled slightly as she took a step closer to Leo and then burst into uncontrollable giggles.

"You're drunk," he pointed out and she shook her head.

"No, no."

"Yeah, sure you are, I can smell it. Come on, I'll take you home and you can sleep it off or somethi-"

Emily cut him off by crashing her lips to his in a sloppy kiss. He pulled away.

"Ok, you're _definitely_ drunk young lady," he said with a small sigh and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"We should get out of here, both my parents are out… my house is empty… nobody around to disturb us, we can do whatever we want," she mumbled suggestively, pressing her body against his. He froze for a second before pulling away.

"You're really drunk, come on Em, I'm not going to do anything with you when you're drunk."

"You're such a gentleman," she giggled and he nodded.

"Yeah. Maybe. Is your dad coming? Maybe he can give you a hypo to sober you up?"

"Yeah he's coming with Jim, should be here soon," she said, leaning back against the countertop and pulling at her short skirt. Maybe she was dressed a _little_ too provocatively; especially considering Leo couldn't even see her to appreciate the effort she'd gone to.

They were both distracted by loud laughter from the doorway and Emily turned to find her father and Jim standing there.

"Oh Leo you look awesome! This is fucking hilarious!" Jim laughed as Bones continued to shake with laughter beside him.

Leo immediately dropped into character, straightening his spine and stiffening his limbs, hands clasping behind his back.

Jim laughed harder and Emily pressed drinks into his and her father's hands. They both already looked well on their way to being drunk.

Jim was dressed as a pirate, but Emily was quick to notice her father hadn't bothered with the compulsory fancy dress and was still in his medical uniform.

"Hey! How did you get in without a costume?"

"I'm myself, aint that scary enough?" he said with a raised eyebrow and she shook her head.

"You better not be plannin' on wearin' that the rest of the night! Go put some clothes on," he ordered and Jim laughed.

"Oh Bones don't worry it's Halloween! Everyone gets a little crazy and…- hey that had better be non-alcoholic young man!" Jim scolded as he spotted Leo sipping from a cup.

"I hope so, I have no fucking idea what it is," he mumbled.

"Here buddy, let me see," Jim took the cup and sipped it before pulling a face.

"No there's something in that. Here I'll get you a fresh one," he said, busying himself with raiding Scotty's fridge in the hunt for something non-alcoholic to drink.

Leo settled with water.

His head was throbbing and he felt sick and shivery. He'd spent the better part of two days in bed following the chemo, and when he'd crawled back out of bed Emily had been pissed off at him for vanishing for two days. He'd struggled to find an excuse, so hadn't really explained his absence, and they hadn't spoken too much since.

He knew the day was fast approaching when he'd have to be honest with her, but he wasn't ready to tell her, he didn't want to scare her off when things had been going so well between them.

The evening passed in a blur of drunken antics, laughter and bad dancing.

Everyone had got very drunk very quickly, and Leo found himself more and more uncomfortable and wishing for his bed. Emily was behaving in a way entirely out of character for her, being incredibly flirtatious and insistent, Jim was too drunk to function correctly and was dancing like a moron, Scotty egging him on and joining in in equal measure. The only comfort Leo had was the tiny flickering of white across the centre of his vision when he turned his head a particular way.

"Hey Bonesy?" he asked of the tipsy Doctor who had stayed stood beside him as Emily had run off to sing Karaoke with Jim.

"Hmm?"

"What's that, right there?" Leo asked, squinting and pointing directly at the object.

Leonard followed his young namesakes gaze and grinned, clapping him on the shoulder.

"That's a light buddy, congrats."

"Oh wow really? So I'm not imagining that?"

"Oh no. That's it for sure. Here," he waved his hand between the light and Leo's face, interrupting the light and making Leo blink rapidly.

"What's doing that?"

"My hand. I'm putting it in front of the light to prove you're really seeing it. Hey Jim!" he called.

Jim was giggling with Emily as they tried to pick a song to sing, rifling through the twentieth century folder.

Bones rolled his eyes. He, Jim and Emily had laughed hard at the bullshit story that had been published claiming Jim and Emily were an item, but Leonard understood the basis of it. Jim Kirk was a flirt, plain and simple. He'd giggle a lot and touch people in a friendly way that would suggest flirting to the untrained eye that didn't know he was exactly the same with everyone, and even with the doctor himself when he'd had a few to drink.

"KIRK GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT THIS SECOND!" he roared and the whole room fell silent for a second. Jim hiccupped loudly and laughter broke out.

"Yes dear?" he slurred, stumbling towards the doctor, taking another swig from his glass.

"Leo. I'm going to put my hand in front of the light again, you tell me when it flickers okay?" he said and Leo nodded.

Bones slowly moved his hand in front of the light.

"Okay, uh… now. You're blocking it."

He moved his hand away.

"And it's back again. Hey, this is pretty cool," he grinned and Jim's eyes widened.

"Oh god, m'gonna cry," he blurted out as he threw himself at his son, grabbing him in a bear hug so powerful it almost sent the two men tumbling onto the floor.

"Oh jeez," Bones rolled his eyes at his wasted friend.

"Hey Jim? Jim! Earth to Jimbo, pull yourself together man!" he said, shaking him roughly by the shoulder as he rambled to his son.

"-And I'm so proud of you, and I –hic- I always knew one day we'd find a way, and I… we're gonna… we'll go and… s-see the stars like I've always wanted to show you-"

Leo nodded and patted his father on the back, gently trying to pry him away so he could escape him until he sobered back up.

"He's trashed Bones, I think he needs Spock and sleep," Leo said and the doctor sighed.

"I'm inclined to agree with your diagnosis. Dammit Jim, you handle your liquor like a seventeen year-old academy freshman," he grumbled as he pried him off his son who was quickly grabbed by Emily McCoy.

"Do you know Don't Stop Believing by Journey?" she asked and he pulled a face.

"Urgh. Unfortunately. Most overplayed song of all time."

"But do you know the words? And the tune?"

He shrugged.

"I know enough. Why?"

"Ok! Scotty I don't forfeit! I found a substitute for Jim!" she cried, grabbing Leo's hand and raising it above his head. He felt his face flushing hot as she dragged him forwards, stumbling with each step. He'd lost his bearings of where he was in the room and didn't know where the walls or door were.

"Emily, I don't want to. I want to go home," he protested and she shook her head.

"Nuh uh. You want t'stay," she slurred and he sighed.

"I'm not singing with you, I'll make an idiot of myself," he argued and she whined loudly.

"Leo, _please?_ I just want to sing with someone, and otherwise I'll lose to Scotty and I don't want that to happen," she pleaded and he took a deep breath.

"Fine."

* * *

David smirked as the woman wrote her comm. frequency on his arm. She was older than him by around ten years, and he had a feeling he'd seen her before, maybe around Starfleet HQ.

Still, she'd make a great change in the bedroom from part Vulcan _males._

He downed another shot, glancing around the room.

Joanna was nowhere to be seen, she'd probably stumbled her way back to the kitchen for more drinks. Between the two of them they were really getting through a lot and she'd been oddly quiet all night. Seren hadn't shown up at all and he wondered if that had anything to do with how quiet his sister was being.

He straightened his clothes and glanced at his face in a reflective surface, possibly the front of a cabinet on the wall, but he was entirely too drunk to know or care. The zombie makeup was staying well, and he decided he still looked acceptable.

He glimpsed fake Jim entering the room and picked up the last shot he had left and quickly vacated. The only place he had left to go to avoid him was the garden, so he snuck out of the side door of the house, planning on getting some air for a few minutes and hoping that Chris would leave him alone. The cool night air rushing up to greet him seemed to clear his mind of all but one thing.

Chris.

Christopher George Kirk.

Try as he might, David couldn't get his head around what they had done.

He couldn't even look at Chris, much less actually talk to him. It was entirely too awkward. Whenever he looked at him all he could think about was his face covered in a thin sheen of sweat, hair a mess, mouth hanging open in some kind of cry of pleasure, eyes dangerously dark, clouded with lust and passion and _need_.

_T'hy'la._

David downed his shot, vodka this time and he pulled a face. He must have got them mixed up. Jo drank vodka, he didn't.

He set the small empty glass down on the handrail surrounding the porch and wandered a few steps away from the door, glancing up at the sky. It was overcast, and the light pollution from the city was staining the clouds with a pungent orange hue. He longed to take a long drive out into the middle of nowhere, to see the stars clearly again, like he used to when he lived on the ship out amongst them.

David had always hated being the youngest of the group. The others had more memories of life on the ship than he did, and were closer in age to Joanna, who he considered not only his sister but one of his best friends. He was very close with his older half-sister, much closer than with Emily. They just… clicked, whereas he and Emily seemed to constantly bicker and deliberately annoy each other.

"Shame it's cloudy."

David jumped at the voice close behind him and then glared back.

"I came out here because I wanted to be alone."

He was silent for a few moments.

"You're never alone. Not anymore. I can hear everything you think since you don't shield anything, I know everything you do, and you should have the same for me, but you don't because you block it all and I don't think you even know you're doing it. You remember it? _Kashkau, wuhkuh eh teretuhr. Estuhn wi ri estuhn; k'wuhli wi ri k'wuhli. _Our minds, one and together, touching yet not touching, apart yet never apart. That's what it means, in standard," Chris explained and David frowned.

"I never even knew you bothered to learn to speak Vulcan, thought you were just babblin' gibberish, out of your mind."

"Of course I speak Vulcan."

"Well," David shrugged. "I don't know. Anyway, I'm going back inside and-"he stopped speaking as Christopher grabbed him by the shoulder, firmly but not aggressively.

"Can we talk?" Chris asked and David shook his head.

"No, Christopher I don't think that's a good-"

The hand on his shoulder tightened possessively.

"Don't walk away from me David," he growled and David ripped his shoulder from the part-Vulcan's grip, squaring up to the larger man.

"You stay the fuck away from me," he hissed, beginning to walk away.

David winced and cried out as a sharp pain coursed through his head, stopping him in his tracks.

He stared at Christopher who was quick to elaborate.

"You feel that? That's what I've been feeling since you left my apartment. New bonds require close physical proximity to settle down, and since you've avoided me like some kind of plague since that day, I've been getting one hell of a headache through the bond, and taking all of it on myself so you don't have to deal with it."

"I miss the part where that's my problem," David muttered and Chris took a step towards him.

"David. Look. As hard as this may be for you to believe, I… well… I have feelings for you. I want to work this out, and for us to be together-"

"Would you just shut up? And maybe let me explain my side of all this?" David demanded, shoving Chris in the chest though he didn't so much as flinch. He gave a short nod and David ran his hands through his hair, frustrated and anxious to get away from his bondmate as soon as possible.

"I thought I made this clear. I only did what I did to save your life, and I didn't just do it for you either. I did it for Jim and Spock, because I wasn't going to let their son die if I could do something to stop it. I don't feel any kind of romantic attraction to you, and I'd like to say you're still my best friend but if you keep actin' like this I don't think that'll be the truth. You need to get it through your thick skull Chris, we're not the new Jim and Spock, ok? We aren't going to be that couple. We aren't going to be _any_ couple. I'm sorry if I'm breakin' your sad little emotionally-stunted heart here, but it's the truth. Get over it," he said and Christopher visibly flinched before straightening his stance and pulling himself together quickly.

"I'll talk to Spock about getting a transport to New Vulcan as soon as we can," he said shortly and David nodded.

Chris was doing his best to look like he wasn't bothered, but his drunken state had left his controls weakened and he was giving himself away.

Realising he'd quite obviously just broken the other's heart at least a little bit, David reached out to touch his shoulder. Chris jumped back from the contact as if he'd been burned.

"Don't. Don't touch me. Stay the fuck away from me," he growled, shoving David backwards hard enough that he hit the wall behind him with dizzying force, sliding down it and ending up in a heap on Scotty's porch.

"Chris! Wait!" David tried as he watched the part-Vulcan storming away across the yard.

He didn't turn around and David just stared after him, feeling sick guilt bubbling up inside of him at the hurt he'd obviously caused and the strangest sense that he disagreed with some of the things he'd just said.

* * *

Spock heard a glass shatter in the kitchen and a low curse. He allowed a few moments before getting out of bed and pulling on a black robe that he usually wore for meditation before making his way downstairs.

"Jim what are you-"

Spock froze as he realized the gold-clad figure with his back to him was most certainly _not_ his husband, the droplets of green blood spattering the kitchen floor and the pointed ears giving it away instantly.

"He doesn't want me," Christopher mumbled pathetically as he looked at his hand.

He'd squeezed the glass that had been holding his drink until it had failed, driving the shards into his flesh as he hadn't released his grip.

"My son, you are not thinking clearly, you are under the influence of-"

"HE DOESN'T WANT ME! WHY DOESN'T HE WANT ME?!" he roared, throwing the remaining pieces of glass at the wall opposite him, flicking more blood from his torn hand at the same time.

Spock crossed the room in two graceful strides and swept his son into his arms, forcibly lowering the young man's arms to his sides as they began to thrash against him.

"Be calm," he said gently and Chris turned in his arms, doing the last thing he expected and wrapping his arms around him in an incredibly needy hug, beginning to sob into his shoulder.

Spock used the fact he was distracted to raise the bloodstained hand to his face and get a look at it. There were several deep cuts, one looking like it still had glass in it, and the bleeding was considerable.

"I… I don't understand, I thought that we'd… b-bond and that'd be it, that he'd see how I f-feel about… I… He's T'hy'la, but he doesn't want me. What do you do, if your other half doesn't fit? If the pieces don't match up?" he asked as Spock collected a clean cloth from the drawer and carefully wrapped his sons hand until he was able to get him proper medical attention. Dealing with his emotional state seemed much more important as he had never seen him so distressed.

"I do not know," Spock said honestly, raising Chris' hand so it was higher than his heart to slow the bleeding.

For a few minutes all that escaped the young man was incoherent drunken mumbling and crying of varying degrees of hysteria, his father just holding him in his arms, patiently waiting for him to start talking sense again.

"He fucking hates me. He hates me so much. He looks at me like I'm lower than him… and maybe I am… I've been living this… stupid rebellion for so long… and I don't even know. I don't hate you, sure I was mad at you, but now you're back and I don't hate you. It used to all be about getting a reaction, but now I don't even know what I want," he sighed, getting himself slightly more under control.

"I am certain that David does not hate you. I believe he is highly conflicted in his emotions. The relationship you share has undergone a dramatic shift, he needs time to come to terms with it," Spock explained calmly and Christopher sniffled.

"Your bond is causing you pain, as it has not yet settled," Spock stated. He could sense the pain emanating from his son, the waves of it rolling off him. He had a similar sensation when he was in close enough proximity to Leo, though that pain was different, that was a dull physical ache. Christopher's pain was purely emotional, and felt almost like a hand pressed to a hot stove and unable to peel itself away no matter how much it hurt.

"Feel like my head is going to explode," he said weakly and Spock nodded.

"I will attempt to teach you to block this sensation, in addition to educating you in correct meditation techniques. We will begin tomorrow once you awaken," he said and Chris looked down at the floor, sniffling again as a few new tears spilled onto his face.

"What's wrong with Leo, Sa-mekh? He's had me shut out of his head for almost two months… we used to be so close, and now he… he won't… he hides everything… where our minds were connected now it's just emptiness and I… don't… d-don't understand," he stumbled over his words as the large glass of whiskey he'd thrown back before breaking the glass began to hit him.

Spock slowly helped him to the couch in the living area and sat him down. The last time Christopher had called him 'Sa-mekh' he'd been only seven years old, and hearing it again, hearing it from his son as an adult in such a state of emotional distress stirred a deep protective, parental instinct within him.

"You are not speaking sense, you are highly intoxicated," Spock said calmly as he reached for his communicator.

"I'm not so drunk that I don't see the way you reacted to that question," Chris said much more clearly and Spock froze momentarily, meeting his son's eyes. They were glassy and out of focus, but the intent to know the truth was there.

Green blood seeped through the cloth and ran down slowly Christopher's forearm, staining the tri-banded sleeves of the borrowed shirt.

Spock did not answer his question, but sat beside his son and held him until he fell asleep, his head lolling onto his shoulder, Spock still supporting his injured hand to keep him from damaging it further.

He was able to comm. Seren who snuck downstairs to take a look at his injury and grimaced as Spock carefully peeled back the cloth.

"It'll keep for a few hours, let him sleep off the drink first," she said quietly as she looked over the wound.

"He asked me directly about Leo. I do not know how much longer I can avoid his questions," Spock said, eyes meeting Seren's before she quickly looked away.

"If he asks me directly I will not be able to leave him without an answer," she said and Spock nodded once.

"Are you going to move him?" she asked and he glanced down at his son sleeping face on his shoulder.

"Eventually. This is the closest I have been to Christopher in a long time," he said, not needing to elaborate.

He was enjoying the contact, far too much to let him go just yet.

Seren said nothing and sat on Spock's other side, resting her head on his other shoulder. He was initially taken aback by the display of affection but relaxed quickly, allowing his own head to droop until his cheek rested on the top of her head.

He sat in silence with his two children sleeping either side of him, wide awake and wondering about so many things simultaneously that it made his head spin.

* * *

"Come on Count Drunkula, lets get you to bed," Bones ordered as he dragged Scotty up the stairs of his own home.

"M'goin' m'goin," he mumbled as he held the wall for balance.

The sun was beginning to rise and the party had only just ended.

Leo and Emily were asleep on the couch in Scotty's den, usually off limits to party-goers, but he'd made an exception. Passed out on the floor near to them was Jim, sprawled on his stomach and snoring slightly as he often did when he'd been drinking heavily.

Bones would scrape him off the floor and hypo him up to his eyeballs in stimulants and hangover cure and he'd make a speedy recovery.

The doctor had found himself ending the night exhausted, sober and frustrated.

Jim had been pretty much uselessly drunk all night. Emily was far too drunk for his liking, and dressed in a way he _really_ needed to talk to her about. David and Joanna had also been drinking heavily, David having snuck off at one point before returning, holding himself slightly differently, moving gingerly as if he had hurt himself. He hadn't had the chance to ask before he'd vanished again, this time taking Jo with him.

Assuming they'd gone home, Bones had resumed his babysitting duties. Leo looked like shit, but everyone was too drunk to notice, and Bones had managed to discreetly get Scotty to let him take a nap on the couch in a quiet room, which turned into Emily curling up beside him and the two of them falling asleep together.

Bones sighed and crossed his arms over his chest as the drunken Scotsman managed to crawl into his bed, still in his full costume.

"G'night," he managed to mumble.

"Drunken moron," Bones muttered as he left the room, heading for Jim.

"Kirk, get your ass up, I'm takin' you home to your wife," he said, grabbing Jim by the shoulders and shaking him. Jim groaned loudly and kicked at his friend feebly as he was dragged to his feet.

"Idon'wanna," he slurred.

"Infant," the doctor grumbled as he dragged him to the car, dumping him in the passenger seat before going back in for Emily and Leo. He woke them up more nicely, but still rushed them a little, not wanting to leave Jim unattended too long.

Everyone was silent as Bones drove to Jim and Spock's house first.

He pointedly cleared his throat as Emily and Leo had a sloppy goodbye kiss in the back seat of his car.

"You keep that tongue in your own mouth young man," he grunted and Leo started giggling, breaking the kiss with Emily who glared at her Dad in the mirror. Jim just smirked like an idiot in the passenger seat.

"I'll see you later," Leo mumbled to Emily as he stumbled out of the car, reaching for Jim who swayed as he gripped his son's arm.

"Good god, it's the drunk leading the blind! Get over here before you make a mess," Bones ordered and Jim giggled feebly as he stumbled towards his friend, leading Leo behind him.

Not caring how early it was, Bones rang the doorbell and waited a few seconds before Spock appeared.

"Morning, I think these belong to you. This one's trashed," he grabbed Jim's wrist and raised his hand for him "and this one isn't, but he's about five seconds from being murdered if he keeps frenching my daughter in front of me," he said as he poked Leo firmly in the ribs who squirmed away from the contact.

"'Frenching', Doctor?" Spock asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"I'm sure Jim'll be pleased to explain when he sobers up," Bones said, handing Jim's hand over to Spock who took it carefully.

"Thank you for bringing me home Bones," Jim said slowly and carefully.

"You're welcome Jim. Call me when you wake up all hungover and I'll come laugh at you," he said with a small chuckle as Jim nodded mindlessly, smiling vacantly to himself as his eyes went out of focus again.

"Wait… am I dressed –_hic_- like a pirate?" Jim asked as he glanced down at himself.

"You are," Spock said.

"Why?" Jim asked, narrowing his eyes.

"It's Halloween Jim, dumb shit happens," Bones said and Jim giggled, lunging at Leo.

"He's a Spock."

"Yeah, but before you start molesting me, please remember I'm not the real Spock," Leo said and Bones laughed at his drunken friend one more time before beginning to retreat down the driveway.

"Good luck Spock, he's about the same level of drunk as his bachelor party!"

Spock raised both eyebrows and started trying to coax Jim into the house, knowing that he needed to sleep as he'd be feeling very sorry for himself when he woke up.

* * *

"Well, fuck," David mumbled.

Silent tears rolled down his half-sisters face.

"Is it… terminal?"

She shook her head slightly.

"He's fighting it, done with chemo and surgery coming up any time now."

David fell silent, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he tried to verbalise what was going through his mind.

_"Fuck_," he whispered.

"Yeah, pretty much," Joanna mumbled, wiping away a few tears with the back of her hand.

"How in the hell has he managed to stay acting so normal? I mean I know he's skinny, but damn, he puts on a good act."

Joanna shook her head.

"Seren told me that when he gets home he just crashes out. He saves up all of his energy for times when he knows he's going to be around people, and the rest of the time just sleeps."

David swallowed. His throat was dry. His ribs were throbbing, the pain getting worse as he sobered up. He was pretty certain Christopher had fractured one or two when he'd thrown him into the wall of Scotty's house. But he didn't care.

"Surely he's gotta be… in pain, right?"

Joanna nodded.

"Oh yeah, he's in a hell of a lot of pain. He's injecting himself with stuff to control it, and meditating, but yeah, Ser said he's going to be feeling it regardless," she said, pushing her damp hair off her face.

They were sitting in her living room, both freshly showered and changed for bed, David wearing pyjama pants he'd left there months ago and completely forgotten about but was now incredibly grateful for. Jo had even let him shower first.

"I don't understand how he can be so… calm."

"Neither do I."

"So is this why Jim drank himself retarded tonight?" David asked and Jo nodded.

"I'm guessing so."

David fell silent again, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Fuck it all, he doesn't deserve this."

They were both silent for a while. Joanna began to regret telling him, but she'd started to talk and hadn't been able to stop.

"Don't tell Chris," she said quietly and he shook his head.

"No, of course I won't."

They were silent for a few seconds before David added to his statement.

"He wouldn't cope."

* * *

**A/N**

**Reviews/constructive criticism welcome and very much appreciated :)**

**But please don't nag me for more just yet, haha ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**

**Eeeee! Finally made it to this point! I've had this chapter in my head for a while, so I hope the way I've written it makes sense to everyone! Thanks to all of you for the reviews/follows/faves... you're the best, cookies for all! **

**Also, if anyone wants a character profile type thing for any/all of the kids (if you want a better description of them, or a bit more in depth of their personality or anything) let me know in the reviews section and I'll send over the profiles I have written for each of them :)**

**Angst and sex warnings apply for this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen.**

The shrill tone of his communicator roused Leonard McCoy from his slumber.

He grumbled into the pillow and held tighter around the waist of his wife, waiting for the person attempting to call him to give up.

The sound stopped and he breathed a small sigh of relief, placing a kiss on the back of Carol's neck and shifting his body closer to hers.

"Mornin' darlin'," he murmured drowsily and she turned to kiss him gently.

"Morning. So you got in pretty late, good night?" she asked and he opened his mouth to start ranting about the _state_ people had got themselves into, but was interrupted before he could begin as the comm. sounded again.

"_God damn it,"_ he growled, reluctantly removing himself from the warm embrace of the comforter and snatching up the device, answering it without looking at the identity of the caller.

"Jim, I swear to god if you-"

"Not Jim," David's voice interrupted.

"Oh. Hi, good to know you're not dead," he scoffed. David had vanished before the end of the party and hadn't been answering his calls.

"Not dead. Not yet anyway, but I think I broke something," he said. He sounded in pain, like he was clenching his jaw as he spoke.

"Shit, what? Are you alright? Where are you?" he asked. Carol sat up, immediately awake, alert and concerned for her son.

"With Jo. M'ok," he said weakly and there was rustling as the comm. was snatched off him by his sister.

"He's got a broken rib," she said and Bones tensed.

"How did that happen?" he asked suspiciously.

"I tripped and fell down the stairs by the-"

"No you _didn't!_"

"Yes. I did. I fell, ok? Can you… come fix it? It really hurts," he mumbled pathetically.

Bones grumbled to himself as he made arrangements to call by Joanna's apartment to get David and patch him up.

"Kids! Why did we have any?! We could have had nice, quiet lives with just Joanna, _she's_ never given us any trouble," he said exasperatedly as he threw the comm. down on the bed and stormed over to the dresser to grab himself some clothes.

"Len, please just make sure he's ok. You don't think he and Chris… had a fight do you?" Carol asked hesitantly and Leonard felt his anger bubble up.

It would make sense. David had been avoiding Chris at the party, though the part-Vulcan had made several attempts to get close enough to talk to him.

"Might have been, I'll ask him, he's no good at lying to my face," he said in a low voice as he pulled on a pair of grey slacks.

"Just… don't go too crazy, alright?"

"Carol, I _do not_ go crazy, ever," he protested as he snatched a shirt from the wardrobe.

"Yes you do," she pointed out and he sighed.

"Only at something that puts you or the kids in danger. Those are the _only_ times."

"Or Jim."

"Oh hell no! If I went crazy every time that idiot got himself into danger I'd be locked in some god damn loony-bin somewhere," he grumbled as he picked up his jacket and comm. and headed out the door.

He arrived at Joanna's apartment fifteen minutes later and grabbed his med-kit from the back of the car.

Joanna let him in and he found David sprawled on the couch, laying awkwardly on his front with his arm above his head, trying to get comfortable.

"Left side?" he asked, taking one glance at the position of his body.

David nodded slowly and grimaced in pain.

"Alright, let's get you sat up and I can get a better look at you," he said, getting a hypospray from his supplies and loading it with a strong painkiller.

"Keep still," he ordered as he gently pressed it to his son's neck. He visibly relaxed almost immediately.

"That's some good shit," David murmured as Joanna and his father helped him to slowly sit up.

"Shirt off."

He did his best to remove his shirt, but was unable to lift his left arm properly and Leonard had to help him.

"Damn, I remember when I was young once," he sighed sarcastically as David's toned torso was put on full display.

"Yeah yeah," David muttered, closing his eyes as his father carefully turned him so he could get a look at the area causing him so much pain.

Leonard didn't even need the tricoder to verify the broken bone as it was clearly protruding against the skin, though it hadn't punctured it. The whole area was bruised and angry and swollen and as he worked to repair it he felt his anger bubbling up.

He didn't hang around to talk once he was finished and left the apartment with a quiet determination about him that was picked up on by both Joanna and David.

"Where do you think he's going?" Jo asked as she sipped from her cup of coffee.

David stretched and pulled his shirt back on.

"To kick Chris' ass," he said with a small but unconvinced smirk.

* * *

Jim did his best to ignore the pounding in his skull and the sick feeling in his stomach. He lay on his side, willing the room to stop spinning, and reached out for Spock, hoping the comfort of his touch would help him feel better.

He blinked when he found the bed empty beside him.

He sat up when he heard raised voices downstairs.

Chris yelped in shock as he was flung against the wall of the hallway, Leonard McCoy's fists balled in his tee-shirt and pinning him painfully against the wall. His hand was throbbing painfully from where he'd cut it on the glass last night and he couldn't use it to push the doctor off him.

"You want to tell me, _Kirk_, why my son has a busted rib? Hmm? Seems like somethin' you'd know about," he demanded.

Christopher's eyes widened slightly and he looked down at the floor.

"ANSWER ME!"

He looked back up and answered the question honestly, deciding it was his best chance of getting out of the situation alive and un-hyposprayed.

"We had a conversation last night which ended in David pushing me. I pushed him back and he hit the wall, I didn't mean to-"

"Whether you meant to or not, I don't give a _damn,"_ he growled and Chris did his best to stay still and maintain a neutral expression.

He could have easily pushed the middle-aged man away from him, could have picked him up and thrown him if he'd wanted to and his hand hadn't been injured and wrapped in a blood-soaked cloth, but he had more respect than that, and he wanted to let the doctor at least think he was in control of the situation.

"Did you, or did you not assault my son?"

"Assault is a strong word, Bones, let's not-"

Chris didn't flinch as the doctor's fist collided with his jaw. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, though it would have had he been human, but was certainly hard enough to get his attention.

"Don't you _fucking dare."_

Jim began to descend the stairs, shirt missing and rubbing sleep from his eyes but suddenly feeling a lot more awake as he saw his best friend with his son pinned to the wall in a death grip.

"Bones! What the hell is going o-"

"Damn it Jim! Your kid is out of control. He beat David up last night and-"

"I did not _beat him up!_ I pushed him, _once!"_

"But you're like some… fucking… superhuman… _freak! _You could have killed him!" The doctor raged and Jim dived into the fray, hangover suddenly feeling entirely non-existent as he did his best to pry the enraged doctor off Christopher who was doing his best to not react to the situation.

"Bones. That's enough."

"Jim I swear to god I-"

"Leonard. Leave. Right now. He's my son and I'll deal with him, you can't just come over here and start saying things like that," Jim said in his best stern Commodore tone.

The doctor took a sharp inhale and shoved Christopher hard into the wall, hard enough that his head snapped back and made contact with it.

"You… stay away from him or so help me I'll make you sorry," he growled and Jim pulled him sharply away from the young man.

Jim dragged his friend out of the house, staring him down for a few seconds outside before the doctor began to speak.

"Jim I-… I don't know what came over me. I saw David hurt and I just…"

"I don't want to hear it Bones. Not right now. You think it's easy on Chris? Being rejected like that? You don't understand what it's like to be bonded, to have that connection with someone, to feel that they are quite literally the other half of your soul. Christopher's mind wouldn't have been able to connect so easily if they weren't meant to be together, so you tell David to get his head out of his ass and figure it all out, okay? Because Chris isn't taking this very well," Jim raged, shivering with the cold of being stood out in the November air in only his pyjama pants.

"Oh what, and you think it's easy on David? To have his best friend just all of a sudden spend three days using him for sex and joining their minds in a way he didn't properly consent to?!"

"He would have consented; he wouldn't have been able to complete the bond otherwise! Chris's telepathy is weak, you know this for yourself, he's always struggled with it, he can barely even mind-meld," Jim argued, teeth chattering as he crossed his arms across his chest to try to keep warm.

"I think we gotta either keep them apart or get them to sit in a room together and work it out," Bones said quietly. He obviously felt bad for barging into the house and threatening Chris, but didn't want to vocalise his apology.

"I agree. More so with the second one. Now either fix my hangover or get out of here," Jim said, but he didn't smile. He didn't want to speak to the doctor right now; he wanted to speak to his son, to get his side of the story and to make sure that he was alright.

Bones left after giving him a hypo, much more roughly than was really necessary.

Chris watched Jim as he re-entered the house, shivering with the cold.

Jim had several questions for his son, but started with the one that seemed the most obvious.

"What happened to your hand?"

Chris looked at the floor and Jim took a step closer.

"Chris? Are you alright?"

When Chris looked back up he had tears in his eyes.

"I broke a glass, I crushed it in my hand… and I don't know why I did it, I just… it seemed like a good idea and I… I don't know," he said, his voice sounding higher than usual as he fought back tears.

"Hey, that's ok, sometimes everybody does things they don't understand. Can I hug you? Is that alright?" Jim asked. He knew Chris was sometimes weird about physical contact and that he'd made him uncomfortable the last time he'd hugged him.

The younger man nodded slowly and Jim advanced on him quickly, wrapping him up in his arms and holding him tightly.

"You're freezing."

"I know," Jim mumbled into his son's shoulder. "That's the only reason I wanted a hug, you guys are always so nice and warm!" he joked and Chris smiled faintly.

"Come sit with me? We'll talk it all out," he said and Chris nodded again, allowing Jim to lead him into the living room where they sat together on the couch.

Chris had vague memories of falling asleep there last night after his conversation with Spock, but had woken up in his own bed upstairs with no recollection of getting there.

Jim allowed Chris to talk, Seren creeping into the room and repairing his hand whilst he did so. He confessed the true nature of his feelings for David McCoy, and how crushed he was feeling at the strong rejection and the uncontrollable bond.

"You know when your dad and I first met we hated each other," Jim said, leaning back into the couch.

"You're my dad," Chris said flatly.

"Well, yeah, but you know what I mean," Jim said and Chris shrugged. Jim continued with his story anyway.

"Yeah. I cheated on a test that he programmed, and he didn't like that one bit, so he taddled on me and got me dragged in front of all the cadets, taunted me about my father, insulted my intelligence too. Damn smug pointy-eared asshole, I remember it like it was yesterday," Jim sighed and Chris raised an eyebrow as Jim began to reminisce about his past.

"Oh sorry. Yeah… uh… oh! So then I wasn't allowed to leave Earth, but Bones snuck me aboard the Enterprise, where I marched right up to Spock and told him he was wrong, everyone listened to me eventually and we saved the world together, and y'know, the rest is history."

Spock cleared his throat loudly from the doorway and entered the room, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"Pardon my intrusion, but I believe there are several inaccuracies in your story that I wish to correct," he said and Jim raised an eyebrow at him.

"No, Spock, that's totally how it happened. And then we became best friends, fell in love, and that was that."

_Spock! Shut up! I'm just trying to tell the short version to make him understand that even T'hy'la don't always get along perfectly._ Jim sent him a message through their bond to try and get him to stop ruining his story.

"Jim, you are failing to recount the incident where you stole command of the Enterprise from me by causing an emotional breakdown on the bridge, you also neglected to mention the fact that I had you removed from the ship due to your entirely unacceptable conduct and placed on a suitable planet until a time when-"

"_Suitable?!_ You call Delta Vega suitable? Suitable for what, freezing off my left nut?"

"I believe you are being overly dramatic as I am quite certain that both of your testicles are intact."

_Want me to show you? Just to double check?_

Christopher pulled a face and Jim laughed exasperatedly as Spock continued his story, ignoring the increasingly suggestive comments Jim was sending him through their bond.

"-and furthermore, it was not until quite some time after the events of the Narada conflict that I became aware of our strong compatibility as bondmates. Whilst Jim's point is sound in that yes, we did not always get along, his recollection of the events leading to our bonding was somewhat… selective," Spock finished and Chris looked between his two parents. Jim looked… flustered, and Spock looked quietly pleased with himself.

"I uh… thanks?" Chris said hesitantly.

Jim and Spock were looking at each other in a way he understood all too well, and didn't want to be anywhere near.

"I'm gonna go… home, y'know, to my place. I'll see if David will come over so we can talk, or I'll go to his house and talk to him… but yeah… I'll… uh… get out of your way," he said, quickly backing out of the room and retreating up the stairs.

Jim was on top of Spock and pinning him to the couch before Chris had even reached the top.

"My _unacceptable conduct?"_ Jim quoted and Spock's lips quirked up at the corners.

"You think you're so funny, don't you?"

"I do not have an opinion on my ability to be humorous at this time."

Jim growled in frustration and crashed his lips to his bondmates, hands tangling in silky black hair.

"Tonight. Me. You. A hotel. Not near the kids… not here. I'll show you how just unacceptable my conduct can be," Jim murmured into his ear, grinding his half-hard erection against Spock's lower stomach as he straddled him on the couch.

"I'm not looking! I swear, just need my comm." Chris awkwardly entered the room with one hand over his eyes.

Jim leapt off Spock and grabbed the device from the coffee table, handing it to his son.

"There, thanks. I'll go out and you guys can… uh… well… yeah, I'll see you later," Chris said, obviously detecting the sexual tension in the room.

"Chris we aren't going to-"Jim tried but their son was already rushing out the door.

"Damn it," he muttered, throwing himself onto the couch and sighing deeply. Spock and Jim sat in silence for a few minutes until Jim spoke again.

"Have you seen Leo this morning? He awake yet?"

Spock shifted slightly and took Jim's hand.

"He was awake earlier with some sickness but then returned to bed, he asked not to be disturbed as he wishes to sleep all day," he said and Jim shook his head.

"He can't keep sleeping all day Spock, he needs to eat, get stronger for his surgery," Jim said and Spock nodded, running his thumb gently over Jim's knuckles.

"He is aware of this, however I think you should let him rest for today."

Jim fell silent and sat clutching Spock's hand, amazed at how quickly his mood had changed.

* * *

"Well don't stand out there like a stray, come on in," David urged as Chris looked at him from the doorstep.

Chris had taken all day to work up the nerve to go over and talk to him, and it was dark and raining ouside.

Jim and Spock had gone out, and had been vague about just where they were going. Chris had a feeling it had to do with whatever strange situation he'd been witness to earlier that day in their living room, but had no real desire to know what they were doing.

"Are you… the only one here?" Christopher asked as he slipped off his shoes just inside the door.

"No. Emily is here too, up in her room, but my Mom and Dad are out somewhere with Jo… I don't remember, something to do with Starfleet, I always forget," he shrugged and Chris nodded slightly.

"You want to uh… do this in the living room? Or the kitchen? Or we could even go up to my room if you want?" David offered. His body language was tense, stiff, awkward, but his face was showing a softer set of emotions. Remorse, care, and something that looked a little like sadness and maybe a hint of pity.

Chris moved automatically towards the kitchen. That was where they'd usually hangout, sitting at the table, that was where he was most comfortable.

David followed and waited for Chris to sit down before selecting his own seat. Chris had sat on the end of one of the long sides of the table, and David sat on his right, on the corner of the table next to him, but not too close.

Chris looked at him expectantly and David glanced down at the table before opening his mouth to speak.

"I… I… don't really know what to say. Sorry my dad flipped out at you," he said quietly.

Chris nodded once.

"Sorry for breaking your rib, I didn't mean to hurt you," Chris said quickly and it was David's turn to nod.

"Uh huh, I know. I didn't really notice it until I sobered up, was kinda… numb."

They stared at each other in awkward silence for a few moments until Chris suddenly broke the eye-contact and looked away.

By being in close proximity a whole new flood of David's thoughts had become available to him at once, and the new information contained something about his twin that he really didn't want to know.

"Chris? Are you alright?" David asked tentatively.

"You need to learn to shield your mind, to keep your own thoughts to yourself," he said in a low voice, head down and looking away from him.

David heard the faint sound of two teardrops hitting the kitchen floor and realisation struck him.

_Leo._

"So that's what's wrong with him, huh? I figured it was something bad, didn't quite realise it would be…" he stopped talking abruptly and turned to face David, brown eyes spilling over with tears piercing right through him.

"How long have you known? I mean, I can see Jo telling you, but was that the first you knew?" he demanded and David nodded. A feeling of sick dread was rising as Chris began to react to the information, his hands shaking.

"I… oh my god. I've been so… self-absorbed… I mean I knew something was up, but _this?_ How could he not tell me? I… we're… twins… we're supposed to share everything," he whimpered, bottom lip beginning to tremble pathetically as he lost control of his emotions entirely.

David faltered. He didn't know if he should try and reach Jim or Spock for help or do his best to comfort Chris himself.

"Hey man, he's gonna be alright, Seren said he's doing really good, responding to treatment… he'll be ok, Chris," David said, tentatively placing his hand on the other's forearm. Chris looked down at the hand on his arm before looking back up at David's face and losing control of his emotions completely.

As racking sobs shook his body, David leant across and awkwardly pulled him into what he hoped was a comforting hug, trying to focus on sending positive thoughts towards the part of his mind where he could feel Chris's connection.

_It's ok, I got you. _

Christopher clung to David's shirt as though his life depended on it and bawled his eyes out into his shoulder.

_That's ok, let it all out, I'll listen when you're ready to talk about it._

Over Chris' shoulder David noticed Emily peering into the room around the door-frame, obviously having heard Chris's loud crying and come to investigate. She gave her brother a puzzled look and he shook his head, rubbing his hand on Chris's back in soothing, slow circles.

Chris tried to move closer, but the way they were sitting at right angles around the table made it impossible and he mis-judged how far he could move, tipping off his chair and onto the floor, David powerless to catch him as he was far heavier.

Emily's eyes widened.

She didn't understand what was wrong and rushed to help David haul Chris up off the floor.

His eyes locked onto her.

_Chris, don't tell her, please. We need to tell her gently._

"You… Leo is sick," Chris spluttered out.

"What?" she asked quietly and Chris grabbed at her shoulder to try and support himself. David did his best to hold him up, but it seemed his shaking legs were unable to support him.

"Leo. Has cancer."

Emily's face paled and she looked at David who looked away quickly.

"Is that true?"

David kept his eyes away from her face, unable to watch her heart break as he watched Chris fall to pieces.

"_Is it true?"_

David looked at her but said nothing, tears in his own eyes threatening to spill over.

Emily turned and ran from the room and Chris finally lost all traces of control, being reduced to a weeping ball on the kitchen floor as David tried his best to comfort him.

David heard the front door open and then slam, and he knew Emily had gone to confront Leo.

He just sat beside Christopher, stroked his hair, held his hand, and told him that everything would be alright, hoping against hope that it was the truth.

* * *

Leo groaned as he woke up, the obnoxious sound of the door buzzer repeatedly ringing through the house. He stayed still for a few minutes, hoping whoever it was would just leave him alone, would go away and give up.

He'd spent the whole day feeling the worst he had felt through all of it. The party had been one step too far, and there was no way he'd be able to keep up his act any longer. He'd been up throwing up what little he had managed to eat, and had then spent all day in bed. The small area of vision he had been experiencing had also once again faded into blackness as if it was punishing him for not being honest to the people around him about his illness.

When after five minutes the person at the door sounded as though they were trying to break it down by hammering on it with their hands he forced himself out of bed, legs shaking with the effort of supporting his weight.

He made his way cautiously towards the door. He wasn't too keen on the idea of falling over, and he'd been getting so very disorientated that there was a distinct possibility of it happening.

"Leo I know you're in there so open the damn door!"

_Emily._

He fumbled for the button to open the door, finally locating it and pressing it to allow the door to open.

She raised her hand and slapped him the second the door was open, full force right in the face. The sound resonated through the room and he stood stock still, stunned. He barely registered the sharp stinging in his cheek; the amount of painkillers flooding his system had him completely numb.

"How _could_ you?!" she demanded and his shoulders slumped.

"You… know?" he asked and she shoved him roughly, sending him stumbling backwards.

"Yes. I know that you could be _dying?!_ Jesus Leo, do you have any idea how selfish that is? To not tell people? Your friends? People who care about you?!" _People who love you_.

"I didn't mean to-"

"To what? To show some basic decency and tell your own fucking _twin_ that you have cancer?! You didn't think that he might be a little upset when he found out?!"

He visibly flinched, a feeling of sick, sudden guilt hitting him. Immediately he reached for his twin's mind through their link, but found it firmly blocked off.

"Is he alright?" he asked quietly and Emily sighed, pushing her wet hair back off her face. It was raining hard outside and she'd walked over, or rather mostly ran over as anger and shock and fuck, _fear_ and _love_ and _care_ had coursed through her veins.

_Chris, please, talk to me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,_ Leo sent, but deep down he knew it would go ignored.

"Last I saw he was crying, bawling his eyes out on the kitchen floor in my house while David tried to talk sense into him. He's a real big mess."

"Fuck it all," Leo muttered under his breath. "I didn't mean for anyone to find out this way. I was going to tell people, to tell all of you. Most of all I knew I had to tell Chris and you… I… I just… please don't hate me?" he pleaded.

She stared at him for a long few seconds, the hurt on his face, the remorse so clear in his brown eyes that were begging her to at least hear him out. Sighing, she jabbed the button to close the door and stepped into the house.

"You've got ten seconds, so start talking," she said roughly.

"I couldn't tell you, but I _knew_ I had to. I… Emily… I'm in love with you," he said, eyes fixed perfectly on hers. She felt her throat tighten, her heart skip a beat and her stomach do a funny sort of turn. Holding her breath she stared at him long and hard.

"I'm sorry that you had to find out this way. Please don't hate me, or leave, or-"

She took a step forward and cupped his face in both of her hands, pressing her lips to his to stop him from talking. Leo's heart was pounding, guilt and fear and regret mingling with love and tenderness and care. He'd upset her, but he knew it was the right time to tell her, to explain everything not only about his illness but about the way he felt for her.

The kiss was short and sweet, feeling like she could explode from the sheer maelstrom of emotions flooding through her, some of which she wasn't even sure were her own, Emily broke the contact.

"You're a complete asshole and I hate you," she hissed as she pulled away. His hands found the back of her head and pulled her forward, their lips meeting again, more firmly this time.

"I deserve that," he nodded slightly as they broke apart again.

His heart was pounding as he trailed one hand down to link with hers, the other gently stroking her hair back off her face.

"Why are you wet?" he asked and she sighed.

"Raining," she said shortly.

"Your clothes are wet too," he pointed out. He hoped it didn't come across as too obvious that he was hoping she'd take them off.

"Don't care," she shrugged.

He took a deep breath.

"I uh… have some dry clothes, if you want to borrow something? Then we can talk about… y'know, everything," he offered and she looked at him carefully, annoyed at herself for not questioning the more obvious signs of his illness.

The dullness in his usually bright eyes, the dark circles beneath them, the weight loss, the lack of appetite, the constant sleeping.

"Guess I better had change," she agreed, her hands moving down to play with the bottom hem of his tee-shirt. She found it odd, normally he'd wear long sleeves.

"I want this shirt," she said and he chuckled nervously.

"But I'm already wearing this one."

"I want it."

"That'd mean I'd have to… take… it off… Emily do you…" he began, cut off once again by her lips. This time she was more insistent, her tongue taking the lead and teasing at his bottom lip.

"Do you mean like…"

She cut him off again, this time biting lightly at his lip and causing him to tense and wrap his arms around her, pulling their bodies close.

"You want me to take off my clothes?" he finished.

There were no more words as she led him by the hand up to his bedroom and to the edge of his bed. She took the lead, pushing him down so he was sitting before settling on his lap.

He was gaining confidence in their kisses, his tongue beginning to taste her as he's longed to for so long. Emily ran her hands through his soft hair, messing it up fully as they moved to a horizontal position, both laying on their sides.

She wondered if he knew the lights were on in his room. Probably not.

His hand found her waist and began to run up and down the curve between her ribcage and hip, slowly and thoroughly.

"What are you doing?" she whispered as they broke apart again.

"Looking," he mumbled, pressing a kiss to the corner of her lips.

"God, I wish you could see right now," she sighed as she tugged at the bottom of his shirt again.

"When you can't see you have to just… feel," he said softly and she felt herself tear up. She sniffled before she could help it and his hand was immediately on her face, caressing softly, wiping away the tears with his thumb.

She buried her face in his shoulder and cried. He just held her, stroking her hair, trying to calm her down as she began to sob, clinging to his shirt like her life depended on it.

"It's so –hic- unfair."

"I know. I know, I hate it. I get the worst luck, huh?" he said gently and she looked up at him to see him smiling slightly.

"You do have pretty bad luck."

"I feel pretty lucky right now though, you know, beautiful woman in my bed and all that," he smiled and she huffed, shoving him in the chest and making him chuckle.

"Cheeseball," she muttered as she wiped away the last of her tears and her lips found his once again.

He was more cautious now, kisses soft and gentle, hands still roaming a little but not too much until he slipped one hand under the hem of her sweater and froze as it came into contact with soft warm skin.

"Most people wear shirts under their sweaters," he pointed out.

"I got dressed in a hurry," she mumbled as she took his wrist in her hand and moved his hand higher. His fingertips trailed over her skin in a way that caused her to shudder slightly. Letting go of his wrist she took the first step, and grabbed his shirt with full intention of throwing it on the floor.

He was hesitant for a moment but then moved, lifting his shoulders so she could remove the item of clothing and throw it aside. She did her best to ignore the marks on his arms that were obviously from IV lines and repeated use of hypo-sprays.

"Never thought you'd have chest hair," she smirked as her ran her hands over the small patch in the middle of his chest. She was expecting him to laugh and glanced up at his face when he didn't. He wasn't looking at her, and his face was set to a serious expression, a determined expression. He didn't want to joke around anymore. His heart was telling him this could be his last chance, and he had to take it.

She didn't have to ask why he'd become serious all of a sudden. He pulled her lips back to his, more forcefully, kissing her hard.

Finding herself sitting up and straddling his waist, she ran her hands over his naked torso before removing her sweater and throwing it aside. At every possible opportunity she'd look at him. He was just as beautiful without his shirt as she'd always imagined, but definitely a little underweight. His ribs were showing as he lay on his back, but his toned stomach more than made up for it in a visual sense. With another ten or twenty pounds of muscle, he'd look so perfect she might never leave his bed again.

His hands rushed up to explore the newly exposed skin, always stopping short of her bra. She chuckled and lowered her lips to his again.

"You're allowed to touch me you know," she whispered, her lips brushing lightly against hers as she spoke.

"I am," he pointed out, stealing another quick kiss.

Grabbing his wrists she brought his hands up so they were over her breasts and his breath hitched in his throat slightly.

She fought the urge to giggle at the lost expression on his face and the way his hands stayed completely still, just cupping her through her bra. It wasn't until then that she really noticed just how big his hands were, fitting her ample chest perfectly.

"You're such an awkward turtle," she smirked and he frowned.

"Not a turtle. Just a little awkward," he smiled nervously.

Tentatively, his hands squeezed slightly, then snaked around her back to unclip her bra. He fumbled for a minute.

"What is this… like some kind of super-advanced unbreakable lock?" he muttered into her shoulder as he struggled with it.

"Man versus bra, the ultimate battle!" she taunted and he laughed as he finally managed to unclasp it, pulling it from her body and throwing it aside.

Before she knew what was happening, she found herself on her back on the bed, Leo's mouth trailing down her neck, tiny kisses being placed on the sensitive skin. He kissed over her collarbone as his hands tentatively explored her naked torso, making her shiver slightly as his fingertips brushed over her nipples, lingering there for longer than elsewhere as he savoured her reaction.

She watched him closely, the way he was thoroughly learning every inch of her exposed skin, hands no longer afraid to touch or even squeeze slightly. His mouth lowered and he kissed down to right over her heart, pausing there before returning to kiss her lips again.

No longer able to ignore the hard bulge pressing against her hip she lowered one hand and groped him through his clothing, raising an eyebrow at what she found there and taking a moment to try and establish if she'd possibly grabbed something in his pocket by mistake.

His heart was racing as she slipped a hand into his pyjama pants, gripping his erection through only the thin fabric of his boxers.

"That alright?" she asked and he nodded quickly, moving to lay beside her on the bed again.

Their remaining clothing was lost slowly, time being taken to explore newly exposed skin, to kiss and touch and feel. Leo hesitated at her underwear and she kissed his ear before whispering into it.

"It's okay."

He felt a spark of confidence and ran his fingertips over the soft fabric of her underwear once more, before gripping and beginning to drag them down her legs to be carelessly flung aside.

Emily shivered as Leo ran his hands all the way up from her feet to her hips, trailing over her legs in a way that made her whole body tingle. He could barely contain himself at the feeling of the velvet-soft skin, wrapping toned, slender legs that tensed under his touch.

Emily looked at his body, over and over, memorising it, every freckle, every tiny scar, some of which she knew the story of, others she didn't.

"You're so perfect," she mumbled against his lips.

"No, I'm not," he objected quietly.

Her hands began to wander over his body, one settling on his hipbone and causing him to squirm.

"I uh… well… hmm," he stammered and she smiled.

"Nervous?" she asked and he nodded quickly.

"Me too. That's ok. We can stop, I mean we probably shouldn't really do this, I mean- but I do want to, really, I want to do this… with you," she faltered and he nodded again.

"Yeah well I mean… I want to, too, so… if you want to, and I want to, and I'm pretty sure we're both like… _really_ naked and in my bed… and home alone… I mean… should we? It's completely up to you… so, if you want to?" he asked and she smiled.

"I want to," she said simply and he kissed her again, deeply, his tongue trailing over hers in a way that made her feel if she was stood up her knees would have gone weak.

Her eyes trailed over his naked form once again and she felt a surge of nervousness. He certainly was above average in the one department that really counted at this point and she knew this was likely to be painful.

_That isn't going to fit. No way. No how._

"I won't hurt you, I promise, I'll be really careful," he mumbled, he was paying careful attention to her thoughts resonating into his own body through where their skin touched.

"You reading my mind?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted and she smirked.

"Read it again," she said and he took a deep breath.

_Touch me._

Obliging her instruction he lowered one hand between her legs, slowly caressing the inside of her thigh and getting higher and higher until finally reaching his target.

She bit back her whimper as he finally touched her, fingertips exploring the delicate skin, becoming slick and coated with her arousal. One finger began to very slowly ease into her and she tensed, holding her breath.

He kissed her jaw, down to behind her ear, nibbling at her ear lobe in a way that made her relax fully and release the breath she was holding.

"That ok?" he asked and she nodded quickly as his finger began to move, in and out at an agonisingly slow pace. She reached out and closed her hand around his cock and he froze, biting his lip and closing his eyes tightly.

She tightened her grip experimentally and he whimpered against her lips as they met in a messy kiss. His finger moved faster and her breathing quickened, her hand trailing down to the base of his cock before stroking firmly back up to the head. He exhaled heavily and she chuckled.

"Too much?"

"No," he said softly, his head falling back against the pillows. A gasp escaped her lips as he gently added his second finger. She found her hips rising off the bed, sounds she had never made before tumbling from her mouth before she could stop them. It wasn't long before she couldn't stop herself from moaning against his neck as the pleasure began to build. He paused and let out a shaky breath, tensing up and trying to keep himself under control, causing her to chuckle.

"Sorry," she whispered, kissing his lips lightly.

"I think that's the best thing I've ever heard in my life," he mumbled against her ear, moving his fingers more quickly, more insistently. She soon forgot all about what she had been doing with her own hand as she felt herself reaching a new height of pleasure, mouth hanging open as she gasped for each shallow breath.

"Emily… can I… I want to…" his cheeks were tinted green as he struggled to verbalise his request.

"What?" she gasped out as his fingers pressed harder. He removed his hand and tentatively put one finger into his own mouth, she felt her breath hitch in her throat.

"Leo… I… oh my god, stop it," she mumbled, pulling his hand away from his mouth.

"Why?" he asked innocently and she pushed his hair off his forehead.

"Because I… want to do more," she said and he took a deep breath.

"I've never done… uh… y'know, _that._ Or well… any of this stuff before,_"_ he admitted and she smiled.

"That makes both of us."

"I mean I know… _how_ to… I guess… like… I just never…" he trailed off and she brought her hand up to touch his face.

"We'll figure it out," she assured and he nodded.

Their heated kisses resumed as he gently rolled her onto her back, taking his place on top of her and careful to not let any of his body weight rest on her. She wrapped her legs around his, hooking her heels behind his thighs, pulling him closer and causing them both to gasp as he brushed against her.

Emily lost herself as he kissed her as if his life depended on it, hands roaming all over her body. She broke the kiss and bit her lip as she felt the blunt head of his erection press against her entrance, looking up at his face to see he was biting his own lip in the exact same way.

"Ready?" he asked softly and she made a small sound of agreement, making him frown.

"If you don't want to, I won't be offended or-"

"I'm ready, sorry. I'm nervous," she breathed and he kissed her again.

"Me too, feel," he said, taking her hand and placing it on his side so she could feel the rapid pounding of his heart low in his ribcage.

She held her breath as he pushed in slightly, her hands rushing to grip his thighs and closing her eyes tightly as she felt the beginnings of discomfort and then pain as he moved further.

"Stop," she whimpered as he got maybe halfway, he immediately froze.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, kissing her cheek.

Noticing the fact she was trembling all over, Emily took a few deep, steadying breaths before squeezing his arm in a hint to continue.

He pulled back a little before moving forwards again, this time kissing her at the same time. Leo brought one hand up to her face, his fingers lingering over her PSI points but not engaging a meld. He was getting enough of a telepathic connection with her to feel her pain and kissed his way down to her ear.

"I'm sorry," he repeated and she shook her head.

"Don't be," she said quietly, her hand covering his on her face.

"We can stop," he offered and she shook her head again.

"Don't stop."

He followed her orders and didn't stop, continuing to be as gentle and careful as he could. The pain she was experiencing subsided after a few minutes as he kept completely still, allowing her time to get used to the feeling and allowing his own body time to relax. The feeling of her around him, so incredibly warm and tight and gripping him in just the perfect way was slightly overwhelming.

She tilted her hips up and he took it as permission to move, setting a very slow and careful pace.

Tingling spread through her body, and she realised the pleasure she was feeling wasn't her own, Leo had opened his mind, let down all his shields that made his telepathy one-way, and allowed her in to share what he was feeling, helping her to relax.

The only sound in the room was the rain outside continuing to lash against the window and their heavier than usual breathing as they slowly moved with each other for what felt like a long time, light touches and small kisses adding to the overwhelming sensations flooding through them both.

Emily noticed she was gripping Leo's thighs so tightly she'd left tiny little semi-circular indents from her nails digging into his skin. She released the tension in her grip and ran her hands up to his lower back, caressing his overheated skin gently.

"I'm not still hurting you am I?" he whispered breathlessly and she shook her head, whimpering as he moved slightly and she felt a small jolt of pleasure which was most definitely her own.

Removing his hand from her face he experimentally changed angle, kneeling upright and lifting her hips easily as if she weighed nothing at all until he found the perfect angle, letting out a small moan that made her giggle.

"Oh my god, Emily," he mumbled as he gently lifted her right leg over his shoulder, kissing and biting gently at her calf as it was in range of his lips.

Emily gasped as he sped up slightly again, her toes curling involuntarily and causing him to smile.

He stopped suddenly and she looked up at him, concerned as to why.

"Just, need a second," he said quickly, forcing himself to back down from the edge that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. He hoped she wouldn't realise why he'd had to stop.

"Got a little excited huh?" she asked and he nodded, biting his bottom lip as he tried to calm his body down and suppress his embarrassment.

"Let me just- take a minute," he said as he lowered her leg for her and slowly pulled out, collapsing onto the bed beside her laying on his side with his arm draped around her waist, breathing hard, his whole body trembling slightly. She pushed his sweaty hair back off his forehead before placing a kiss there.

"I also definitely realised we forgot something," he pointed out their lack of discussion of contraception and she shrugged.

"So? I like babies," she smirked and he frowned. Knowing full well that her contraceptive shot had another three months before it needed renewing (her Dad had insisted once she turned eighteen that she had it, whether she was having sex or not) she decided to wind him up a little bit.

"Not at nineteen you don't, and besides, you'd be raising it alone after your Dad killed me with his bare hands for knocking you up!" he chuckled into her neck as he affectionately hugged her tightly.

"This is true. I can just imagine the conversation… 'Hey Daddy, me and Leo had sex and now I'm having a pointy-eared baby, that cool?'" she said and he chuckled again, kissing her rounded ear.

"You don't like pointy-ears huh?" he asked and she smirked.

"I love them actually, they're so cute," she said as she pushed him so he was laying on his back then straddled him, her knees supporting her weight on the bed.

"And I was only trying to scare you, I get a contraceptive shot and my current one is effective for months yet, so there wont be any babies and my Daddy wont be killing you, I mean unless he finds out about this," she said and he smiled.

"Well that's good, because right now I'm really enjoying being alive."

She shivered at his hands running up her thighs then skimmed over her hips and waist before settling on her hips as she carefully lowered herself onto him, taking him in slowly and relieved to find it much less painful.

Leo squeezed his eyes tightly closed, not that it made any difference, but he was trying so hard to concentrate, to keep control and not just explode out of sheer overwhelming excitement.

Knowing he really shouldn't, he sat up slightly and reached his hand up for her face again, fingertips once again settling on her meld points. The temptation to delve into her mind was too much, and he slipped into a light meld, causing her movements to slow to a stop, leaving her just sitting atop him, their bodies and minds connected. He sat up all the way and they both stayed very still, feeling each others rapid heart-beats in their pressed-together chests as they shared everything they were experiencing through the mental link.

_If you want me to stop I can-_

_"_Leo," she breathed, lowering her lips down to his, her arms thrown around his neck, pulling him closer still and wrapping her legs around his waist, causing another small moan to escape him before he could stop it.

_I love this, I love you._

The feeling of her words echoing inside his mind was too much and he bucked his hips as much as he could with her sitting on top of him. She moaned softly against his mouth and began to move, clumsily at first, but on finding what felt good she settled into a rhythm, her breathing very quickly becoming harsh and desperate as she clung to him, his own panting against her neck.

"I'm… oh Emily, shit," he gasped out, his hand dropping from her face and settling on her back, his other hand staying where it was on her upper thigh and his grip tightening. She could still feel his mind inside of hers, but at that moment she would have done nothing to ever change that, to ever lose that feeling of the ultimate connection and intimacy in sharing thoughts and feelings without words. He ran his hands all over her body, the overheated, soft skin making his palms tingle.

A rush of pleasure that wasn't her own washed over her, causing her to moan and throw her head back, movements now almost frantic as she sensed him reaching the end.

_Ladies first…_

She gasped his name as he funnelled so much raw lust and passion and ecstasy into her mind that she couldn't cope, completely coming undone as her orgasm hit her at a speed even the_ Enterprise_ probably couldn't achieve, her eyes closing tightly and then nothing but pure, immeasurable bliss. She was vaguely aware of feeling him hit his release, heat spreading as he spilled inside of her, her name escaping his lips alongside a stream of quiet, barely controlled moans and incoherent gasps of pleasure.

Losing herself completely in the feeling, she slumped against him, throat sore from sounds she couldn't remember making, breathing in desperate gasps against his shoulder as he stroked her hair back off her face.

"Are… did you…"

"Oh yeah. I just thought I'd make sure you got there first," he said shakily and she chuckled weakly, breathlessly.

Emily made no attempt to move, and Leo wasn't about to complain as he savoured the feeling of her heart beating fast against his chest, gradually beginning to slow down to a more normal rate. He pressed his lips to her temple, fingers brushing through her now tangled hair as he racked his brain for something to say.

"I uh… wow," he mumbled and she giggled, squeezing him tightly and kissing his shoulder where her face was still resting against it.

"Wow," she agreed, very carefully lifting herself off him and laying down beside him, wincing a little bit as she moved.

Instantly he was behind her, one arm underneath her neck and wrapped around her upper chest, the other wrapped around her waist, bodies as close as they could be. Leo nuzzled his face into her neck, kissing up to her ear and back down to where her neck started to become her shoulder.

"I don't really know what to say… thank you? Maybe, I don't know," he mumbled awkwardly and she smiled, shifting a little in his arms so she could turn to kiss the corner of his mouth.

"Now you just say goodnight, and we'll talk about everything when we wake up," she said and he nodded slightly.

"Alright then. Goodnight Emily," he said softly and she exhaled contentedly, snuggling closer to him and soaking up the feeling of his strong arms around her body, protectively holding her close.

"Do you need anything? Like… before you go to sleep?" she asked, all of a sudden remembering that yes, it was real, Leo was still very ill, still taking any number of medications.

"No, don't need anything," he mumbled sleepily.

_Just you._

"I heard that," she smiled and he mumbled an incoherent response as his eyes slipped closed.

"Night darlin'," she whispered as she pressed one last tender kiss to his lips as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Well. I have NEVER written straight sex before. Sorry if that was awful! It was really tough because they're both so innocent and nice and I wanted it to be all... y'know... loving and tender but still passionate. I'll just be quiet now... "**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

David yawned as he awoke from a restless night. The first thing he did was check on the person sharing his bed, a stubbornly fully-clothed Christopher, sleeping uncomfortably on his side in his jeans and shirt from the previous day.

He had finally fallen asleep around four in the morning having been part coaxed and part dragged up to the bed by David who refused to let him go home.

Chris had barely said a word, he'd spent hours staring into space, sometimes with silent tears rolling down his cheeks, but other times nothing, just blankness.

David shifted closer, wrapping an arm around him.

He needed the comfort right now, his raw emotional turmoil was leaking through their bond and David could feel just how badly the support was required.

He knew he wanted to be there for Chris, even if only as a friend, to help him make sense of it all, to help him come to terms with the news of his twin's illness and the fact it had been kept from him.

Chris tensed slightly in his arms and David gave him a small, comforting squeeze, letting him know that he was awake and ready to listen.

The first words out of his mouth were not the ones he had expected.

"Thank you," Chris whispered and David hesitated for a moment.

"No… don't thank me. It's what I'm here for," he said, giving him another squeeze. Chris exhaled slowly.

"Are we… spooning, right now?" he asked and David chuckled quietly.

"I guess so, sorry, that's my bad, my bed isn't really big enough for both of us to-"

"No. I… I like it. It's warm and kind of… nice. Never really done this," Chris trailed off and David didn't press for him to explain.

"I don't know what to do," Chris said blankly and David nodded to show he was listening.

"I feel like I want to talk to him, but the last thing I want to do is stress him out… I mean… he's a dick for keeping it a secret, but I'm more of a dick for not noticing something so obvious right in front of my face. I should have known it was something serious when he took a semester off school… I mean… there's no way he'd have done that for no real reason. I just… I'm worried," he finished and turned a little so he could look at David whilst he spoke to him.

"It's only natural to be worried, but from what I know he's got the situation under control and they're going to get him fixed right up. Did you hear he could see a light the other day at Scotty's party?" David tried to twist the conversation to a more positive angle.

"Yeah, Jim told me. It's exciting. Can't wait to show him stuff, if I… y'know, get the chance," Chris said sadly and David frowned.

"Nuh-uh, no negativity in here. You _will_ get to show him stuff, ok? He's going to be alright. I mean, you look at him, he's _finished_ his chemo and he didn't even lose his damn hair! He's lost what, like ten pounds? He can put that back on in a week or two with our help; he eats meat right, or is that you?"

Chris sighed.

"Seren is vegan, Leo is vegetarian, and I'll eat anything," he explained for what felt like the millionth time in his twenty years of life.

"Damn I'd hate to be your parent, cooking three different meals all the time? Surprised Jim didn't just give you all the same and tell you to eat it or starve," David chuckled and Chris gave a very small smile.

"Jim's a pushover; you just have to know how to play him."

They both stayed very still, David very aware of he fact he had his arm around Chris, and Chris very aware of what that was doing to his heart rate.

"Are you… are we… what is this?" Chris asked quietly and David took a moment to think.

"I'm… helping you, with this whole Leo situation. I'll be here for you… y'know… whatever you need. If that's a hug, I can do that, or if it's a late night drive, fast food and a conversation to take your mind off it, I can do that too."

Chris nodded.

David answered his next question without it needing to be asked.

"My feelings haven't changed, but I know I was being an ass. I'll be more sensitive, I'm really sorry," he mumbled and Chris nodded again.

"Sure. Don't uh… don't mention it. Just so long as we both know where we are with everything," he said and David held back his sigh at the heartbreak seeping into Chris's voice.

He felt strange around him. His palms were sweaty, and his mouth was dry, and sometimes he forgot what he wanted to say. He had a vague idea what that meant, but didn't plan on acting on it whilst Chris was already dealing with so much, and needed time himself to process the shift in his feelings. Never did he think he'd be attracted to Christopher in this way, but it felt as though that was what was beginning to happen.

Chris sniffled and David quickly looked at him to make sure he was alright.

"I'm fine. I just have a cold," he said quickly and David rolled his eyes at the feeble lie as he saw Chris wipe away a stray tear with the back of his hand and did his best to provide a distraction.

"Come on lazy-ass, get up, let's go get pancakes or something, I'm starved!"

* * *

Jim stretched as he woke up and grimaced. His back hurt. A _lot._

"Spock you broke me," he mumbled as he buried his face into the Vulcan's neck.

"I believe you were extremely keen on your body being contorted in such a way Jim."

"Yeah but… now it hurts," he whined.

"I did warn you at the time that-"

"I know, I know, but at the time I didn't have any blood in my brain to make an informed decision," Jim chuckled.

They'd gone out for dinner the previous evening, and dinner had led to a long drive to a place they both knew would be deserted and a lengthy conversation, mostly about how sorry Spock was for being away for so long. Jim always liked it when Spock brought it up first, showing that he was still thinking about it and knew he wasn't entirely forgiven.

Jim also liked it when Spock _showed_ him how sorry he was for all the night's he'd missed, and Jim had found himself incredibly grateful for how roomy the inside of their car really was.

They'd snuck in like a pair of naughty teenager's sometime around three in the morning and had crawled into bed.

Jim closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into the warm skin, breathing in Spock's comforting smell but also picking up on something else.

"Hey… do you smell… waffles?" he asked, moving away from Spock and sniffing at the air.

"I am indeed able to detect the smell of waffles."

Jim rolled his eyes at Spock's over-wording of his affirmative response and slipped out of bed, padding downstairs in just his boxers.

"Hey Seren, you want to make a few extra and oh-"Jim stopped abruptly as he realised the person in the kitchen was _definitely_ not his daughter.

Emily blushed bright, vivid pink and did her best to hide behind the kitchen counter. She was wearing a damp-looking sweater and boxers that Jim recognised as belonging to his youngest son.

"Good morning," he smirked, covering his crotch with both hands seeing as he didn't want to be enormously inappropriate and wander around in his underwear in front of her.

She squeaked and nodded a hello in return.

"Those aren't your boxers," he pointed out and she shook her head.

The look of terror and embarrassment on her face made Jim want to either laugh or hug her. Maybe both.

"Leo still sleeping?"

She nodded silently.

"So… you uh… you're wearing his boxers? Kind of a giveaway as to… uh… you guys were… _careful_ right?" he asked, amazed at how awkward he felt asking the question. The twins were twenty years old, and it was totally normal for them to be having sex. He knew plenty about Christopher's sex life, more than he wanted or needed to know, but the thought of _Leo_ actually doing that, and with Emily McCoy no less, was almost too much information for his brain to process at once.

She nodded again.

"I mean I knew you would have been, just, figured I'd check. He's had y'know, _the talk_, I just-"

"I'm gonna go… back upstairs… now," Emily mumbled, interrupting him.

Her face was so red that it was nearing the shade of Uhura's uniform dress.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you." Jim looked around and snatched up a pair of pants that were sticking half out of the dryer. They were Spock's and a little too long, but he pulled them on anyway, grabbing a shirt to go along with them, hoping that by getting dressed she's feel a little less awkward with him being in the kitchen.

Emily was staring at the floor intently and Jim sniffed the air again.

"Your waffles are gonna burn, and Leo likes them like… almost raw," he pointed out and Emily quickly switched off the waffle-maker and opened it to retrieve them.

She said nothing and avoided Jim's eye, scurrying from the room and not even taking the food with her.

"Emily?" he asked after her and she paused, glancing back at him, pushing her messy hair back off her face.

"I didn't see anything, I didn't know you were here, alright?" he said and she hesitated for a moment before nodding, a small grateful smile on her face as she started to rush towards the stairs.

Jim exhaled slowly and snatched up the forgotten waffles, putting them on a plate and smothering them in syrup before eating them himself, unsure if he wanted to laugh at what had just happened or not.

* * *

"Oh my _god!_ Jim is here and I just saw him in the kitchen, and he totally _knows!"_ Emily hissed as she climbed back into Leo's bed, ditching her sweatshirt again and leaving her in only his boxers.

She gave him a few seconds and realised he was still fast asleep.

She leant over to get a look at his face, and wasn't able to resist placing a small kiss on his forehead as she saw his peaceful expression.

His skin felt strange against her lips. Cold. Clammy. Instinctively she placed her hand flat on his forehead.

He was certainly too cold.

"Hey Leo, are you alright?" she asked quietly and he didn't stir.

A sick feeling of dread overcoming her, she pressed her ear to his mouth to check for certain he was actually _breathing._

He was. Slowly. And very deeply, as if he was lost in the furthest realms of sleep.

Gently at first she shook his shoulder, trying to wake him.

"Hey, wake up," she tried.

He didn't respond at all.

"Wake up, I made waffles and I think Jim stole them so we need to make more," she whined, prodding him gently but firmly in the ribs.

Emily knew Leo was a heavy sleeper but this was taking it to extremes.

Sighing with frustration she lay back down beside him, letting her mind wander to the previous night.

They had so much to talk about.

_He_ had so much to talk about. A hell of a lot of explaining needed to be done.

Emily tried to wake him again by shaking his shoulder, a feeling of unease starting to blossom as she realised nothing she was trying was working.

"You're not in there are you," she said slowly, realising the part of her mind Leo had touched last night was feeling very cold and empty again.

After ten more minutes Emily felt tears pricking at her eyes.

Leo wouldn't wake up no matter what she tried. As a last resort she peeled open one of his eyelids. His pupils were fully dilated and didn't seem to react to the change of light.

She scrambled for her clothes, knowing she needed help and once quickly dressed rushed to find Jim. He was sitting at the table in the dining area, still looking a little bit bemused by what he'd witnessed earlier.

He took one look at her tearstained face and sprang up from his seat.

"Emily, are you-"

"I can't wake him up. I've tried everything, and I don't know w-what to do," she spluttered as she began to cry.

"Hey, shh, I'm sure he's fine, let's go take a look," Jim said calmly, but she couldn't ignore the worry that flashed across his face.

* * *

Leonard McCoy was silent as he stood beside Jim.

They both watched the situation unfolding before them, both wishing it was untrue, both willing it to change.

Emily clutched at Leo's hand determinedly, but they could both see she was wearing thin already, tears threatening to spill over.

Jim didn't know what to do, and even the calming waves being passed directly into his mind from Spock did nothing to ease his discomfort.

Leo had slipped into a healing trance.

Spock had explained thoroughly what it meant, and that he wouldn't come out of it until his body was ready to.

He'd been moved to the hospital so a close watch could be kept on him, and Jim and Bones were in the room adjoining his, watching their two children through the one-way viewing glass.

Jim let his forehead rest against the cool glass before him and slowly exhaled.

"I'm sorry Jim. If there was a way I could get him out of-"

"No. Don't worry. It's what he needs, so we just need to try our best not to worry," Jim dismissed him quickly.

He was angry at his friend. The way he'd acted towards Chris was completely unacceptable and not just unacceptable, but entirely out of character, so much so that Jim now felt Bones was unpredictable and was being very cautious around him.

The doctor was silent beside him and Jim glanced at him, surprised to find him looking clearly upset, something he rarely saw.

"Jim… I'm sorry about yesterday with Chris. I shouldn't have spoken to him that way, and I damn sure shouldn't have put my hands on him like that… I… it's no excuse but I just feel everythin' boiled over, y'know?"

Jim sighed and turned to face the older man.

"I do know, but I also know that no matter how angry any of your kids made me, I would never-"

"I feel awful. Think he'd accept it if I apologised?"

Jim glanced at the unconscious young man in the bed, face sickly pale against the white sheets.

"I don't know. Probably. He knows about Leo now, and he knows that Spock I kept it from him, so he's probably more concerned about that, and whatever amount of shit he's still dealing with where David's concerned," Jim sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"He was in David's room this morning. I heard 'em mumblin' to each other. Makin' progress if they're having sleepovers," Bones shrugged and Jim cocked his brow.

"Whatever happened to 'damn it Jim, none of your kids better get with any of my kids'… finally decided they're allowed to now? Come on Bones, it was always gonna happen… they're all so close in age and everything. I feel like between those four it was almost inevitable," Jim said and the doctor nodded, defeated.

"Carol gave me one hell of a talkin' to about it. I just… could never picture Chris and David. I always… I don't know, I figured sure one twin and Emily, and pretty early on I knew I wanted it to be Leo because he's always been so sweet on her. But David is such a… well I don't know. He puts it about a bit," he said and Jim smirked slightly.

"Him and Chris are like two peas in a pod in that respect."

"Well I know that. And I damn well remember what _I_ was gettin' up to back at the Academy, but I just… this bonding? I can't see either of them staying faithful. They both got a lot of growin' up to do before either of them'll be ready for it," he said and Jim nodded, having also reached a similar conclusion himself.

"That's for them to figure out. From what I understand at this point David has told Chris he doesn't want anything to do with him," Jim said in a low voice as the door behind them opened. He turned to glance at Joanna, standing in her new cadet reds and having come straight from class.

"That's typical David though. Knee-jerk reaction to everything, and he normally goes back on himself eventually once he pulls his head out of his ass. How was class Jo?" he asked, turning to his eldest daughter.

Jim looked back to Emily and Leo. He just wanted to wrap her in a hug. She was sitting slumped in the chair beside his bed, lifeless hand clutched in hers, distraught expression on her face that summed up pretty much how he felt himself.

Spock had mentioned to him the possibility of this happening, if the stress on his body grew too great, if he could no longer cope. Jim guessed that whatever Leo and Emily had got up to the previous night had been far too much for him, not just physically but emotionally, and by weakening his mental shields he'd pushed himself one step too far.

"How is he?" Joanna asked and Jim closed his eyes and took a few seconds to regain control over his emotions.

The sickening feeling of concern, of pure _fear_ that Leo might never wake up again. That after all the progress he'd made, that he'd never look into his son's eyes and know that he was looking back into his.

"Spock can explain it better than me, but he's doing this because he needs it. It's a natural response for his mind to try and reflect his energy inwards to focus on… healing. I don't know, ask Spock," Jim finished weakly and she nodded.

"Red suits you," he said and she gave a small smile.

"I hate them, they're the ugliest colour and they clash with everything."

Bones chuckled.

"First test of Starfleet darlin', see if you can pass three years in those without losin' your mind."

The three were silent for a few moments before Bones mumbled something and bustled out, appearing in Leo's room moments later, tricoder in hand.

Jim could see his mouth moving as he tried to talk to Emily, and her giving short responses but not once looking up at him.

He sighed and looked at Joanna who was already looking at him carefully.

"How are you?" she asked and he let out a slow breath.

There was a long pause as Jim considered his answer from the many words rushing through his mind that could have described the way he was currently feeling.

_Worried sick, anxious, uneasy, distressed, fearful, desperate for him to be okay… just… wake up, Leo. Please._

"So scared," he admitted and she nodded.

"Perfectly natural, but you just said it yourself; he's doing this because he needs it."

"I know. I just… I need him," he said quietly.

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he willed them back.

"I know you do. And I know parents don't have favourites, but I've always noticed the way you look at him. He's really special to you, of course you need him to be okay," she said and he nodded stiffly.

"You ever thought about being a therapist? You've got that calming tone of voice," he said and she smiled sadly.

"I don't know if I have the patience for something like that, we both know I get just like dad when I'm angry," she said and he nodded with a small smile.

"You McCoy's are a fiery bunch," he said and Joanna nodded.

"So… Carol told me dad came over and yelled at Chris, hit him too. You guys cleared that up?" she asked and Jim shrugged.

"I guess. It's Chris he needs to apologise to, not me. I guess I was just worried because the Bones I know would never, ever come to blows with someone. He's always been the kind of guy to think before he acts, and he's acting weird."

Joanna was silent for a moment before offering her answer.

"Now, I didn't tell you this," she said quietly and Jim nodded "But he's the most stressed he's ever been in his life. If something happens to Leo, if… if the worst happens, he's told me that he will never, ever forgive himself for it. As the date for his surgery is getting closer and Leo still isn't following orders and taking it easy, he's getting really on-edge about it. And then everything with David and Chris too? Poor guy is a bit overwhelmed."

Jim nodded, realising all at once that yes, of course Bones was getting overwhelmed. He recalled a time when he had one of the doctor's children's lives in his hands and the immense feeling of responsibility.

_"Captain, life support has failed in all common areas of deck eleven Sir, only the crew quarters on that deck are still supplied. I cannae do anythin' until everythin' is under control sir," Scotty's urgent voice rang through the comm. system._

_"Understood Mr. Scott. Sulu, get us away from them right now!" Jim ordered, knuckles white as his hands clenched the arms of his Captain's chair._

_"Yes sir," Sulu responded quickly._

_They'd dropped out of warp and a hostile Klingon ship had lowered it's cloaking device, immediately opening fire._

_Jim inhaled sharply as the ship vibrated, the warp drive powering back up._

_"Jim! Jim I'm stuck in sickbay, Carol is in our room with Emily and Jo and… I… the baby, Jim, I need to get to her and I can't from here. Comms on that deck are fried. I _need_ to know that she's alright," Bones' voice came through. He sounded like he was in such a state of panic he could barely string a sentence together._

_Sickbay was cut off due to an atmosphere breach on deck six._

_"Status report! Where are we venting atmosphere and can we seal the bulkheads?" Jim demanded._

_"Decks six, seven, eleven and fourteen sir. No major hull damage but enough to cause a breach. We can keep the supply to the rooms on those decks but the hallways are already depressurised," reported an Ensign and Jim nodded._

_Carol was painfully close to her due date and had been ordered on maternity leave by Jim, despite her protests. She'd been spending most of her time in bed, thoroughly exhausted._

_"Bones, stay where you are, I'm going to try and get to her. Scotty, seal all bulkheads on deck eleven. Spock, she's all yours, keep us as far away from those Klingons as possible," Jim ordered as he sprang up from his chair._

_Spock nodded and took the chair from Jim. Jim glanced at Uhura's station, manned by a young Ensign. Uhura was off duty and had Jim and Spock's three children in her quarters with her._

_Jim bounded into the turbo-lift, eyes meeting Spock's as the doors closed._

_His pocket communicator started to sound and he pulled it out and flipped it open._

_"Jim, I can't reach Len… but… the baby. I… he's coming now," Carol sounded just as panicked as the doctor had._

_"I'll get a message across. Comms are down on your deck, and the hallways have vented atmosphere. I'm on my way to you now, just keep calm, I promise it'll be alright," he said as calmly as he could._

_"What are you-"_

_"Carol. Just relax, it's under control," he urged and she took a deep shaky breath._

_"I'm going to patch your signal through to sickbay, alright? So you can talk to Bones, just stay right there," he ordered as he stepped out of the turbo-lift into a strangely deserted corridor on deck ten._

_He ripped the panel off the wall above the video-comm panel there and opened the back of his communicator, working quickly to connect the two devices. _

_"Scotty when this is all over you make a way to patch our handhelds through to the ship automatically, understand?" Jim demanded as he burnt his fingertips on a frayed wire._

_"Aye sir, but you should already be able to do that?"_

_"Not if the… the receiver for the signal is dead. Sickbay's hasn't worked for a couple of days," Carol said. Jim could practically hear her gritting her teeth._

_"Scotty why wasn't this dealt with?" Jim barked as he worked to connect the wire trailing from his handheld device into the wall panel._

_"I… Jim with all due respect could you give me my tellin' off later? I'm a wee bit busy down here!"_

_Jim cut off his signal and jabbed the keys to reach sickbay, Bones' face appearing on the screen in front of him._

_"Bones, Carol, can you hear each other?" Jim asked and Bones breathed a heavy sigh of relief as Carol began to talk._

_"I'm going to get to you Carol, sit tight," he ordered as he took off sprinting down the corridor. He reached the room he needed and snatched a suit off the wall, quickly shoving it on over his uniform and pulling on the helmet and ensuring correct pressurisation before rushing back to the turo-lift and jabbing the button for deck eleven._

_The doors opened into a strange, zero-gravity feeling and Jim quickly pushed himself forwards with a powerful thrust from his legs._

_Nothing would be worse than getting stuck in the middle of the space with no way of propelling himself forwards._

_He flinched as his shoulder made hard contact with the ceiling and hit the button on the side of his helmet to open his comm. channel._

_"Kirk to bridge, Spock, are we clear?"_

_"Yes Captain it would appear the Klingon vessel did not pursue us. Dropping out of warp at your command sir," he said calmly._

_"Take us out of warp at your discretion. Scotty, seal with bulkhead nearest to the turbo-lift on deck eleven, and then seal the one nearest to the breach, and try to pressurise that stretch of hallway for me," he ordered and was met with grumbling from the Scotsman._

_"_Now_ Mr Scott!"_

_"Right y'are, hope you're clear of the doors or I'll be cuttin' ya' clean in half," he said as the door hissed closed behind Jim and again at the very end of the corridor._

_Jim used the wall to drag himself forwards until he reached the door to Bones and Carol's quarters._

_"Need that air on now Scotty!"_

_"Workin' on it, give me two bloody seconds!"_

_"You don't have two seconds, I need it done yesterday!" Jim yelled, his own worry getting the better of him._

_Carol needed to be in sickbay to deliver their baby safely. _Now.

_The gravity and air came back on and Jim grunted as he fell to the floor, landing flat on his stomach._

_"I sincerely hope you bashed yerself somewhere painful when you landed ya' wee prick!" _

_"Yes Scotty, bashed everything, now is the air back on before I take this helmet off?"_

_"Aye, all good to go Sir," he said and Jim quickly tore the helmet from his head, using his emergency override to gain access to the room in front of him. Joanna was sitting on the couch in the communal area, and Emily was on the floor in her play-pen._

_"Carol? Are you-"he froze at what he saw before him as he entered the bedroom. Carol clutching a tiny newborn to her chest, the baby wrapped in a towel._

_"I'm fine, and so is he," Carol said quickly and Jim breathed a sigh of relief._

_"Get them to me, Jim, please," Bones' voice rang out from Carol's communicator and he nodded._

_"Scotty, one more favour," he asked into the helmet's comm. _

_"Can't get sickbay accessible so fast Jim, you'll have to hang tight where you are for now," he said and Jim nodded._

_"How long?"_

_"I dunno. Hour or two, need to make some repairs down there, I'm on my way," he said and Jim cut off the comm. again._

_"How did you…?" he asked and Carol shook her head._

_"Adrenaline, I think."_

_"Jim, is she alright? Actually alright? And the baby too?" Bones demanded and Jim crossed the room to stand at Carol's side and to look at the baby wrapped in the towel._

_The child had a full head of dark hair and looked a healthy pink colour, he needed to be cleaned up, but his eyes were open and he seemed perfectly calm and content just staring up at his mother._

_"He… Bones he's great, he's beautiful. Carol too. Everything is good," Jim said slowly and the doctor breathed a sigh of relief._

_"Give her a hug for me Jim, and stay with her, I'll be there as fast as I can," he said and Carol smiled as Jim wrapped one arm around her, following his best friends orders and giving her a short, reassuring hug._

Joanna talked to Jim for a few minutes longer before slipping from the room and going into the neighbouring one to speak to her sister.

Jim was met by Spock and Seren, who's eyes were puffy as if she'd been crying.

_I'm so glad you're here. What took so long?_

Jim wrapped his daughter in a hug and held her tightly as he buried her face into his shoulder.

_Seren became very distressed. I thought it wise to help her regain control over her emotions before we arrived._

Seren began to tremble in Jim's arms and he stroked her hair gently, Spock taking a few steps towards them and wrapping his arms around them both.

* * *

"Hey," Joanna said quietly and Emily glanced up at her before looking back down at Leo.

"So they talked to you about what this is right?"

Emily nodded slowly.

"Coma."

"No. Not a coma. It's similar, but it isn't quite the same. He's meditating really hard to try and make himself better," Joanna said, dragging another chair over to sit beside her sister.

"Well nothing can wake him up, so it's as good as a coma," she said bluntly and Joanna took a few seconds to consider her next question.

"I know you must be really scared right now, but Spock said that he'll be able to sense that if you touch him, you need to just send him all good stuff, okay?" she said softly and Emily nodded, her eyes squeezing closed and a few tears escaping from them.

"Hey, don't cry," Joanna soothed, wrapping one arm around her half-sister.

"I… I'm so confused right now, I wish we could talk about it all," she whimpered.

"What are you confused about darlin'?"

"Last night," she mumbled and Joanna stayed silent, waiting to see if Emily would offer her any more information.

"We uh… well…"

Joanna looked at her sister carefully.

"You had sex with him?"

"Maybe a little bit," she confessed and Joana gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"Hey, that's okay, he's a nice boy and you're both old enough to be able to decide you want to do that."

"I just feel so… weird. I've never, y'know," Emily shifted uncomfortably and Joanna felt a rush of sympathy for her.

"Oh. I never realised that you hadn't. I'm so sorry. I guess you guys were going to have that awkward conversation this morning huh?" she said and Emily nodded and sniffled.

"That's okay, I'm sure you can still have it when he wakes up. How are you feeling?" Jo asked and Emily shrugged.

"I just want to go back and not do it," she whispered, a few tears escaping from her eyes and leaving two clear trails down her face.

"Oh no, why?" Joanna asked quietly and Emily shook her head, wiping her face with her hands.

"Because I caused this. If we hadn't have… he was in my head, and Spock said that he's in this state because of his mind being weak and I… it was my fault, he was trying to… to explain how he felt and I should have stopped him."

"He mind-melded with you?"

"Yeah. It was… nice," she said and Joanna nodded.

"It's definitely always an interesting experience."

They both fell silent until Joanna spoke again.

"But it was ok? Between you two? How'd it happen?" she asked and Emily smiled weakly.

"I found out about him being ill from David and Chris and ran over there. He opened the door and I slapped him right in the face for not telling me," Joanna smiled. Jim was right. The McCoy's _were_ certainly fiery when annoyed. "But then he was telling me he's in love with me and we were kissing and we went upstairs and… I don't know. It felt right. It felt natural. It just kind of… started _happening_," she trailed off and Joanna nodded.

"He didn't pressure you did he?" Joanna asked. She felt a duty of care to her younger sister, and as much as she knew Leo would be unlikely to do something like that, felt she wanted to check.

"No. Not at all, he kept saying we should stop, he was so sweet and gentle and nice and I just… god I wanted to talk to him about it all, so bad," Emily sighed and Joanna looked carefully at the young man before them. His chest slowly rising and falling, face entirely relaxed but a sickly green pallor to his skin.

"He'll come out of it when he's ready, and I'm sure he'll be waiting to have the same talk," Joanna said in what she hoped was an encouraging tone of voice. Emily whimpered and started to cry again, burying her face in her sister's shoulder.

"Honey, don't cry, he wouldn't want you to be crying because of him. I can just imagine his stupid little goofy grin telling you not to cry," she said and Emily chuckled sadly.

"I love that stupid smile."

"Yeah? We all do. Now come on, we're gonna go and get some crappy fast food and talk about all of it, okay?"

Emily nodded and allowed Joanna to pry her away from the bedside. Jim watched through the glass, relieved Emily had finally left. Looking at her watching Leo was breaking his heart.

"Jim?"

Spock's voice brought him back to his senses.

"Oh. Yeah, sorry, huh?" he asked dumbly and Spock took a patient deep breath.

"Seren and I believe it would be wise to try and locate Christopher as he has not been answering his communicator and-"

The door opened abruptly and Christopher sauntered into the room, David close behind him. Saying that Chris looked awful would have been an understatement. He had dark circles under his eyes that made him look much older than his years, and his expression was strained.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" Jim asked and Christopher gave him a filthy look.

"Yeah. I'm pretty fucking great, I'm just fine and dandy! Just know that I can't trust _any_ of you ever again," he said in a low voice.

"Chris, come on," David warned and Chris tensed.

"No. You know what? Fuck you all. I don't even want to _be_ here, I don't want to see… _him_, or any of you. How could you not tell me?!" he exploded and Jim closed his eyes for a moment and opened his mouth to answer. Before he could begin he was interrupted.

"Christopher, we agreed that we would withhold this information from you as it was in accordance with Leo's wishes. We also agreed that we felt it was not the correct thing for him to do, but we would wait for him to determine the point at which he wanted to tell you for himself. There was concern about how you would react to the information and I believe your brother only withheld it as he believed it was in your best interests," Spock explained calmly.

Jim nodded.

"Everything he said. We're sorry, and we love you, but right now we need to stick together for him, we can't fight each other when he needs us all to be there for him."

David gave Chris a stern look and he relented, nodding obediently.

"I'm gonna go sit with him for a bit," Chris said quietly, leaving the room and appearing moment's later at Leo's bedside, sitting in Emily's recently vacated chair.

Jim had watched the exchange between David and Christopher with interest. The youngest McCoy seemed to have a control over Christopher that he had never before seen. Chris seemed to follow every order, listen to every word.

"I better uh… I need to find my dad, talk to him about something," David said, excusing himself from the room and heading down the corridor with a final glance back at Jim, Spock and Seren all standing together.

He walked quickly down the corridor, sneakers squeaking on the shiny floor until he reached the door of his father's office and knocked.

"Come in!"

"Oh hi, how's it-"

"Fine, it's going fine," David cut him off abruptly, beginning to pace the room aggressively. Bones watched him for several lengths of the room before speaking up.

"Wanna wear a hole in my floor or tell me what the matter is?"

David stopped pacing and ran both hands through his hair.

"How did you know you were in love with Mom?" he asked and Bones quirked an eyebrow.

"Hmm. Tough question. I don't know, it's a difficult thing to describe. Why'dyou ask? You changing your tune on Kirk?"

David blushed a little bit before he could stop himself, his stomach .

"Maybe. I feel weird."

"I heard you guys talking in your room earlier, he stayed over last night?"

David blushed brighter pink.

"He did, but nothing happened."

"Uh huh. So you guys shared your tiny little bed, and you didn't touch eachother once?"

"Well, we… cuddled… a bit, but only because he was upset," David said awkwardly and Bones snorted with laughter.

"_Cuddling_? Oh jeez kid, why are you askin' me if you're in love? You're in there… cuddling… spooning probably and-"

"Hey, we're both tall guys ok, and that bed is _not_ meant for two people and he was upset and-" David interrupted, only to be interrupted again his father.

"Just. For now keep it to yourself. You don't wanna hurt the poor kid by letting him think your feelings have changed. Just be there for him, because he's sure as hell having a seriously tough time right now. We'll get Leo up and running again and help them patch things up and see how things are progressing then?"

David nodded. He trusted his father's advice to be good.

"Is Leo gonna be okay?" he asked, doing his best to keep all of their conversation away from the part of his mind where he could feel his bond with Christopher faintly in the background.

"His chances of a full recovery with zero lasting effects aren't amazing, but he should live," he said bluntly.

"What kind of lasting effects?" David asked, sinking into the chair opposite his father.

"All kinds of things really. Chemo could affect his ability to have kids if he needs another round of it, and the risks with the surgery are pretty substantial. Could lose memories, ability to walk or talk. Any kind of brain surgery is highly complicated and risky."

"But it'll be you that does it, right?"

"Uh huh, course it will. You really think I'd let any other doctor get near that kid?"

"No. I mean I just… I don't know. You've been acting weird because of being worried about him, and I didn't know if that meant you wouldn't do it."

Bones shook his head.

"No. I wouldn't trust anyone else with it, and I know Jim and Spock wouldn't either. Just look after Chris though, okay? Jim's worried about him, I can see that. Kid seems kind of unstable."

"He's a little unstable, but I don't think he'd ever do anything too crazy. I mean… do you?"

The doctor was silent for a moment.

"I don't know. I mean he's just had a huge shock, and a bad one at that, so keep an eye on him?"

David nodded and stood up to leave, intending to go and do just that.

* * *

**A/N**

**Yo! How's it hanging everyone? Acceptably I hope! My laptop is a being a little skanky bitch and is broken even though I did nothing to hurt it, and keeps deleting my chapters when I'm almost done with them, so please see above for version 4 (that's right, I had to write it FOUR times, admittedly, the first twice it deleted was only the very first bit, but STILL. Gah.) So I'm going to try and get that seen to this week, because it's just really not cool.**

**Thanks everyone for all the reviews. I hope I addressed people's issues with OOC Bones at least a little bit in this chapter. I meant to have set it up a little more so people could see how stressed he was ****_before_**** he had his tantrum but basically he feels wholly responsible for Leo's life and it's stressing him out, rightfully so. **

**Anywho. David isn't a complete asshole, I swear, he was a little better this time right?**

**I'm really curious to see how you guys think the story is going to end. Anyone want to share their theories?**

**Much love to you guys! I'll do my best to get the next chapter out ASAP!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N**

**Bit of an angtsy one, but big changes are coming ;)**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

_T'hy'la._

Jim ignored his bondmate, continuing to tap his fingertips on the armrest of the chair he was sitting in.

_Ashayam, your anxiety is troubling, please try to-_

_Spock no. I can't relax. I can't even imagine what he's going through right now._

Spock reached across and captured Jim's restless hand in his own, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Anybody hungry? I could go for some food, can I get anyone anything?" Joanna asked, getting to her feet.

Everyone looked up apart from Jim who continued to stare at the floor of the waiting room.

There were mumbles of negative responses from David, Emily and Christopher. Jim said nothing, so Spock requested food on his behalf, and coffee, white with two sugars because that's how Jim had it as a treat to himself on occasion.

"It's been forever," Emily whispered as she glanced at the clock again.

"No it hasn't. It's been like six hours," David corrected and she aimed a kick at her brother.

"Children," Spock said calmly and they both ceased, falling back into silence.

Christopher looked between his two parents, the strain easily visible on both of their faces.

Jim looked thin and pathetic in his too-large sweater and worn old jeans, his face pale and taut with worry. He hadn't been to work since Leo had slipped into his trance just over two weeks ago, spending a lot of time at his son's bedside instead.

Spock showed his worry a lot less prominently, but looked unusually tense, his brown eyes simmering with confined emotion.

_They'll be ok, and so will Leo._

Chris gave a weak half-smile as David sent the message through their bond.

In two weeks they'd become a lot closer, learning to control the bond and get used to each-others presence in their minds, figuring out not only how to share thoughts and convey messages easily, but also to shield things they wished to keep private.

Joanna returned and forced a cup of coffee and a toffee-apple muffin into Jim's hands. Jim ate about two bites before setting it down and going back to staring unresponsively at the floor.

"Jim, your body mass has-"

"Spock. Seriously. Not the time to be bitching at me to put weight on. I know. I _know_ ok? You think I feel good like this? No, I don't. I'm stressed, and this is what happens when I get stressed so… get off my back," Jim growled. David, Emily and Chris all pretended not to hear and looked away quickly, but Joanna watched their interaction with interest.

"I am simply concerned about you, that is all," Spock said quietly before shrinking back into his seat.

Jim closed his eyes and let his head fall into his hands, elbows on his knees as he sat hunched over.

_I'm sorry. I'm just so worried, the last thing I can think about is eating anything right now._

Spock didn't respond with a message of his own, he simply touched his bondmates knee lightly, leaving his hand there for a few seconds before removing it, hands clasping neatly in his lap.

There was a tense thirty minutes of silence before Seren appeared in the doorway of the room and everyone looked up hopefully.

"Chris, can we borrow you?" she asked and he looked startled for a moment before standing up, dragging David with him.

"Oh that's ok David, he'll only be a minute," she said calmly and Chris shook his head, a clear message of 'where I go, he goes' radiating from him.

"Come on then," she said and the two young men followed her from the room.

"How's he doing?" Chris asked his sister urgently as they strode down the corridor.

"It went really, really well. Between Dr McCoy and myself we managed to remove the entirety of the tumour and barely touched any other parts of his brain. We're more optimistic of a full recovery, the healing trance has given him time to fight really hard and he's done incredibly well."

Chris and David exchanged a glance, the tiniest flicker of a smile across the Kirk's face.

"So what do you need me for?" Chris asked.

"A bit of blood if you'd be alright to spare some? Yours is a much better match than mine, and he doesn't need a lot, just a little to keep him ticking over," she said and Chris nodded instantly.

"Yeah, sure, I can do that. When he wakes up tell him he owes me a thousand credits for it," he said and Seren gave a small chuckle, leading them into a room near to the operating theatre.

David was amazed at how much of a baby Chris was over the blood donation, especially considering it was entirely painless. He squirmed and grimaced and theatrically looked away as the green liquid drained from his arm.

"Holy shit how much did you _take?!_" he gasped as Seren finished and removed the IV line.

"That's a standard donation size; you'll barely even miss it. You've got over ten pints of this in your body, one to your brother won't kill you," she said, then ordered him to stay sitting for a minute to make sure he wasn't going to faint as she took the blood away with her.

"You're such a pussy, giving blood is nothing," David scoffed and Chris frowned.

"I hate anything medical. All of it freaks me out. I remember when we were kids and you had your tonsils taken out and I wouldn't go with Jim to visit you in the hospital because I hated the smell of the place so much," Chris said and David nodded.

"I remember that, it sucked a lot being trapped in that room for an entire day while I was waiting for my throat to heal. I can't imagine like two hundred years ago when it'd take a week to do that, regenerators are amazing," he said and Chris nodded.

Their eyes met for a few moments, a strange warm feeling spreading inside David's mind, sourcing from the bond. He quickly looked down at his scuffed sneakers, scratching the back of his neck.

"Alright drama queen, have you recovered from your ordeal? I'll walk you back, let everyone know Leo's out of theatre and up in recovery," Seren interrupted their awkward moment.

She led them back through the maze of hallways to the waiting room.

"He did great, and he's been moved up to recovery. Once he's been stable for an hour you can see him, but not all at once," she said and Jim finally looked up from the floor. Spock's hand was on his knee again in a caring manner that didn't go unnoticed to their daughter as she left the room again, turning quickly to rush off towards the recovery ward to monitor her younger brother's vitals and to check in with Dr McCoy who'd completed the surgery.

In her rush to get to the elevator, Seren crashed full-force into a man walking the opposite way down the corridor, sending the pile of PADD's he was balancing awkwardly in his arms clattering to the floor.

"I'm so sorry, here, let me help you get those," she said without really looking at him, quickly bending down to help pick up the items scattered all over the floor.

"It is quite alright, I do not require your assistance," he said in a toneless voice. She looked up and did her best to hide her surprise.

"You are a partial Vulcan," she said, intrigued.

"Yes, as are you," he noted, spotting her ears where her long hair was pulled back into a plait.

"I… I'm sorry, I didn't know there were any others here in San Francisco. Outside of my family I've never met any other hybrids," she said, looking at him carefully as she stood up and handed him back his things. She noticed how incredibly careful he was to not touch her hands as she did so.

"I see," he said shortly and she gave a small smile which he did not return.

He looked around her age, with dark black hair and eyes that were almost as black. Sensing that he clearly wasn't in the mood to chat, she excused herself.

"Sorry again for bumping into you. I'd better go. Nice to meet you," she said and he looked at her strangely.

"You have apologised for the same action three times in the space of thirty-seven seconds. It is entirely illogical to offer an apology more than once," he said flatly and she nodded.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," she said as she turned to walk away.

"However, I accept your apology, and agree with your assessment that you should take better care to look where you are going in future," he said and she smiled to herself.

"I'll be sure to do that."

* * *

Visitors were only allowed two at a time to see Leo.

Jim immediately and selflessly offered his place to Emily who gratefully accepted it, going into his room led by her father and with Christopher behind her who looked very unsure of himself without David at his side.

Leo was laying sprawled on his stomach, face turned to one side. The back of his head where it joined his neck was covered in a clean white dressing which was much smaller than she imagined it would have been. For some reason she had pictured his entire head being cut open, but it seemed there was only a small incision just above his neck. He wasn't breathing on his own and had a tube in his mouth they both knew was forcing air into his lungs while he was under such heavy sedation.

Emily took a deep breath and willed herself not to cry. Chris appeared to be doing the same.

"Alright guys, couple minutes okay? Then Jim and Spock and then he needs to rest," Bones said tiredly.

"Thank you," Chris said gratefully and the doctor nodded, leaving the room.

Emily slowly sank into the chair beside Leo's bed and gently picked up his hand.

"Hey, you did great today," she said quietly, thumb rubbing small circles on the back of his hand.

"And you stole half my blood," Chris added, taking his twin's other hand in his own.

"It wasn't _half_."

"It felt like half."

"It was less than ten percent."

"Half. I feel faint," he said dramatically and she rolled her eyes.

"Wake up soon so you can kick his ass?" she sighed and Chris smiled weakly.

"Hopefully he'll wake up soon, I miss him a lot," he said in a rare moment of true sincerity.

"Me too," she said quietly, leaning over and placing a feather-light kiss on his cheek. Chris smiled a little bit at them and glanced up at his brother's vital signs on the monitor.

"That looks better than it has the whole time he's been here," he said, noting the shift towards the 'green' zone and away from the red.

"It's been creeping up slowly," Emily said, lightly brushing a stray eyelash off Leo's cheek.

"Healing trances are meant to be really powerful, I did some research and apparently he could have even _cured_ himself if he knew what he was doing with it," he said and Emily narrowed her eyes.

"Wait. You know long words like 'research'?" she asked and he frowned.

"I'm not just a pretty face," he shrugged.

They were silent for a few minutes, both fixated on the young man before them and every shaky inhale he took.

"I'll give you guys a minute," Emily said, standing and giving Leo's hand one final squeeze before setting it carefully back down on the bed.

Chris gave a short, grateful nod as she left the room silently.

He took a deep breath.

"I feel stupid talking to you when I know you can't hear me," he said, running his hand over his twins too-warm forearm.

"Feel like I'm going mad, talking to myself even."

He fell silent and stared at his counterpart for several long minutes. They really did look different now, for the first time in their lives. Leo was a lot smaller than him, and paler too, his hair a little longer and messier than Chris' short crop, though now missing a chunk out of the back that would be sure to irritate him until it had grown back.

"Guess they couldn't keep us totally identical forever," he sighed, unable to help himself and lowering his left hand to his twin's face, trying to meld with his mind.

There was absolutely no response and he retracted his hand, deeply regretting having attempted it.

"I'm sorry... I just… hoped maybe you were in there somewhere," he mumbled quietly, falling silent again until the door opened and Jim shuffled into the room, Spock close behind.

Chris caught both of their eyes and wordlessly excused himself from the room, feeling like he could barely breathe by the time he reached the hallway outside.

The next twenty-four hours would be crucial, he knew that it was the tipping point, but he didn't want to be anywhere near it.

"You alright? You look a little… off," David asked and Chris nodded stubbornly.

"I'm fine."

"Chris I can feel that you aren't. Don't be worried, he's in really good hands here and he-"

David was cut off as Chris slammed him into the wall, fists curled in his jacket and snarl on his face.

"_Leave me alone._"

Christopher dropped him and within seconds was gone from the hallway, racing through the endless white corridors in search of the daylight outside. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't get away from the suffocating silence inside his twins mind. It felt like he wasn't in there at all.

"Chris!"

He didn't look back at David who'd chased him out. He crossed the street hurriedly, and headed in the direction of his apartment, leaving David standing staring after him, confused and frustrated at his lack of understanding of Chris's outburst.

* * *

To say that Jim was emotionally compromised by seeing Leo after his surgery would have been an understatement.

Spock managed to coax him gently to the car, and then get him home. He hadn't said a word the whole time.

"Jim?"

He ignored him as they walked up the driveway to the front of the house, Jim letting himself in silently, leaving the door open behind him for Spock to follow.

Spock did so and closed the door behind himself, following Jim into the living room and removing his own coat and slipping off his boots. Jim had left both items of his own on.

"Remove your coat Jim, there is no requirement of it inside the house," Spock attempted and Jim said nothing, just stared blankly at him.

His mouth opened and closed a few times as he tried to say something, but didn't, couldn't.

"I will assist," he said stepping forwards and carefully unfastening Jim's grey woollen coat one button at a time before pushing it back off his shoulders and removing it, taking it and hanging it neatly in the hallway beside his own.

Spock walked back over to Jim and stood directly in front of him, forcing him to look at him.

Their eyes connected and Spock took both of Jim's hands in his own.

"I love you," he said quietly and Jim nodded slightly.

They were silent for a few long moments before Jim tore his eyes from Spock's, closing them for a moment before speaking.

"I'm going to go and lie down for a while," he said stiffly.

Spock released his hands and Jim left the room, clumsily kicking off his boots in the hallway before padding upstairs in just his socks.

Jim shrugged off his sweater and pulled his belt out of its loops, dropping both items onto the floor before crashing onto the bed fully clothed and face down, falling instantly into a light slumber that he was only roused from when he felt a pair of warm hands gliding over his back.

"Spock, what are you-"

"_Ashayam,_ relax, allow me," he said softly, thumbs tracing the elevated peaks of every protruding vertebrae of Jim's spine. Jim whimpered at the touch, and again as Spock's hands reached his tense shoulders and immediately began to work the knots out of them.

He didn't know how Spock got his shirt stripped off him, or when he closed the blinds or lit the candles he normally kept for his meditation, but he was aware of Spock's hands on his back, kneading, caressing, helping him relax, his voice in his mind reminding him to breathe, slowly, in and out.

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

_Talk to me, T'hy'la. Do not feel you must restrain your emotions when we are alone._

Jim screwed up his face. His body felt so relaxed now, with Spock's hands easing his tired and tense muscles, but his mind was stuck on that image of Leo laying in the hospital, looking so completely and utterly pathetic.

"What if he dies, Spock?" Jim whispered into the pillow and Spock's hands stopped moving over his skin. "I mean, I know we haven't really talked about it… but now it seems more… real, more like it's a possible outcome. I mean, Bones said it went better than they expected, but what if? What if something goes wrong? Or his heart gives up? Or there's some other complication?"

Spock was silent as he contemplated his response, placing a small kiss on the back of Jim's neck before speaking.

"Then we will, as I believe you would say 'cross that bridge if we come to it.' Our son is one of the strongest people I have ever met; he is not likely to give up his fight having come so far."

"Spock you don't understand what I'm saying," Jim sighed.

"I'm talking about if he dies. Actually _dies_. How would we even begin to heal from that?"

Another few seconds of silence passed and Jim turned, his eyes meeting Spock's dark orbs which were suddenly brimming with tears.

"We will not," Spock mumbled. Jim pulled him into a hug, Spock's emotional control faltering.

"I'm sorry Spock, I didn't mean to upset you I just… he can't even _breathe_ for himself right now. It's like the day he was born all over again, except this time I can't sit beside that incubator and watch him breathe until I fall asleep, I have to be here, I'm not _allowed_ to stay with him," Jim sighed.

"You are aware of the risks of secondary infections due to his over-exerted immune system, it would be wise if he received the fewest possible visits from the fewest possible people in order to minimise the chances of this happening," Spock said in monotone. Jim nodded against his shoulder.

"I know. And that's why I know I'm doing the best thing for him by staying here but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like a bad parent," he said and Spock took his hand.

"That could not be further from the truth. You are an excellent parent, Jim, you always have been."

"But right now? And he's there all alone? I should be there. You know, I can't stay here, I'm going to be with him," Jim said, launching himself out of the bed and scrambling for his shirt. He threaded his belt back through the loops of his jeans whilst Spock watched him silently.

_T'hy'la, I know you are doing this for what you believe are the right reasons, but it is for the best if you stay-_

"I'm not like you Spock. I can't just _switch off _my feelings when they become inconvenient. When he was a baby I swore that for his whole life, I'd do whatever he needed me to do for him, and right now that means sitting with him. I don't find it easy to leave the people I love when they need me most," Jim said spitefully, turning and leaving the room.

Spock let his twinge of hurt at those words seep through the bond, wanting Jim to know the effect they'd had on him.

Since he had returned home, he'd tried his best with Jim. The circumstances were incredibly difficult with all of the various drama, but Spock had tried to be affectionate to his mate, tried to explain he was sorry for leaving for so long. Though Jim claimed to have accepted his apologies, Spock felt sometimes that Jim didn't really know what he wanted and in the last two weeks had been steadily pushing him away.

It was a distinct possibility that Jim was paranoid about Spock leaving again, and every time he felt himself getting too close to his husband, would push him away again to save himself from getting hurt if he were to leave again.

* * *

David pressed the button again. He could hear the chime going off inside the apartment so it was definitely working, and he knew Chris wasn't at his parents house, or the hospital, so was likely to be inside.

There was a muffled scrambling noise from inside the apartment and David stayed very still as he tried to listen to it.

"Chris?"

The scrambling seemed to increase, getting louder as it neared the door.

David tensed as the door slid open, ready to attack if whoever was inside wasn't Chris.

"Jesus! The hell happened to you?" David demanded. Chris was crawling along the floor, spaced out expression on his face and unable to walk. A rush of concern spread through the younger man, never having seen his friend in such a mess.

"I don'member," he slurred and David quickly entered the apartment and closed the door.

"Damn it Chris, look at the fucking state of you! What did you do?" he asked and Chris' eyes rolled back in his head.

"I d'no."

David immediately pulled his communicator from his pocket, trying to reach Jim but failing.

"Come on, lets get you on the couch or something," David said, hooking his arms one under each of Chris's armpits and trying to heave him to his feet.

"You need to try and stand up, ok? I'm not strong enough to pick you up, so you need to push down with your legs and stand up," he said clearly. Chris made a feeble attempt at standing and failed miserably, leaving David to drag him over to the couch.

"What do you weigh now huh? Like three hundred pounds or something?" David grunted as he was able to just about lift his friend so he was sitting on the couch.

Chris didn't answer, his head lolling back uselessly.

David felt a deep rush of concern for his bondmate.

"Did you drink something?" he asked gently and Chris nodded, eyes squeezed tightly closed.

"Ok, that's good. What was it?"

Chris didn't answer, staying very still.

"Chris? Do you remember what it was you were drinking?"

"I don' know," he managed out, forcing his eyes open and staring up at David blearily.

"Hey, that's fine, I'll figure it out," David said, giving Chris' shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

David was no doctor, but he knew right away something was very wrong with his friend, more than could be caused by just drink alone.

"Did you… take anything? Like anything you maybe shouldn't have?" he asked and Chris giggled feebly.

"Everything," he said surprisingly clearly.

"What do you mean everything?" he asked and Chris shook his head again.

"Hey, I'm going to help you and we're going to go in the bathroom, ok? And I need you to throw up for me," David explained as he began to half drag half help Chris stumble to the bathroom.

David racked his brain, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn't call his father, he was sleeping, off duty for a few hours after Leo's surgery. Seren was caring for Leo, so she wasn't really an option either, unless she'd be willing to leave him in the care of another doctor.

"Here you go buddy," David said, fighting to keep his voice steady as he got Chris to kneel in front of the toilet.

He didn't take much encouragement to empty his stomach.

David knelt beside him and rubbed his back until all the gagging subsided. Chris leant his face against the cold porcelain.

"Hey hey, don't do that, I know you never clean this thing," David discouraged, helping Chris sit back against the wall.

"I do clean," he protested weakly, closing his eyes and resting his head on his knees, panting for breath.

David fetched a washcloth and held it under the warm water for a few moments until it was soaked before wringing it out and taking it over to Chris, handing it to him before realising he was far too useless to be able to wash his own face.

Trying not to think about much it reminded him of his Pon Farr, David helped Chris to wash his face, brush his teeth and drink half a glass of water.

For a few brief moments David contemplated calling emergency help for Chris, but quickly dismissed that solution when he realised that if Chris had taken anything illegal, he'd get thrown in jail.

"I'm going to take you to bed now, okay?" David explained clearly and Chris giggled feebly again.

"Takin' a-vantage," Chris slurred and David shook his head.

"No, not taking advantage of you, just real worried about you, and you need to be layin' down. Can you walk?" he asked and Chris tried to heave himself to his feet, losing balance and almost falling face first onto the bathroom tiles.

"Hey, no, let me help you."

A few minutes of struggling later David managed to get Chris to his bedroom, but making him actually get into bed was proving more of a challenge. He sat stubbornly on the floor, refusing to move.

"I'll leave you here to sleep on the floor," David warned and Chris shrugged.

"Good."

"No, Chris, not good. You don't want to sleep on the floor when your bed is right there. See, look how comfortable this is," David said, sitting on the edge of the bed and patting the spot beside him.

Chris stared at him blankly and David sighed.

"What's the matter huh? What's wrong?" David asked quietly and Chris turned away as his eyes filled with tears.

David got up off the bed and walked over to sit beside Chris on the floor.

"Hmm? Hey, talk to me, it's okay," he encouraged gently and Chris sniffled.

"Leo's gonna die."

"Now don't talk silly. Leo isn't going to die, I promise you," David said firmly as Chris stayed stubbornly looking at the floor.

Before he really thought about what he was doing, David had one hand on the side of Christopher's face, and was turning it gently so he would look at him.

"I promise you Christopher. Leo is going to be okay," he said softly and Chris blinked back tears, nodding slightly.

"That's not everything is it?" David asked quietly, blue eyes piercing into Chris' dark brown ones through the half-light.

"Jim doesn't love me, and Spock doesn't love me, and your dad hates me, everyone hates me," he mumbled, eyes going out of focus before he struggled to regain control and look at David.

He shook his head slightly.

"Nobody hates you silly."

"Everybody hates me."

"No they don't. And of _course_ Jim and Spock love you, they're your parents! They're going to love you forever, no matter what happens. My dad doesn't hate you, and nobody else hates you. Why do you think that?" David asked gently and Chris tumbled forwards into his arms, holding onto him for support and mumbling into his shoulder.

"Always been too busy with Leo to notice I even exist."

"Now you know that aint the truth. They always tried their best to treat you two the same, and ok sure, Leo has needed some extra help from time to time… but he can't see, of course he's going to need help sometimes. Just take a deep breath Chris, none of this is true, dunno where you're gettin' it from," David said in what he hoped was a soothing tone of voice.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Chris asked, pulling back enough to look David in the eye.

"Because I'm your friend. Hey lets go lie down? Yeah? Get all wrapped up in the bed to keep warm?" David tried to persuade as he noticed Chris was shivering.

He nodded weakly and finally allowed David to get him tucked into his bed, still fully clothed.

"You're gonna leave now," Chris mumbled sadly and David shook his head.

"No. No I'll stay, if you want me to stay," he trailed off and Chris nodded, closing his eyes again. David carefully climbed into the bed beside him, but didn't get under the blankets with him, nor touch him, he just lay beside him, close enough to be comforting but far enough away to not be encroaching on his personal space.

They were silent for a few minutes, Chris taking slow, shuddering breaths that made David even more worried about him and what he'd done.

"You want to tell me what you took before I got here?" he asked quietly and Chris fumbled in the drawer of his bedside cabinet, pushing a bottle of pills and a crumpled candy wrapper into his hand.

"Chocolate and anxiety medication. Interesting combo there."

"Chocolate always makes me sick," Chris muttered.

"Thought it made you drunk?"

"Drunk then sick," he corrected and David nodded. The pills were prescription, so at least obtained through legal means, and there were plenty left so he hadn't swallowed all of them.

"How are you feeling? Do I need to call somebody?" he asked and Chris shook his head.

"No I think just you seeing me like this is enough," he said with a weak attempt at a laugh. David didn't laugh.

"I'm worried about you," he admitted before he could stop himself.

"Why? You don't care about me. Not like I care about you."

Chris shifted a little and turned so he could look at his friend beside him. Their eyes met in the half-light and David moved a little closer.

"Of course I care about you. Seeing you like this? God, I thought you were trying to kill yourself or something, you scared the shit out of me," David whispered, unable to keep the genuine worry in his voice hidden.

"Like you'd care if I did," Chris said bitterly and David put his hand on the side of his face.

"Of course I'd care. And Jim and Spock would care, Emily and Joanna and Seren would care. A lot of people love you and care about you, and you need to tell people when you feel like this, not just run away and lock yourself in here and poison yourself. I… hate seeing you like this. It'd really upset me if you did something stupid to hurt yourself," he said and Chris blinked, all of a sudden looking very sober indeed.

David did everything he could to fight back the urge to let every new feeling he'd been having for his friend come tumbling out of his mouth in that moment, fighting harder still to keep the information hidden from his bond with Chris, preventing him from seeing it.

"And why would it upset you?" Chris probed further, not even the slightest hint of a slur in his voice.

"Because… god damn it," David muttered, eyes flicking from Chris' eyes down to his lips and back up again.

"Because…"

He paused and took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest as he moved a few inches closer, barely a centimetre between them now. His hand on the side of Chris' face moved down to his jaw, thumb tracing the corner of his lips. Chris closed his eyes and David closed the gap, pressing his lips to the part-Vulcan's in a tender kiss. He could taste minty toothpaste and salty tears and pulled away quickly.

"I'm sorry I-"

"David… don't stop."

"I have to. I can't… I can't do this," he whispered, shaking his head and removing his hand from the other's face.

"Why? I don't understand."

David stood up quickly, doing his best not to look at the pathetic form in the bed, confused and upset and no doubt now feeling worse because of him.

"I don't understand either. I wish I did," he sighed, meeting Christopher's eyes once more before leaving the apartment without looking back.

* * *

_It was warm. The breeze ruffled his hair as he stood alone in the sun, cooling water of the encroaching tide lapping at his bare toes._

_He took a few steps further out into the water, feeling the sand between his toes, the coolness of the waves around his ankles now. The horizon stretched out before him, infinite and golden. He wasn't certain if the sun was setting or rising._

_"Hey, wait up!"_

_Turning, he smiled._

_"Hey dad, what took you so long?"_

_Jim ran a hand through his hair and laughed._

_"I was trying to persuade Spock to come join us, but you know what he's like with water."_

_Leo laughed._

_"Yeah. He's like a cat."_

_"Yep. You'd never catch him doing this," he said, crashing into the water, kicking it out before him and sending silvery glistening droplets flying. He was wearing a short sleeved white shirt with the top two buttons unfastened, hanging loosely and rippling in the warm breeze. His beige pants were rolled up enough that he could stand beside his youngest son in the water without getting them wet. He looked the furthest thing from a Starfleet captain, so relaxed now out of his uniform._

_"I've spent a long time waiting for the day we could do this, just look out at the ocean together," Jim said softly and Leo nodded._

_"It's nice," he said quietly._

_Jim and Leo stood in silence for a long while, looking out at the azure ocean and golden sky, the colours melding together in the line of the horizon._

_"Hey Jim, where are we?" Leo asked, suddenly realising he had no idea._

_Jim didn't answer but continued staring out into the distance._

_"Hey promise me something?" Jim asked and Leo nodded._

_"Yeah sure, anything."_

_"Never give up," he said and Leo hesitated for a moment before nodding._

_"Yeah, of course not. Never," he said and Jim nodded and smiled._

_They both fell silent and remained there for long enough that they both lost track of time, standing in the sun as it rose and bathed them in it's warming glow._

* * *

**A/N**

**Thank you guys for being so patient in waiting for this one, I know I've been a little slow this week, and I know this isn't the longest chapter in the world, but I promise I'll make it up to you with what's coming up! I've been ill this week so haven't been feeling the best so I apologise if this chapter is full of mistakes (I'll be sure to fix them when I properly proof-read in the morning, just really wanted to get it posted for now).**

**That little part at the end is significant, so don't forget about it or write it off as random. ****_Big, BIG_**** things happening in the next two chapters so stay tuned. Thank you as always for your reviews and continued support, it really means a lot :) As ever, I'd love to hear what you think!**


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